Terrified of Bath/shower

hoodwinked

I need help, my daughter is 2 years old, from the day in the hospital when it was time to give her her first bath she screamed in absolute terror when put into the water, so much so the nurse even called for another nurse to give her a hand (and a second opinion) and they both decided it was in my daughters best interests to sponge her down and try again when she was old enough to sit up herself in the bath.


we did and she re-acted the same way, so we continued with sponging her down.


now she is two she is out and about and gets absolutely filthy and sponge washing her is a bit too much but she literally screams in terror clinging for her life to me when i attempt to put her anywhere near the bath or shower (we have 2 bathrooms one with a bath one with a shower) she doesn't even get near the water so its not too hot/cold...etc...

on the flip side getting her to brush her teeth or wash her hands is easy as she loves splashing around in the water, we also managed to get her into a swimming pool last year without any problems its just baths/showers.

we tried letting her splash the water in the bath but as soon as her feet left dry ground she panicked and started screaming again. we tried bringing toys into the bath, we tried getting in ourselves and bringing her with us, both her dad and i have tried this...nothing helps.

when my sister was a baby she too screamed before going into the bath but this is more terror scream then a i don't want to scream. even the nurses in the hospital saw that.

i am at my wits end i fear we waited too long before pushing the matter and i don't know what to do now, im hoping someone here can help me.

how do i get her to take a bath/shower?

Das Kitty

I would get in the bath with her, the shower could be a bit much to start with.

My lad was always good with the bath. Then about 2 months ago out of the blue he started going mental hating it, screaming like he was being stabbed. He was terrified for some reason.

I started getting into the bath with him and he started to relax and play. After a while I was able to put him in on his own and let him play away. He loves it again now.

I got one of those hair washing jugs to rinse his hair with without getting water in his eyes as well. They have them in Mothercare.

Frank Black

Didn’t really have that problem with our two but they did hate getting their hair washed.
We found that if we got some of the toys they had in the bath and got them involved in washing the toys ‘hair’ it seemed to make them realize that there was nothing to get worried about.
Could you get you little one to give one of her toys (maybe a doll or something) a ‘bath’ – perhaps if she sees that it’s something quite nice that her toy ‘enjoys’ she won’t be as worried about having a bath herself?

hoodwinked

Das Kitty wrote: »

screaming like he was being stabbed.

that is a perfect description of her screams....

Das Kitty wrote: »

I started getting into the bath with him and he started to relax and play. After a while I was able to put him in on his own and let him play away. He loves it again now.

i have tried that but she still wouldn't join me, she ran into bed and tried to go to sleep

Das Kitty wrote: »

I got one of those hair washing jugs to rinse his hair with without getting water in his eyes as well. They have them in Mothercare.

i have one of those, un-used i haven't even gotten to washing her hair properly yet, i still sponge wash it with the baby shampoo.

black francis wrote: »

Could you get you little one to give one of her toys (maybe a doll or something) a ‘bath’ – perhaps if she sees that it’s something quite nice that her toy ‘enjoys’ she won’t be as worried about having a bath herself?

that is not a bad idea i might try that...if i can get her near the bath again.


im not sure should i just endure the screams and keep her in there until she calms down or should i just calm her down and try again another time?

kalihar

Hello,

My son was the same. I used to literally dip him in and out just so he wouldn't get a sore backside. The thing that cured it was a trip to the beach. That evening I was preparing myself for a battle to get him in but he loved the bath from that day on. The sea somehow took away the fear.

My daughter went through the same thing but for her we stuck a bubble machine to the far side of the bath and she couldn't wait to get in (bubbles did not work for my son).

Kids

LostinKildare

hoodwinked wrote: »

. . . she loves splashing around in the water, we also managed to get her into a swimming pool last year without any problems its just baths/showers.

Don't know if you mean a large, built swimming pool or an inflatable paddling pool, but in any case ---- would she accept an inflatable kiddie pool? The weather's supposed to be nice -- could you get a pool decorated to her liking (pink or cartoon characters or whatever), get her excited to play in it, then once she's splashing around, surreptitiously wash while you're playing? Do that a couple of times, and put a plastic laundry basket/tub
like this: http://www.ikea.com/ie/en/catalog/products/66696910
outside beside the pool. One day the pool is mysteriously deflated so you have the use the laundry basket instead, still outside, right beside the deflated pool.
After a while, on a rainy day, her "pool" is moved inside the kitchen. Then eventually into the bathroom. Etc.

Lahm

Das Kitty wrote: »

I would get in the bath with her.

I started getting into the bath with him and play.

Is that allowed?

Fittle

Lahm wrote: »

Is that allowed?

That's a bit of a silly question

My 9 year old STILL hates showers and the feeling of getting his hair washed (water going over his face). I've bought every fiddly thing I can think of, to avoid the water going over his face, but none of them worked. He would have 10 baths a day if I let him..but still hates a shower !

I like the suggestion of a paddling pool out the back garden for her to play in while the weather is warm - is that something you can do for her? Get her toys for this experience, and rather than even sticking with the paddling pool..gradually introduce the same toys into the bath... I would however, try and try again to get her into the bath with you...

reeta

Lahm wrote: »

Is that allowed?

What do you mean ?????

hoodwinked

Fittle wrote: »

That's a bit of a silly question

My 9 year old STILL hates showers and the feeling of getting his hair washed (water going over his face). I've bought every fiddly thing I can think of, to avoid the water going over his face, but none of them worked. He would have 10 baths a day if I let him..but still hates a shower !

I like the suggestion of a paddling pool out the back garden for her to play in while the weather is warm - is that something you can do for her? Get her toys for this experience, and rather than even sticking with the paddling pool..gradually introduce the same toys into the bath... I would however, try and try again to get her into the bath with you...

we live in an apartment so not that easy to do the paddling pool although its a great idea,

i just (again) tried to get her to hop into the bath with me she wouldn't come near the bathroom without screaming.

i started by running the bath, once she heard the water running she grabbed her teddy and dummy and sat into my bed watching mickey mouse.

i tried getting her to understand we were washing dolly not her but she wouldn't even entertain the idea, so i brought her in showed her dolly in the bath and she ran screaming back to the bed, so then i trie mummy is having a bath and asking her to come too, no such luck, even pluto in the mickey mouse episode was having a bath so i tried 'look pluto is having a bubble bath too' didn't work,


i tried blowing bubbles and got her as far as the hall before she realised what i was doing and ran back to bed...

she is a stubborn one.:(


EDIT: i also tried bribing with an ice cream. its her favourate treat and gets her to do ANYTHING we want when we are desperate enough to resort to bribery, didn't work!

Jaden

Fittle wrote: »

That's a bit of a silly question

My 9 year old STILL hates showers and the feeling of getting his hair washed (water going over his face). I've bought every fiddly thing I can think of, to avoid the water going over his face, but none of them worked. He would have 10 baths a day if I let him..but still hates a shower !

I like the suggestion of a paddling pool out the back garden for her to play in while the weather is warm - is that something you can do for her? Get her toys for this experience, and rather than even sticking with the paddling pool..gradually introduce the same toys into the bath... I would however, try and try again to get her into the bath with you...

Get kids goggles. Sorted.

willow tree

aw the poor little thing.. i wouldnt push it too much if you think shes being really traumatised.. maybe if she likes water play can you get her clean whilst doing water play or is that possible? other than that i would try to bring favourite thing into bath with you and tell her you are really enjoying the bath,' its soo lovely' (but not pushing her to get in)..maybe her skin is just very sensitive?

Lahm

reeta wrote: »

What do you mean ?????

Having baths together. Would you wear a swimsuit?

Wantobe

You could get her a baby sister to go in the bath with her- might distract her!:p

Only joking- but our eldest was the same- I remember one summer holiday she had started crawling and between the dirt from the ground and the suntan factor 50..well lets just say she needed baths more than ever- the screams from the bathroom were unbelieveable. But then we had another baby girl and from the minute she saw her sister in the bath, it was fine. Now the two of them still share baths and the fun that goes on...

Now if you don't want to have a baby just to solve the bath problem...how about 'borrowing' a cousin or a friend? If she sees a little friend or cousin enjoying a bath she might want to get in too.

hoodwinked

Wantobe wrote: »

You could get her a baby sister to go in the bath with her- might distract her!:p

Only joking- but our eldest was the same- I remember one summer holiday she had started crawling and between the dirt from the ground and the suntan factor 50..well lets just say she needed baths more than ever- the screams from the bathroom were unbelieveable. But then we had another baby girl and from the minute she saw her sister in the bath, it was fine. Now the two of them still share baths and the fun that goes on...

Now if you don't want to have a baby just to solve the bath problem...how about 'borrowing' a cousin or a friend? If she sees a little friend or cousin enjoying a bath she might want to get in too.

again we are in trouble she's the only grandchild on both sides and probably will be for a long time to come, also she will be an only child, we don't have a choice on that matter.

Friend wise there are no children her age where we live, the only place she meets other children her age at the moment is in the park...

willow tree

thats a great idea from wantobe, they love to copy older siblings/cousins..

hoodwinked

willow tree wrote: »

thats a great idea from wantobe, they love to copy older siblings/cousins..

yeah it is, i think its not being able to do these great ideas is making this a bit harder for us, hence why im posting here desperate for help, she needs to be washed at the very least once a week...

Frank Black

Would she play in the bath if there was no water in it? - just to get used to the bath itself.
We have a detachable shower head that our little one loves to mess with when washing hair - although it does get a bit messy- would maybe allowing her to play with the shower head in the bath work and after a while put the plug in the bath so it becomes a gradual thing.

LadyMayBelle

I really feel your little lady has been very traumatised by her early experiences in the hospital; even tho she didn’t end up getting a bath, it must have been terrifying to not know what’s happening .
Great to get into the tub with her and of course it’s allowed (I don’t understand some people; it’s perfectly natural and skin to skin contact is so powerful). You’ve said you already do that, cool.
It sounds like she doesn’t mind water as such,,she goes swimming, likes playing about with water etc. Continue with that, and why not try getting her familiar with the tub, without the water in it? Chuck in a few toys, some washable crayons, bubbles , empty containers (don’t overdo it at first!) and have her get accustomed to an empty tub. This may take days, weeks but gradually add a little water..even help her be in control with a jug of warm water, try her while she’s just in her nappy as well.. maybe you can start to eliminate the fear of the ‘tub’ and introduce water.
The other thing I thought of which I am sure you are doing, is keep the mood relaxed..some nice music that she can associate with playing in the tub, that will be used when water is added and eventually when she has a full blown bath.

*I know for me as a kid I HATED the sound of the taps, I liked baths but the noise freaked me out so my Mam would always run it while I was out of earshot.

January

Lahm wrote: »

Is that allowed?

Of course it's allowed... there's nothing sinister about taking a bath with your child... I wouldn't wear a swimsuit if I was in the bath with my girls...

Lahm

January wrote: »

Of course it's allowed... there's nothing sinister about taking a bath with your child... I wouldn't wear a swimsuit if I was in the bath with my girls...

OK. They could be curious about the hair and stuff.

January

Lahm wrote: »

OK. They could be curious about the hair and stuff.

They could be, but you don't hide stuff from your children... if my daughter asked why I had hair and she didn't I'd just explain that it's because I was older and when you get older your body changes and you can grow hair in different places... no need to go into the specifics when they're that young, but no need to hide it from them either.

CrazyRabbit

Fittle wrote: »

That's a bit of a silly question

My 9 year old STILL hates showers and the feeling of getting his hair washed (water going over his face). I've bought every fiddly thing I can think of, to avoid the water going over his face, but none of them worked. He would have 10 baths a day if I let him..but still hates a shower !

I like the suggestion of a paddling pool out the back garden for her to play in while the weather is warm - is that something you can do for her? Get her toys for this experience, and rather than even sticking with the paddling pool..gradually introduce the same toys into the bath... I would however, try and try again to get her into the bath with you...

I also hate the water running over my face in the shower. So I move the shower head lower so that it hits me from the neck down only. I then wash my hair/face/ears etc separately. Easy solution.

Lahm wrote: »

Is that allowed?

You've been brainwashed by the media into thinking that a child seeing a naked adult will be traumatised for life and that it's some form of sexual abuse. Nudity is not sexual in itself.

As for the OP's issue. Perhaps it's the sound of the water from the taps? It can be quite loud and scary for a young child. I'd suggest giving these 'sponge baths' while she sits in a empty bath. Put the stopper in, and give her bottles of water/cups filled with water etc to play with. As she plays with them, the water will end up in the bath (a small amount), but it will perhaps get her used to it.

Of course, it could just all be an attention seeking exercise.

hoodwinked

maybe im not sure it is the sound of the taps though, she won't go anywhere near the shower either,


if i could get her to do either one it would be brilliant....

upinthesky

what i would do is try put her in without any water

if she goes in the pool and likes washing her hands it might not be the water it could be the bath its self

put her sitting in it with her clothes on and some toys

i know it sounds silly but its just getting to the bottom of the problem and then it can be sorted

try this every day if she wont get in id let her stand at the bath and play with the toys ever now and then

then id gradually add water see if that works

_ariadne

what can help a lot with children's phobias is to explore them in a safe environment, for example with a book. I cant think of any good ones off the top of my head but maybe you could get a book about bathtime, with lots of pictures etc and use this as a way to help your daughter ease her fears of the bath. doing this perhaps once a week and then tring the bath again in a month or so might be a less stressful experience for her. I wuld also encourage the swimming as much as possible, take her every week, let her splash around on her own in shallow water/on steps, let her jump in to your arms, let her see the other children in the showers etc. all of this should really help.

meg3178

My eldest (now 19!), was a prem baby and also had a fear of the bath until she was about four. You haven't done anything to increase her fear, its just something thats with her and will eventually go. In the meantime avoid the bath, instead place towels on the kitchen worktop and have her sit up on them, just putting her feet in the sink, then stand her up and get her to help with washing. Rinse her off with the jug and get her used to using the jug too. Over the next two weeks eventually get her to sit in the sink, then progress to a baby bath on the floor. As time goes on move the baby bath into the bathroom and then into the big bath, don't rush this, you'll know when she's confident enough and ask her to help you put the water and bubble bath into it. Give her loads of praise (Which I'm sure you do) and don't speak about the bath to anyone when she's in earshot, or she may become nervous and afraid again.
Use the baby bath to help her wash her dolls and act out a bathtime routine with the dolls, that she becomes so comfortable with she won't be so anxious of the water. To us a bath is comfortable and we are in control of being able to get in and out of it, however, to her she needs help and a big white bath can be terrifying. This phase will pass given time. Feel free to PM, if you want.