Child Maintenance

caoimh38

My ex husband hasn't paid maintenance for the past 6 months and cant. He has offered to let me live in our old family home rent free in lieu of maintenace payments. I can sell the house I'm living in and not have a mortgage anymore (I hope). Good idea or bad?

Shield

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Pandora2

caoimh38 wrote: »

My ex husband hasn't paid maintenance for the past 6 months and cant. He has offered to let me live in our old family home rent free in lieu of maintenace payments. I can sell the house I'm living in and not have a mortgage anymore (I hope). Good idea or bad?

And if it all goes wrong and for some reason he needs you to move out?? Really, if he can't pay you the court ordered maintenance he is the one who should downsize. He is broke, you are having cashflow problems;)

This strikes me as a minefield..don't think you should do anything without legal advice....anyhow, could you both live separate lives comfortably in this situation?? Are there kids involved??

Ickle Magoo

I'd second the suggestion to seek legal advice...at the very least you'd want something in writing as to the agreement so if there are any problems you have avenues of redress.

All the best. :cool:

DamagedTrax

if he's not living there then yeah go for it. but make sure you have strong legal agreement in place.

if he is living there aswell then only you can decide, depending on your relationship.

but go easy on him, he's obviously having a tough financial time and sounds like he's making a genuine effort to come up with a solution for you.

Really, if he can't pay you the court ordered maintenance he is the one who should downsize. He is broke, you are having cashflow problems

this is BS. if he is having financial problems the OP and ex should try and work on a solution that helps both of them. the shoe could very easily be on the other foot someday and good karma in these situations counts for an awful lot. believe me, i know thru experience.

Pandora2

I would take issue with the "BS" ..........from what the OP says this is the case! I would also work with an ex in this situation but not to the point of living in his home! (I do have an ex and we have kids so we communicate regularly and in a civil manner:))

Can't see it working myself if he is there? Would be very confusing for any children involved.

Legal advice is a must though.

DamagedTrax

but we dont know if he is living there.

and remember its his home, making him sell up (if he owns it) would be up rooting the childrens life aswell as his own (presuming there's an access arrangement). as well as being very harsh on someone going thru financial hardship.

Pandora2

Yeah....TBH I am in the process of relocating myself due to the economic situation.....and I agree the kids need stability with both parents...OP hope you work this out without too much angst but be careful if you decide to co-habit..............best of luck:)

LegacyUser

Iam a new fellow not much to say here I live my live by this quote
“Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning to dance in the rain.”

metrovelvet

This kind of thing really depends on the relationship you have with your ex. Personally I would not feel comfortable if the father of my child were also my landlord,in fact it would be a pichfork in my side, but for others this might work out ok, depending on trust and if the person is reliable if something goes wrong in the house, etc..

IF he cant afford maintennace its up to him to downsize so he can help pay for his kids, especially as once they turn 18 he can evict you and he still has a house and you have nothing.

liger

caoimh38 wrote: »

Good idea or bad?

Sounds like a bad idea. For him.


You can live there and then still take him back to court for the owed maintenence. There is no legal substitue for maintenence payments.


Talking from my own experience. I agreed to let my ex and kid live in our house and continue paying the mortgage in lieu of weekly payments because i couldnt afford the mortgage, rent my own place and pay her weekly. All went smooth for over year and then she dragged me into court. Spoke to a few different solicitors and they told me the same thing. Your f**ked. Only got her to drop the claim for back money because i told her if she wanted back money i'd need to move back into our house.


Anyway, so much can go wrong even if your on good terms at the moment. I wouldnt recommend it.

LittleBook

caoimh38 wrote: »

My ex husband hasn't paid maintenance for the past 6 months and cant. He has offered to let me live in our old family home rent free in lieu of maintenace payments. I can sell the house I'm living in and not have a mortgage anymore (I hope). Good idea or bad?

Why doesn't he rent out the house and pay you maintenance from that?

Seriously, get some legal advice because without more information we can't give you more practical advice.

caoimh38

We get on extremely well. We have children. I wouldn't bring him to court for non payment of maintenance. He could go and try for a reduction of the maintenace amount, but won't. It is an unusual situation but we do get on great, we have both partners and there has never been a problem. He has always paid on time and it is just since last year things have got bad.
Why doesn't he rent out the house and pay you maintenance from that? He has suggested that. Rental income is roughly 600 to 700 per month less than half of the maintenance I was getting so I would be worse off.

I have got legal advice and there will be some protection there as it will be the family home. He hasn't lived in it for several years and has rented it out now and then, but it's not worth the wear and tear for a large house.

Pandora2

Pretending your ex's finances are as was is not gonna sort this to anyone's satisfaction! He really should go back to court and have his maintenance adjusted to reflect his current situation and then at least you would know how much money you had to work with and his pressure would be alleviated.

You say he does not live in the house and let's it out only sometimes?? Do you want to move back in?? Could he not transfer the house to you and reduce/negate maintenance accordingly depending on equity/mortgage payments??

Commendable that you both get on and I would be loathe to go back to court with my own ex but retention of this vacant property is putting ye both under fierce pressure and necessitating decisions that would not otherwise have to be taken

DamagedTrax

Pandora2 wrote: »

Pretending your ex's finances are as was is not gonna sort this to anyone's satisfaction! He really should go back to court and have his maintenance adjusted to reflect his current situation and then at least you would know how much money you had to work with and his pressure would be alleviated.

this.

it would be very easy for him to get a variance order so him offering the house may well work out in YOUR financial favour.