686 Words on a girl im crazy about x

neiler987

Whoever reads this has probably heard a similiar story a few times before but here we go anyways
I have just a little problem.

Theres this girl that i really like and admire and shes very attractive as well but i havn't met her yet in person anyways.

we were texting regularly from july last year (kind of not as much recently because shes busy with her LC)

weve also had a good few chats on the phone as well
Thing is shes so goddamn pretty and beauitful that im afraid and i know other lads will want her. Im not horrible looking like im alright i suppose. Go the gym few times but not extremely built or anything.

This sounds pitiful but in a text i kind of asked her in way like when she comes up here for college that we meet up a few times spend a bit time together and take it from there and maybe a relationship.
She said yeah that would be cool as long as me and her took things slowly. But im not sure if she was just saying that to fob me off that she hasnt got any intention of meeting up with me even dont mind thinking about a relationship.
Not in a bad or spiteful way but to save my feelings from being hurt. Shes so caring and thoughtful in that respect.
I think that because there have a few times where we could have met up but she kind of gives me a bad excuse.
EG i told her that i can drive down to her but she said no because theres nothing to do in the area she lives in. I text back saying i dont mind about whether or not theres stuff to do in your area i wouldnt be going to see your area id be going down to see you. Shes also in dublin once every few weeks and has made no attempt to meet up. THIS PUTS THE DOUBTS IN MY MIND ;( !!!

Emm were kind of quite similar. Same music and sport tastes. We both love having a laugh and going out and about. Im studying accountancy she wants to study business thats another thing in common and we both want to do really well in life.

Shes had two relationships before one done the dirt the other shes friends with. Could that be a factor in seeing/not seeing me ???? The one shes friends with lives in dublin ??. I havnt had a relationship with anyone yet. I kind of conceed that shes the "right girl" for me.

Shes only gone 18 and coming up here for college in september so ive an idea that she doesnt want to be committed to a relationship with anyone its her 1st year of college so she ll want to be free single and go nuts which is understandable i guess.

i dont want to pour my heart out to the girl because i dont want to come across as being clingy and desperate although she is very mature so she might understand.

if a few lads read this which they will they ll read the 1st few lines and probably laugh but i just dont care. I dont care if people think im a freak and have problems for writing over 600 words on an irish website about a girl im crazy about.

oh and btw she put up modelling pictures of herself on her facebook today and for five minutes i just sat there and thought to myself and said ive got no chance with her.. so thats what made me write this i suppose well that and that this situation has been bugging me for about 2-3 months now. I just felt i had to get this off my chest but i couldn't and still cant bring myself to tell anyone thats close to me.

Any comments or advice on what i should or shouldn't do or even if you just take the time to read the thing would be very much appreciated thanks.

Fentdog84

Dude, I hate to dampen your spirits but if you want to hook up with this girl, you need to cool it. You will scare her off talking like that. She hasnt even agreed to meet up with you yet. It sounds like she is making excuses not to or she is unsure about you. You dont want her thinking you are a headbanger. I know you are jumping out of your skin, but it dosent work like that, you need to act more subtle. Otherwise she'll run to hills. If she thinks you are a great guy AND a cool guy she'll will want to hook up. Good luck

neiler987

Fentdog84 wrote: »

You will scare her off talking like that. She hasnt even agreed to meet up with you yet. It sounds like she is making excuses not to or she is unsure about you. You dont want her thinking you are a headbanger. I know you are jumping out of your skin, but it dosent work like that, you need to act more subtle. Otherwise she'll run to hills. If she thinks you are a great guy AND a cool guy she'll will want to hook up. Good luck

Well obviously i wouldnt tell her all this and what i feel about her like yeno

what you think she is unsure about me over what like in your opinion ?

thanks i need it

gubbie

I think your "We have things in common" is clutching at straws. I never found that having loads/nothing in common to be particularly important in a relationship. I think when you said you'd drive down to see her, she responded with a "There isn't much to do" meaning "I wouldn't know what to do with you all day long".

We both love having a laugh

I can't wait to meet the person who doesn't like having a laugh. It's the new "I like having fun" from early 90's video dating services.

Oh and I agree with the above. Cool it. Girls freak out very easily and when you're 18 you freak out crazily. Like a guy saying hello to you makes you think that they like you - you should go check the personals in yahoo answers for examples of these.

IrishEyes19

Hi, OP, I think you need to relax and bit, or you'll overwhelm the girl. You sound a little over obsessed I have to say and that could freak her out a little bit. Also whats the age difference here, that could be a factor for her as well.

ted1

dude honestly. I'd move on sounds like it ain't going to happen. These things do happen in life and your going to have learn to feck with it. It can be hard but feeling pity for yourself helps No one

neiler987

gubbie wrote: »

I think your "We have things in common" is clutching at straws. I never found that having loads/nothing in common to be particularly important in a relationship. I think when you said you'd drive down to see her, she responded with a "There isn't much to do" meaning "I wouldn't know what to do with you all day long".



I can't wait to meet the person who doesn't like having a laugh. It's the new "I like having fun" from early 90's video dating services.

Oh and I agree with the above. Cool it. Girls freak out very easily and when you're 18 you freak out crazily. Like a guy saying hello to you makes you think that they like you - you should go check the personals in yahoo answers for examples of these.

Yeah i suppose your right there but like if she really really wanted to see me should it not matter too much were abouts she sees me like im sure there would be 1 or 2 places to go at least. I was thinking she was saying that to avoid me driving down to see her like.

Nah in my view its important to have at least a few things in common with someone u want to be with or it helps anyways.. but everyone differs i suppose

okay thanks for the advice

neiler987

IrishEyes19 wrote: »

Hi, OP, I think you need to relax and bit, or you'll overwhelm the girl. You sound a little over obsessed I have to say and that could freak her out a little bit. Also whats the age difference here, that could be a factor for her as well.

okay thanks ..a little ??? i think i am a lot actually

im 19 - a year and a bit.. i dont think its got anything to do with age

neiler987

ted1 wrote: »

dude honestly. I'd move on sounds like it ain't going to happen. These things do happen in life and your going to have learn to feck with it. It can be hard but feeling pity for yourself helps No one

Well why in your opinion it sounds like it aint going to happen ?????

Not annoyed or anything just wondering

neiler987

sunflower27 wrote: »

Hi OP

Put it this way, if she sent you a message saying she wanted to see you, you wouldn't fob her off, would you?

There is nothing wrong with falling for a girl, but if it is not reciprocated, you are better cutting your losses. I don't know what will happen in the future, but I think you would appear far more attractive to her if she knew you weren't there waiting for her to make her mind up about meeting.

As hard as it is, put her out of your mind... get on with your life and let her make some effort if she wants to see you

But she did we arranged to meet up last november but we didnt in the end because she was in town and i went in but she had to leave and go home early.. the strange thing was she got very very annoyed and flustrated with herself because she couldnt see me... i text her saying to relax and calm down and not to worry about it because there would be other opportunities for us to meet up.. so thats the closest ive gotten to have seen her.

Thanks but its not easy as u make it out to be.. I havnt texted her in a month trying to get her out of my mind... its not working though !

neiler987

would anyone not think there might be some way/chance for me to win her heart somehow ?

neiler987

sunflower27 wrote: »

She has had months to meet you. You are hanging on to a dream. If someone is really into you, or wants to pursue a relationship, they don't put you on a backburner for months.

I know it isn't easy, but what is the other option, waiting around for another three, four months?

Unrequited love is the pits, but hanging on in there in hope doesn't help at all. I think you have to accept the facts

Yeah i understand were your coming from..

i probably shouldve said this in my opening comment but when she moves up to dub shes living in a house for four years thats 10 minutes away from my college.
shes told me this thats how i know. Shes pretty much told me everything about her i actually feel i put too much info up about her on this already.
ill probably see her around a few times if she doesnt want to see me

and about waiting around im not exactly "waiting for her" its not like im not getting into a relationship with another girl just because shes putting me on the finger. i dont know what to do. i dont want to give up on her.

eleven

i'm not sure why you're gettin all the 'knock it on the head' stuff.

This is my advice: keep up your friendship. You seem to be falling deep for her, but as you are at the moment, keep your interaction with her light, fun and friendly.

Meetin someone new that you get on with is great, so try to chill out a little bit and enjoy the experience.

I would maybe try to stop forcing the hand of turning it into a relationship right now (perhaps 'forcing the hand' is too strong a metaphor, but you know what I mean), and as I said let the friendship progress.

When she moves to dublin, you will have a friendship of more months standing, and be more able to meet in a more casual relaxed manner. A pint after college, showin her around to bars shops sports events etc

STOP worrying right now about not being good enough. This is the thing that will make her feel like not being with you.

What people find attractive in each other is idiosyncratic, irrational, undefinable and non prescriptive. What you may like she may hate, and vice versa.

She may be shy to meet you herself. Give her some space and time, and just keep being her friend.

Good luck.

LegacyUser

Dude take it from a man twice your age, women don’t respond to men falling all over them, ignore her don’t contact her if she is at all interested in you she will be in touch one way or the other, you need to man up and grow a pair, trust me I know how your feeling I’ve been there and done that and I have learnt my lesson the hard and painful way, she’s only a kid with her whole life ahead of her and you haven’t even met her face to face and you’re talking about a relationship and commitment, that’s crazy talk son, you have to give her the impression you have options and you wouldn’t really be that bothered if you guys ever meet up or not, be a little bit of an asshole without being a complete asshole, right now it seems she has all the power, you need to get the power back otherwise you will never be with this young lady.

neiler987

eleven wrote: »

i'm not sure why you're gettin all the 'knock it on the head' stuff.

This is my advice: keep up your friendship. You seem to be falling deep for her, but as you are at the moment, keep your interaction with her light, fun and friendly.

Meetin someone new that you get on with is great, so try to chill out a little bit and enjoy the experience.

I would maybe try to stop forcing the hand of turning it into a relationship right now (perhaps 'forcing the hand' is too strong a metaphor, but you know what I mean), and as I said let the friendship progress.

When she moves to dublin, you will have a friendship of more months standing, and be more able to meet in a more casual relaxed manner. A pint after college, showin her around to bars shops sports events etc

STOP worrying right now about not being good enough. This is the thing that will make her feel like not being with you.

What people find attractive in each other is idiosyncratic, irrational, undefinable and non prescriptive. What you may like she may hate, and vice versa.

She may be shy to meet you herself. Give her some space and time, and just keep being her friend.

Good luck.

okay thanks for the good advice

neiler987

countys32 wrote: »

Dude take it from a man twice your age, women don’t respond to men falling all over them, ignore her don’t contact her if she is at all interested in you she will be in touch one way or the other, you need to man up and grow a pair, trust me I know how your feeling I’ve been there and done that and I have learnt my lesson the hard and painful way, she’s only a kid with her whole life ahead of her and you haven’t even met her face to face and you’re talking about a relationship and commitment, that’s crazy talk son, you have to give her the impression you have options and you wouldn’t really be that bothered if you guys ever meet up or not, be a little bit of an asshole without being a complete asshole, right now it seems she has all the power, you need to get the power back otherwise you will never be with this young lady.

yeah i get you man.. actually i find when we dont text or keep in contact for a few weeks she ALWAYS leaves 2 or 3 comments on my facebook status like yesterday for example .. so i think shes trying to give me a hint to text her ?

alright thanks