The lonely sting of rejection!!

araic88

I'm annoyed with myself for being so disappointed but can't help it!

Met a guy a few weeks ago who I found attractive though he was a bit drunk so I didn't make much of all his compliments etc. Anyway he asked for my number and texted quite a lot over the next few days, seeming really keen to meet up. I was going away for a little while so we agreed to meet up one evening. I really didn't expect much and wouldn't have minded if it ended at that but then we seemed to get on really well for the "first date" and HE mentioned meeting up again. He was really generous on the date so I texted later (probably shouldnt have?!) saying something like thanks for this evening, let me know if you'd like to meet up sometime next week, have a good weekend. He texted straight back saying he was looking forward to it.
But never texted.
At all.
It has been well over a week now, and at the insistence of friends I sent a random text today to see what would happen.
No reply.
Sniff, oh I wish I hadn't liked him! How can one gender cause so much confusion and emotion! :rolleyes:

Freiheit

Aw I'm really sorry for you!:)....so many songs have been inspired by unrequitted love,by hurt,we've all been there (well 99% of us anyway) your not alone....In time I'm sure you'l meet someone interesting again and maybe who will stick around longer.

rainbow kirby

Moved from tLL to RI.

Villette

Rejection is tough...even when it's relatively slight.
Still, I think you were right to text him, there's nothing wrong in letting someone know you enjoyed the date!
I just think that if people were more honest the rejection would be easier. If he hadn't said anything about seeing you again, and then in the reply if had just said he had a nice time, have a good weekend etc

Having said that, he might still reply!

beks101

Yeah it sucks. You just have to sit it out to be honest. I know you're disappointed and feel unattractive and worthless and felt like this guy was different, but they're all feelings that will fade sooner than you realise right now.

After all you haven't known this guy a long time and deep down you know that you deserve better than the inconsistencies he's offering, so just hang in there and before you know it you'll be stronger for it! Dating is a tough business and you can be sure that even the hottest, smartest, sexiest most confident person you know has had a knock-back like this, so try not to take it personally x

LegacyUser

You were totally right to text him, I'm a dude and a girl texting thanks/or to scope out the situation is fine and pretty much what we want, it's our indicator to know if you're actually interested.

It's easy to tell if we're interested, we'll push to set up that second or third date c; so in this case sorry that he didn't bother.

You just need to take the mindset it's his loss, when women I really like flake out on dates I just see it as their loss (told a few as much haha) and move on to meeting new people!

ash23

araic88 wrote: »

I texted later (probably shouldnt have?!) saying something like thanks for this evening, let me know if you'd like to meet up sometime next week, have a good weekend. He texted straight back saying he was looking forward to it.
But never texted.
At all.

I'm confused. You asked him if he wanted to meet up sometime next week. He said yes. Why was it then his "turn" to text again? You should have texted him and told him when and where in my opinion.

How long did you leave it before you sent another text? And what did you say in the text?

If a guy asked me to let him know if I wanted to meet up, and I said Yes, I'm looking forward to it, then I'd expect him to give me the particulars or ask which night suited me.

What exactly was in the "random text"?

Motley Crue

These text messages will be the death of us all, thank God I've a good girl who doesn't bother with that nonsense lol

Kevin Duffy

araic88 wrote: »

How can one gender cause so much confusion and emotion! :rolleyes:

Yes, 'cos no woman has ever behaved anything like this...

Maple

araic88 wrote: »

Sniff, oh I wish I hadn't liked him! How can one gender cause so much confusion and emotion! :rolleyes:

Kevin Duffy wrote: »

Yes, 'cos no woman has ever behaved anything like this...

Ok folks, lets not have this thread dragged off topic by a gender debate.

Maple

Kevin Duffy

Maple wrote: »

Ok folks, lets not have this thread dragged off topic by a gender debate.

Maple

Apologies, I did have a point, but I made it lazily and facetiously. My bad.

araic88

ash23 wrote: »

I'm confused. You asked him if he wanted to meet up sometime next week. He said yes. Why was it then his "turn" to text again? You should have texted him and told him when and where in my opinion.
How long did you leave it before you sent another text? And what did you say in the text?
If a guy asked me to let him know if I wanted to meet up, and I said Yes, I'm looking forward to it, then I'd expect him to give me the particulars or ask which night suited me.

Well checking the actual text, I said to let me know if he was free some day the following week and would like to meet up. He said looking forward to it but didn't suggest any day. I got the impression the ball was out of my court somewhat Like I wasn't going to follow saying "So? Are you free Monday then? Tuesday???" I get your point and have no problem texting first unless I feel I did already!
The other "curiosity" text was over a week later, not about meeting up just generally asking about an event I knew he'd been to. He didn't reply anyway!
Lol sorry 'Kevin Duffy' I actually didn't realise there was a Relationship Issues forum (and it took me ages to find it even when I knew it was there somewhere!) My post was moved from the Ladies Lounge, where I think there's more acceptable to gender rant? (like TGC!)

Maple

OP, just to clarify that it's against the charter of both TGC and TLL to have a rant about the opposite sex.

Maple

araic88

I'll retreat to my mind so Maple
Anyway, my day of misery is over, life's too short & these long evenings are too nice for moping :pac:
Thanks for some of those lovely replies though!

Maple

Cool, if you feel your issue resolved and would like the thread locked please just let one of the mods know.

All the best,

Maple

amybabes

Like my reply to another thread in this forum,

Chin up sweetheart, men are F*****n crazy!
Seriously, i thought girls were bad! Pffffft!

neveah

I've been in a similiar situation, met this guy who was friends with one of my friends boyfriends. Had a bit of a smooch on a night out and then he took my number, added me on facebook and asked me out on a date. He did all the pursuing and seemed keen. I was unsure about him but I thought what the hell I'll go on the date anyway and see how it goes. We met up, had a nice night I thought, he kissed me again. When I got home he texted me saying how gorgeous I was and how beautiful I looked that night (positive signals I thought, right??), I texted him back saying I had a good night too......and then I never heard another word from him again! Ok so obviously I didn't float his boat but why did he text saying those things after the date and why did he kiss me if he wasn't interested??? I was so confused about the whole thing

He recently deleted me from facebook, fine if that's what he wants but we are more than likely going to run into each other again as our friends are going out with each other, that'll be awkward :P
Anyway OP just want to let you know that this kinda stuff happens all the time. Brush it off as an experience.

Maple

amybabes wrote: »

Like my reply to another thread in this forum,

Chin up sweetheart, men are F*****n crazy!
Seriously, i thought girls were bad! Pffffft!

Infracted.

Maple.

amybabes

Seriously!? Jeez gotta watch what u say around here it seems!

Liam Byrne

The "probably shouldn't have" would ring alarm bells for me; there's nothing wrong with letting someone know that you're interested, as long as it's in proportion to how often ye've met, etc, which your text seemed to be.

But everything else being equal, it's his loss because you're not a game-player.

That said, someone can genuinely have a great night and reckon someone's a great person but not feel "enough" to meet up again.

I'd still reckon someone you've had a nice night with deserves the respect of a reply one way or the other, though.

It's not "rejection", and shouldn't be viewed as such....it's just "life". Try not to take it so personally, especially as ye only met once......if that came across at any stage then the "I'd run with this, but there's a chance I'd do damage as she seems to into the idea too quickly" would kick in and he's not gonna risk it.

Maple

amybabes wrote: »

Seriously!? Jeez gotta watch what u say around here it seems!

Banned 2 weeks

Maple

Young_gunner

Liam Byrne wrote: »

The "probably shouldn't have" would ring alarm bells for me; there's nothing wrong with letting someone know that you're interested, as long as it's in proportion to how often ye've met, etc, which your text seemed to be.

But everything else being equal, it's his loss because you're not a game-player.

That said, someone can genuinely have a great night and reckon someone's a great person but not feel "enough" to meet up again.

I'd still reckon someone you've had a nice night with deserves the respect of a reply one way or the other, though.

It's not "rejection", and shouldn't be viewed as such....it's just "life". Try not to take it so personally, especially as ye only met once......if that came across at any stage then the "I'd run with this, but there's a chance I'd do damage as she seems to into the idea too quickly" would kick in and he's not gonna risk it.

agree with every word of this...
rejection is tough to take at a pt in time but it can fade quite quickly.

onwards and upwards!

Wompa1

amybabes wrote: »

Seriously!? Jeez gotta watch what u say around here it seems!

There was a warning about the whole gender debate thing before you posted...probably should have read more carefully.

On topic though, I bet the guy feels just as slighted as you OP...you put the date suggestion forward...he replied and said looking forward to it. You should have text him again when you knew a night that suited.