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Friend trouble..wants more

  • 12-06-2011 5:18pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I have a friend who I consider close. We have a laugh. Trouble is, he clearly fancied me so I backed off. Then one night we had a chat and I told him what I thought in so many words, he said it was ok to him, he just wants to be my friend. So I thought it might be fine. Turns out he seems to be getting a bit more full on and he knows well I am not into him. In fact I am getting a little uncomfortable now with this 'friendship'. He clearly still fancies me a lot. He won't make a pass but its by his actions and comments here and there. I don't know why he wants to continue this way when I clearly don't reciprocate. I know I should probably end the friendship as it is unfair to him....but how?


Comments

  • #2
    calex71
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,126 ✭✭✭✭calex71


    he's being unfair to you too if you spelled it out OP, making you feel uncomfortable when the cards have been laid on the table is not cool. If he didnt take the hint being spelled out very clearly for him them his feelings are an aside tbh.

    Clearly he can't be just friends !!!!!! Which is only a recipe for trouble.


  • #3
    JonathanAnon
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23,718 ✭✭✭✭JonathanAnon


    He may be trying to "win you over" .. Do you have to work with the guy or how do you know him? Do you get left alone with him in certain situations (cos it sounds like you feel a bit intimidated)?..


  • #4
    Overheal
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 86,729 ✭✭✭✭Overheal


    JonathanAnon wrote: »
    He may be trying to "win you over" ..
    Only if he's being disingenuous. Maybe he really does want to make the friendship work out, and maybe he is still just wrestling with his feelings about it. But thats for the OP to judge.

    I wouldn't analyse it too much OP. Simply, if you feel uncomfortable, back out of conversations or visits, and leave it at that. I don't like sticking around some place I feel uncomfortable either.


  • #5
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    No we don't work together, we just know each other well. He is always texting me compliments when he is drunk and makes comments here and there, not inappropriate but they do make me a little uneasy. It sounds like he is trying to be nice but I think it is a little bit much, seeing as we had the 'chat'. I really would like to continue being friends, as I said we have a laugh and get on well, but i dont see it working out if it continues like this. I am uncomfortable alone with him and when we are in the company of other people he only talks to me. I don't know what to do without it being messy.


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