What exactly does "gay friendly" mean?

mydearwatson

Bit of a stupid question perhaps!

I'm looking for a houseshare at the moment. In many of the ads on Daft, the advertiser says that potential applicants must be "gay friendly".

I've e-mailed quite a few of these advertisers to say I'm interested in viewing the rooms, and not a single one has gotten back to me! I don't think it's just me, because pretty much everyone else I've gotten in touch with has replied to arrange a viewing.

I also noticed in these ads they often say that they're looking for someone with a "similar lifestyle". But I was interpreting that literally - i.e. someone that shares the same interests, sports or music or whatever they've said in their ad. But does it actually mean that they're looking specifically for another gay person?

Just curious!

(By the way, I'm straight but have lived with gay people before, the fact that someone is gay would be a non-issue for me really.)

Victor

I would suspect that one of the residents is gay and that they are fore-warning any potential new tenants of this so as to not cause confusion or upset.

I imagine if you mention that you noted that part of the as and are cool with it, you would get more answers.

deirdre_dub

As Victor says, it most likely means that one (or more) of the tenants are gay.

mydearwatson wrote: »

I also noticed in these ads they often say that they're looking for someone with a "similar lifestyle". But I was interpreting that literally - i.e. someone that shares the same interests, sports or music or whatever they've said in their ad. But does it actually mean that they're looking specifically for another gay person?

It quite possibly means that they believe they need to share with another gay person (maybe because of past bad experience of sharing with a straight person). It also quite possibly means that you can expect the gay tenants to have their lovers around from time to time, and that they expect those lovers to be extended the same privileges straight lovers would have.

If you said in your response -

I'm straight but have lived with gay people before, the fact that someone is gay would be a non-issue for me really.

- that should be enough!

baby and crumble

Pretty much what Deirdre said. I know from my experience it's something I was sure to mention when I was moving in somewhere or was interviewing people to take a room where I was. There's nothing worse than feeling you can't be yourself in your home! SO just say what you've said here and you should be fine.

Icepick

Gay friendly?
I doubt they also use black friendly...

strandroad

I presume they want to weed out Stormfront types who might get abusive when they see two men holding hands, not to mention staying overnight. Just mention that you're OK with this requirement and that's all.

mydearwatson

Cool, thanks for the advice.

I dunno, I suppose I just feel a bit ridiculous having to explicitly say that I'm OK with someone being gay. It sort of seems like saying to someone, "Oh it's OK that you wear glasses, I can accept that and I'll still live with you!" Maybe that's a stupid analogy! So I haven't mentioned it in the replies I've sent so far, I suppose I better in future though.

I guess I was really just checking that "gay friendly" isn't some sort of code for "gays only"! And it doesn't seem to be, so that's OK.

not even wrong

mydearwatson wrote: »

Cool, thanks for the advice.

I dunno, I suppose I just feel a bit ridiculous having to explicitly say that I'm OK with someone being gay. It sort of seems like saying to someone, "Oh it's OK that you wear glasses, I can accept that and I'll still live with you!" Maybe that's a stupid analogy! So I haven't mentioned it in the replies I've sent so far, I suppose I better in future though.

You're not supposed to mention it in reply, it's just shorthand for "someone living here is gay so if you are a homophobe don't bother applying". They will assume that anyone replying to the ad does not have a problem with it and they probably won't appreciate you making a big deal out of just how accepting you are of their sexual orientation.

tHE vAGGABOND

I dunno, I suppose I just feel a bit ridiculous having to explicitly say that I'm OK with someone being gay

I know of a guy, who I played rugby with in London, who was getting on with his then house mates fine, always out and having a laugh. That was until he came out to them and they basically never spoke to him again and asked him to leave a week or so later.

So now that bloke would only live in a "gay friendly" house, it does not mean it has to be pink or anything :pac:

dory

Icepick wrote: »

Gay friendly?
I doubt they also use black friendly...

Well when you're going to view the room you'd probably notice if the person talking to you is black. You may not notice if they're gay.

mydearwatson wrote: »

I dunno, I suppose I just feel a bit ridiculous having to explicitly say that I'm OK with someone being gay. It sort of seems like saying to someone, "Oh it's OK that you wear glasses, I can accept that and I'll still live with you!" Maybe that's a stupid analogy!

It's not stupid but you'd rarely hear of people being kicked out of home for the glasses thing, or being called names on the street. It's just a sad reflection of the world we live in; sometimes it's necessary to make sure you will be welcome in your own home.

Greenmachine

mhge wrote: »

I presume they want to weed out Stormfront types who might get abusive when they see two men holding hands, not to mention staying overnight. Just mention that you're OK with this requirement and that's all.

Nail on the head.

TylerIE

dory wrote: »

Well when you're going to view the room you'd probably notice if the person talking to you is black. You may not notice if they're gay.



It's not stupid but you'd rarely hear of people being kicked out of home for the glasses thing, or being called names on the street. It's just a sad reflection of the world we live in; sometimes it's necessary to make sure you will be welcome in your own home.

Sad but true... and so well worded....

To the OP:
Some LGBT individuals have had horrendous experiences of moving in with people who say "its ok if your gay just dont flaunt it" - but flaunting it means having a bf/gf over - while the straight individuals can have a weekly one night stand or the girlfriend over nightly. Iv also met people who have been asked to move out or left high and dry. Its probably best to acknowledge the Gay Friendly part in your reply.

John_Rambo

dory wrote: »

Well when you're going to view the room you'd probably notice if the person talking to you is black. You may not notice if they're gay.

Can't believe you...

1 - had to explain that.

2 - did so in a patient manner.

Fair play to you.