Mum talks to me like my I am my dad

LegacyUser

Guy, mid 20's here. Just want to know what you think about this one, just something kinda minorish but annoys me.. When my mum is around my dad she often makes smutty remarks particularily about strangers kind of teasing/messing like. And lately she has being doing the same to me. The other evening we were out having dinner in a hotel and a woman in a very short skirt with what looked like a coloured child walked by. Ok I admit i stared. My mum caught onto this and said ''See thats where a short skirt gets you''. I nearly stormed out i was so annoyed. Another day recently, we were in the car, and a rather overweight girl walked by and she said ''Theres a fine big lady for you now''. I absolutlely hate when she makes those kind of comments towards me. I know Ive probably said worse things in my life but coming from your mother its just weird and uncomfortable. Why does she say stuff like that to me? I dont find it one bit funny..and how do I get her to stop? Anyone have a similar problem?

trio

To be honest when I first read "smutty comments" I thought it would be rather different stuff. I thought it would be sexually explicit stuff.

But what your mother is saying is actually so mild, that it's a bit suprising you see these remarks as smutty at all!

My mother says much the same stuff - I think she's hilarious.

But if you find it inappropriate, say "Mam, I don't like those type of jokes" and leave it at that.

Don't be tempted to storm off like a 12 year old - you're in your mid-20's for Gods sake.

Ickle Magoo

Tbh it sounds like she's trying to talk and jest with you as a fellow adult rather than treat you as a little boy and her the prim and proper, disapproving mother.

Why would you be storming out over something so innocuous anyway? She caught her adult son staring at a woman in a short skirt...why can't she comment? If you are uncomfortable with your mother treating you as a fellow adult then you need to tell her that but I think this is infinitely more your issue than hers.

Smutty?! I was expecting the kind of jokes and comments my aulds make, those comments are more like something my grandparents would come out with!

All the best.

tenchi-fan

That's not smutty, it's just joking around. My granny makes similar comments the whole time, although my mother is more "prim and proper".

When you said smutty I thought you were talking "Mrs Brown" smutty.

greenprincess

Ya thats not smut! My mam would comment on a girl in a short skirt

Curry Addict

OP you sound very uptight. lighten up a bit maybe. its not good for u to be so hassled over such things. maybe try to understand your mum better and her perspective.

Firetrap

I think it's good that your mum is cracking jokes like that. It means that she sees you as an adult. There are people out there who would kill to have their parents speak to them as adults, not continue to treat them as if they're still kids. Loosen up and don't be getting so uptight over innocuous jokes like that.

shellyboo

Yeah, she's not being smutty she's just being rude and kinda bigoted. I'd tell her to stop being an a$$hole myself, but just tell her you don't think those sort of jokes are funny.

LegacyUser

OP here. Ive no problem with my mum speaking to me like an adult or cracking the odd joke, thats fine. I have a sense of humour. Listen my mum has always been sharped tonged and outspoken and you do need to take a pinch of salt, thats just her personality I suppose. Some of the stuff can sexually explicit but i wouldnt care to print it here. I would just prefer she would reserve those kind of comments for my dad(and I know it bugs the hell out of him at times aswell) or her lady friends. It just kind of diminshes my opinion of her when I hear that kinda of stuff. Other than that she a grand mum.

Taltos

acertainissue wrote: »

OP here. Ive no problem with my mum speaking to me like an adult or cracking the odd joke, thats fine. I have a sense of humour. Listen my mum has always been sharped tonged and outspoken and you do need to take a pinch of salt, thats just her personality I suppose. Some of the stuff can sexually explicit but i wouldnt care to print it here. I would just prefer she would reserve those kind of comments for my dad(and I know it bugs the hell out of him at times aswell) or her lady friends. It just kind of diminshes my opinion of her when I hear that kinda of stuff. Other than that she a grand mum.

So tell her...

It will take her some time - but all you gotta do is say "ah mum, please..." in a pained and embarrased voice - provided you have made it crystal clear that she is making you feel uncomfortable.
Just do everyone a favour and be honest with her - this is NOT about her - so anything you say that makes her feel bad about herself is not on - to be honest if I had to balance having a mum who was comfortable with me as opposed to having one who doubted herself due to something someone said - I think I know what I would choose.

Please think long and hard before you say anything - and take a little longer, and then tread carefully.

tinkerbell

Ok first of all, I thought she was going to be saying something really smutty to you the way she was going on. Really she's just being rude and obnoxious. Say you don't care for those comments, it makes you feel really awkward and embarrassed and not to mention them to you again.

acertainissue wrote: »

The other evening we were out having dinner in a hotel and a woman in a very short skirt with what looked like a coloured child walked by. Ok I admit i stared.

And just a bit of advice for the way you talk about people, OP. You do not refer to people of a race other than white as "coloured". You're in your 20s and you live in 2011, you don't use that term - you should know better.