when do you stop listening....?

CarrieAnne

So I know I am cranky..... but ten years on.... I am so tired of listening to the complaining....

A good friend, a great girl, who has her fair share of troubles, but who doesn't.... We all do..... But I am so done now, after years and years of listening, and being the shoulder to lean on... I can not listen or be lent on of brought down anymore...
I can not listen to another "oh poor me" story,,,,yes there are health issues, fertility struggles, difficult families.... its years on, be thankful for what you have, like us all and get on with it.....

I know that might make me a b****.....
but so be it....


Anyone else tired of listening....

or am i the only one who is cranky??????????

Stheno

moved from tLL

CarrieAnne

SORRY!

The Princess Bride

Wish I could give you better advice than this - take a step back.
Maybe you are a good listener, and she sees this.
I've been there with a friend like yours and 2 years ago had to step back as I was dreading the text,the phonecall, the meeting.....it was constant me,me,me......

Ask yourself what she brings to the friendship.If it's more negative than positive, then move on.

CarrieAnne

I feel awful, I don't want to let her down..... But as you say, I tense about the next call or text or.... whatever.....

AND I am afraid if I do continue to answer the calls, I will eventually just say Ok Girlie time to get on with it....

Thanks for replying....

Ickle Magoo

No, you aren't the only one.

I'd agree with msthe80s that sometimes it comes down to a rather crass calculation regarding how much you get from the relationship Vs how much you give and making a decision as to whether it's one you make an effort to distance yourself from just so you aren't their first port of call.

Some people love drama and love moaning, if you aren't one of them then give yourself a break and avoid those that do.

All the best. :cool:

IrishEyes19

Depends on the level of moaning, OP, as in if every night out or meet up is ruined because the same level of negativity is brought with her every time. Ive had my fair share of that experience too, and it has ruined evenings, mainly because you run out of advice or things to say, theres not much you can say after repeating the same spiel everytime, but is your friend possibly depressed perhaps or has very low self esteem, that can be a huge factor also.

IrishEyes19

A friend of mine had a similiar experience and she cut the friend off completely after years of it, because it became too much. She had no choice, now obviously you cant do this straight away, but maybe gradually, just to give yourself some breathing space.

The Princess Bride

Ickle Magoo wrote: »

No, you aren't the only one.

I'd agree with msthe80s that sometimes it comes down to a rather crass calculation regarding how much you get from the relationship Vs how much you give and making a decision as to whether it's one you make an effort to distance yourself from just so you aren't their first port of call.

Some people love drama and love moaning


I agree - we all know a few. if you've had a headache, they've had a brain tumour......

Try changing the subject next time you talk( if it gets moany),be positive and see what happens.
be happy:) and good luck...( off to my leaba !)

thefeatheredcat

No you're not the only one. It's great to be able to offer the shoulder to cry on, support, the listening ear, but when it comes to the point where you feel over-burdened with it all... well you might ask yourself are you just a free counsellor for them to leave their troubles with or are you their friend?

Don't let yourself be taken for granted that you're always there to listen and help otherwise it could become the basis of the connection for that purpose

If there is a real friendship where you have enjoyable fulfilling friendship, and wish to still enjoy that, take a step back from having them lean on you or indeed, change the subject as already suggested