visitation rights- almost single mum :(

lovingcheap

Hi all,

Well I'm new to this board. I have a 6 month old son but unfortunately I have discovered some information about my partner which now means I will be a single mum as I just can't forgive and forget. I wish no animosity towards him and know he will be broken hearted also when i ask him to leave our home. What is the fairest visitation set up? I am totally distraught, and very sad for the fact that our son will be in a 'broken family'. I work part time and am also suffering with PND, my partner was made redundant a few months ago and is still not working.
What are his rights? how often is fair for our son to see his father as I do not want to keep him from him. This is all very new and raw to me, so any help or advice would be greatly appreciated- to help us with this new transition.

Thanks guys

Morag

Well you can go down the line of thinking about rights or you can go down the line of thinking that your son will want his dad in his life as much as possible.

Can your son's father mind him when you are in work, so that there is not the expense of child care? I suggest you start there and look at if where his Dad is living is suitable having the child stay over 2 nights a week.

Break ups are never easy, sounds like your hurt and grieving, make sure you have support and that you go to your dr and think about seeing a counsellor to talk about the emotional roller coaster you are on, so that you can make clear decisions about all of this and not have them coloured by your hurt.

Your son is 6 months, and if he grows up with his parents living apart but both in his life then that to him will be normal and as long as you love him and do what is best for him,
he'll grow into a happy healthy kid.

He'll not be from a broken home if you make sure he knows he is loved and supported.

cynder

Sharrow wrote: »

Well you can go down the line of thinking about rights or you can go down the line of thinking that your son will want his dad in his life as much as possible.

Can your son's father mind him when you are in work, so that there is not the expense of child care? I suggest you start there and look at if where his Dad is living is suitable having the child stay over 2 nights a week.

.

100% agree......

amiable

OP get yourself some help and support. Counselling might be an idea.
Don't make any major decisions too soon and sit down and talk to your partner and see what arrangements he'd like.

Good luck OP

Sleepy

lovingcheap wrote: »

unfortunately I have discovered some information about my partner which now means I will be a single mum as I just can't forgive and forget.

It sounds like you haven't even spoken to your partner about this issue yet? All may not be lost here yet OP, sometimes reasonable explanations exist for things that can appear incriminating...

ElleEm

I definitly agree with other posters. Speak with your partner and come to some arrangement that suits both of you. Don't go down the route of what is socially acceptable, or what other single mothers are doing.
If your partner is not a legal gaurdian of your child, sort that out ASAP. It is only fair that he has the same legal standing with your child as you do.
It will also save messiness in the future.

Good luck to you, I really feel for you. But remember, it is your son who will suffer in this situation if it is not handled correctly. Do what is best for HIM.

bulmersgal

You need to sort out access and maintenance between yourselves. Each couple is different, don't feel forced into anything and likewise dont just say your only having him 1 day a week. If you cannot agree between yourselves mediation is a good place to go. Try keep it out of court its a horrible place.

I currently have a 1 year old and am a single mum and about to return to court for the second time. If you have any question feel free to pm me, dont like to discuss to much here

Mech1

Above all, (I know your not at the moment) don't ever use your child as a weapon against your expartner.

Many girls seem to think that the right of a father to see his child is negligible.

Good luck.

amiable

Mech1 wrote: »

Above all, (I know your not at the moment) don't ever use your child as a weapon against your expartner.

Many girls seem to think that the right of a father to see his child is negligible.

Good work there

Orion

Mech1 wrote: »

Above all, (I know your not at the moment) don't ever use your child as a weapon against your expartner.

Many girls seem to think that the right of a father to see his child is negligible.

Good luck.

amiable wrote: »

Good work there

amiable: Please report a post if you've a problem with it.
Mech1: As you state yourself there is no implication of using the child as a weapon. So let's keep posts helpful and on topic.

amiable

Macros42 wrote: »

amiable: Please report a post if you've a problem with it.
Mech1: As you state yourself there is no implication of using the child as a weapon. So let's keep posts helpful and on topic.

I have no problem with the post hence i didn't report it as requested.

Orion

My sarcasm sensor must have malfunctioned in that case