Money problems

LegacyUser

I am a single woman and my family - mother and brothers mean the world to me. They can get on my nerves at times but I would go to hell and back to help them. Just like other families we have felt the brunt of this recession.

One sibling is unempoyed. Something proped up which I feel may be a problem. He came to me and asked for a loan which he needs to help him gain employment. Living in rural Ireland the bus service is poor and he needs a car. The line of work he is experienced in would normally fall outside of the typical 9 to 5 working day, so he would need a car. I said I would help him but I had not realisied how low my savings are until I checked today. Once these savings are gone, although I am working, I would be finished because paying rent, bills, etc I do fall back on them from time to time. Although I trust him there is a niggling fear at the back of my mind. He has been unemployed for the past year and made no progress at trying to find work. He never tried.

tenchi-fan

Tell him when he gets a job you will help him find his feet as much as you can, but at the moment you cannot afford to give him money.

It sounds like he's just lazy. He wants the convenience of a car & is using it as an excuse for not having work. The fact is, he doesn't need a car for jobhunting.

You said "the line of work that he's in..." he's unemployed! He should consider a different line of work, and also a different city or even different country. Buying a car could end up restricting his options.

SheRa

Please listen to your gut and dont give him any money. Leaving aside that he may not ever be able to pay it back to you, or that he has asked you for money when you are struggling, this is your back up money. What if you give it to him and then (hopefully it doesn't happen) but you or one of the kids needs to go to the doctor or your car breaks down, or the fridge or the heating goes on the blink and you dont have the money to pay for it? It could spiral into a bad situation very quickly for you.

I agree with techni-fan, he may wish to be in one line of work, but he needs to broaden his search and look for work that is 9to5, that will suit the bus route.

Fentdog84

Just tell him you dont have it. Its your savings, your money and you dont know if you'll get it back, as often happens with family members loaning money. There is nothing wrong with him asking as such but dont feel obliged to give him this money that one day you may need yourself.

irishdude11

Dont be taken for a mug. Why cant he get a loan off the bank or credit union?? That's right, because they know that he would be very high risk not to pay it back. So he goes looking for your money. And guess what? Because your family you have even less chance of getting it back, precisely because you are family, and you will have literally no legal recourse if he cant be bothered paying it back. The cheek of him asking you to buy him a car.

thefeatheredcat

moneywoman wrote: »

He came to me and asked for a loan which he needs to help him gain employment. Living in rural Ireland the bus service is poor and he needs a car. The line of work he is experienced in would normally fall outside of the typical 9 to 5 working day, so he would need a car.

It's great that you have taken his situation and are considering this but I would be wary - when it comes to family lending money to eachother, it often goes without saying it's money you will never see again depending on the type of person they are (i've been there enough times with my sister to know any money given I'll never see again).

Is there a chance that they might have already approached banks/credit unions/other family members and been told no? chances are if has already gone to a bank/credit union, would have to have someone go guarantor on the loan.

If it is the case that your brother is somewhat unreliable with money and you think that it's unlikely you'll get the money back, then don't part with what is rightly yours that you have earned, because should you ever need that money for yourself when something unexpected comes up, chances are he may not be quick to cough up money he doesn't have and is already spent.

In saying that, if he's in the situation that he has to ask family for money for a car, how is he supposing that he pays for the car tax, insurance and petrol while still unemployed and looking for a job?

It's nice to be kind and generous with money that you can spare it, and even fantastic to loan money to help somebody get back on their feet and into employment, but don't feel obligated that you have to do so if it means that you put yourself in financial difficulty as a result especially if it should turn out a situation crops up that you can't afford but that due to situations your family/friends face, they may not be able to help you out financially should the need arise.