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Low sex drive linked to something else?

  • 01-05-2011 3:10pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi,

    GF of a few years has for the past maybe 2 months or so had a huge drop in sex drive, its kinda got to the point of frustration, i hate feeling like im some frisky perv bothering her or feel like im begging for sex, we've brought it up and talked about it a bit before but just the other day i was using the computer and realised all the nights shes been too tired or just not into it, shes been watching porn.... this kind of stung.

    Not that i'd have a problem with porn but just shes not turned on by me lately but still has a sex drive clearly.

    Then I realised shes been watching lesbian porn....again i dont mind if its all clear but behind me back watching lesbian porn and not being turned on by me anymore?
    Am I reading too much into this or is the reason for concern?


Comments

  • #2
    Chinafoot
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,894 ✭✭✭Chinafoot


    Ok, first of all, the fact that she is watching lesbian porn does not mean she is gay. I have watched lesbian porn on occasion because to be quite honest, the female form is beautiful and sexy and a turn on. I don't think that way about women in real life though. Its just a fantasy. I have a boyfriend of 6 years and consider myself straight.

    Now, the fact that your sex life has dwindled could be down to a lot of things. Has she put on weight, have her hours/duties at work increased, is she depressed, is she stressed or worried about anything? You both need to have a mature and honest discussion on the subject.

    Masturbation can be a very quick "means to an end" if you know what I mean. She could fancy a very quick orgasm and finds she can achieve that with porn, but she may not feel up to having full sex. I don't think this means she isn't attracted to you anymore but I agree that it is something that needs to be addressed before she slips into a pattern of only going for self-gratification because its quick.

    Have a chat with her. Tell her that you saw that she's been watching porn and that you're feeling a little insecure because she doesn't seem to be up for sex with you anymore. I would advise against questioning her sexuality, nor should you approach this in a confrontational way. Just tell her how you're feeling and talk it out.


  • #3
    baby and crumble
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,512 ✭✭✭baby and crumble


    I have to say, it would throw up a red flag if my other half didn't want to make love because she was watching porn (any kind of porn). I'm all up for watching porn if that's what you fancy, but when you prefer that to the touch of the person you love... I dunno, I'd be worried. Say it to her, OP.


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