Wedding present for afters

robertpatterson

My neighbours son is getting married and we got an invitation that had names tipexxed out and ours written over,its not to the main wedding just to the afters
On it they say no presents please just money
Now i dont think well be going anyway but my partner wants to give a small gift
What do you think?

shanemort

sounds a bit pikie, Tip Ex! could they not have bought some cheap invites for the afters, we didnt get any gifts from afters guests at ours, But if you really want to give a gift maybe €50 in a card MAX

PS you should Add some tip ex to the card to keep up with the Theme

Cellygirl

No presents just money?!?! ON the actual invitation? An EVENING invitation?! Are you KIDDING me?

Who does that?! That's horrendously rude, inexcusable.

I wouldn't mind about the tip-ex, they could have had a limited number of invitations and accidentally written someone else's name, perhaps an invitation they already did, then copped it and wrote your names over it. I remember writing our invitations and several times going 'oh God did I do one for Auntie Mary?' you know. It gets monotonous after a while!

But ASKING for money ON the invitation? Vile.

We got a few gifts (glasses, vase etc) from our evening guests and some of those who came were my husband's colleagues so they had already contributed to a 'staff' gift. A few evening guests just gave a card or nothing, we weren't expecting anything at all. Generally a small gift or just a card is acceptable for an evening guest, no-one expects a huge present.

syklops

To be fair, if they have been living together for a few years like most couples do these days, they probably have all the things they need, like bed linen and plates and sandwich makers which people often give. I personally think putting money instead of gifts on a wedding invite is no worse then putting what shop your registered at.

The tipex is a bit much though.

Cellygirl

There should be no mention whatsoever on your invitation of ANY gift, monetary or otherwise.

I don't care how long a couple has been living together, you do not ask for money. Or a gift. At all.

The invitation contains the time, date and place of the wedding ONLY and NOTHING else.

Anything else is plain bad manners.

stephendevlin

Give them a gift anyways and put a vibrator in with it. If they dont like the gift then they can go F**K themselves ha ha

stephendevlin

Bit much tho on a serious note.

ElleEm

robertpatterson wrote: »

My neighbours son is getting married and we got an invitation that had names tipexxed out and ours written over,its not to the main wedding just to the afters
On it they say no presents please just money
Now i dont think well be going anyway but my partner wants to give a small gift
What do you think?

That invite sounds like you were a second thought to be honest. Give money if you can afford it but don't go wild!

Cellygirl wrote: »

There should be no mention whatsoever on your invitation of ANY gift, monetary or otherwise.

I don't care how long a couple has been living together, you do not ask for money. Or a gift. At all.

The invitation contains the time, date and place of the wedding ONLY and NOTHING else.

Anything else is plain bad manners.

I think that too, although I have thought about putting "You wear white, you go home!" on my invites after all the threads in Fashion and Appearance with women wanting to wear white dresses to weddings!!!

tinkerbell

If I got an evening invite or any invite for that matter that mentioned gifts, I would not give anything. It is so rude, presumptuous and quite frankly, extremely bad manners. Don't give anything!

Bride2012

That's bad form. I'd do 50 in a card for an evening invite generally. Did they word it like your post or more politely?

And white to a wedding! I'd freak out, pick one of the thousands of other colours and wear your white on any other day of the year please.

robertpatterson

They stuck it in the form of a poem that said 'no toasters we have enough give us money cos were in the rough'
I dont think ill give them anything tbh its the afters and were probably not going and if i was to give them something itd be something small circa the €25 mark
Just thought it was a bit of a cheek ive seen the wedding lists being given out if you go to the actual wedding but not the afters
Thanks for all the replies

Cellygirl

Oooh no! It was in a poem?! Oh I HATE those! So twee and badly written. Utterly tasteless.

Why do people think putting a poem asking for money into an invitation is acceptable? Who started that tradition - I'd like to hunt them down and shoot them!

michelledoh

If you aren't going to the afters, you don't have to give a present, in my opinion. Give something small and thoughtfull like a silver photo frame (very cheap) or flowers. Don't go overboard and anything more than €50 is madness!