Screaming kids ... "That's just the way they are I'm afraid!"

mathie

Out for lunch the other day and this 3-year old kid beside us was screaming non-stop at the top of his voice about something or other that he wanted.
The parents seemed oblivious.

So after a good ten minutes of this and conciously not looking over I look over and the mother must have been waiting for a reaction as she meets my eyes and goes "That's just the way they are I'm afraid!"

So are all kids little terrors or is this just bad parenting at work?

orourkeda

I hate the little c*nts

Matthew23

well i think alot of people dont know that it is harder to get people to know what your saying if you cant speak the langage , i think if we couldnt speak the langage of everyone else we would scream like the babies too! :eek:

CiaranC

I dont mind kids as long as I dont have to look at them, hear them, or espeicially - hear about them.

hondasam

They should be seen and not heard.

seriously I blame the parents.

chin_grin

Why is it that you need a dog license but any idiot that shoots his muck in to some chung wans flossy ends up having a litter of these dough headed "upstanding members of society" because they don't understand cause and effect?

So it's both I think. The child for being a child and the parent for being thrust in to a position that neither wanted and so blaming everything else but themselves and letting TV raise their child while they watch Saw movies. F*ckin' society.

stargazer 68

A mate of mine has a little boy (hes around 6 I think) and when there are events etc the common phrase is 'I hope she doesnt bring ****'. She has even stopped being invited to things because he is such a brat.

She is a lone parent and doesnt want to be the bad guy all the time with him but hes turning into an utter monster.

Guill

mathie wrote: »

Out for lunch the other day and this 3-year old kid beside us was screaming non-stop at the top of his voice about something or other that he wanted.
The parents seemed oblivious.

So after a good ten minutes of this and conciously not looking over I look over and the mother must have been waiting for a reaction as she meets my eyes and goes "That's just the way they are I'm afraid!"

So are all kids little terrors or is this just bad parenting at work?

So the child was screaming looking for something and the parents ignored him?

What would you do OP?
Give the child what it wanted and teach him that screaming gets him his way?
Well done parents for sticking to their guns, especiaslly in a situation where a stuck up tit is eyeing and sighing at you.

Wake up OP.

Logical Fallacy

mathie wrote: »

Out for lunch the other day and this 3-year old kid beside us was screaming non-stop at the top of his voice about something or other that he wanted.
The parents seemed oblivious.

So after a good ten minutes of this and conciously not looking over I look over and the mother must have been waiting for a reaction as she meets my eyes and goes "That's just the way they are I'm afraid!"

So are all kids little terrors or is this just bad parenting at work?

I'm sure this will be met with anger by parents but it's bad parenting.

Neither myself or my siblings screamed in public when we were younger...my brothers children are incredibly well behaved when out and about (ages range from 2 to 4 years old), my sister kid is incredible well behaved when out and about.

All my friends kids bar one are very well behaved when out and about, no kicking or screaming at all either.

That is not the way kids are, it's the way the woman and her lazy ****ing husband are.

The King of Moo

At three years old, it's probably the parents' fault.
If the kid is just a baby, then yeah, sometimes they cry and you just can't stop them, though of course the parents should at least try to stop them, unlike the ones you encountered.
But by three the child should be disciplined for acting up like that, so the parents should tell them to stop, and if they can't manage that they should take the kid outside out of respect for others.
They've probably already spoiled the child, which is why it's crying for something it wants.

biko

It's the old nature versus nurture question.
Imo, most are to blame on bad parenting skills (but hey, it's not like you get a handbook with all the answers) but a minority are just little b***rds.
Then of course they can have some illness or something.

Guill

Kids are random Arseholes, some need more work than others.

The King of Moo

Guill wrote: »

So the child was screaming looking for something and the parents ignored him?

What would you do OP?
Give the child what it wanted and teach him that screaming gets him his way?
Well done parents for sticking to their guns, especiaslly in a situation where a stuck up tit is eyeing and sighing at you.

Wake up OP.

But this was in a public place, presumably a restaurant or café, where the kid was bothering other people. I know they can't give in to the kid but they could tell it to stop messing pretty sternly and/or take it outside till it stopped crying out of courtesy to the people around them.

Ghandee

Kids are just that, kids!

Imo, its to do with their upbringing and what they learn as acceptable behaviour from their parents and older siblings!

At the end of the day though, we were all kids at some point in our lives, and I'm sure nie of us were the righteous, polite, articulate people we like to think we are now when we were young ourselves!

Let them scream, let them throw wobblers! For Christ sake they are KIDS! They have the rest of their lives to suffer with jobs, bills, relationship issues, self development etc!

Wish to fcuk I was one again!

El Weirdo

Guill wrote: »

So the child was screaming looking for something and the parents ignored him?

What would you do OP?
Give the child what it wanted and teach him that screaming gets him his way?
Well done parents for sticking to their guns, especiaslly in a situation where a stuck up tit is eyeing and sighing at you.

Wake up OP.

The parents should have brought the kid away from where other people were trying to enjoy their meal.

That would be the decent thing to do.

wes

Sometime even normally well behaved kids will throw a tantrum, but I would at least expect the parents to try and stop the kid screaming.

TheZohanS

Guill wrote: »

So the child was screaming looking for something and the parents ignored him?

What would you do OP?
Give the child what it wanted and teach him that screaming gets him his way?
Well done parents for sticking to their guns, especiaslly in a situation where a stuck up tit is eyeing and sighing at you.

Wake up OP.

Fùck that. Why the hell should other people have to suffer because these parents are teaching their spoilt brat a lesson?

Let them bring their kid outside 'til it shuts up. If they want a place where they can do their own thing and shout as much as they want let them hire their own function room. If an adult shouted or screamed they'd be turfed out.

mathie

Guill wrote: »

So the child was screaming looking for something and the parents ignored him?

What would you do OP?
Give the child what it wanted and teach him that screaming gets him his way?

I think you've missed the point.

The discipline was obviously missing. This child has most likely not been taught the 'naughty step' or 'naughty corner'. He's just been allowed scream and scream and scream.

Guill wrote: »

stuck up tit is eyeing and sighing at you

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.
I was eyeing (looked once in ten minutes) and sighing was I?

Elle Collins

I walk out of restaurants in situations like this, and I always make sure to let the staff and parents know why. Selfish scum-bucket parents like this turn my guts. :mad:

PCPhoto

B0llox .... kids will throw a temper tantrum if they want something - but that can be stopped by proper parenting.

parents need to be allowed to *discipline(light smack on the back of the legs) their kids in public without some joe bloggs calling child services and some busybody telling them they are raising their child the incorrect way.

we live in a nanny state where kids are mollycoddled !!

*=important to make a distinguish between discipline and physical/mental abuse.

It probably is nature vs nurture, and some is parenting and some is just little terrors! And I'm sure it must be hard for the parents to deal with the kid. But I think they probably should have brought him outside or home... I don't mean go home every time the child has a fit but once or twice to show "no messing or else" might do the trick...

neilthefunkeone

Id go mental... I understand kids are going to be kids but if they are disrupting others they need to be removed or sorted out..

Don't get me started on parents that let their little mistakes run around shops on their own..

suicide_circus

Guill wrote: »

So the child was screaming looking for something and the parents ignored him?

What would you do OP?
Give the child what it wanted and teach him that screaming gets him his way?
Well done parents for sticking to their guns, especiaslly in a situation where a stuck up tit is eyeing and sighing at you.

Wake up OP.

So instead they teach the child that it is acceptable to scream and shout in a restaurant?
Umm, maybe they could actually do their fycking job as parents, discipline their child and tell it to STFU? And if it dosnt stop bring it home instead of being ignorant cnuts and inflicting their brats tantrum on other people?

PCPhoto

The King of Moo wrote: »

But this was in a public place, presumably a restaurant or café, where the kid was bothering other people. I know they can't give in to the kid but they could tell it to stop messing pretty sternly and/or take it outside till it stopped crying out of courtesy to the people around them.

Ha !! and you'd probably have the parents suing because they are discriminated against because they have kids !!

(its simply bad parenting IMO - they want to allow the kid to scream and get ignored so the kid thinks screaming is ineffective, which is their choice but in a public place they need to think about other people whom it effects)

sesna

I had to endure an 8 hour over night flight two weeks ago with a little cnut beside me (around 3) screaming with the most hideous shrill for a good portion of it. Why the fluck do parents put their kids in these situations when they cant control them?

melb

This wasn't a baby-it was a child.

If a baby is crying most parents I see will take them outside until they stop.

But they leave a kid there and ignore them to teach them a lesson..

The only lesson that kid is learning is that it is OK to cause a scene in public, that there will not be any consequences and that it doeesn't matter that there are other people there as it is non of their business.

Lanaier

Guill wrote: »

So the child was screaming looking for something and the parents ignored him?

What would you do OP?
Give the child what it wanted and teach him that screaming gets him his way?
Well done parents for sticking to their guns, especiaslly in a situation where a stuck up tit is eyeing and sighing at you.

Wake up OP.

Saying "That's just the way they are I'm afraid!" is not sticking to your guns, it's not dealing with it.

Besides, I'm sure there is more to raising a kid than teaching them how to behave.
Kids having a tendency to scream and shout can often be attributed to diet or circumstances at home.

Many of these things are well within the control of any parent in a country like Ireland in 2011.

Finally, yes -if your child is causing a scene at a public dining are where people are paying for food- it's absolutely your responsibility to sort it out or at least try.

hondasam

sesna wrote: »

I had to endure an 8 hour over night flight two weeks ago with a little cnut beside me (around 3) screaming with the most hideous shrill for a good portion of it. Why the fluck do parents put their kids in these situations when they cant control them?

Lets be fair here they could not leave the child in the airport.
flying is scary for little kids. This would be annoying but their is nothing parents can do in these circumstances.

Dangerous Man

There is a school of thought in parenting that recommends simply ignoring children when they act out in the way described. It's a behaviourist approach that eventually causes the child to stop misbheaving because it eventually realizes that it consistently doesn't get its own way. There's something to be said for it but I think in public situations where a child's tantrum is affecting others - a parent needs to act decisively to silence the child.

carlybabe1

Guill wrote: »

So the child was screaming looking for something and the parents ignored him?

What would you do OP?
Give the child what it wanted and teach him that screaming gets him his way?
Well done parents for sticking to their guns, especiaslly in a situation where a stuck up tit is eyeing and sighing at you.

Wake up OP.

Yeah great parenting, ignore the problem instead of laying down boundry rules, or teaching your child consequences, and let everybody else suffer. Its lazy parenting to ingnore a situation and hope the child just "grows out of it". If it was my child they would be warned that if the behaviour continued there would be a consequence, and warned once only. Theres plenty of parenting books out there to assist with these kinds of tantrums.

PCPhoto

sesna wrote: »

I had to endure an 8 hour over night flight two weeks ago with a little cnut beside me (around 3) screaming with the most hideous shrill for a good portion of it. Why the fluck do parents put their kids in these situations when they cant control them?

I could understand a child screaming at take off and landing (due to ears popping and not knowing what is actually going on) ... but during the main part of the flight .... only think I can think of is that the child was bored and wanted attention....or had an injury/sunburn and it was hurting them.

sesna

hondasam wrote: »

Lets be fair here they could not leave the child in the airport.
flying is scary for little kids. This would be annoying but their is nothing parents can do in these circumstances.

Unless it's for medical treatment, or permanently moving (the family were obviously on holiday), why is it necessary to bring the child in the first place? If they are going to behave like that, just leave them at home or dont go in the first place.

hondasam

sesna wrote: »

Unless it's for medical treatment, or permanently moving (the family were obviously on holiday), why is it necessary to bring the child in the first place? If they are going to behave like that, just leave them at home or dont go in the first place.

That's not fair imo.

I would be interested to know how many posters here at the moment have children. It's easy say if they were mine etc etc.

melb

sesna wrote: »

Unless it's for medical treatment, or permanently moving (the family were obviously on holiday), why is it necessary to bring the child in the first place? If they are going to behave like that, just leave them at home or dont go in the first place.

Controversial....letting badly behaved kids stop you from doing things you want to do like goinig on holidays...

melb

hondasam wrote: »

That's not fair imo.

I would be interested to know how many posters here at the moment have children. It's easy say if they were mine etc etc.

Should opinion on this be strictly limited to those with kids?

Sesshoumaru

If my 4 year old started screaming I would discipline her fairly quickly! I don't want screaming kids beside me when I'm eating, so I wouldn't inflict them on others. It's a bit more difficult when it's a baby. The other day our 6 month old daughter was getting cranky and moany while we were in a restaurant. You can't really discipline a 6 month old child, but I put her in her pram and brought her outside the restaurant for a walk. When I came back 10 minutes later she was asleep.

So not all parents are bad parents. But yes definitely it is the parents fault if they let their kids continue screaming.

Irish Guitarist

Some parents just couldn't be bothered doing anything about their kids behaviour.

I once heard a loud knock at my door that just wouldn't stop. I thought there was a fire or there was something seriously wrong with someone so I went running to the front door. When I opened the door I saw a child aged about three standing there. He went running up the street to the mother who was just standing there waiting for him to finish knocking my door. :mad:

Logical Fallacy

hondasam wrote: »

That's not fair imo.

I would be interested to know how many posters here at the moment have children. It's easy say if they were mine etc etc.

Weird, do you have kids? This is the kind of line normally trotted out by parents to let the rest of the world know we don't understand there struggles.

It makes a lot more sense to ask "Anyone here every been a kid and how did your parents deal with you?"...but that wouldn't get the desired result of instantly dismissing arguments that imply *shock horror* some parents are ****ing ****.

Sesshoumaru

sesna wrote: »

Unless it's for medical treatment, or permanently moving (the family were obviously on holiday), why is it necessary to bring the child in the first place? If they are going to behave like that, just leave them at home or dont go in the first place.

Or bring in Cesar Millan so the parents learn how to discipline their kids

Seriously that's just bad parenting. I brought my daughter to Hong Kong when she was 2 and she never gave anyone any trouble on the flight over or back.

carlybabe1

hondasam wrote: »

That's not fair imo.

I would be interested to know how many posters here at the moment have children. It's easy say if they were mine etc etc.

Ive raised three kids through the terrible 2 age. My first used to throw tantrums in the shop, lying on the floor screaming at the top of her voice. I was younger then, and hated the looks people used to give me, one day i gave her a slap on the leg in the shop and i didnt care who saw me and if i got a look i just glared back (she was 3, and up to this had ruled the roost as regards going shopping etc, id wait till her dad came home from work and go on my own).
It happened maybe twice more, followed by twice more being slapped on the leg in the shop.She was a very clever baby, didnt take her long to figure out the balance of power had shifted. didnt make that mistake with second or third, if they misbehaved in the shop, sweeties went right back onto the shelf, end of.

hondasam

melb wrote: »

Should opinion on this be strictly limited to those with kids?

No but unfortunately people who do not have kids seem to think they would make perfect parents with obedient kids who never cry etc.
reality kicks in when you have them, it's not as easy as it looks.

stovelid

Trying to get kids to behave is a work in progress so people get caught out unfortunately and it really is stressful and embarrassing to know your kid is wrecking people's heads.

Should take the kid out of there if he/she is really having a meltdown as it's not fair on the other patrons.

That said, it would be great if every adult that talked bollocks/drunkenly lurched around/laughed in an overly loud pretentious fashion right next to your table for hours on end would fuck off out of the place too.

Sesshoumaru

Irish Guitarist wrote: »

Some parents just couldn't be bothered doing anything about their kids behaviour.

I once heard a loud knock at my door that just wouldn't stop. I thought there was a fire or there was something seriously wrong with someone so I went running to the front door. When I opened the door I saw a child aged about three standing there. He went running up the street to the mother who was just standing there waiting for him to finish knocking my door. :mad:

I was parked outside my daughters school waiting to pick her up when I heard a tapping noise on my car. I looked in the side mirror and say a kid tapping a stone against my car repeatedly. His mother (possibly grandmother) just standing there watching him until she noticed I was watching her. :mad:

hondasam

stovelid wrote: »

Should take the kid out of there if he/she is really having a meltdown as it's not fair on the other patrons.

That said, it would be great if every adult that talked bollocks/lurched around/laughed in an overly loud pretentious fashion right next to your table for hours on end would fuck off out of the place too.

very good point, not to mention the phone call for all to hear.

El Weirdo

stovelid wrote: »

That said, it would be great if every adult that talked bollocks/lurched around/laughed in an overly loud pretentious fashion right next to your table for hours on end would fuck off out of the place too.

Sorry, but I was very, very drunk.

Tubsandtiles

OP maybe the kid was autistic ?

melb

hondasam wrote: »

No but unfortunately people who do not have kids seem to think they would make perfect parents with obedient kids who never cry etc.
reality kicks in when you have them, it's not as easy as it looks.

Kids cry we all know that. But this kid was screaming in the restuarant and being ignored. Totally different situation.

Logical Fallacy

hondasam wrote: »

No but unfortunately people who do not have kids seem to think they would make perfect parents with obedient kids who never cry etc.
reality kicks in when you have them, it's not as easy as it looks.

And loads of people don't walk into the idea of having a child with their eyes closed either and are great parents.

I think you are wrong, a lot of people don't have the idea that they would be perfect parents, oftentimes this is why those same people don't have kids.

But it's pretty easy to reach back into your own life experience and remember how your parents dealt with younger siblings, or how your extended family treats and disciplines their kids.

dark crystal

neilthefunkeone wrote: »

Don't get me started on parents that let their little mistakes run around shops on their own..

That's a really needless comment to make.

Some of the language used to describe children on this forum is ridiculously nasty and immature. C*nts? really???

Sometimes, I have to wonder if such people realise they are being just as bratty and petulant as the kids they are slagging off....

I also wonder were all these grown adults perfectly quiet and well behaved little angels when they were very young ( although I'm sure they'll say they were).

melb

stovelid wrote: »

Trying to get kids to behave is a work in progress so people get caught out unfortunately and it really is stressful and embarrassing to know your kid is wrecking people's heads.

Should take the kid out of there if he/she is really having a meltdown as it's not fair on the other patrons.

That said, it would be great if every adult that talked bollocks/drunkenly lurched around/laughed in an overly loud pretentious fashion right next to your table for hours on end would fuck off out of the place too.

Difference is you can tell another adult to shut the hell up.

You cannot tell someones kid...

El Weirdo

hondasam wrote: »

No but unfortunately people who do not have kids seem to think they would make perfect parents with obedient kids who never cry etc.
reality kicks in when you have them, it's not as easy as it looks.

To be fair, it doesn't take a parent to know that taking the kid outside whilst he/she had a tantrum would be the right thing to do.