Question on choice of bestman / groomsmen

Qually

Hi, traditionally the brother of the groom is the best man. I know this is the tradition and each to their own I suppose.
However, i have two brothers and even though we get on fine, we are not particularly "close". Want to see what peoples opinions are - should there be any weirdness if either brother was not chosen as best man?? Was planning on having two bros as groomsmen and having a good friend as best man. I undersand its all subjective and is based on relationships etc but curious on others' thoughts / feelings on the subject.

Brothers will most likely be delighted not to have the speech gig etc! but at the same time, I'm feeling a bit of a duty to perhaps have one as best man? Get me?
(note - if i was to have one bro as best man - in that case, we would only have one best man and one groomsman...and leave friend out of the equation altogether)
Also, both bros are out of the country pretty much permanently and am thinking it may be too much pressure to have them back for best man duties etc , stag organising etc.

Any comments ??? Thanks

tfak85

We are getting married next week, my OH has two brothers also and chose his best friend as his best man.

While he would be fairly close with one of them, the other would not have minded.. he chose the one he's close to as his witness (no groomsmen) and the other guy didn't mind at all!

As you say they will probably be delighted not to have the pressure of the speech etc.

They should be honoured to be asked to participate in your day, not expect it.

kandr10

At least by having them as groomsmen and a friend as best man, you don't have to pick between the brothers for best man!

Qually

kandr10 wrote: »

At least by having them as groomsmen and a friend as best man, you don't have to pick between the brothers for best man!

Thats it - and thats what i was gonna jokingly say about it! That I couldnt choose!
The more I think about it and type, the more it makes sense to have both as groomsmen. Less pressure for all concerned as they are away etc etc...and at the end of the day they are playing a part in our day and will no doubt have a blast without the best man pressures.
Sometimes we can overthink things I feel

Fozzie Bear

I would not get too hung up on it Qually. I was bestman for a good friend who already had a brother. In the end the brother was not even a groomsman and there was no hassle with it. On the flip side of that I am getting married next year and I am having my brother as bestman and my other four brothers as groomsmen! I have loads of friends that I could have asked but I wanted it to be a family affair plus my mates will be only too happy to spend their free time at the bar having the craic instead of posing for pictures with us.

Its down to individual circumstances and there are no set rules or regulations. Its your day and if you are comfortable with a friend as your BM them go for it.

youcancallmeal

I'm getting married soon and neither of my two older brothers are going to be my bestman or even groomsmen. I wouldnt say were not close but we would never socialise together and have different groups of friends. After I got engaged they basically said to me that I neednt worry about not asking them, they have both have kids and other priorities now and would just like to go on the day and enjoy themselves without having any responsibilities. In the end I asked friends to be bestman/groomsman and everyone is happy.

Qually

cool, thanks. we would be the same. I get on but have completely different circles of friends and never socialise together, except for family functions.

watna

I was at a wedding recently where the groom's best friend was his best man and his two brothers were groomsmen. Nobody batted an eyelid. I don't think it's as common as people think to have a brother as a best man. You'll be grand!