After 17 years, I found out my mother committed suicide, how do I deal with this?

LegacyUser

I don't know what to say about this really. I've known for the last 17 years that my mother died in a car accident. Just over a year ago now, I went to see a psychiatrist to evaluate my mental state and as she went through my family details, she said that my mother committed suicide. I told her that must be wrong because I knew that she died in a car accident. My brother was waiting outside the room for me and when he came back in and the psychiatrist left the room to talk to the head doctor from her team about my case, I asked my brother about my mother and he said that it must've been a mistake because that didn't happen. I was still uneasy about it so when I got home, I asked my dad about it and he confirmed it. I can't express in words how I felt about it and how I feel about it now. My dad said that my mother never wanted me or siblings to know that she did. She had been in a car accident that was two months before she died and that she wanted us to believe thats how she died. I already have been going through depression for the last few years because of some other personal issues. Over the last year, I have been going through my first rejection from a girl that I really liked and I haven't been able to understand why things didn't work out between us and whenever I see her in my local town (I live in a small town), it shatters me inside. Its been months since I've been rejected but my feelings won't fade and I still feel horrible when I see her. I don't what else to say, I'm tearing up and finding difficulty breathing as I'm writing all this. Its just all leading me to one solution, suicide.

sashafierce

This post has been deleted.

gossipgal08

www.console.ie

Ickle Magoo

Hi there

I appreciate this must have been an awful shock for you - if you are feeling at all suicidal then you must tell a qualified professional, we are neither allowed to, nor qualified to, give you appropriate advice.

Please contact your GP asap if you feel in any way inclined to be a threat to your health or life - you may find some useful contacts [URL=" http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=70677479&postcount=3"]here[/URL] in the meantime.

I hope you can get some empathy and support on this forum but this thread cannot remain open if you make threat against your own life, for your own safety and the benefit of those who may post in response.

All the very best

Ickle

the_syco

If you want to talk to someone, maybe talk to the Samaritans @ 1850 60 90 90 or visit them @ http://www.dublinsamaritans.ie

Corkblowin

Its hard tough at times OP, but the others have given you some good advice and people you can talk to. Just remember the saying 'suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem' it can feel impossible at times, but trust me you can and will get through it, I know. Good luck

kingelmo

Suicide is not the answer... simple as that..

I was told for 16 years that my father died of natural causes to find out that he really did comitte suicide!! It has broken my heart growing up with our a father and yes there are bad days but there are people there to help you!!

Look how upset your family and you were when your mother done it!! WHat way will they be if they lost another familt member to it!!

Talk to someone there is no need to be ashamed of how your feeling!!

Everything wil brighten up for you just confide in someone

LegacyUser

13 years ago my Mother committed suicide. I am so sorry for your loss, It's not an easy thing to deal with. For some reason instead of saying that she committed suicide, I have said that it was a car accident. I just didn't feel comfortable talking about it. I'm not saying it was right of your family to keep the truth from you. I just think they did it for you, to try and protect you from the truth. For so long I felt almost ashamed in a weird way to say that my Mother killed herself. There is such a stigma attached to suicide and people react in weird ways sometimes when they find out. I just thought maybe it would comfort you to know that your not alone. Just know that your family wasn't trying to hurt you. You had lost your mother and that is bad enough as is, let alone dealing with the fact that you lost her due to suicide. Again, I am so sorry for your loss.