How do you juggle childcare over summer?

Fittle

Just wondering how you all juggle childcare over the summer holidays?

I'm a single mum and working f/t. My son is 9 now, and I'm feeling incredibly guilty that this summer he will have to get up at 8am to be brought somewhere so that I can get to work:( I don't think it's bothered me so much in the past, because he was younger...but he's just started to appreciate that odd lie-on at the weekends...loves watching cartoons in his pjs early morning etc. It's killing me that even though he's very excited about summer hols, he'll be up at the crack of dawn and dropped somewhere...

This year, over the 8 weeks of his holidays, I'll take one full week off and will juggle about 10 days annual leave over half days. My job are quite flexible (luckily) so I can have him in summer camps and take half days and collect him for about 2 weeks (only using up 5 days a/l in that time..)....He loves his normal childminder and has great friends there, but unfortunately she works p/t herself and so is not available to me over the summer...

Just wondering what the rest of you do and how I can avoid this guilty feeling this year...I'm dreading when he hits secondary school but is still too young to be left home alone during the hols...:(

ash23

I feel your pain but sadly have no answers for you. I looked into childcare in my own home for my 8 year old this summer but the prices I was being quoted were extortionate. I am also a single parent.

Like you, I'm planning on using the majority of my annual leave, perhaps do a month of half days and she'll have one full day in creche. Then I can take a week off. but it still means that 1 day a week she'll be in creche for one month of her holiday and up every morning to go to creche and then full time creche the next month.
It's the best I can do

I also find childcare for older children very lacking, even in her creche the focus is on the younger kids and the older ones get left doing childish activities. She gets so bored in there over summer.

metrovelvet

I smell a business opportunity for someone to start an Irish sleep away camp.

ash23

metrovelvet wrote: »

I smell a business opportunity for someone to start an Irish sleep away camp.

Not sure that'd work. For one thing, cost. Another, not many parents would want to go a whole week without seeing their young children. Just had a look online and the youngest age for a residential Galetacht course I could find is 10 and it's €890 for 3 weeks.

reeta

Fittle wrote: »

Just wondering how you all juggle childcare over the summer holidays?

I'm a single mum and working f/t. My son is 9 now, and I'm feeling incredibly guilty that this summer he will have to get up at 8am to be brought somewhere so that I can get to work:( I don't think it's bothered me so much in the past, because he was younger...but he's just started to appreciate that odd lie-on at the weekends...loves watching cartoons in his pjs early morning etc. It's killing me that even though he's very excited about summer hols, he'll be up at the crack of dawn and dropped somewhere...

This year, over the 8 weeks of his holidays, I'll take one full week off and will juggle about 10 days annual leave over half days. My job are quite flexible (luckily) so I can have him in summer camps and take half days and collect him for about 2 weeks (only using up 5 days a/l in that time..)....He loves his normal childminder and has great friends there, but unfortunately she works p/t herself and so is not available to me over the summer...

Just wondering what the rest of you do and how I can avoid this guilty feeling this year...I'm dreading when he hits secondary school but is still too young to be left home alone during the hols...:(

Is there any chance you could bring in a babysitter, there are plenty of older teenagers who cant get a job more than willing to babysit. Your normal child minder will understand if you dont need her for the Summer.I know exactly how you feel as have been there myself, hated having to get my kids out of bed to sit in someone elses house. Thankfully now both now in their late teens so no more worries about getting them minded. good luck

Fittle

I don't know of any babysitters to be honest - and I'd probably have to pay them double for coming to my home.. His friends on our road are in the same situation as him, so even if I could keep him at his own house all summer, he would have no friends to play with as they would also be in their childminders etc. Perhaps I'm over-thinking it...
But I've noticed, probably since christmas, that he wants to 'chill-out' at the weekends (he watches too much american tv;)), staying in bed a bit later, reading his book or watching tv...sometimes he doesn't come downstairs till about 10...this, from a child who woke up and got up, at 7am for the previous 9 years!!!!!
He never complains about me going to work...loves going to the minders after school etc...so it's not even him, it's me just feeling so guilty...and of course, there's the cost of the extra summer camps!

Fittle

reeta wrote: »

Thankfully now both now in their late teens so no more worries about getting them minded. good luck

Can I ask what you did during summers/easter when they hit that age of being too old to have a childminder anymore (about 13/14 maybe?)...I dread the days I have to leave him home alone all summer!

Morag

There are summer camps and summer projects and voluntary work he can be doing to be kept busy over the summer.

Fittle

Sharrow wrote: »

There are summer camps and summer projects and voluntary work he can be doing to be kept busy over the summer.

What voluntary work can 9yr olds do

Morag

Not 9 but when he is older.

Fittle

Oh right! Thanks.

ash23

Sharrow wrote: »

There are summer camps and summer projects and voluntary work he can be doing to be kept busy over the summer.

Someone still has to bring them to all these things though. It's very hard to organise drop off and collection to summercamps which start at half 9 and end at 1pm when you're working 9 to 5. You still have to pay the minder and then pay for the camp too.

Edit - Sorry. You meant teenagers

metrovelvet

ash23 wrote: »

Not sure that'd work. For one thing, cost. Another, not many parents would want to go a whole week without seeing their young children. Just had a look online and the youngest age for a residential Galetacht course I could find is 10 and it's €890 for 3 weeks.

Very popular in the US for that age group. Can go home at weekends if they want.

But true....they aint cheap.

Cat Melodeon

My 15-year old cousin babysits for me the odd day I get work during the summer (the days when my son isn't in creche). Her mum drops her off at my house at 8.30 on her way to work, and they hate taking money off me. The most I can get her to take is about €5 an hour. I feel quite bad about it as I don't want to be exploiting anyone, but at the same time, I don't earn a lot and couldn't afford to work otherwise. I got her concert tickets for her birthday and the odd treat here and there to make up for it and she seems happy enough.

Fittle, you need to make friends with your son's friends' older siblings! There must be a responsible teen among them somewhere, and for daytime work they really don't expect a lot, even if it's in your home rather than theirs. Looking after a 9-year old would be a doddle anyway, they really just need supervision rather than entertainment from that age.

Fittle

I'd rather not send him away anyway - I'd actually rather spend more time with him:D I'll admit I wasn't saying that when he was a toddler however;)

Daisy M

Fittle and ash I think ye need to stop beating yourselves up too much about this, us moms are terrible for feeling guilty when it comes to our kids. Ye are going out to work to provide for yer kids and give them the best possible unbringing that you can:). Lets just say ye werent working and were at home with them full time you would just replace one set of guilt for another, more than likely money would be extremely tight and ye would feel bad about not been able to allow the kids to go to all the camps their friends are attending, ye would probably think that they were spending too much time in the compant of mum!!! I am a stay at home mum recently returned to very part time work, I am lucky that this fits in around my husbands work and yet I still feel guilty:eek: but the reason I am working is to make life a little easier financially and also the hours and the job suit me.:) I cant really picture just how hard it must be for you girls parenting alone but it sounds as if ye are doing a great job and your children are your main priority so give yourselves a pat on the back, and put the guilt aside. Best of luck over the summer!

Fittle

Cat Melodeon wrote: »

Fittle, you need to make friends with your son's friends' older siblings! There must be a responsible teen among them somewhere, and for daytime work they really don't expect a lot, even if it's in your home rather than theirs. Looking after a 9-year old would be a doddle anyway, they really just need supervision rather than entertainment from that age.

I agree...however, my son's friend's older siblings are minding their own younger siblings!!!! There is no one on our road (my son is one of the oldest kids on our roads - it's a new estate) either...aw, no doubt, I'll look back on it in September having coped with another long summer...I just feel a bit sorry for him that he has to get dragged out of bed on his summer holidays...:(

ash23

Fittle wrote: »

I agree...however, my son's friend's older siblings are minding their own younger siblings!!!! There is no one on our road (my son is one of the oldest kids on our roads - it's a new estate) either...aw, no doubt, I'll look back on it in September having coped with another long summer...I just feel a bit sorry for him that he has to get dragged out of bed on his summer holidays...:(

I know what you mean fittle, I feel like she gets no real summer holiday as we're up at 7am all year around. She never gets to just laze around all summer.

It's not so much that I feel constantly guilty. I do what I have to do. But it just seems a tad unfair for them and it's stressful trying to figure out the best option for everyone.

Last year wasn't too bad, a friend of mine looked after her so she was with other kids her age. Plus, between my parents and my holidays, she was probably only 4 weeks out of 8 in childcare. She'd love to be at home in her own house though (and never passes up an opportunity to tell me that!) lol. And it streches ahead of me for the next 5 or 6 years, every summer, the same issue.
I "hired" a college student last year initially and she texted me the day before she was to start, saying she'd gotten another job leaving me totally in the lurch. I'm wary of getting another summer student now because of that.

Acoshla

Just to reply from the other side of this, I went to my childminder's all over the summer holidays from 5 to 12 years old, I was up at 8, there for about 8.45am, and my childminder's kids would stay in bed until maybe 11am, so I would sit on my own watching tv until they did because A. I was still half asleep so tv with curtains closed was nice and cosy and B. I hated her children so the longer I avoided them the better. Mom would send me off with some homemade cookies and I'd have one at about 10.30am, just because

I actually completely hated my childminder and her children, but I hated her no more during the summer than I did the rest of the time, it never once occurred to me that there was an option other than being there, so I wasn't upset at Mom or anything. I dreaded going there the same way you dread going into work some days but if I ever whinged I was basically told to suck it up because nothing could be done about it so no point complaining. On sunny days I used to spend about 8 hours outside with other local kids which was great because I'm an only child and there were no other kids in my own estate so it was brilliant to have that in my childminders.

But yeah, my roundabout point is don't feel bad about it, you're doing what is best for your son. Honestly it never even occurred to me that I should be upset with the set up, it was just the way it was, I got lie ins on Sunday mornings and always had lovely Saturdays with my Mom

Fittle

Did you tell your mam you hated the childminder? I'm forever checking with my lad that he's happy where he is (we had a few mishaps in the early days of childminders - had to change a few times, but he's settled with this one now for over 2yrs)...She has a kid his age and they play football all day, so he never complains...

Acoshla

Fittle wrote: »

Did you tell your mam you hated the childminder? I'm forever checking with my lad that he's happy where he is (we had a few mishaps in the early days of childminders - had to change a few times, but he's settled with this one now for over 2yrs)...She has a kid his age and they play football all day, so he never complains...

Am, yes, apparently I was quite vocal in my hatred of her, but to be fair her children used to take my lunch that my mother provided and used to blame me for everything they broke etc. My aunt told me before that I broke my mother's heart complaining about how much I hated it for the first while, but Mom knew that I was well looked after there (fed, supervised, socialised, etc!) and that she could afford it so for the most part she ignored me because there was no better option. My childminder had a daughter the same age and with the same name as me so we were quite close for a few years, it was fun then.

...I actually left there one day when I was 12, things had gone seriously downhill and I was miserable, I did the 30 minute walk to where my Mom worked on my own (childminder was out shopping with her daughter while I was told to watch her son) and I begged my mother not to make me go back there, which she didn't, so if he's unhappy he'll let you know!

Wantobe

You could use an au-pair for the summer. Quite a few college students in Spain/France/Germany like to come during the summer months to learn english. They don't work full-time but it would be a way of allowing your child to laze around a bit in the mornings, play in his own garden and house.

We use an au pair all year round ( I work part-time and my children are in school) and I find it great during the holidays for exactly the reasons you mentioned- ie they can lounge around a bit in the mornings in pyjamas, play with their friends in the neighbouring houses etc.

You could combine an au-pair with the childminder or creche part-time or with summer camps.

Fittle

Thanks.

I'm not sure I'd like to idea of him having to get to know a stranger over the next few weeks who he'd feel comfortable enough with in his own home...anyway, cost is also a factor and I couldn't afford an au pair, summer camps and the minder...Like I said, I'm sure I'll manage and he'll also be fine and I'm probably over-thinking it...

deisemum

Fittle does your son want to do all the extra summer camps?

Has he any friends in the same situation that require childcare for the summer? If so if you and another parent shared a minder such as a teenager and didn't bother with all of the summer camps then it may be an option that need not cost a lot. The cost of a teenage minder especially if shared with another family shouldn't be a lot.

Fittle

deisemum wrote: »

Fittle does your son want to do all the extra summer camps?

Has he any friends in the same situation that require childcare for the summer? If so if you and another parent shared a minder such as a teenager and didn't bother with all of the summer camps then it may be an option that need not cost a lot. The cost of a teenage minder especially if shared with another family shouldn't be a lot.

He loves the summer camps actually - once they involve football!! There's one local enough thats 45pw, so I'll let him go there for 2wks, (that's football/sports only) and there's another one (a more mixed one, that includes days out etc) that's 95pw. So it will be 3 weeks of camps, one week where I'm off and we go to a caravan down the country (cheapest holiday ever!) and the other 4 weeks I'll juggle with my old childminder and other friends. I genuinely don't know any teenagers - all of my friends childrens kids are my own sons age or younger - theres the odd acquaintance who has a 15yr old, but as I said earlier, they will be minding their own younger siblings.
I'm the youngest of a large family - my nieces/nephews are from 20 upwards - anyhow, family haven't never been people I've relied on for childcare over the years.

I guess I've juggled this summer holiday lark for the past four years now, and I'll manage it again this year-this is the first year however, that he wants to stay in bed later, wants to be in his own home....

ash23

Think I've sorted this one for this year! Taking my holidays spaced out over the 8 weeks school holidays so I'll only be working 2 to 3 days a week (think there's one week I've to work 4 days) and look for a teenager to do the days I am working. Creche have indicated there will be no problem dropping her in to them if I'm stuck any day. I wasn't comfortable with a young girl having to do 5 full days (as I work fairly long hours) but would be ok with 2 or 3 so a teenager is an option for me now.

Hopefully this solution works for us!

danois

I wonder if you could team up with another mum in the estate. My friend has 10 year old and was dreading summer but now she is going halfs on childcare with another mum on the street. Childminder takes both boys aged 10 one week in each house kids r home and happy and costs a bit less too.

galah

it's not going to affect us for a long while yet, but are the school holidays still going on for 3 months? Would it make sense to start petitioning the government/education boards to reduce those holidays to a more appropriate 6 - 8 weeks, as in the rest of the EU? I think this would solve an awful lot of problems...And probably save the state a package by increasing throughput, stuff covered in leassons, etc etc (probably not a very popular comment, but still).

why do kids need 3 months off during summer? And don't tell me the farmers need their kids for work during the summer - how many kids are actually affected by this?

deisemum

galah wrote: »

it's not going to affect us for a long while yet, but are the school holidays still going on for 3 months? Would it make sense to start petitioning the government/education boards to reduce those holidays to a more appropriate 6 - 8 weeks, as in the rest of the EU? I think this would solve an awful lot of problems...And probably save the state a package by increasing throughput, stuff covered in leassons, etc etc (probably not a very popular comment, but still).

why do kids need 3 months off during summer? And don't tell me the farmers need their kids for work during the summer - how many kids are actually affected by this?

It's 2 months off for primary and 3 months for non exam classes in secondary. As a parent I wouldn't want the summer holidays shortened.

galah

but how do you deal with childcare during those months as a single parent or with relatively low incomes? Not everyone has a job that is this flexible and let's you work part-time or give you generous amounts of holidays, and in a lot of families, both partners have to work, and may not have the money it costs to accommodate their kids for 3 months - or have family that could help out...

reducing the holidays by a month would make a difference to a lot of families I am sure. And I think kids will be resting enough during say 8 weeks, you don't need 12...(we only had 6 weeks off for summer holidays, and survived...).

Lee1982

im lucky i work in a primary school so i get the summer off to spend with my little boy

DieNonne

galah wrote: »

Would it make sense to start petitioning the government/education boards to reduce those holidays to a more appropriate 6 - 8 weeks

Seriously, you move to Ireland and expect to have the same laws/regulations as in Germany!

I know the school holidays are a pain for parents but you can't expect things abroad to be the same as in your home country, if you're looking for German rules and regulations, go back to Germany - sorry for sounding harsh, but Ireland isn't Germany (and other EU countries have just as long holidays too)

Also, the school day in Ireland is longer than in Germany, so even if they did shorten the school holidays, they would have to shorten the school day as well, meaning while the childcare issue is still a problem in Summer, albeit a shorter problem, it becomes a daily problem on top of that because the children finish school earlier.

The only real solution would be to make childcare more affordable, shortening the length of Summer holiday won't change a thing

galah

DieNonne wrote: »

Seriously, you move to Ireland and expect to have the same laws/regulations as in Germany!

I know the school holidays are a pain for parents but you can't expect things abroad to be the same as in your home country, if you're looking for German rules and regulations, go back to Germany - sorry for sounding harsh, but Ireland isn't Germany (and other EU countries have just as long holidays too)

Also, the school day in Ireland is longer than in Germany, so even if they did shorten the school holidays, they would have to shorten the school day as well, meaning while the childcare issue is still a problem in Summer, albeit a shorter problem, it becomes a daily problem on top of that because the children finish school earlier.

The only real solution would be to make childcare more affordable, shortening the length of Summer holiday won't change a thing

I am not expecting anything, and certainly would not want the same rules than Germany, I am wondering if it would help since I don't see the point in such long holidays - I know a lot of people for whom 3 months holidays are a problem because their employers aren't flexible, because it is really expensive to have full-time care for kids and so on, and sometimes it does help to look across the borders to see how other countries do it.
The Germans (used to) have 13 years of school, which is also too long - however, if you could take the best bits from both systems, you may get close to a system that works for everyone.

Bringing down childcare cost would be vey high on my agenda, too.

Telling me to move back to Germany, however, is completely uncalled for.

deisemum

I like the holidays as they are and wouldn't like to see them shortened.

DieNonne

galah wrote: »

I am not expecting anything,

No?

You want to petition the government to reduce the holidays so they are the same as in Germany or other EU countries, that's what I call expecting something.

The Germans (used to) have 13 years of school

They still do, only the Abitur cycle has been reduced to 12 years for "Gymnasien" only

Telling me to move back to Germany, however, is completely uncalled for.

Not when you always go on about how bad Ireland is / how great Germany is - Germany is far from being paradise too

But that's not the topic here, the government need to make childcare more affordable - simple as.

galah

where do I *always* go on about how great Germany is? Did I ever say that Germany was a paradise? Don't think so. If Germany were so great, I certainly wouldn't be here anymore...Don't bash the foreigners ( I assume you're one yourself though) just because they dare to question the status quo (after having lived here and paid taxes here long enough).

And what ARE the arguments for 3 months holidays, pray tell?

That childcare is extremely expensive here is no secret, and would need to be changed - but how would you do that? Lower the minimum wage? -> the whole country up in arms. Lower insurance premiums -> feasible, certainly, but not in this litigious society where a lot of people see suing others as a way to get rich quick. Lower standards of care? wouldn't like to see that for my children.

something needs to be done, might as well look at all the options and angles...

ash23

I don't see the problem with someone saying they'd prefer shorter holidays. I find by the end of the 8 weeks my daughter is bored and missing school. She loves school though. 6 weeks would be more than enough for her. But every child is different.

The 3 months and childcare thing isn't really an issue as the 3 months is only when they are in second level so they'd be 12 or 13 upwards at that stage so it would only be for a couple of years that childcare would be needed.

Babyblessed

I have to say I used to love the long summer holidays but now I am trying to get back to work its a worry. I have older kids but then they are working so cant help with their little brother. My 13yo has been off a month and is bored already, its his 1st year in 2ndry. My 6yo breaks for the summer next week and even this evening he complained he was bored.... IF I get work I will work it round OH work, my older kids work and occasionally the 13yo will have to take up the slack with support from my mother who lives next door but wont help out.
Next summer I will be in full-time work (internship) but minimal pay. I am dreading it as I simply wont be able to afford it.

I have to say, 13 weeks summer hols is difficult for working parents AND the kids. Its also hard if money is tight. I will be sat indoors (dependant on weather) playing games/watching tv this year. I experienced 6 week summer breaks in the UK and it was awful, the minute they started we were uniform shopping; no real break. SO I see it from many perspectives.

I cant remember who said school days would need to be shortened to contend with shorter summer hols but I dont see this argument. For instance in the UK they are in school from Sept-July and get more or lees the same other hols as us here. They are in school (even primary) from 8.50-15.30 (ish).

Like I say, its hard to make a decision whats 'best' either way, all I know is another 3 weeks and my 13yo will be desperate to go back to school!

namurt

Galah, you seem to be choosing to ignore the fact that others have explained that it is 2 months and not 3 months for summer holidays in primary school. The 3 months holidays are in secondary school and by then most kids should be able to look after themselves.

ash23

namurt wrote: »

Galah, you seem to be choosing to ignore the fact that others have explained that it is 2 months and not 3 months for summer holidays in primary school. The 3 months holidays are in secondary school and by then most kids should be able to look after themselves.

I have to say, I wouldn't be happy about leaving a first or second year student home alone all day for 3 months. The thoughts of my child being in 2nd level fills me with dread because at 12,13 or 14 I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving her here on her own from 8 to 6, 5 days a week while I work but she'd be a bit old for childcare too so not sure what we'll do.

Fittle did you get anything sorted for summer?

#15

galah wrote: »

it's not going to affect us for a long while yet, but are the school holidays still going on for 3 months? Would it make sense to start petitioning the government/education boards to reduce those holidays to a more appropriate 6 - 8 weeks, as in the rest of the EU?

galah wrote: »

reducing the holidays by a month would make a difference to a lot of families I am sure. And I think kids will be resting enough during say 8 weeks, you don't need 12...(we only had 6 weeks off for summer holidays, and survived...).

galah wrote: »

I know a lot of people for whom 3 months holidays are a problem

Why are you persisting with this line of argument? You've already been told that the summer holidays are 2 months, not 3.
Same as in most other EU countries.

Seeing as you're interested in the comparison with Germany, Irish primary schoolchildren have about 100 extra hours of teaching time than German children. That's about 20 schooldays. I wouldn't keep pushing the comparisons with Germany, otherwise we'll have to lobby the govt to knock off 100 hours from the Irish school calendar.;)

Germany is a great country btw, I'm not criticising it. :cool:

galah

ok, I was under the impression that secondary school started at 10, not 12. so apologies for persisting...Fair enough - although, as someone here said, that would still leave you with a few years of leaving your young teenagers home alone for the entire summer...:eek:

don't get me wrong though - I like the Irish system - you start much earlier, have longer school days, and finish school much earlier than the Germans - there's a lot to be said for that! (I was the youngest student in my university course in Germany, however, when I came to Ireland for my erasmus year, I was one of the oldest in most of my classes...)

let's move on to discussing the cost of childcare then...how can we get the government to change all this so people (women, mainly, I guess) can actually 'afford' to go out to work (especially if you have more than 1 child under the age of 4)?