Is he interested???

LegacyUser

Ok I've been texting a guy I met online [yeah I know] for over two weeks now. Im just out of a LTR and have taken it badly so I fancied something different to take my mind off it. We started messaging first and got on really well, were sending really long emails, wrote to each other twice a day, got on really well, loads in common etc. Couldnt believe my luck! He suggested meeting up and I [unused to this whole online dating thing!] said I wasnt sure, so I gave him by number instead. Ever since that we've been texting all day every day and things were going great! He suggested a date which I was very exicted about. He was being so sweet, making all these plans etc. Met up, got on great..

Next day...no text... So I decided to text him, he text back straight away, happy days!
Now I dont know whats going on... We're still texting lots but it's not really the same somehow.. Before it was all flirtly, talking about what we'll do for the date etc. He hasnt mentioned meeting up again and now im confused as to whats going on.. I mean, why would you bother texting if you werent interested? Some friends have suggested asking him to meet up but I feel I've already made the next move in texting him after the date and do not want to throw myself at him!

I know I should just get over it and forget about it or whatever, but Id like to know whats happening!

Anyone else ever found themselves in a similar situation? Thanks for reading

Colonel_McCoy

I agree with the above, it your turn to make a move and suggest something. Ring him arrange a date its not the 1950s .

LegacyUser

Hi, am a bit confused..did you have one date already and now you text each other?
Usually when I have dated someone I met online then I disregard the first meet up as a proper date. The first meet up is really just to meet in person, sometimes you think you have clicked and the other person is polite and may even say they want to meet again but doesn't make another actual date (time and place).
This not a reflection on you..he may be too busy/have an ex back on the scene/be on holiday/be still getting over last GF...in fact 100s of reasons.
I never date anyone who just texts..if a man is so casual he can't pick up the phone to date me at the start well then he is not going to improve.
I don't reply to men who just text..if I wanted a pen friend I would buy Ireland's Own.

After a first date I wait for a call to arrange the 2nd date..sometimes he is busy with life for a few days, but then he calls and I am happy to hear from him. If he takes longer than 4/5 days to call me then he isn't that keen so I accept a date from someone else. If he rings after 5 days I tell him I have plans. I don't answer if the call comes after a week. If I get a text within first 4 days I say "call me I am better on the phone" and a normal polite gent will usually call if asked. I never text after a first date except as a reply to his text, and that way I date men who are looking for something, not a pen friend.

LegacyUser

Hi Sunflower, I know it seems odd..but it works. When I first heard it I thought "how old-fashioned" but when I put it into practice it proved itself.
The onus is on the guy by a certain time because otherwise he just is not that into me.
If he likes me after a first date he will call within the first 4 days, sometimes they call the next day. Sometimes they don't call at all..but I am too busy dating someone else to notice LOL.

Texting when dating is a minefield, especially the first few weeks when you are not even boyfriend/girlfriend yet. So I avoid it by saying "I am better on the phone,call me please".
Confidence in a woman is an aphrodisiac to a man

LegacyUser

Thanks for the advice guys. I suppose im too scared to make a move because of my recent breakup, have taken lots of rejection and do not want to put myself out there like that just yet. I would be traditional enough in thinking that a man should make the first move, but more so because I like them to, not because I think a woman cant.

To Bluebird101:
Yeah we've been on one date already and have been texting since. I agree with what you've said about first meeting not being a proper date.
Like fair enough if he's got stuff on or whatever but then why bother to keep texting?

I dont think keeping to such strict rules is a good way to go though.

Liam Byrne

Bluebird101 wrote: »

Hi Sunflower, I know it seems odd..but it works. When I first heard it I thought "how old-fashioned" but when I put it into practice it proved itself.
The onus is on the guy by a certain time because otherwise he just is not that into me.

Game-playing. OP - avoid at all costs.

There is absolutely no "onus" on anyone to ring or text, and a guy could just as easily think "she's not that into me".

Sometimes I believe that the "Venus vs Mars" doesn't clarify the gulf enough.

MrMojoRising

OP - I was in a very similar situation.
I met a girl online - swapped numbers. Texted everyday. Was always very flirty, and very suggestive texts. We then met up for a date and had a great time.

However.... I didn't fancy her. There was no attraction there. I didn't text her the next day... but she eventually texted me. I always replied back as I liked her and didn't want to come across rude, but I left any sorty of flirty stuff out of it. I got the feeling from her texts that she wanted me to suggest another date, but I never did. Maybe I should have been straight up with her, but I didn't want to be rude, or hurt her feelings, so the texting just continued on. Eventually it just fizzled out.

If I were you, I'd just ask him does he want to meet up again. You'll get your answer then. Good luck!