What way does it work then ?

Mc Kenzie

I was wandering.

Iv been kinda seeing a guy, well we spend more time in bed if you get me.
however i get on with him and makes me laugh.
i dont get in touch much only when were to meet ect.

i always have known that once you sleep with someone they wont think that much else of you. so i dont have expectations from this.

but than he text a more meaningful msg that sounded real genuine and kind.

I thaught it worked the opposite way with fellas?

doesnt it.......oh god ill never know...:rolleyes:..

TommyTippee

Mc Kenzie wrote: »

i always have known that once you sleep with someone they wont think that much else of you. so i dont have expectations from this

This is rubbish really. It depends on the people involved always.

Good sign for you is that he's all gooey-eyed after the event....that means he likes you a lot.

Enjoy it and stop over-thinking!

Mc Kenzie

i guess it it depends on the person then. cool:D

Beruthiel

Mc Kenzie wrote: »

I
i always have known that once you sleep with someone they wont think that much else of you.

That's a load of hogwash.

Oryx

I thaught it worked the opposite way with fellas?

You thought wrong. There are no rules or fixed ways that men or women behave. Youre dealing with an individual guy and if he seems keen well then he probably is.

Mc Kenzie

Beruthiel wrote: »

That's a load of hogwash.

There has to be some part of that that is true. most people say guys like something to acomplish, or a challenge. isnt it true at all that once its made to easy for them like sleeping together straight away, theres no "batle to be won"

Oryx

Mc Kenzie wrote: »

There has to be some part of that that is true. most people say guys like something to acomplish, or a challenge. isnt it true at all that once its made to easy for them like sleeping together straight away, theres no "batle to be won"

For goodness sake, thats such a simplistic way to look at it. Yeah, sometimes people shag around, but everyone has feelings, men and women. Stop over analysing this and go with what he says to you, trust that.

Mc Kenzie

im not over analysing i just wanted other opinions.

Miss Fluff

Mc Kenzie wrote: »

I was wandering.

Iv been kinda seeing a guy, well we spend more time in bed if you get me.
however i get on with him and makes me laugh.
i dont get in touch much only when were to meet ect.

Maybe I'm wrong, but I get from your post that you only really meet for sex and in between sex sessions there isn't much contact. Am I reading that right?

Mc Kenzie

Miss Fluff wrote: »

Maybe I'm wrong, but I get from your post that you only really meet for sex and in between sex sessions there isn't much contact. Am I reading that right?

well yea only text but not much

I am a friend

Never mind him - are you happy the way things are?

Miss Fluff

Mc Kenzie wrote: »

well yea only text but not much

Do you want it to be more than just sex then? Or are you happy with the arrangement as it is?

By the way, sleeping with a guy doesn't automatically mean he just sees you as a casual FWB. Some of the most solid relationships I know started with a shag

Mc Kenzie

Thats the question isnt it:rolleyes:....

i Dont know its nice the way is but im not ruling anything out but i dont want to getmy hopes up either.

i think il just take it as it comes.

thanks for yer advise and opinions:)

Miss Fluff

How long has this been going on?

Mc Kenzie

about two or three months i think

Miss Fluff

Do you go out together as a couple? Besides from sexy time do you ever go out for drinks/food or to social events? How do you think he'd feel if you suggested it?

Because while I normally loath time frames/labelling/sterotypes of any description (they are so at odds with what I'm about) I do think that the 2-3 month mark which you are at now is roughly around the time where you take a look at what's happening.

You say you like what's happening now but you don't want to get your hopes up either. That suggests you do like him. So the question then is are you happy to see him solely for sex? Or do you want something more?

I'm a big fan of having a FWBs. I think for a woman who doesn't like one-night-stands but likes to have good sex on tap then it's a really great arrangement. It is however not a good arrangement at all if you harbour feelings for the person or hope that it will turn into something more. Then it's just potentially damaging and painful and you're settling for less. Not good for self-esteem.

If I were in your shoes and he is giving you signals that he likes you then I'd be inclined to put my neck on the line and see what happens. And I'm not suggesting you turn up on his doorstep wearing a wedding veil, more that you say that you like hanging out with him and you'd like to go on some "dates", like to a gig or out for some food etc and start seeing more of him outside the bedroom too. You'll soon know then if he is also keen on you away from all the great sex you've been having.

The other alternative is to say nothing and continue hooking up for sex. But you have to have your eyes wide open if that's the case and hold out no hope of it ever turning into anything more.

Mc Kenzie

Miss Fluff wrote: »

Do you go out together as a couple? Besides from sexy time do you ever go out for drinks/food or to social events? How do you think he'd feel if you suggested it?

Because while I normally loath time frames/labelling/sterotypes of any description (they are so at odds with what I'm about) I do think that the 2-3 month mark which you are at now is roughly around the time where you take a look at what's happening.

You say you like what's happening now but you don't want to get your hopes up either. That suggests you do like him. So the question then is are you happy to see him solely for sex? Or do you want something more?

I'm a big fan of having a FWBs. I think for a woman who doesn't like one-night-stands but likes to have good sex on tap then it's a really great arrangement. It is however not a good arrangement at all if you harbour feelings for the person or hope that it will turn into something more. Then it's just potentially damaging and painful and you're settling for less. Not good for self-esteem.

If I were in your shoes and he is giving you signals that he likes you then I'd be inclined to put my neck on the line and see what happens. And I'm not suggesting you turn up on his doorstep wearing a wedding veil, more that you say that you like hanging out with him and you'd like to go on some "dates", like to a gig or out for some food etc and start seeing more of him outside the bedroom too. You'll soon know then if he is also keen on you away from all the great sex you've been having.

The other alternative is to say nothing and continue hooking up for sex. But you have to have your eyes wide open if that's the case and hold out no hope of it ever turning into anything more.

interesting.:)

aidan24326

Mc Kenzie wrote: »

There has to be some part of that that is true. most people say guys like something to acomplish, or a challenge. isnt it true at all that once its made to easy for them like sleeping together straight away, theres no "batle to be won"

You're just falling into the age-old trap here of thinking there are some kind of 'rules' to how all this works, or that you can paint all guys with the same brush. None of that is true, not any part of it. Sure some guys may be players who will just love you and leave you after they've had their way, but it doesn't always have to be like that. I slept with a girl on the first night about two and half years ago. We now live together. See what I mean?

If you like him snd he's indicated that he's keen on you then go for it. You've nothing to lose. Suggest a night out together away from the bedroom and see where that takes you.