Feeling Guilty about Last Night - should I?

LegacyUser

I stayed over in a male friends house last night completely out of the blue. Ended up staying up chatting til 6am and then both of us passed out on his bed, completely platonic thing. However feeling a bit weird about it as I have a boyfriend of 10 months and I'm wondering if he'd freak out if he knew I was after sleeping next to this guy on his bed.I love my boyfriend to bits, I'm not interested in the guy, it was a purely platonic thing.
Its something I think is totally innocent but I'd say I'll see some opposing views - what do ye think? Should I feel bad about it, or is it ok?

rainbow kirby

Moved from tLL to RI.

Fentdog84

As you said nothing happened, so there's nothing to feel guilty about. But it would be unwise to do it again. Plus, you could give the other guy ideas too..

Chinafoot

Assuming all parties involved here are adults and not insecure teens, I see no issue with what happened. Yourself and your friend have a purely platonic friendship and your friend is not a threat to your relationship. I see it as being no different than if your friend was female.

Sinfonia

As above.

Also, if I was the boyfriend in the situation, I think I'd appreciate being told about it straight away, as in you'd basically just tell him what you told us.. Just because it would show me that there is nothing weird going on or anything, etc. If it came up at a later stage or something, I'd feel a bit weird that my girlfriend didn't say anything to begin with.. or something.
Anyway, that approach isn't for everyone, just a musing I had.

G-Money

Doesn't seem like a big deal to me but I guess it would be better to let him know anyway. Would you expect him to tell you if it was him to fell asleep next to a girl and nothing happened?

You seem to be genuine in that nothing happened and that's fair enough. But I agree with one of the previous poster's who said it would be a good idea not to let it happen again as it could start to give the other guy idea's, as well as yourself.

CK2010

my feelings on things like this are 'dont do anything you wouldnt do if your boyfriend was beside you'.
i.e. if you behaved in a manner that you would had he been there then you've no reason to feel bad.
obviously the issue here is that you were alone with this guy so the phrase doesnt completely fit the context, but the sentiment is clear

Sinfonia

CK2010 wrote: »

my feelings on things like this are 'dont do anything you wouldnt do if your boyfriend was beside you'.

Or also, 'Don't do anything you wouldn't like your boyfriend/girlfriend to do.'

CK2010

Sinfonia wrote: »

Or also, 'Don't do anything you wouldn't like your boyfriend/girlfriend to do.'

yep true. i always found the other to have more ressonance for some reason. perhaps coz it made me imagine his eyes glaring at me!

Spirited54321

Hi I would be of the opinion, if it was purely platonic then don't worry about at all and don't tell your boyfriend either, it will only make him insecure and cause him to have doubts and become jealous.

But I question the guilt? i.e. are you sure it was purely purely platonic. Anyway if it was seriously i wouldn't think about it anymore and enjoy your bank holiday!

Similar thing happened to me once, except it was a couch. Was drinking in a friend's house and when everyone went to sleep there was a fight over who'd get the couch, so me and a guy ended up both sleeping on it. Felt a bit bad about it alright. Told my OH the next time I saw him, he was totally cool about it. Honestly though I'd never do it again because I don't think I should have, and I know I wouldn't have liked it if it was the other way round.

Don't feel guilty. Do tell him. Don't do it again.

mariebeth

Don't feel guilty OP, but I would also say to tell your boyfriend about it. If it came up in conversation (& these things have a habit of doing that), then he would feel hurt and would be justified in thinking something more happened.

thecookingapple

I am sorry but i find this totally not cool, i think that if your in a relationship with another person then that person is the only person you should share a bed with, things happen in sleep that are out of a persons control and it is a far to intimate setting to share with one person while your other half is somewhere else.

I dont think you should tell your bf, i think you should forget about it and learn a lesson by it.

Firetrap

The fact that you're asking here means that you do feel guilty about it and that's all that counts. Even though nothing happened, sleeping in another bloke's bed is a bit much when you're in a relationship. Ask yourself how would you feel if your boyfriend slept in another woman's bed? Could you not have slept on the sofa?