Calling your In- Laws "Mam and Dad"

ElleEm

I was just watching something on telly where a husband and wife where encouraging each other to call each other's parents "mam" and "dad". Is this an American thing or is it done over here too?

The idea of calling anybody other than my parents "mam and dad" freaks me out. I would NEVER feel okay doing it. So do any of you call your inlaws "mam and dad", or if your OH asked you too, would you?

Swampy

NEVER!!!

CathyMoran

Call her by her name - though since she called me "your wife" to my husband just because I did not agree with all her parenting dictates I am less likely to call her at all.

My husband calls my daddy by his first name and that is fine by me.

seamus

No, it's weird.

If my wife calls my parents "Mam" and "Dad", does that make me her brother? Bleuch.

Bride2012

No, I couldn't do it, too weird. I noticed that on Eastenders Afia called her fiance's dad uncle after they got engaged, they're a Muslim family. That to me sounded odd enough but Mom or Dad, no way. They're not the type to like it either luckily.

Lady Chatterton

You're not alone OP, I couldn't call my husband's parents "mam and dad" as far as I'm concerned I have only one mam and dad. However, my husband has some elderly aunts and uncles who I have no problem calling Aunty Mary or Uncle Sean etc..

smelltheglove

I even feel weird writing cards addressed to Mam & Dad and putting my name underneath. I couldnt imagine calling them other than their names. It is something that is expected in Indian culture as far as I know (could be wrong).

ElleEm

smelltheglove wrote: »

I even feel weird writing cards addressed to Mam & Dad and putting my name underneath. I couldnt imagine calling them other than their names. It is something that is expected in Indian culture as far as I know (could be wrong).

My (almost) in- laws sign their cards to me and my boyfriend as "Mam and dad" then put their names in brackets!!!

artyeva

no no no no no no no no no!!!!

i often hear a girl i know call her boyfriend's mother 'mammy' and to be honest it makes my skin crawl. like someone else said - they're yer fella - not yer brother!!!

ninky

Bride2012 wrote: »

No, I couldn't do it, too weird. I noticed that on Eastenders Afia called her fiance's dad uncle after they got engaged, they're a Muslim family. That to me sounded odd enough but Mom or Dad, no way. They're not the type to like it either luckily.

I thought aisans, from around the indian subcontinent,generally call any individuals who are a good bit older than them either auntie or uncle out of respect

in response to OP, i call my MIL mum because shes a sweetheart

iguana

ninky wrote: »

I thought aisans, from around the indian subcontinent,generally call any individuals who are a good bit older than them either auntie or uncle out of respect

In most Indian languages there are numerous words for "aunt" and "uncle" all with different meaning. For example, if you were referring to your aunt who is your mother's sister you use a different word than you would if your were referring to your father's sister. If you are talking about an older female friend of the family you would use a different word again. But in English we don't have different words for this so they just use "aunt" for all three.

On the original question, I can just about call my in-laws by their first names. For years I avoided using any "name" for them as calling them Mr/Mrs X was obviously too formal but I was worried that using their names might be considered too familiar. (There is a bigger age difference between my parents and my parents-in-law than there is between my parents and me, so I wasn't sure exactly what they'd consider disrespectful.) It wasn't until my sister-in-law's husband came on the scene and was comfortably throwing out their first names that I became confident enough to use them too.:o

I could understand why someone who lost their parents very young (or who had an absolutely awful relationship with their parents) and a great relationship with their in-laws might start calling them mum and dad. But other than that it seems weird and disrespectful to your own parents.

whatdoicare

I call my mammy in law - Mrs Whatdoicare and she also calls me Mrs Whatdoicare (my new surname not whatdoicare obviously) she gets a great kick out of it!
Me: "Well, Mrs whatdoicare!"
Mammyinalaw: "Heeheehee - hello, Mrs Whatdoicare!"

This also goes on for hours......

ninky

I could understand why someone who lost their parents very young (or who had an absolutely awful relationship with their parents) and a great relationship with their in-laws might start calling them mum and dad. But other than that it seems weird and disrespectful to your own parents.[/QUOTE]

My parents are wonderful (and alive!)so the former point doesnt apply to me but i do have a great relationship with my mother in law (some may see this as weird:))and she's just as valued by me as my own parents, thats all..nothing weird about that..

If I was adopted and my parents were still alive,I'd call the new parents my mum and dad..does it matter so much that we reserve these labels only for those we are connected to biologically?Isn't it about how we value another individual?(alright, time for bed)

ninky

iguana wrote: »

In most Indian languages there are numerous words for "aunt" and "uncle" all with different meaning. For example, if you were referring to your aunt who is your mother's sister you use a different word than you would if your were referring to your father's sister. If you are talking about an older female friend of the family you would use a different word again. But in English we don't have different words for this so they just use "aunt" for all three.

oh ok..going off point again but eventhen uncle and auntie-jee is thrown about abit isn't it by asian/indian families..a close family friend, a good bit older, would be known as uncle or auntie..so in laws being linked by marriage would be known as uncle or auntie, in asian culture,wouldnt they, if not being referred to as mum/dad?

carolinespring

OMG NO!! I call my MIL by her first name ( and by something a lot less nice when I am with my girlfriends) She is a really hard woman to deal with and the idea of caling her Mum is just so wrong to me and when I said it to my husband just now, he almost fell over laughing.

I do have a friend who called her former MIL Mummy and really acted as if she was her best friend. Telling her private details of her marrage and her own personal life. Needless to say it got in the way of her and her husbands and they split about 5 years ago after only 3 years of marrage and 1 child. Now she cannot say one good word about her MIL and her MIL has one less good word for her. Said it was the worst mistake she ever made. Her husband hated her calling his parents Mummy and Daddy as well.

ABajaninCork

I address my FiL by his Christian name. I've already got a Mum and Dad.

janbaby

oh god no way never! I find it weird enough calling them granny and grandad when I'm talking about then to my daughter!

magentas

Oh god no, it's sooo cheesy and morto for anyone that does it!:o:D