Old friends pissing me off

Lago

I've had these two friends, two brothers, since I was young. One is the same as me and I've known him since playschool. The other one is older and in college and I've known him since I started primary school. I've always got on with them and even when we started leaving primary school and they went to a boarding school in a different county, we stayed friends. We've gone to each other houses every weekend and on school holiday for years now. However, lately they've been annoying me.

We've been on Easter holidays for the last week and as per tradition, I've gone to their house nearly every day so far. They've been really pissed me off though. The first day I went down, it was grand. We did what we usually do and got on fine. But after a while there mam called them out to help her work at something and I was left on my own for like 30 minutes. They came back in for a while but then went back out for like an hour. This was without any sort of word to tell me where they were going, what they were doing or what I could do. After an hour, I just got fed up waiting and went home.

Then another day I went down, we were outside for a bit and when we came back in, the younger lad just turned on his computer and played a game (A game which they had got me to spend ages installing on both their computers). The older lad had gone off somewhere, so it was just me sitting in the room, doing nothing while the younger lad played his computer. It was ages before he realised I was sat there doing nothing, he asked me what I wanted to do but it was clear he had no intention of getting off his computer

Then on Saturday, they really pissed me off. I had been at a party the night before. I was wrecked and hadn't eaten anything for a day. I had to go off again that night but I said I'd go down to their's for 2 hours since they asked. I went down and after a boring 30 minutes outside looking for golf balls, we went inside. Once again, the younger lad went straight for his computer and left me with nothing to do. The older lad was in the room too, but he was doing something for college. All 3 of us were in the room, but those two were on their computer while I was just left there sitting with nothing to do.

But what really started to piss me off was the younger lad started annoying. He just started talking complete bull****, making weird, annoying noises and just wouldn't shut up. I started telling him to shut up and when I did he just kept saying "It's hilarious annoying you"

He had been annoying me all week with his stupidity but the fact that he had left me to do nothing and now had started annoying me, really pissed me off. The older one had commented once to tell his brother that I must be bored, but he wouldn't do anything either.

The younger one is immature and isn't very socially adept, in the way that he just doesn't understand what's over the line and when to stop doing something, at least around me. For example, he used to have a tell problem with hitting. He would totally overreact and just start punching me for the smallest things. This was up until a few months, when he was 16! We were just in his room and I farted (sorry, probably hard to take that seriously). Next thing he jumps up and started punching me as hard as possible in the leg. He wasn't angry or anything, he just thought we were messing. So I gave out **** to him and wouldn't talk to him for the rest of the day. He stopped doing that because I started screaming at him but now he's started this thing of annoying.

As friends go, I've always considered them to be my best friends but this week has got me thinking about our friendship. And I think I only consider them to be my best friends because we've known each other so long and because I spent so much of my free time with them

It might seem like a small thing but thinking about it is worrying me. I don't want to lose friends that I've known for so long but at the same time I dread the thought of going to their house after this week because they've been pissing me off so much. They asked if I wanted to come over today but I told them I was sick. So I'm not sure what to do

If you've got to end of that wall of text, I really appreciate it so thank you

Taltos

Hi OP

few things

Some friendships do eventually wind down and fall over - and from reading your post it really seems that way. I mean if one of your friends annoys the crap out of you can you call him immature - then sorry - clear signal that this friendship has not lasted the test of time.

Secondly, have you considered that you are spending WAYYYY too much time there? I mean they are siblings in their own home - and you seem to be there an awful lot. Growing up my bro and I had similar friends that always seemed to be there. Their persistent presence got very boring and we quickly grew apart. I think that maybe they are trying in a subtle way to let you know that you are there too much but you are not picking up on it. If this is the case - just reduce the amount of time you hang around together - you will all enjoy spending that time together more (maybe) and hopefully your friendship can be saved...

However - back to my first point - if you all have very little in common and just annoy each other - then maybe it is time to say adios...

LegacyUser

If you are being left alone doing nothing when visiting someone it is a sign that you are outstaying your welcome. They are probably pig sick of looking at you hanging around expecting to be entertained.

And to state the even more glaringly obvious, if they are annoying you stop going around there.

Lago

Taltos wrote: »

Hi OP

few things

Some friendships do eventually wind down and fall over - and from reading your post it really seems that way. I mean if one of your friends annoys the crap out of you can you call him immature - then sorry - clear signal that this friendship has not lasted the test of time.

I suppose. Damn, I thought I might just have been overreacting from everything that happened this week but I guess if I'm so annoyed by them that I can't stand them, it's not a good sign. I just don't get why he has to be so annoying lately

Secondly, have you considered that you are spending WAYYYY too much time there? I mean they are siblings in their own home - and you seem to be there an awful lot. Growing up my bro and I had similar friends that always seemed to be there. Their persistent presence got very boring and we quickly grew apart. I think that maybe they are trying in a subtle way to let you know that you are there too much but you are not picking up on it. If this is the case - just reduce the amount of time you hang around together - you will all enjoy spending that time together more (maybe) and hopefully your friendship can be saved...

Well, everytime we meet up, it's usually them asking me to come over. So I don't think they are trying to tell me that I'm there too much but it definetly might be worth a try to limit the time I spent with them for a while

tenchi-fan

They're still giving you friendship & letting you treat their house like your own. Don't be so ungrateful. They probably figure you'd prefer to be bored with them rather than to be bored on your own.

As for the younger guy annoying you, bear in mind he is younger than you. Why don't you be an example by suggesting something interesting for him to do. You should probably find more interesting things to do with your time in general instead of relying on your neighbours to entertain you.

Lago

tenchi-fan wrote: »

As for the younger guy annoying you, bear in mind he is younger than you. Why don't you be an example by suggesting something interesting for him to do.

He's younger than me by 3 months. And he was annoying me while playing his computer, so I think he was pretty occupied as it was

You should probably find more interesting things to do with your time in general instead of relying on your neighbours to entertain you.

They're not my neighbours, as I said, I've been friends with them for 14 years now. It's hardly unreasonable to want to enjoy myself with my friends in my free time

They probably figure you'd prefer to be bored with them rather than to be bored on your own.

Possibly true, fair point. I don't see where trying to purposely annoy me comes into that though

Firetrap

Some friendships, especially those formed during childhood/teenage years, don't necessarily stand the test of time. People change more than you'd think during this time and it can lead to them having less in common. During the teenage years, a gap of a year or two can mean a world of difference.

I agree with the others in that you have definitely been spending too much time in their house. Scaling back the length and frequency of your visits could do you a world of good when it comes to your relationship with these lads.

At the moment, I'm assuming that you are still in secondary school while the eldest lad is in third level. One thing you'll learn if you do go on to college is that Easter time isn't holiday time any more but one of deadlines for assignments and when people hit the books big time because exams are just around the corner. So he might need you calling up to the house like a hole in the head.

The other lad might be going through an obnoxious immature phase. He might grow out of it pretty soon but for the moment he's behaving like an ass and that's likely to continue for a while. Sometimes people go through phases as teenagers where they are obnoxious before they grow up and become nicer.

Lago

Thanks everyone. I've tried to take the advice, I'm going to just stay out of their house for a while. Especially until the guy stops attacking like an ass. It's been annoying cause they've called me the last three days asking me to come over but I've told each time I can't.

Hopefully this will help out in the long run. So thanks again everyone