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What do I do?

  • 18-05-2011 8:23pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Broke up with my boyfriend of over 18 months a month ago (his decision). Since then we met up once, had agreat time and ended up kissing. We have been in regular enough contact since then having great banter and were even supposed to meet up again at one stage until something came up (genuine!).

    So last week, he kind of broke down my wall and had me admit my feelings for him. He told me he wanted to be with me, couldnt stop thinking about me and wanted to hold me in his arms again but that we made a decision and that was that now, no going back. I told him I accepted that.

    Didn't speak again until yesterday again just a bit of banter. However one comment I made jokingly appeared to make him very jealous and he got quite riled. I text him later to say we should just end the chats and texts as it is too difficult for us to be friends, he seemed peeved at first but then agreed. The thing is, I really miss him and I'd love to see him again but in terms of getting back together I'm so afraid and so is he, because of the past and being afraid that it will be the same as before. I've felt things for him lately that I haven't felt in a while and he said the same the last time we met. I appreciate him a lot more and am slowly letting go of the past because whether we get back together or meet someone else I think it is important to let go of past events. I guess I just need advice on what to do now? He is going to be up in my city at the weekend with friends.


Comments

  • #2
    dublingal80
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,540 ✭✭✭dublingal80


    Firstly, he broke up with you a month ago, yet you are both still in touch, and you have met up... how is that ever going to help you move on?

    If you dont know if you want to get back with him or not, I would suggest not seeing him this weekend. Its not a good idea. You need to cut the contact until you figure out what you want.. if that means a few weeks or a few months, so be it. If he meets someone along the way, it wasnt meant to be. But you need to concentrate on you!

    It seems like he is enjoying being single with the perks of seeing you... eg "he kind of broke down my wall and had me admit my feelings for him" and then telling you he feels the same and he wants you back in his arms, but that you both came to that decision and you have to stick to it! doesnt make sense at all.

    If you told him you still loved him and if he honestly felt the same way, there would be nothing stopping wanting to give your relationship another go

    Give yourself some space op. dont see him. dont text him. Think about YOU


  • #3
    Beruthiel
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 42,362 Mod ✭✭✭✭Beruthiel


    confusedaboutwhatnext wrote: »
    I guess I just need advice on what to do now?

    It is very straight forward.
    You have to cut him completely out of your life and move on.
    While you continue to stay in contact you will stay in this confused limbo.


  • #4
    lace
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 400 ✭✭lace


    OP, you need to delete his number, block/hide/unfriend him on facebook and try to move on from this lad. Some people feel that they need to be "friendly" with their ex, but it only really works if you're both completely over the relationship. Meeting up with him and talking to him (even if it is just the banter) when you're no longer in a relationship is only going to remind you of the "good times" when things were simple and you were first attracted to him. It's not a realistic representation of what he's like as a boyfriend. If he was a bad boyfriend (for an extended period of time) once, it's likely to happen again. I completely understand that it's difficult to move on and simply "forget" about someone but it's probably better if you just don't meet up with or contact him again. At least until you feel you're completely over him.


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