Your one freebie?

southsiderosie

Is there anything you wish you could get one free pass on? By this I mean something that you know you would probably get in trouble for in real life, but you might do if you just had one "free pass".

When I used to have to drive a lot in heavy city traffic for work, I would sometimes fantasize that I had one free pass to run over a pedestrian - usually the fcukers who deliberately walk out in front of you and then stare, daring you to hit them. Then when I used to ride the bus everyday, I used to wish I had one free pass to snatch away the mobile phone of a teenager using it to blast whatever horrible ****e they thought the rest of us wanted to listen to on our way home from work, and throw it out of the window. Obviously commuting makes me an angry psycho.

So what would be your "free pass"?

EDIT: OK, this should be something that you wouldn't monetarily profit from, but would be extremely satisfying nonetheless.

Trevor451

Ban anybody who posts shi*t threads on AH

3hn2givr7mx1sc

Happy slap a scumbag.

Frank Black

Rob a bank.:cool:

seanybiker

Shooting jedward in the face

Superbus

Personify cancer, and punch in the testicles. And the lungs. And the lymph glands.

See how it likes it.

D1stant

Beat Pat Kenny to death with a hurley on live television

Mickeroo

southsiderosie wrote: »

Is there anything you wish you could get one free pass on? By this I mean something that you know you would probably get in trouble for in real life, but you might do if you just had one "free pass".

When I used to have to drive a lot in heavy city traffic for work, I would sometimes fantasize that I had one free pass to run over a pedestrian - usually the fcukers who deliberately walk out in front of you and then stare, daring you to hit them. Then when I used to ride the bus everyday, I used to wish I had one free pass to snatch away the mobile phone of a teenager using it to blast whatever horrible ****e they thought the rest of us wanted to listen to on our way home from work, and throw it out of the window. Obviously commuting makes me an angry psycho.

So what would be your "free pass"?

Ah running them over would be pointless, its more fun to just speed momentarily up and then brake hard causing your tires to screech, scares the ****e out of them, the look of terror on their faces, priceless.

Red Hand

A free pass? I'd probably rob a bank.

pragmatic1

Probably kill someone I hate.

emeraldstar

black francis wrote: »

Rob a bank.:cool:

That's what I was gonna say

southsiderosie

black francis wrote: »

Rob a bank.:cool:

Jeremiah 16:1 wrote: »

A free pass? I'd probably rob a bank.

OK OP edited - I guess I was thinking of something that would be really satisfying, but not something that you would necessarily profit from monetarily.

Red Hand

southsiderosie wrote: »

OK OP edited - I guess I was thinking of something that would be really satisfying, but not something that you would necessarily profit from monetarily.

OK. I'd rob a bank. But then get the satisfaction of burning the money with lighter fuel in front of everybody.

Better?:P

southsiderosie

Superbus wrote: »

Personify cancer, and punch in the testicles. And the lungs. And the lymph glands.

See how it likes it.

If this were really possible, I don't think you would be punished for it...we would all be in line waiting to get our licks in.

Ectoplasm

I sympathise with you on annoying gits walking out in front of cars!

If I could get a free pass on injuries, I'd love to slam on the brakes while being tailgated and laugh with glee as the annoying fúcker wrecks their car. I too suffer from turning into angry psycho while commuting it seems.

Dun

Burn down our work building. If the disaster recovery plan works I can still work from home.. (in front of the tv ) but mainly won't have to be around our work's version of David Brent. Funny sometimes but when you've work to be doing, it's something else.

J. Marston

Kick the shìt outta Bertie. Yeah, he's old but he deserves a few slaps, at least.

Kevin Duffy

Trevor451 wrote: »

Ban anybody who posts shi*t threads on AH

I'd ban anybody who says a thread is shít like it was a fact, but posts in the thread anyway and doesn't contribute to thread or go off and start what they think are better threads.

Well, I say ban, I mean kill since I'm getting a free pass.

Frank Black

southsiderosie wrote: »

OK OP edited - I guess I was thinking of something that would be really satisfying, but not something that you would necessarily profit from monetarily.

I'm still going with robbing a bank.:cool:

Saila

get a flamethrower and a V mask and find all the scumbags I could
?????
profit

ArtSmart

D1stant wrote: »

Beat Pat Kenny to death with a hurley on live television

if you threw in Tubbs, you might actually be given a free pass.

branners69

I want to host a game like Running Man, with Bertie, Biffo, Fitzpatrick, Drumm and a few other white collared scumbags on the run!!

Imagine them turning up in your backgarden and you can hide them or shop them in for the kill!!

ArtSmart

branners69 wrote: »

I want to host a game like Running Man, with Bertie, Biffo, Fitzpatrick, Drumm and a few other white collared scumbags on the run!!

Imagine them turning up in your backgarden and you can hide them or shop them in for the kill!!

he he. yeah just turned off big Arnie there. amazing his roles are always perfect for him. still, worse than usual muck

Aishae

blimey - so much surpressed violence, lol.
i thought this thread would be about 'the one freebie you wish you had' such as free milk - always. or free miu miu's for life for the ladies. free vodka etc. i know, im tame.

if i could get away with it id paint a giant black smilie and arsehole on the windshield of gob****es without permits that park in disabled spots.
just to be destructive - but towards inconsiderate sh*tes

Tigger

from the age of 5 till 15 there was this dickhead. i would pay 10 grand for ten minutes consequense free in a CAGE WITH HIM

couldntthink

Taste human meat

ArtSmart

couldntthink wrote: »

Taste human meat

well there's a guy in another thread, could probably use you skills...

madison2011

I would put a DVD togther of all the dreams I had that were terrifying, hysterical, loving, amazing, enlightening so I could re-live them again and again. Especially the ones where I AM FLYING.
I'd watch them in the cinema. Well I'd be entertained anyway.

OutlawPete

Rip open Miriam O'Callaghan's top and take pics of her boobies.

Biggins

Me in a room just with a dynamo, wires, dragon clips, medical scalpel, a chair, duct tape and Bertie Ahern.

stupidusername

I'd be allowed smack over the head anybody that
-plays their music on the bus so that other people can hear it. (at least one person every ****ing day)

-eats food on the bus first thing in the morning, no matter what the smell is it makes me want to puke at that time of the morning.

-stands at the front of the bus when there's seats, seriously, you're in the ****ing way

-bathes in perfume

-has a buggy and uses it to get through crowds

-puffs away on cigarettes letting the smoke blow into my face

I know it said one, but I've a lot of anger

Tigger

Biggins wrote: »

Me in a room just with a dynamo, wires, dragon clips, medical scalpel, a chair, duct tape and Bertie Ahern.

dude you an me cos yer a psycho

smugchik

Smash all the speed cameras

Biggins

Tigger wrote: »

dude you an me cos yer a psycho

Shucks, you old sweet-talker you. :pac:

Ok, you can watch!

madmammy

Tigger wrote: »

dude you an me cos yer a psycho

haha... so he knows you then

Biggins

madmammy wrote: »

haha... so he knows you then

Hell dear, your living with me, you'd know! Ha-ha... :pac:

southsiderosie

stupidusername wrote: »

I'd be allowed smack over the head anybody that
-plays their music on the bus so that other people can hear it. (at least one person every ****ing day)

This. Drives. Me. CRAZY. It's bad enough that we are subjected to a variety of inane/sexually explicit/ridiculous one-sided mobile phone conversations, but the "mobile jukebox" thing really drives me crazy. Times like those, I wish I had a tazer and was allowed to use it.

OutlawPete

Biggins wrote: »

Me in a room just with a dynamo, wires, dragon clips, medical scalpel, a chair, duct tape and Bertie Ahern.

If think I'd if I was gonna be alone in a room will all that stuff, a get-away-with-it-free-pass and one of the Aherns, I'd rather it be Celicia

Chris P. Bacon

stupidusername wrote: »

I'd be allowed smack over the head anybody that
-plays their music on the bus so that other people can hear it. (at least one person every ****ing day)

-eats food on the bus first thing in the morning, no matter what the smell is it makes me want to puke at that time of the morning.

-stands at the front of the bus when there's seats, seriously, you're in the ****ing way

-bathes in perfume

-has a buggy and uses it to get through crowds

-puffs away on cigarettes letting the smoke blow into my face

I know it said one, but I've a lot of anger

You should buy a car,you wouldn't be so angry then

pockets3d

Did anyone else read the titles as ''Your one Frisbee?"

stupidusername

Chris P. Bacon wrote: »

You should buy a car,you wouldn't be so angry then

Not according to the motoring thread in R&R forum.

Mr.Crinklewood

Make a crepe.

Chris P. Bacon

stupidusername wrote: »

Not according to the motoring thread in R&R forum.

Which thread?

stupidusername

Chris P. Bacon wrote: »

Which thread?

Oh sorry,you mustn't have heard me, in THE MOTORING THREAD.

Chris P. Bacon

stupidusername wrote: »

Oh sorry,you mustn't have heard me, in THE MOTORING THREAD.

Yeah what motoring thread,there is many.

Turpentine

Biggins wrote: »

Me in a room just with a dynamo, wires, dragon clips, medical scalpel, a chair, duct tape and Bertie Ahern.

That's nice of you to let Bertie help build your art project.

stupidusername

Chris P. Bacon wrote: »

Yeah what motoring thread,there is many.

Only one that i've seen. It's called the official R&R motoring/road rant thread. I would go ahead and link it up there for you and all only i'm on my phone.

Chris P. Bacon

stupidusername wrote: »

Only one that i've seen. It's called the official R&R motoring/road rant thread. I would go ahead and link it up there for you and all only i'm on my phone.

No problem

OutlawPete

Chris P. Bacon wrote: »

Yeah what motoring thread,there is many.

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055690808

MagicIRL

My one freebie? I'd put a lifeguard on the gene pool.

Tubsandtiles

Play on stage with Coldplay