How to break up...

Semele

Stressed about this so would appreciate replies asap!

Background: I was seeing a guy last summer for four months. Two months in he got a job offer in another country, felt he couldn't refuse so left for six months. He has just come back and I've seen him three times since. The first two times were drinks with a group of mutual friends and last night was a proper date, after which I went back to his.

The idea had been that we would leave things as they were while he was away (due to where he was going, contact was minimal, always via email and visiting wasn't an option) and pick up again if neither of us had met anyone else. I really liked him, hadn't met anyone and in fact was totally on for the idea of waiting at first. However, now he's back there's just no spark on my side! I tend to overthink things anyway so was just going to take it slowly and see, but after last night I can't ignore the fact that it's just not there for me anymore. I think he's picked up on a bit of weirdness/coldness from me but we're getting on great otherwise and the conversation never stopped so I feel really bad about it!

I am meant to be going to see a play with him tonight, after which I'm sure he'll expect me to go back to his again. I need to tell him before it gets to that point, but do I text and give him the option of still going to the play as friends (he's at an important family event all day so don't want to call and interrupt. Also we never chat on the phone anyway) or go and speak to him in person there? I feel the latter would be unfair without a heads-up first.

Now, while I'm sure he isn't all that emotionally involved either, he was the one making all the moves so obviously things are ok from his point of view, plus we've been writing long emails for the past 6 months so there has been a decent bit of investment. I've never broken up with anyone before but feel this needs to be stopped before it starts again and the potential for hurt is greater.

How do I do this? I know he had quite mixed feelings about going travelling anyway so don't want to make him regret it by doing a "It's just not the same anymore" guilt-trip. I don't understand this- I knew he wasn't my type but really fancied him initially and don't know where thats gone! I would have loved if things had been perfect when he got back.

Alter-Ego

Personally, I'd go to the play with him and when the opportunity comes up later on in the evening just say things aren't working out. Its not really a "Break Up" though...