PSN is down? Kevin Butler explains

Tallon

Hope the mods are ok with this

Taken from here

Below is your own PSN Libs entry. Seems like Sony's putting out a different apology every other day, so we thought we'd let you have a crack at letting out your inner-Kevin Butler. Copy and paste your own version of a PSN apology into the comments below. You won't win anything, but with the PSN down so it's not like you have anything better to do.

Dear PlayStation _____________,

We here at Sony just feel _____________ about everything that's been happening. As you know, since April 20th, the PlayStation Network has been _____________ because _____________ got in and stole your email, phone number, and _____________. Since then, we've been working really _____________ to rebuild the PlayStation Network and make it _____________ than ever.

Of course, it's not a _____________ process. There are all sorts of nuts, bolts and _____________ that make up digital security here on the Internet, and we just didn't expect this to be so _____________ and _____________. We hope the month of PlayStation Plus we're offering you when the PSN returns on _____________ will be enough to get you back on the PlayStation bandwagon.

I know that things have been bad recently, but _____________ me, things are going to get better.

Beyond!
Kevin Butler
VP of _____________

EXAMPLE OF HOW TO BE KEVIN BUTLER

Now, post yours below...

richymcdermott

Dear PlayStation ______owner_______,

We here at Sony just feel ___great__________ about everything that's been happening. As you know, since April 20th, the PlayStation Network has been ____down_________ because ______parasites_______ got in and stole your email, phone number, and ___women__________. Since then, we've been working really ____slow_________ to rebuild the PlayStation Network and make it ____worse_________ than ever.

Of course, it's not a ___hard__________ process. There are all sorts of nuts, bolts and ____silly string_________ that make up digital security here on the Internet, and we just didn't expect this to be so _____cool________ and ___awesome__________. We hope the month of PlayStation Plus we're offering you when the PSN returns on _____judgement day________ will be enough to get you back on the PlayStation bandwagon.

I know that things have been bad recently, but ____believe_________ me, things are going to get worse.

Beyond!
Kevin Butler
VP of ___security__________

Hellrazer

Took a small bit of creative liberty


Dear PlayStation owned ooops owner
We here at Sony just feel absolutely useless regarding everything that's been happening. As you know, since April 20th, the PlayStation Network has been fooked because some techno geeks who know more about programming than our own techno geeks got in and stole your email, phone number, and life. Since then, we've been working even more uselessly to rebuild the PlayStation Network and make it generate us more more money than it ever did.

Of course, it's not a nice process. There are all sorts of nuts, bolts and doo-dahs that make up digital security here on the Internet, and we just didn't expect this to be so easy for them to gain access to and steal your life. We hope the month of PlayStation Plus we're offering you when the PSN returns on December 2012(assuming earth will still be here then and the Mayans are wrong) will be enough to get you back on the PlayStation bandwagon.

I know that things have been bad recently, but fook me, I really hope things are going to get better.

Beyond!
Kevin Butler
VP of _____________

Dear PlayStation ,

We here at Sony just feel testicles about everything that's been happening. As you know, since April 20th, the PlayStation Network has been arseraped because yore ma got in and stole your email, phone number, and boobs. Since then, we've been working really slow to rebuild the PlayStation Network and make it breastier than ever.

Of course, it's not a penis process. There are all sorts of nuts, bolts and shafts that make up digital security here on the Internet, and we just didn't expect this to be so hard and spunky. We hope the month of PlayStation Plus we're offering you when the PSN returns on period day will be enough to get you back on the PlayStation bandwagon.

I know that things have been bad recently, but **** me, things are going to get better.

Beyond!
Kevin Butler
VP of Vaginas

landsleaving

with the PSN down so it's not like you have anything better to do.

Sometimes I feel like the only person left playing single player games...

And what a time to be that person! :cool:

Also Xyz, fine effort, didn't want to try top that, I'm not nearly as hilariously immature as that! :pac: Boobies!

duffman13

Dear PlayStation user,

We here at Sony just feel **** about everything that's been happening. As you know, since April 20th, the PlayStation Network has been bollixed because some w@nkers got in and stole your email, phone number, and your virginity. Since then, we've been working really slowly to rebuild the PlayStation Network and make it more noob friendly than ever.

Of course, it's not a difficultprocess. There are all sorts of nuts, bolts and idiots that make up digital security here on the Internet, and we just didn't expect this to be so much fun playing xbox and hope to soon get to the tenth prestige in MW2 so we can fix the PSN. We hope the month of PlayStation Plus we're offering you when the PSN returns on the day of the champions league final will be enough to get you back on the PlayStation bandwagon.

I know that things have been bad recently, but fuk it im off to work for microsoft and believeme, things are going to get better.

Beyond!
Kevin Butler
VP of Xbox Live Security

Suspiria79

This thread isn't funny at all

landsleaving

Suspiria79 wrote: »

This thread isn't funny at all

PSN outage really gettin to ya?

It's been tough for all of us. Johnny got it the worst, sargeant was too hard on 'im, he just cracked up. Never seen anyone as bad as he was. VC were comin' in and he just ran man, ran for his damn life, couldn't handle it. The shouting, the shooting just, the war man. Fell over a tripwire and boom - that was it. I've seen things you wouldn't believe out here, it makes you crazy... being... offline.

Suspiria79

landsleaving wrote: »

PSN outage really gettin to ya?

It's been tough for all of us. Johnny got it the worst, sargeant was too hard on 'im, he just cracked up. Never seen anyone as bad as he was. VC were comin' in and he just ran man, ran for his damn life, couldn't handle it. The shouting, the shooting just, the war man. Fell over a tripwire and boom - that was it. I've seen things you wouldn't believe out here, it makes you crazy... being... offline.

Using xbox live all along so PSN being down isn't getting to me at all. The internet humour lately leaves a lot to be desired, though. Terrible stuff, altogether.

Tallon

Suspiria79 wrote: »

This thread isn't funny at all

Great... That means it's working!

Ban Ki Moon

Dear PlayStation sucker,
We here at Sony just feel our sisters nowdays and tell them about everything that's been happening. As you know, since April 20th, the PlayStation Network has been un networking because Ethan Mars(from Heavy Rain) got in and stole your email, phone number, and sister. Since then, we've been working really like all day and stuff to rebuild the PlayStation Network and make it more networking than ever.

Of course, it's not a HIGH process. There are all sorts of nuts, bolts and nerds that make up digital security here on the Internet, and we just didn't expect this to be so not interesting and like oh my god. We hope the month of PlayStation Plus we're offering you when the PSN returns on Pluto first then Earth will be enough to get you back on the PlayStation bandwagon.

I know that things have been bad recently, but get high with me, things are going to get better.

Beyond!
Kevin Butler
VP of Me

HigginsJ

Dear PlayStation Cash-Cow,
We here at Sony just feel broke about everything that's been happening. As you know, since April 20th, the PlayStation Network has not been taking your hard earned cash because we fired Tom in accounts and he got back in and stole your email, phone number, and alot of our money. Since then, we've been working really blindly in the dark to rebuild the PlayStation Network and make it more cash absorbant than ever.

Of course, it's not an interesting process. There are all sorts of nuts, bolts and other things we dont understand that make up digital security here on the Internet, and we just didn't expect this to be so something Tom from accounts would know and understand. We hope the month of PlayStation Plus we're offering you when the PSN returns on June 6th (when we hope to re-hire Tom) will be enough to get you back on the PlayStation bandwagon.

I know that things have been bad recently, but spend your money with me, things are going to get better.

Beyond!
Kevin Butler
VP of Cash-Cow Inc (Sorry meant PSN)