Friend only interested in one thing and I made one mistake

karaokeman

Sorry to rant but thanks in advance to anyone willing to take time from their day to help me with this.

I have a friend whose addicted to playing Yu-Gi-Oh, which is a trading card game. When I'm at his house, we would watch a DVD for about 10 minutes and when were just getting into it he asks "can we have a game please?".

He says please in such a persuasive tone I feel compelled to say yes. Problem is I enjoy playing Yu-Gi-Oh for short periods maybe 30 minutes and then do something else, but usually he just wants to play it for 3-4 hours and rarely do we do anything else.

When I ask him would he like to do other things like go on the internet etc. he says no thanks as if I was asking if he's in great pain.

There was also one time he accidently left his Yu-Gi-Oh cards at my house and accused me of stealing. I swear this was not the case because I'm really not that type of person, but I feel this was another example of him trying to put the blame on me.

I've played Yu-Gi-Oh cards with him for 5-6 years now. I told him I'm getting tired of it because we never do anything else. He didn't tell me how this made him feel but he asked me to look at a picture online, which turned out to be a car driving away (as if he was saying he didn't want to be friends with me anymore).

This happened before about 4 years ago and he said he wanted to come to my house and do something only he enjoyed. We later made up for it and from there on I continued playing the game with him. But now, I'm tired of doing just Yu-Gi-Oh with him again.

From the examples I listed, he seems to think our friendship is dependent on the game, which I think is completely silly. He recently told me I'm like a particular card because I can choose to remove people from my life if I wish.

Thing is, I wasn't trying to remove him from my life by saying I'm tired of playing Yu-Gi-Oh. That was a natural reaction. He told me other things about my personality. He didn't say them in straight English he just used metaphors and asked me to keep guessing. I got slightly irritated by this when it became too much and I slightly rose my voice while speaking on the phone.

He called me rude for speaking slightly louder than usual and said he didn't want to be my friend. I've apologized but he still doesn't seem to see my POV about only doing one thing as friends.

I really want to get this off my mind because I feel like a douchebag and worried he will tell his mam stuff about me thats not true at all. I have a very bad habit of worrying about what other people think about me and I'm really worried this will distract me from my exams this June (Leaving Cert).

One last thing, we both have Aspergers Syndrome. So really he should understand me a little better than he's making himself out to.

tinkerbell

Didn't you already start a thread a while back about this same guy who gets mad if you won't have sleepovers in his house with him and he only wants to do things his way and nobody else's?

He doesn't sound like a friend, he doesn't seem to be interested at all in what you think so just drop him as a friend. Anyway, you should be putting all your stressing and energy into your Leaving Cert, not a guy who's not even a real friend.

karaokeman

Yes I did start a similar thread but I realised this was the bigger issue so I started a new one.

I'm worried he will tell his mam I'm a jerk. I have terrible habits, worrying about what other people think of me.

Ickle Magoo

Did you take on board any of the advice given last time because this seems to be the same issue dressed up differently - your friend wants to do something you don't and won't take no for an answer. Your friendship sounds like an awful lot of hard work - why no find some more friends? At the very least distance yourself from this guy until they accept that what you want to do or don't want to do is as important as what they want/don't want. So what if he tells him mum something - you are in your twenties, what someone makes up to tell their mum should affect your decisions...

inexperienced

hey, given that he has also got ASD, i think the card game is one of his obsessions.

op, do you know wheter you are the only one who play the card game with u? can you introduce him some other people who also play the card game? are they any club or society that your friend can join to find someone who likes the card game to a level as his? maybe you can search this information out together with him so he knows you are also helping him.

for ur mam, i dont think you need to worry though. explain to her what happened and she would understand.

Miss Fluff

Ickle Magoo wrote: »

this seems to be the same issue dressed up differently - your friend wants to do something you don't and won't take no for an answer.

Agreed. Fundamentally this is the same issue OP, you're friend is a bully who becomes aggressive and threatening when you won't do what he wants and in his way. While I appreciate ou both have Aspergers in common, that in itself is not a good enough reason to stay friends. You have your Leaving Cert coming up now so this type of worry is unncessary and a waste of time. If he can't compromise with you then don't continue to pander to his every move, than then makes you a doormat.

Esoteric_

Hey OP,

I do think it's his aspie's playing a part in it, because he sounds exactly like one of the girls I know who has asperger's. Look, there's not much you can do to sort this out if he's not willing to listen, but don't worry about him saying anything to his mam. Even if he does, it's not your problem.

Just focus on your leaving cert and try not to worry. I know it's easy for me to say that but there really isn't much more advice I can give.

ALso, I have a friend (with asperger's) who does hang out days with a group of friends who all have asperger's and he works for aspire. If you would like to get in touch to make some more friends in a way that's easy and comfortable for you, just send me a message and I'll pass on his number to you

Kevin Duffy

Hi OP, as far as anything that your friend might say to his mother goes, I wouldn't worry about it, she's his mother so I'm sure she knows what his habits are by now and knows when not to listen to him.