really hurt over irish people being so cruel to my friend

jennife

I'm new to boards but I have an issue that's really starting to bother me. I'm a 24 year old Irish girl and recently I've started to become very bothered with racism in this country.
I've become very close to an Indian guy and nowadays he is my best friend. His name is Raj. He's so warm hearted and kind and lovely to be around. He has such a good heart and would never hurt anyone. I really love this guy. However everytime we are together, people constantly make racist remarks and comments and it upsets him very much.
We were out one night and were trying to get into a nightclub and the bouncer passed a few racist remarks which deeply upset Raj. Another night he was walking me home from a pub and these 2 guys started on him (he was just minding his own business) and they were saying stuff like ''i ****ed your girlfriend'' and all this crazy stuff and then they kept telling him to go back to his own country. (he did absolutely nothing to encourage this aggressiveness)
He is a human being just like the rest of us so why do some people make him feel like he doesn't belong? I have never liked a person more than I like this guy and it tears my heart up that he's being made feel so bad due to people being racist.
Like why are people racist? What is their problem? Why can't they mind their own business??
Another example is when I met Raj for coffee and on the way out a guy stuck up his middle finger at him. also people constantly stare at us like we're not supposed to be together. Is there something WRONG or not RIGHT about an indian guy being with an irish girl? What is the problem? Why do some people stare and see a problem with it? I really don't understand!

He shouldnt have to tolerate this bull**** and I just don't know what to do about it. Thanks for listening

Johnny Favourite

There is always racists people in every country and always will be. Not nice but that's life I'm afraid.

johnboysligo

- non-white people are always going to receive some form of racism from simple minded ignorant ***** with saw dust between their ears.

The only reason they say anything at all is because they have no fear of your friend and want to put him down in such a position that he can never feel welcome and by extension they have power or control asserting their "Ireland = my country" views.

He doesn't have to tolerate this bull**** challenging some of the rubber necked idiots you meet (not the drunk ones that's just asking for a fight) is a somewhat hostile but satisfying way to point out they shouldn't give a **** and need to just accept people of different skin colors and cultures live in Ireland.

Irish people are still sorta new at this multi cultural thing and that your friend will without a doubt suffer more racist crap, he is a saint if I received the same kind of abuse I would have ripped into the bouncer by making complaints to the owner and PSA (Private Security Authority) so he cant get his license renewed.

amdublin

That's terrible. I feel so sad for Raj.

Personally I would have asked the bouncers for the name of their manager and then made a formal complaint. Shocking behaviour.

CathyMoran

I have seen that with friends of mine for years, I just think that it is sad and feel embarased sometimes to be Irish. I went to a school that was multicultural and hope that with more of this now that children will grow up with a bit of common sense.

!!!

It is something that is very ripe at the moment. I am mixed race and I strangely get negative comments from both black and white people. Don't let it get you down.

LegacyUser

don't do anything about it....who cares what the small minded think? why should someone elses fear driven knuckle dragging behaviour get to you... your reaction & sadness fuels their fire.
racism is big in ireland no matter what anybody says...i see it very often in various ways but its covered up a lot in the media...


don't let them get to you & the wonderful relationship with a good person that you have.....

the only thing that matters is you & him.

Vicxas

Xenophobia is rampant in every country, not just ireland.

oneshotfinch

People will always try and pick a fight with somebody who doesn't fit the white straight guy mould. It's said when you think of it because one of the greatest things about the human race is how diverse we are.

Ickle Magoo

johnboysligo warned for inappropriate language.

Please keep replies on topic and helpful to the OP and reply to threads in a civil and well phrased manner - using crass language or deliberately bypassing the language filters is not necessary to get your point across.

If you haven't already done so, please take the time to read the [URL=" http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056181484"]forum rules[/URL] in the charter.

Many thanks.

thefeatheredcat

That's awful to go through tbh. And if you're upset and angry, I don't blame you. I've worked with people from different countries and some of the racist abuse they got from people (and usually, from the drunk/ignorant variety) was shocking and made me so angry I would be visibly shaking.

The real thing to always tell yourself and for Raj to tell himself, is that the people making the racist remarks, just like any other bully, are the ones who have the problem.

I would also think that if they were rather drunk males seeing a female in a club/pub/anywhere really with another man that they could be racist towards/bully/put down, it is more the fact of jealousy on their side in seeing an Indian man with an Irish woman (although that would be an assumption in itself).

As for the bouncers, I think some can be real jerks anyway, regardless of circumstance or issue but they should not be adding fuel to the fire or sparking off an idea in the heads of drunk boys out looking for a fight with the bare minimum excuse.

Best foot forward it to rise above it. And bear in mind that there are plenty of people in Ireland that aren't racist or ignorant idiots blinded by irrational and illogical fear.

There is absolutely nothing wrong in the two of you meeting or seeing eachother, and don't let anyone make you think twice about it, so enjoy what you have together.

LegacyUser

Vicxas wrote: »

Xenophobia is rampant in every country, not just ireland.

Have you ever lived in other cities? Ireland and in particular Dublin is exceptionally bad for xenophobia. I've lived in London, New York, Rome, Queenstown, Frankfurt and whilst Rome is bad for it, it isnt anywhere near as dangerous. You seem to be brushing off the OPs concern but I dont think your aware just how dangerous the xenophobia in this country is, how many Polish people have been killed for simply being Polish in the last few years for example? Or how about the chinese that were killed for simply playing basketball in the wrong park? Xenophobia may be common in many countries but its not as much of a threat as it is in Dublin.

OP, I have a Polish flatmate who had a bottle smashed across his face only on Saturday by some scumbags telling him to go back to his country. I think your friend needs to be very much on guard, racism is getting VERY bad in this country as is to be expected when things aren't going rosy. I'm Irish and usually proud but god the people of this country post celtic tiger are like spoilt brats when things arent going their way and LOVE to blame everything on someone else. Unfortunately that means that if your foreign then its your fault. You must explain to your friend that its not really his race thats the problem the problem is people wanting to blame someone else for their own problems. However that means that he is going to be a valid target in many scumbags view and there are many scumbags in the cities of this country.

Perhaps go out with a larger group of friends next time? safety in numbers. Also report that nightclub right away.

greengiant09

i'd say a of of the people who make these comments are simply jealous, especially when they see you together.

for instance, imagine some guy who's a bit of a d*ck and is having trouble scoring birds. then he sees you and your fella out at nite. he's locked and then starts mouthing off cos of his own jealousies.

as a half-cast person, i've heard a fair few rascist comments in my time and i'd say 90%+ have been people who are either scumbags or complete knob-ends. these are the exact same kinda people who would slag off a white person etc for being fat. the only difference is because raj stands out more, he is going to be a bigger target for these knob-ends.

try to get too worked up about it. remember, you should actually feel sorry for these rascists. a lot of them i'd say were brought by complete ret*ards so they have no real concept about respect. it's not really their fault in some respects.

also bear in mind my parents went out in the 50's/60's and probably had to endure a lot more rascism than is apparent today. i'd stay away from socialising in kippy areas.....their always the worst for attracting these kind of people.

generalmental

i have a very good friend who is spanish but has lived in ireland for years she has a dublin accent also.

a few months back 2 male scumbags started on her while me and my other friend went to get some smokes, i dont condone violence at all but needless to say i enjoyed it that night, its all these f*ckwits understand.

homerjay2005

Vicxas wrote: »

Xenophobia is rampant in every country, not just ireland.

this, indeed its alot worse in other countries, irish people are just a bit ignorent towards other nationalities and race, i wouldnt label the country racist. Indians however, are a lovely bunch of people, really respectful and they (nor nobody for that matter) deserves that.

f8cking ignorent idiots they are, though the thing is, no matter what color you are, you get abuse in ireland if you look a little different.

of course, the whole "they took our jobs" brigade is ripe as well in this country. no, the polish and the chinese didnt take your job your too f*cking lazy to get it in the first place anyway...

tenchi-fan

greengiant09 wrote: »

a lot of them i'd say were brought by complete ret*ards so they have no real concept about respect.

what's this about respect? :rolleyes:

whatdoicare

Even though I'm Irish (can trace the family history back generations- alot of generations, as it is my dads hobby) I don't look Irish at all - I've recently found out the easy to cook skin and what is considered typical is, in fact, not at all what traditional Irish people (in certain areas- Ireland can be divided into sections based on typical features according to my dad) used to look like.

I am Olive skinned with grey eyes and brown hair with a hint of blonde- my father is the same, as was his mam and dad and from old photos that are in the family so was his great granddad etc etc - I apparantly have the typical family looks.

I have in my time and travels been subject to abuse from Irish/white people, black people and european people all over the world for various different reasons from
"Feck off back to yr own country" to "Why are you dating a Whitey (my husband)- insert rude inappropriate statement about how I should stick to my own kind (this was in Spain, also in Greece, France, Italy and Morocco- said by locals- mostly in other languages but the gestures said it all really)"

So, it's everywhere, in every country - it's ignorance (and lack of education) on the part of the people who decide they need to abuse anyone different- ignore the remarks and stay away from anywhere known for the knacker mentality. It's mostly just hurtful but harmless.

LegacyUser

Hi I lived in Ireland all my life, recently moved to london and I have to admit I love it here towards ireland . I am mixed race and everyday of my life I got racist abuse off random people for no reason its sick how sad some people are. Ireland is the worst place for racisim don't care what anyone else says I have endured it I know , but tell your friend ignore it because those who abused him are scared egotistical fools that have nothing else to do but display anger displacement towards him.

virmilitaris

johnboysligo wrote: »

- non-white people are always going to receive some form of racism from simple minded ignorant ***** with saw dust between their ears.

I assume you mean non-white people in predominately white countries ?

Spend a week somewhere you are the minority and you'll experience pretty much the same thing because you are white / black / whatever.

johnboysligo

virmilitaris wrote: »

I assume you mean non-white people in predominately white countries ?

in Ireland, the country the op lives in and her friends revives racist abuse while living in.

no one is a saint virmilitaris, I never said that only white people can be racist.

virmilitaris

johnboysligo wrote: »

in Ireland, the country the op lives in and her friends revives racist abuse while living in.

no one is a saint virmilitaris, I never said that only white people can be racist.

Sorry I wasn't having a go, I assumed that's what you meant but I just wanted to clarify.