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How do I find out if he wants to move in together without actually asking!

  • 22-05-2011 10:59am
    #1
    whatsherface
    Closed Accounts Posts: 69 ✭✭whatsherface


    Hi guys

    For the past couple of months It has been on my mind that I
    want to live with my boyfriend (going out now 9 months) I really love this guy and want to see if he is the one for me, I have just turned 30 and he a yr older then me.
    I don't want to scare him off by suggesting it if its not on his mind I really don't know if it is, how do i ask or find out without ruining things or scaring him off??

    Not very good at the whole relationship business any advice would be much appreciated thank you :)


Comments

  • #2
    rbag
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 75 ✭✭rbag


    Just ask him. Then you'd know.


  • #3
    [-0-]
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,981 ✭✭✭[-0-]


    Yeah just bring it up casually! If you're both at the same point in the relationship he's probably thinking about it too. Just tell him how you feel about him and that you'd like to wake up next to him every morning....something like that. :)


  • #4
    Kevin Duffy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,439 ✭✭✭Kevin Duffy


    I would suggest being fairly open and candid about it, rather than trying to be so subtle about it that you misunderstand each other. If you can't have an honest conversation about it, then it's maybe not the right move for you, or maybe not the right time.


  • #5
    John Mason
    Hosted Moderators Posts: 10,661 ✭✭✭✭John Mason


    IMHO if you cant talk to your bf about the future, then there isnt a future there.

    i also think that moving in with someone after 9 months is too soon but that's just me coming from bed experiences


  • #6
    Azureus
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,130 ✭✭✭Azureus


    I moved in with my boyfriend after 11 months and while it did feel quick, it was the best thing I ever did, so I think time is irelevant-it really does depend on the relationship.

    As for knowing if he's ready, just ask him. Not neccesarily 'do you want to move in together' statement, because as you say it might make him feel like hes backed into a corner, but let him know that its where you think the relationship is going and ask him how he feels about it.


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  • #7
    Kimia
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,897 ✭✭✭Kimia


    irishbird wrote: »
    IMHO if you cant talk to your bf about the future, then there isnt a future there.

    +1

    You should not even be thinking about moving in with your boyfriend if you're still at the stage where you're afraid of discussing things with him for fear of 'scaring him off'. You obviously don't feel secure with him. Whether that's due to the nature of the relationship or due to your own insecurities is something only you know.


  • #8
    Cain Rapid Mimicry
    Posts: 0 CMod ✭✭✭✭ Cain Rapid Mimicry


    Why in god's name would you even want to move in with someone you can't have a basic conversation with? Are you serious?
    If you are still worried about "scaring him off" then you have more problems than making a drama about moving in with him.


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