Do you have an obligation to tell a partner...

stupidusername

If you have an STI? Been wanting to begin a discussion on this for a while,a post in another thread reminded me. Would like a yes/no poll too if a mod could add one.I'm on my phone.
Well my instinctive reaction to this a while back was that yes if you know you have an STI you should have to tell any sexual partner.not sure about the law here but i think there are countries that made it illegal not to inform a partner.though another way of looking at it is to ask if your partner doesn't ask or more importantly doesn't assume you'd be using a condom are you really the only one to blame? We all know it takes two,so why not when it comes to STIs.

Just want to have it said i dont have one,and as for answering my own question i don't know where i stand on this fully.

Informing ourselves is so important these days so rather than it being the responsibility of your partner to disclose this information,should you take as much blame for not protecting yourself?

Discuss

CDfm

Ethically, yes .

If you have something that another person can catch thru intercourse then I reckon you should bite the bullet and tell them.

Or if you are diagnosed and its likely you have caught something from / or infected someone yes.

I have never had an infection but if I had been exposed to them would really have wanted the opportunity to get treatment.

The more serious the infection the more you need to know.

I am fairly ignorant of sti's and their symptoms.

stupidusername

should it not be equally your responsibility to protect yourself?

SugarHigh

stupidusername wrote: »

should it not be equally your responsibility to protect yourself?

I'm just going to walk like this, and if you get hit it's your own fault.

SugarHigh

It's wrong not to tell them but I'd probably keep my mouth shut anyway. Depends how serious it was.

cruizer101

Whatever about other ones I'm nearly sure its illegal in the case of HIV, based on the fact its considered to be a fatal disease. And while yeah it is ones responsibilty to protect yourself it still is wrong not to tell someone if you have an sti. In fact I would feel you shouldn't even be looking to have sex at all for the duration of the infection, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't.

Poor Craythur

OP, yes! Of course you should tell them. STIs are easily treatable for the most part but can get nasty if left untreated.

biscuiteater

sarah jane porter deliberately slept with men to pass on hiv and got jail

stupidusername

biscuiteater wrote: »

sarah jane porter deliberately slept with men to pass on hiv and got jail

Ok. Am well at least say what country this was in? And would you like to offer your opinion on the topic?

I think most peoples instinct would be that it'd be wrong at least ethically not to tell.but i'm just looking to challenge the normal thinking behind that.

Phoenix Park

Thread is a wind up surely. What kind of fcking animal would do that to someone.

biscuiteater

http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/commentators/joan-smith/joan-smith-sarah-jane-deliberately-infected-her-lovers-with-hiv-out-of-revenge-says-who-exactly-405333.html

i would say if your infected just keep it in your own pants and not spread it:P

biscuiteater

apologies think i read that wrong, but still say keep your germs to yourself then you don't have to tell anyone

CDfm

stupidusername wrote: »

should it not be equally your responsibility to protect yourself?

Yes - it is your responsibility to protect yourself & a friend of mine in the vending machine business says you wouldn't get rich on the takings from condom machines is ladies toilets .

So yes you have an obligation to protect yourself and if you have to be insistant that you use protection be so.

When I was a student there was a cartoon in a student mag " love dies, herpes lasts for ever" .

I dont think sti's have the stigma they once had as sexual mores have changed.

from what i have read there are two groups - "bacterial" they are the treatable ones and "viral" which are the serious recurent ones.

ArtSmart

stupidusername wrote: »

If you have an STI? Been wanting to begin a discussion on this for a while,a post in another thread reminded me. Would like a yes/no poll too if a mod could add one.I'm on my phone.
Well my instinctive reaction to this a while back was that yes if you know you have an STI you should have to tell any sexual partner.not sure about the law here but i think there are countries that made it illegal not to inform a partner.though another way of looking at it is to ask if your partner doesn't ask or more importantly doesn't assume you'd be using a condom are you really the only one to blame? We all know it takes two,so why not when it comes to STIs.

Just want to have it said i dont have one,and as for answering my own question i don't know where i stand on this fully.

Informing ourselves is so important these days so rather than it being the responsibility of your partner to disclose this information,should you take as much blame for not protecting yourself?

Discuss

sigh.


well, at least you kept your user name. that's something

Galvasean

Of course it's your responsibility to tell a partner if you have one. Anyone who tries to fob off the blame to his/her partner, "Oh well sure they didn't ask!" is fooling themselves and in my opinion a sick and selfish f#cker.

stupidusername

Hmmm this may be suited better to somewhere like humanities after all.

Maguined

stupidusername wrote: »

Hmmm this may be suited better to somewhere like humanities after all.

Not really, it's perfectly simple, is the omission of the truth the same thing as lying? in most cases yes, certainly in this case.

Not telling a sexual partner that you have a contagious disease/virus is pretty bad form, trying to put the blame on the partner because they did not demand a condom is selfishness. Condoms do not protect against all STI's, if someone unknowingly passes on something then fair enough that is just the inherent risk of sexual encounters but to knowingly deceive the other person and not inform them is not acceptable under any circumstances.

The old saying "do unto others as you would have done unto you" is perfectly apt for this, if you slept with someone without a condom and then you found out you got herpes/whatever from them and they knew they had it but just didn't bother telling you how would you feel? Would you lay all the blame on yourself for not insisting on using a condom or would you be angry that they knew they were going to infect you with something but did not warn you?

Dravokivich

it doesn't really matter the circumstances around how 1 person got it...

...but if they were to be sexually involved with someone else, without highlighting to them first, they're a prick.

To most people, there'd be an element of trust with sex. You'd each be in affect giving up your bodies to each other. Taking the risk of giving someone an STD (especially when you knew you had 1) is an abuse of that trust. Taking no consideration to your partner.

It in turn can hurt as much as a swift punch to the temple...

Wolfe Tone

Of course you should tell them. Its a no brainer. If you dont you are a total arsehole.

"Oh he never asked"

I doubt it would go down well if you did ask!

Kadongy

Yes of course.

Who knows they might be into that

Dave!

tbh depending on the STI I'd just be avoiding sex until it's cleared up.

If that's not possible then I'd ensure that I use a condom at all times. I know that that's not enough for all things.

It's morally kinda reprehensible to not inform the partner if there's a chance that they could catch something off you... but... if you do tell them, that's the moment gone and you're at home pullin the stomach off yourself! hmmmm, decisions decisions... if only I were a perfectly moral person...

Kadongy

Dave! wrote: »

tbh depending on the STI I'd just be avoiding sex until it's cleared up.

If that's not possible then I'd ensure that I use a condom at all times. I know that that's not enough for all things.

It's morally kinda reprehensible to not inform the partner if there's a chance that they could catch something off you... but... if you do tell them, that's the moment gone and you're at home pullin the stomach off yourself! hmmmm, decisions decisions... if only I were a perfectly moral person...

Would you rape someone so you dont have to pull the stomach off yourself as you put it?

star-pants

I don't see why you wouldn't tell your partner or tell someone you were going to sleep with that you have something they could catch.

Apart from being unethical it's just irresponsible as well as selfish to not let them know. Even being careful doesn't always mean you won't catch something if it's there.
If you had an infectious skin disease would you alert the people in contact with you? Or just turn a blind eye if they caught it?
It'd be like having a child with chicken pox and allowing other children over without first telling the parents so they could choose if they wanted their child there or not.

You'd be knowingly exposing someone to an infection or illness without their consent (to be exposed to catching something).

Dave!

Kadongy wrote: »

Would you rape someone so you dont have to pull the stomach off yourself as you put it?

Yes, yes I would

Kadongy

Dave! wrote: »

Yes, yes I would

You are not funny. Very poor taste.

Dave!

Damn...

Wolfe Tone

Dave! wrote: »

Yes, yes I would

Better than raping yourself

Dave!

Wolfe Tone wrote: »

Better than raping yourself

I don't put up much of a fight when I'm being raped by myself!


Anyway, enough trolling...

magneticimpulse

stupidusername wrote: »

If you have an STI? Been wanting to begin a discussion on this for a while,a post in another thread reminded me. Would like a yes/no poll too if a mod could add one.I'm on my phone.
Well my instinctive reaction to this a while back was that yes if you know you have an STI you should have to tell any sexual partner.not sure about the law here but i think there are countries that made it illegal not to inform a partner.though another way of looking at it is to ask if your partner doesn't ask or more importantly doesn't assume you'd be using a condom are you really the only one to blame? We all know it takes two,so why not when it comes to STIs.

Just want to have it said i dont have one,and as for answering my own question i don't know where i stand on this fully.

Informing ourselves is so important these days so rather than it being the responsibility of your partner to disclose this information,should you take as much blame for not protecting yourself?

Discuss

My god, if you have a STD you should be going to the doctor's and sorting it out....not going around having sex. Especially with your partner or someone your meant to love. Are there really ignorant people out there about these matters?

parker kent

A friend of mine got an STI from a girl who hopped on him whilst he was asleep the morning after the night before. Turns out she'd already been to a doctor and knew she had picked up something. It was a horrible thing for her to do. Not sure why anybody would knowingly put someone at risk.

Uriel.

magneticimpulse wrote: »

My god, if you have a STD you should be going to the doctor's and sorting it out....not going around having sex. Especially with your partner or someone your meant to love. Are there really ignorant people out there about these matters?

Yes there are thousands out there with this stupid mentality.

The level of STI awareness/education in this country is so shockingly awful...

Scotty #

Do you have an obligation to tell a partner if you have an STI...?

Are you for real?

If you have sex with a partner while knowingly carrying an STD you are maliciously harming, or risking harm, to that person. That is a crime and there isn't a judge in that land that wouldn't convict you for it.

I actually can't believe you need clarity on this.

stupidusername

Jesus.right could everyone read this properly.i do not have an STI.

I opened this here because i thought there was a chance we'd be able to have a discussion and some people might consider an alternative point of view. Not much point in leaving it open here.

Scotty #

stupidusername wrote: »

I do not have an STI.

I did actually presume the question was hypothetical.

stupidusername wrote: »

some people might consider an alternative point of view.

There isn't one. Regardless of where you start the thread.

Not informing a partner about an STI is grossly irresponsible and negligent. End of.

magneticimpulse

^ I agree with the above.

There is no discussion about it! Who is a pr*ck not to get a STD sorted out and who would pass it onto someone else? Especially a partner!

There is just no discussion about it. There should not be a difference of opinion. You get it sorted. You clear it up. End of discussion.

Also I would question why would you have an STD if you are sleeping with the same "partner". This discussion is not even about ONS, it implies would you tell a partner? Well if your just sleeping with the one person, I would be ignorant in thinking where could you pick up the STD from unless you were sleeping around (you as in the 3rd person you or whatever, not directly OP).

sam34

magneticimpulse wrote: »

Also I would question why would you have an STD if you are sleeping with the same "partner". This discussion is not even about ONS, it implies would you tell a partner? Well if your just sleeping with the one person, I would be ignorant in thinking where could you pick up the STD from unless you were sleeping around (you as in the 3rd person you or whatever, not directly OP).

presumably in this scenario the OP means sexual partner rather than life partner, and frequently sexual partners are transient beings

minidazzler

Scotty # wrote: »

Do you have an obligation to tell a partner if you have an STI...?

Are you for real?

If you have sex with a partner while knowingly carrying an STD you are maliciously harming, or risking harm, to that person. That is a crime and there isn't a judge in that land that wouldn't convict you for it.

I actually can't believe you need clarity on this.

That depends on the STD if I remember correctly, viral STD's have to be disclosed, but infections don't legally have to be. I am open to correction, but that was my reading on it.

That said, witholding such information is just not a nice or humane thing to do. I know of a girl who got Chlamydia from a guy who knew he had it but was told by a friend that it doesn't cause any problems for guys so he's OK. It was only after he found out she got it that he told her he knew. Haven't talked to her for a while but that's the kind of thing that can make a girl infertile, not sure about her, but if she wanted kids and now can't have them, it's devastating. So yeah, not revealing you have an STD automatically and irrevocably makes you a cunt. and nothing less.

pragmatic1

Without question you should inform your partner.

Galvasean

stupidusername wrote: »

I opened this here because i thought there was a chance we'd be able to have a discussion and some people might consider an alternative point of view.

What on Earth could the 'alternate view' be?

stupidusername

Galvasean wrote: »

What on Earth could the 'alternate view' be?

The alternative view would be that we're all responsible for our own health and shouldn't rely on others for it.like if you agree to have unprotected sex aren't you as much to blame? But seems people aren't open to considering it.

Galvasean

stupidusername wrote: »

The alternative view would be that we're all responsible for our own health and shouldn't rely on others for it.like if you agree to have unprotected sex aren't you as much to blame? But seems people aren't open to considering it.

I definitely would not go as far as to say 'as much to blame'. IMO it's a bit like saying someone who got stabbed should share the blame since they weren't wearing a flak jacket.

Otis Driftwood

Thread closed at OP's request.