The "i'm not perfect" Thread

Senna

Inspired by a story i heard today, i thought i'd start a thread for people to post their own "stupid" moments while driving. The Motor forum has plenty of people quick to jump down the throat of people who make mistakes, but can you admit to any "Blonde" moments yourself??

I'll start, a good few years back i was driving home from college, it was early evening and after it got dark i noticed my headlights seem to be getting dimmer and dimmer. Of course i knew the alternator had packed up and the battery was slowly dying, i was about 30 minutes away from were my brother worked, so i phoned him and told him the story. He said to try and make it to his work and he'll leave work early to drive me the 20 miles home. Anyway by the time i got to his work the lights were nothing more than a dull glimmer, i was thankful i didn't get stranded on the side of some road, but before we parked the car up for the night, the brother decided to have a look.
You can imagine the shame and embarrassment when he pointed out the headlights were just covered in a thick layer of dirt that i had accumulated on the long trip back from college. Worst part was he was only half way through his work shift when he told his boss he needed to leave because my car had broken down:o.

I probably have more stories, but i'll post them later on.

Tallon

I once bought an Octavia

Reversing into a lamp post is my worst driving one. Maintenance wise changing a power steering belt without slacking off the bolt to allow the adjuster to be adjusted, at least the evenings in the gym showed results...:o

redsteveireland

I don't know if it counts as when driving but buying a VW Polo brand new in 2000 was a big mistake.
Actually just remembered, i had the car about 6 weeks and bought a set of alloys for it and took it for a spin. I got carried away by my go faster wheels and took a sweeping bend with too much enthusiasm, swerved to avoid a car, swerved to avoid a ditch, drove along the top of an embankment and came to rest on the wrong side of the road facing traffic. I got out to look for damage, saw none and drove off to the amazement of onlookers! :$

sentient_6

Driving along an tight unmarked backroad. Ended up stopped side by side with a car coming the other direction. She sits there looking at me so in my haste i moved forward thinking i had the room, cue her sticky out Mazda 3 rear wheel arch down the side of the car. Fu*kn load of ****e. I should've just reversed. Mind you she could've pulled into a gate just before where she stopped too. We'd still be there looking at each other if i hadn't moved one way or the other. Thankfully nothing became of it cos it was pretty much equal very minor damage on either side.

ShadowHearth

All my life I drove quite fast or semi powerful cars. I drove 400hp skyline for 1 year, then I parked it off due to financial difficulty. I bought 1.6 mondeo for 500eu. On my third day of driving it I decided to take the trash to local dump company. When I payed for waste I jumped in to my powerful an awesome mondeo and reversed in to huge metal gate which you could see from planet ureanus. rear light the whole corner destroyed. Car in workshop for anather week...

7 years if driving quite powerful stuff and not even having a scratch. I sit in to ****y 1.6 mondeo I manage to destroy it...

overshoot

going round some back roads on a diversion. narrow bridge, 90 turns into it on both sides. first car on other side waits, get over to find its tight and so i put the car within literally an inch of the wall. he still cant get past. i go to reverse back but have left the slightest but if turn in the wheels and instantly nudge the wall. it got 2 panels too:rolleyes:

Boskowski

I was once driving fairly swiftish down an inner city 4 lane at half 1 in the morning oblivious to anything around me acoustics wise as my favourite tune was on full throttle and I was singing it too.
I was approaching a big junction and had a green light when suddenly from the right an entire Löschzug (two firetrucks, the big yoke with the ladder and an ambulance) entered the junction at high speed. I had not heard their sirens at all but somehow got that extra split second that saved me by more or less subconsciously noticing the reflections of their flashing lights in the shopwindows just as I was about to enter the junction as well. I never forget the adrenalin shock I got from it. It was an 'Im fvcked' moment but I somehow avoided collision and the firetrucks breezed through as if nothing was going on.
Since then: Loud music yeah, deafening loud? No.

On a lighter but equally blonde note. Only a year ago I was in a rush and needed to pick up some cash but no spot to leave the car even for a minute near the ATM. Spot a gap half the size of my car so I think for just one minute I'll go diagonally in there front of the car on the sidewal. I say diagonally cos I couldn't go in straight as there was also a lamppost involved. So in I go up on the curb as close to the lamppost as possible. Out, get the cash grand. But when reversing out and the first front wheel comes of the curb the whole car tilts over to the left ever so slightly and I'm ruining my front left wing on the lamp post. Dearest cash I ever got and felt like an idiot.

shawnee

Was working in Dublin a good few years back and following a couple of attempts to steal my car I fitted a steering lock and an ignition cut off switch. Went out one night with a few friends and when we came to the car at the end of the night it would not start. I tried all the usual stuff and eventually had the lads give it a push to see if it would start. Well they pushed the Mk 2 Cortina for around half a mile and huffed and puffed and she still wouldn't budge.
Then somewhere in the back of my mind I thought of the feckin cut off swith which was fitted a few months back.
Yeah I had activated it before going into the party. Eventually I quietly deactivated it and asked the guys for one short push.
Away with the car and of course I told no one that night, but did a long time after

cjmcork

bought a 4x4 during the celtic tiger for driving around the rough terrains of, ahem, Cork city

(still, superior driving position!)

Reloc8

Stuck my OH's car against a pillar in a multi story, scraping one panel.

'Ploughed' into a harley at .0000001 MPH in traffic (that was my post driving test accident) and nudged his big shiny rear mud guard out of kilter.

Lucky enough your man was dead sound and relieved me of a small sum of cash a week later to get it fixed.

Berty

Last week I was pulling into a space. It was the same space I kerbed the alloy in the last time coming from the other direction into the space. I thought "I won't let this happen again" and parallel parked the car. I KERBED THE OTHER FECKIN WHEEL!!! :mad:

When I was really young, similar to the OP story I was driving at night by myself and when a car came towards me I would turn my headlights onto sidelights. I never knew about the high beam vs dipped beam. How sad.

peasant

I have completely unlearned how to reverse parallel park

Used to be perfect at it, then I had a Mini (the original) which negated the need for it as it fit in everywhere anyway and ever since I make a complete balls of it ...these days I only try it in absolute emergencies and usually end up halfway in the road or on the footpath.

johnos1984

I unknowingly flashed an unmarked Garda car out of the overtaking lane on the M7 3 years ago

cjmcork

johnos1984 wrote: »

I unknowingly flashed an unmarked Garda car out of the overtaking lane on the M7 3 years ago

often wondered what would happen here - what did they do???

johnos1984

cjmcork wrote: »

often wondered what would happen here - what did they do???

It was a long story. I was doing a mercy dash to a hospital down the country and got clocked by him doing a very much illegal speed after I flashed/blew him out of the way.

Good guy though, listened to why I was driving fast, gave me a bottle of water and then an escort the rest of the way.

No points, no lecture but I slowed down a lot since. Him being nice probably had the biggest effect on me

TestTransmission

Tallon wrote: »

I once bought an Octavia

It's a pretty bold statement to claim to have once owned the most superior car that was ever built.Pics or gtfo

pajo1981

Tallon wrote: »

I once bought an Octavia

Don't feel bad, I once bought a Passat.

El Guapo!

The front bumper on my car is low-ish, and about a year ago I drove straight into a parking spot but went too far forward and the bumper scraped up onto the footpath. I stupidly slapped it into reverse and pulled off one side of the bumper.

Voodoomelon

Driving along a dark, narrow road, car coming towards me with full lights on, gave him 2-3 seconds and still on fulls, so gave him a quick flash. Nothing. Two more quick flashes, still nothing. Who is this arse, started flashing repeatedly at him. Even then a second or two went by and then he dipped them. Squad car rolls by...

mikemac

I crashed twice in two hours. But that was a scooter and my first day I owned it.

We used to own Jap cars and reverse was always bottom right. Car was being serviced and garage gave us a Ford. I couldn't figure out how to get reverse, it was top left. I pushed, banged and cursed the gear stick. The local garda sergeant was walking past, I asked him. Got laughed at and was shown you have to lift the gear stick to and then select reverse.
Well it wasn't obvious to me!

There is a little switch you can flick on the mirror if the car behind is dazzling you. I was driving about seven years before I ever know you could do that

unkel

peasant wrote: »

I have completely unlearned how to reverse parallel park

Used to be perfect at it, then I had a Mini (the original) which negated the need for it as it fit in everywhere anyway and ever since I make a complete balls of it ...

I'm the opposite!

I used to be crap at it when I owned small cars but got better, the bigger the cars I got. With my BMW 7-series (5m long and nearly 2m wide) I was inch perfect. The front and rear PDC and the incredibly light power steering at low speeds did rather help I must confess

unkel

unkel wrote: »

I'm the opposite!

Parking is one of the only skills I have :pac:
I was never bad at it but 3 months spent parking cars had me sh1t hot at it, wouldn't be as good now but I still parallel park into spaces that folk in the car reckon are non runners.

cadaliac

Stop start traffic on the way to work. Out of boredom, I was checking the vanity lights on the sun visor (it was a winter sunny morning), and I thought I was in nuetral. I wasn't. I was in first gear moving forward @ engine idle speed.
Bang. My driver side headlight, bonnet and driver side wing all took a creasing along with grill and front panel.
I broke his rear light cluster (passanger side) and cracked his rear bumper on his '99 astra. Bearing in mind this happened about 4 years ago so his car wasn't worth too much.
Suprising really when I found out that he managed to claim just over €16,000 from my insurance. :mad:
I felt like a f~cking idiot.

Damokc

Was driving down my local village after the OH came out of the shop and was giving out about the car coming against us with one head light! As I was giving out about it the car started to FLASH ME!!
As it came closer.....I realised it was the local sergeant...she asked me was I forgetting something..I looked all around my dash and realised I had no lights on at all myself!! (Street lights were guiding me perfectly!!)

Of course in hindsight I should have then said are you forgetting anything? and informe her of her blown headlight!!

gyppo

Came out of the VRT office after clearing my Merc W123.

Hopped in, turned the key, nothing...............
Fvck that, sez I, opened the bonnet, and had a good look around to see if anything had gone astray with connections, etc.. Naturally, it was lashing out of the heavens at the time.
20 minutes later, now getting thick and about to phone a friend, I realised what a total plank I was.
Gear selector was left in Drive......................:o

Well, it was my first auto.........

Mr.David

johnos1984 wrote: »

Good guy though, listened to why I was driving fast, gave me a bottle of water and then an escort the rest of the way.

He gave you a bottle of water?!

Like holy water to keep you safe when speeding or did he just think you looked a bit thirsty?!:D

johnos1984

Mr.David wrote: »

He gave you a bottle of water?!

Like holy water to keep you safe when speeding or did he just think you looked a bit thirsty?!:D

I suppose it was to calm me down. He didn't have a flask of tea or ham sandwiches..............or else he wasn't sharing

challengemaster

Was driving a friend from their house to town for something. Didn't know the area so they were giving directions. They said "There's a little bump up ahead" - I thought nothing of it and continued at regular speed. Next thing I hit a hump-back bridge going 80km/h - pure dukes of hazard moment. Needed new pants after that

Little bump me hole!

L-M

Not me but it was to do with my nan.

The mother went into town to collect her after her getting her haircut. She has a silver TT and was parked about 4 spaces up from the hairdressers. There was a silver Celica parked outside the hairdressers. Fast forward the nan coming out of the hairdressers and goes straight across to the Celica and opens the door and starts sitting in to the shock of the lad in the Celica. Que the mother running up the road to tell her it was the wrong car! Haha

Dartz

While learning to drive, I missed a slip road due to misreading a sign and ended up wandering onto a motorway.

Was something of a fright considering it was only my third time driving.

---

I borrowed my father's old Kawasaki Zr 7 once without telling him, and promptly crashed it. Got it back, locked it in the shed and said nothing.

He still thinks that the dents in the tank came from a plank of wood falling on it. It was sold off a few years back.

---

Forever accidentally catching the accelerator when I'm braking at traffic lights. Big feet are a pain sometimes, but manuals are great because I can just stomp the clutch in when it happens.

My current car is an auto, so it's only a matter of time before that ends in tears.

---

Chuck Stone

Tried to reset the mile-ometer(?) thru the steering wheel while turning a corner - nearly crashed coming out of the bend needless to say. Scary & dumb.

cml387

Brave people to describe their less than perfect driving experiences.We are after all perfect drivers.:rolleyes:

Running into the back of a stationary garda car (I can still see the plastic bumper flying into the air) is my claim to fame.I had only been driving a few weeks in fairness.My parents happened to drive by the incident just after it happened.Oh god.

jimmyw

I was driving the brothers car one time and was returning it and stopped to get out to put in the code to the electric gates, when I.........................................:o:o forgot to apply the handbrake and the car rolled into the gate and bent the arm to the motor so only one gate would close.It was welded back up though the next day. fekin idiot I am:rolleyes:

Tallon

TestTransmission wrote: »

It's a pretty bold statement to claim to have once owned the most superior car that was ever built.Pics or gtfo

Mr. Manager

When I bought my first saloon I figured I'd best get used to the size of it for reverse parking etc.

Went across to my local shops, not a car in sight so I in my head thought, now was a good time.

Lined myself up nice an straight for a spot only to find a lamppost.

Made a right mess of the bumper and only had the car a few hours

-Corkie-

Tallon wrote: »

LOL you bad bad man Tallon :D:D:D

Gary ITR

RoverJames wrote: »

Parking is one of the only skills I have :pac:
I was never bad at it but 3 months spent parking cars had me sh1t hot at it, wouldn't be as good now but I still parallel park into spaces that folk in the car reckon are non runners.

I spent 18 months working as a rep in Dublin City Centre, driving around all day. I was about to get out of a very tight spot when a chap tapped on my window and told me I'd never get out of that spot, the look on his face was priceless when I told him I'd gotten into it. He actually asked if he could watch me get out, which I did and he clapped. Poor chap was a bit touched God bless him but it was a proud moment for me ha!

As for the OP, I recently painted my rocker cover and never replaced the earth strap, the car died at the side of the road the following day, I rang my mechanic and he came straight down and instantly copped it, the ECU fuse had blown. I was more than a tad embarrassed that day

ShadowHearth

Chuck Stone wrote: »

Tried to reset the mile-ometer(?) thru the steering wheel while turning a corner - nearly crashed coming out of the bend needless to say. Scary & dumb.

I actuolly imagining this in my head now. Amd it's very damn funny, sorry.

ottostreet

I'm crap at reversing parking. OK, it's slightly car dependant, I found the rear visibility on all my BMWs excellent and never had any problems parking them. But my FTOs and Puntos and the gf's Polo...Rubbish at parking them backwards!

Also, right after I started driving, I drove straight into the side of another car that was parked on a corner in a car park. It was just retarded, a big wide open corner and I just turned far far far too late and bang. No damage done because I was going really slowly, but I was so embarrassed.

Voodoomelon

gyppo wrote: »

Came out of the VRT office after clearing my Merc W123.

Hopped in, turned the key, nothing...............
Fvck that, sez I, opened the bonnet, and had a good look around to see if anything had gone astray with connections, etc.. Naturally, it was lashing out of the heavens at the time.
20 minutes later, now getting thick and about to phone a friend, I realised what a total plank I was.
Gear selector was left in Drive......................:o

Well, it was my first auto.........

I did the same thing, but the other way round, I couldn't get the key out! I'd turned off the ignition with the car in drive and was pulling frantically on the key for 30 seconds trying to get it out. My mates brother came out and figured it out after a few seconds. :pac:

Chuck Stone

ShadowHearth wrote: »

I actuolly imagining this in my head now. Amd it's very damn funny, sorry.

No worries - enjoy .

Killinator

Was finished work at 10 o'clock at night over winter,
The few cars in the parking lot were covered in ice,
I walk up to my Polo and put the key in the lock, it doesn't turn,
I think "balls, its frozen shut again" as it had done several times over the 'cold snap', I proceed to try and coax the key with the heated water for my frozen windscreen, but to no avail, she's well and truly frozen,

I think "F**K", How will I get in" ( driver and passenger side were both frozen,
So next up I say "f**K it, I'll reach into the lock from the boot", all i needed to do is take the parcel shelf down,
Go to the back of the car, and strangely I've left the boot unlocked, handy I thought given it meant I could get in and out of the cold,
Then I noticed the lack of clutter in the boot, or the bag I had left on the back seat,
I close the boot and look down at the reg.........:o:o:o:o

I wouldn't mind but I've owned my Polo for 5 years, I never even paid attention to the fact that other car had hubs and I have alloys, Thankfully nobody was around but I was ashamed of myself for being so rudy stupid:)

CiniO

Killinator wrote: »

Was finished work at 10 o'clock at night over winter,
The few cars in the parking lot were covered in ice,
I walk up to my Polo and put the key in the lock, it doesn't turn,
I think "balls, its frozen shut again" as it had done several times over the 'cold snap', I proceed to try and coax the key with the heated water for my frozen windscreen, but to no avail, she's well and truly frozen,

I think "F**K", How will I get in" ( driver and passenger side were both frozen,
So next up I say "f**K it, I'll reach into the lock from the boot", all i needed to do is take the parcel shelf down,
Go to the back of the car, and strangely I've left the boot unlocked, handy I thought given it meant I could get in and out of the cold,
Then I noticed the lack of clutter in the boot, or the bag I had left on the back seat,
I close the boot and look down at the reg.........:o:o:o:o

I wouldn't mind but I've owned my Polo for 5 years, I never even paid attention to the fact that other car had hubs and I have alloys, Thankfully nobody was around but I was ashamed of myself for being so rudy stupid:)

Don't worry - that seems to be very common mistake in winter time

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xw1NIDFUdJI

Killinator

CiniO wrote: »

Don't worry - that seems to be very common mistake in winter time

Maybe its a VW thing judging by the car he's clearing up:D

At least he has the benefit of central locking, I nearly broke my key trying to unlock the other car, imagine explaining that:D

EDIT: 1000th post- describing an idiotic mistake!

CiniO

According to thread, I seem to make stupid mistakes quite often.
F.e most recent what I remember was in Poland few months ago when I was turning left at the junction on green light, and I failed to give way to cars coming from opposite side.
I don't know why, but for some reason I thought that these light were the same as Irish green arrow filter light, which lets you turn left, and traffic from other side is stopped.

My conclusion here is, that I usually make mistakes when I'm driving not really focused. Meaning that the most dangerous situations that I caused on the road, were usually within the city limites at small speeds, and the reason was that I was just thinking about something else than driving.
When I drive fast (which I like), very often above speed limit, I don't really do any mistakes, as I'm always properly focused on what I'm doing.

Chuck Stone

Wow only 40ish people aren't perfect who frequent the motors forum. It's amazing that we have any accidents at all in this country full of perfectionist drivers. :rolleyes:

Tallon

Chuck Stone wrote: »

Wow only 40ish people aren't perfect who frequent the motors forum. It's amazing that we have any accidents at all in this country full of perfectionist drivers. :rolleyes:

Yeah, not everyone wants to rave on about their non Perfection... Look I can post rolleyes too :rolleyes:

Chuck Stone

Tallon wrote: »

Look I can post rolleyes too :rolleyes:

:rolleyes:

johnos1984

Chuck Stone wrote: »

:rolleyes:

Now that I've given ultimate evil rolleyes to everybody can I admit to backing into a car in a carpark while giving the fingers to a truck that had been holding me up.

Those two fingers cost me €430 in repairs

Bigus

Changing the oil and pouring the new oil in without replacing the Bung !