Over thinking it?

LegacyUser

Hey guys just looking for opinions here.

Been with my bf for about 5 years now.he has a very good job and gets paid well(we moved away for work reasons)

My issue is his drinking at the weekends. Now most guys like their pints after a hard weeks work and well to be honest ive been fine with this.

Taking this weekend and last weekend as examples. Sat nite out normal sat nite out.I get home round 5 him round 5.30, Sunday morning a friend rings to go for the cure he's gone at 11.30. I meet him for lunch round 3 hang round til bout 5/6.he is home 10 o clock.

This weekend.Friday nite home round 5.30. Last nite he's not even home yet.got a text round 2.30 saying he was going to house party. It's now 7.30 in the morn.

This is pretty average weekend. now I'm not worried that he out seeing other girls or anything like that.

The drinking is really starting to stress me out. I can't understand why he has to be out all the time. I'm so unhappy at the minute and dunno what to do.

Anybody got any advice on how to approach this with him(we've spoken about it before and it just comesmback to this after a couple weeks)

I Dunno if I'm over reacting getting upset or mad about this or to be worried. Anybody else been thinking their partner been drinking too much, what happened and how to you dealmwith the situation

Kevin Duffy

I don't think you're over-thinking it or overreacting. It that sort of pattern was consistent through most weekends, I'd have a problem and would be talking it out with my OH.
Apart from the backsliding after a few weeks, how did the last chat go? Was he receptive or resistant to what you had to say?

Azureus

You've been going out five years..Has this just been a recent enough thing or was it like that from the start?

If he changed his behaviour for a few weeks then he obviously realises he is being a bit unreasonable with his drinking. Myself and my bf have been together nearly four years, and while we both love to go out at the weekends, it wouldnt be 7.30am sessions the curers at 11.30 every week Seems a little excessive to be fair, for health reasons as well as relationship reasons.

Have you suggested alternative ways to spend your weekends? Something that doesnt involve drinking.

I had trouble with my bfs drinking (not the amount of time spent, more the amount drank and the states he got himself into) and it was just a matter of talking it out. I sat down with him when I wasnt mad (waited til I calmed down) and went through why it was bothering me/told him I wasnt going to put up with it. He sorted himself out for x amount of time then did it all again. This happened three times. The third time I got so annoyed that I stayed with friends overnight/didnt come home without speaking to him (something I never do) and talked it out for one last time with him the next day. He hasnt drank too much since. Approach it in a calm way, let him know its worrying you and that youre not being unreasonable. Personally I expect slip ups and dont get too bent out of shape if it happens, but I dont tolerate being walked over/disrespected either-if he says hes going to do something, expect him to stick to it for your sake.