The question of parents with young children in public

For Forks Sake

RoverJames wrote: »

In a thread about places that do nice carvery lunches in Cork someone recommended some spot on the basis of the grub being nice but also how you can let your kids run amock like they are at home :rolleyes:

* heads for Cork forum to cause chaos*

later12

mattjack wrote: »

you started off in your OP talking about babies and young children..now you,re talking about older children knowing the difference between appropriate and inappropriate behaviour........

Seriously... read this thread. I said that the case of aeroplanes, which someone else brought up, is different. I agreed that babies sometimes need to use air transport and it is not in the same category as galleries and restaurants. I said here, we should mainly be concerned with older children who are being loud and whose behaviour is ignored - or encouraged - by their parents.

Im simply responding to where that conversation was going. That should be quite obvious from the last page or so.

Dudess

Those who think babies and toddlers should just stfu, and their parents should simply "make them" do so, really need to patent this miracle baby/toddler quietener, because they'd make a fortune from it.

It seems beyond some people's comprehension that very small children cry and scream, not as a tantrum but just as a run-of-the-mill way of expressing themselves, even if their parents are extremely conscientious and good at "controlling" them.

And "I couldn't give a fuk about other people's kids" - I don't think they care whether one does or not?

While some might find "I take it you're not a parent" annoying, it's a perfectly valid thing to say to someone who thinks it's possible for parents to never ever bring their child(ren) out in public with them.

Spanish Eyes

Liquid Piriton for kids over 1 year (the jumping around noisy toddling kind) is a sedating anti histamine. Available over the counter at the chemist. Great for air/sea sickness and vertigo. Four problems solved for the price of one. Ha Ha. Get it at a chemist near you for your tots next trip, for the sake of your fellow travellers, and yourself.

Difenhydramine is a similar product. Perfectly safe, as is Piriton, and makes you and your noisy obnoxious kids fall asleep.

If you hate noisy kids on a flight, take some of this stuff yourself. You won't mind the kids, you will be in noddy land. Happy days

I take it myself on long hauls. It's feckin brilliant.

Sweet.

mattjack

later10 wrote: »

Seriously... read this thread. I said that the case of aeroplanes, which someone else brought up, is different. I agreed that babies sometimes need to use air transport and it is not in the same category as galleries and restaurants. I said here, we should mainly be concerned with older children who are being loud and whose behaviour is ignored - or encouraged - by their parents.

Im simply responding to where that conversation was going. That should be quite obvious from the last page or so.

I did.....I,m pointing something out to you...

later12

Dudess wrote: »

Those who think babies and toddlers should just stfu, and their parents should simply "make them" do so, really need to patent this miracle baby/toddler quietener, because they'd make a fortune from it.

The reality is that there are situations where parents can quieten their children, and if not, there are certain situations whereby the parent might act considerately, in respect of other adults, by temporarily removing the crying child from that space.

How would you feel if you were in a library, a gallery, a museum, or a similar quiet space to which adults escape, or go to relax, and some parent wandered around with screaming toddlers who have no interest in being there? You wouldnt be bothered? Do you think it is reasonable to be so inconsiderate of fellow adults?

it's a perfectly valid thing to say to someone who thinks it's possible for parents to never ever bring their child(ren) out in public with them.

Have you actually read this thread, or any significant part of it? How many people, if anyone suggested such an extreme?

Dudess

later10 wrote: »

The reality is that there are situations where parents can quieten their children

How? What I'm saying is, it is sometimes not possible to control it. I'm not talking about kids being bratty and old enough to know better - I'm talking about very small children who cannot be reasoned with and just cry and scream because they are not aware of social mores yet, and this is something their parent(s) cannot control, no matter how strict they are.

and if not, there are certain situations whereby the parent might act considerately, in respect of other adults, by temporarily removing the crying child from that space.

But parents DO. And sometimes, as has been said, it is not possible. On e.g. a busy train, they can maybe bring them to the toilet for a bit, walk them up and down the train, but this might not work. It would be an awful situation for the parent(s) and a little bit of sympathy wouldn't go astray.

How would you feel if you were in a library, a gallery, a museum, or a similar quiet space to which adults escape, or go to relax, and some parent wandered around with screaming toddlers who have no interest in being there? You wouldnt be bothered? Do you think it is reasonable to be so inconsiderate of fellow adults?

I haven't said or even implied I think it's reasonable or that I wouldn't be bothered. Hold back before unleashing the strawmen. I have never seen that happen - I doubt it's commonplace.

Have you actually read this thread, or any significant part of it? How many people, if anyone suggested such an extreme?

That is what some people are effectively saying. I'm not talking about museums etc but restaurants and cafés, and planes.

Any key?

I was at a wedding a while ago that a baby just cried through.

Why didn't one of the parents just stand up and walk out of the church with the baby til it calmed down out of respect for the people who were getting married.

In general kids don't bother me at all but in those kind of situations people need to use their cop on.

Dudess

I was on a train once and there was a demon child, aged about three or four, screaming abuse at her mother for a huge chunk of the trip - if the kid had the vocabulary she would probably have screamed "Fuk you Mum!" She was a horrible little wagon. And the mother just sat there cool as a breeze.
Another time I was writing a college newspaper report about a pro-life talk - and several of those attending had babies with them, and naturally the babies were crying or shrieking or gurgling, and absolutely nothing wrong with that. But I did wonder why so many of them (if it was one or two, fair enough) had babies in an auditorium, at a non children's event, quite late in the evening (for a baby) - even the speaker passed comment on it, that it was making things difficult for her.

Both incidents were examples of lack of consideration by parents, but I cannot remember anything else like that, ever - in my experience, it's very much exceptional rather than commonplace. On this thread, a number of people seem to be confusing unavoidable uncomfortable situations involving small children/parents who have a right to be there, with inconsiderate parents.

later12

Dudess wrote: »

Originally Posted by later10
The reality is that there are situations where parents can quieten their children

How?

In the case of young babies, by picking them up and soothing them (ideally in the case of quiet spaces, elsewhere). In some cases it is inappropriate to pick the child up and the parent may be best advised to remove that screaming child from the space sooner rather than later.

In the case of toddlers, it can be possible to quieten them by admonishing them, issuing warnings, or by appeasing them with carkeys or small toys. It might be OK to let these cries go ignored to some extent at home, but in a public space where other adults are trying to engage their brains, or engage with one another, the same social rules do not apply.

That is all anybody here is really saying, there is no sinister intent to ban children from public areas or anything like that. We all understand that in some situations, particularly in supermarkets and out grocery shopping, it just isn't feasible to hire a baby sitter and it just isn't practical to suggest that small children always be left at home.

However, this does not necessarily apply to restaurants, bars, churches, museums, galleries and certain other public events like political meetings.

What I'm saying is, it is sometimes not possible to control it. I'm not talking about kids being bratty and old enough to know better - I'm talking about very small children who cannot be reasoned with and just cry and scream because they are not aware of social mores yet, and this is something their parent(s) cannot control, no matter how strict they are.

Indeed, in this case it isn't down to bad behaviour but perhaps a child needing changing, feeding, or mental stimulation.

In which case nobody is being critical. What we are perhaps critical of is the wisdom of bringing such children into restaurants, or to a gallery, for example, knowing that this is likely to happen.

But parents DO.

No. Many do. Some do not, including those here on this thread who do not see it as their responsibility to respect other adults in certain social situations

later10 wrote:

it's a perfectly valid thing to say to someone who thinks it's possible for parents to never ever bring their child(ren) out in public with them.

Have you actually read this thread, or any significant part of it? How many people, if anyone suggested such an extreme?

That is what some people are effectively saying.

Who? Who is effectively saying that parents ought never bring their child(ren) out in public with them?

later12

Dudess wrote: »

but I cannot remember anything else like that, ever - in my experience, it's very much exceptional rather than commonplace.

Nobody is debating the incidence of this in itself. Most parents are perfectly reasonable and will walk out of places where their child is causing an unacceptable disruption. But some, as we have seen from the examples given, will not. Although lesser in number, they are what this whole bloody thread is about, not parents in general.

Toby Take a Bow

Dudess wrote: »

Both incidents were examples of lack of consideration by parents, but I cannot remember anything else like that, ever - in my experience, it's very much exceptional rather than commonplace. On this thread, a number of people seem to be confusing unavoidable uncomfortable situations involving small children/parents who have a right to be there, with inconsiderate parents.

And my cinema experience. But I'd agree with you about restaurants and those kinds of places. My sister has kids, and if she's in a public place and they start going mental, she brings them outside to 'deal' with them. Makes sense.

Diddler1977

nlgbbbblth wrote: »

So I should get a babysitter whenever I have to do the weekly shopping?

:rolleyes:

You could do lots of things....

1. Get a babysitter when you are doing your weekly shop
2. Sign up for online shopping and get your groceries delivered to you
3. Go do your weekly shop with the kids when they are not tired, hungry, grumpy, etc.

looksee

Oh for heavens sake, before responding, please read the thread, you are just taking things round in circles!

Dudess

Diddler1977 wrote: »

You could do lots of things....

1. Get a babysitter when you are doing your weekly shop
2. Sign up for online shopping and get your groceries delivered to you
3. Go do your weekly shop with the kids when they are not tired, hungry, grumpy, etc.

If it was that easy to co-ordinate things so seamlessly, I'm sure every parent would happily comply. Reality: life is messy and chaotic and things don't always work out smoothly - even when there aren't children in the equation.

stovelid

later10 wrote: »

The reality is that there are situations where parents can quieten their children, and if not, there are certain situations whereby the parent might act considerately, in respect of other adults, by temporarily removing the crying child from that space.

Funnily enough, the last time I got daggers about our kid crying (in a widely accepted child friendly venue) from the next table, they didn't seem to notice that we had patiently endured their Boeing 747 takeoff-level volume braying about shit skinny jean niche cultural activities and their zany hangover anecdotes for an hour beforehand.

Owldshtok

For Forks Sake wrote: »

There's a pub near me that have put a bouncy castle in the carpark precisely to cater for such cretins

That's disgusting.What low standards has Irish society sank to when a family day out means a bouncy castle deliberately placed beside the pub.No wonder the country is ruined!

deco nate

they should take a leaf outta the mc canns book an leave them on their
own,cos it will save em a small fortune on bringin up kids:pac:

Master and commander

snyper wrote: »

This problem is something caused by our celtic tigerness that wont fcuk off.

The "sex and the city" life that many people want .

Ok so you're at an art gallery what the fcuk do you need your ears to look at a painting?

Ok, so from this thread and others ive read in AH ive established the following list of places you cannot bring a child

Art gallery - you cant hear the paintings

Cinema - disturbance

Resturant - you cant hear your sandwich

The Park - you cant hear the birds chirp..hey..i got a tip..take off your fcuking ipod when u jog

The seaside - blocks the sun, leaving only the hole in the ozone for you to enjoy + they make noise

The doctors - They make noise there too.. and im sick , somone please cry me a river

School - Yup cant bring them there either

Holidays - Parents are not allowed holidays - they have children to look after

Shopping - Pretty much the same reason as all of the above.


So in essance, rather than the usual ol load of bollox, just admit if you can that you hate children. Thats the first step. The second step is to come to the realisation that the world does not revolve around you. It will be those children that will be paying for your generation to have their arses wiped and nappies changed when you are too old to do it.. and you dont have family of your own because ... you hated children for too long and then when you wantwed them you were too old to have them

Listen to this. I bet your a woman, 35, with loads of bawlin snotty kids, and in another 5 yrs you'll be one of those frustrated aul bags that you see around. Jeez what is it with some people and thinking its normal to breed like farm animals and then expose everyone else the the resulting circus.

Rant over

Dangerous Man

You can't even go to a feckin' sex club these days without some arsehole bringing their babies in a pram 'daddy is just going to be choked in that cage while he ****. Play with your Nepalese finger puppets Sneachta.'

AckwelFoley

Master and commander wrote: »

Listen to this. I bet your a woman, 35, with loads of bawlin snotty kids, and in another 5 yrs you'll be one of those frustrated aul bags that you see around. Jeez what is it with some people and thinking its normal to breed like farm animals and then expose everyone else the the resulting circus.

Rant over

lol

Surveyor11

So, I'm in Tayto Park today with the missus and the young fella, having a picnic. Some tramp takes her kid out of the sand pit who's whining, plonks him up on the same table we're eating at, and proceeds to change his nappy inches from us. Leaves the manky nappy on the table for a while as well. To be honest, she looked like such and ignorant w*anker I couldn't be bothered taking it up with her, we moved. Come back later, another family merrily enjoying their picnic in the same spot where the nappy had been. WTF is wrong with these people??? Are they completely socially retarded?

evolving_doors

Ok, here I go.....
threadthinly veiled as ...I need to experience Frieeda whatever' s monobrow in silence to get the full impact of its artistic purpose...+.....I never realised that kids cried in ary galleries...+... I dont have kids +...I was never a crying brat myself...


Btw op I relish in bringing my kids to public places and let them kick off....

Czarcasm

Surveyor11 wrote: »

So, I'm in Tayto Park today with the missus and the young fella, having a picnic. Some tramp takes her kid out of the sand pit who's whining, plonks him up on the same table we're eating at, and proceeds to change his nappy inches from us. Leaves the manky nappy on the table for a while as well. To be honest, she looked like such and ignorant w*anker I couldn't be bothered taking it up with her, we moved. Come back later, another family merrily enjoying their picnic in the same spot where the nappy had been. WTF is wrong with these people??? Are they completely socially retarded?

The same question could be asked of a person who bumps a two year old thread.

Armelodie wrote: »

Ok, here I go.....
threadthinly veiled as ...I need to experience Frieeda whatever' s monobrow in silence to get the full impact of its artistic purpose...+.....I never realised that kids cried in ary galleries...+... I dont have kids +...I was never a crying brat myself...


Btw op I relish in bringing my kids to public places and let them kick off....

I'd say the OP is over it two years later.

Surveyor11

Hey thanks for your input

bobin fudge

later12 wrote: »

I don't know... common sense, decency!

When I was a kid, going to an adult environment was considered a treat and we were warned in advance that any inappropriate behaviour would be punished. My parents didn't take me out for dinner with their friends or to exhibitions. Then again I do appreciate that parents are less inclined to leave their kids alone anymore, and there may be financial pressures on paying babysitters, but this is reality, that's parenthood, it wasn't advertised as easy.

reality is also that in this day and age to expect children in "adult" environments.

visiting adult environments wasn't advertised as easy :rolleyes:

dr.bollocko

Old thread is old.