Stupid/Funny/odd things you have said or done while drunk

Rds1989

Tonight my housemates brought back to the house some random 60 yo drunk man from their night out and looks like he'll be staying the night

El Weirdo

Rds1989 wrote: »

Tonight my housemates brought back to the house some random 60 yo drunk man from their night out and looks like he'll be staying the night

I hope he rides ye all up the bum.

chin_grin

"You have said or done....."

Somebody's getting lucky tonight then?

James2693

One night I brought home your ma. Unfortunetly much like you in life, the condom failed. All long came you:/ I'm sorry:/

kfallon

Remember hitching a lift from town to Drumcondra one night when locked with a mate!

What kind of a fooking eejit picks up 2 locked cnuts at 4am in the morn and what kind of fooking eejits gets into a car with some random person at 4am in the morn :rolleyes:

policarp

I hope he teaches you a lesson or two.
Don't do it again.

Dwellingdweller

My mate was sobering me up, bought me a curry and all (nice guy like!) And we sat outside the chipper so. Cue half an hour of me lecturing him on the meaning of life while covering the poor lad in korma! :pac: Mind I dont remember, but according to eyewitness reports I was rockin my fork back and forth (firin curry everywhere!) While waxing lyrical bout the majesty of the universe :pac: good times :P

Kevin Duffy

kfallon wrote: »

What kind of a fooking eejit picks up 2 locked cnuts at 4am in the morn and what kind of fooking eejits gets into a car with some random person at 4am in the morn :rolleyes:

Taxis and passengers?

HellFireClub

I was walking home from a nightclub a good few years ago before the days of mobile phones, after drinking my taxi fare home, came across a fairly new born calf on the road that had hopped a wall, I kinda reasoned out that it was owned by a farmer up the road so did the decent thing and took care of it, obviously being worried that it should be hit by a car, but had to take my belt off my jeans as had nothing else, (as in rope), to manage it with...

So we did the walk home together and I left the beast out in the front garden for the night, (with my trouser belt around it's neck), and you can imagine the looks I got the next morning!

alexa5x5

Usually involves falling down and uncontrollably laughing. I used to make a show of myself by texting/calling an ex every time I got drunk, thankfully I had the sense to delete his number!

EverEvolving

HellFireClub wrote: »

I was walking home from a nightclub a good few years ago before the days of mobile phones, after drinking my taxi fare home, came across a fairly new born calf on the road that had hopped a wall, I kinda reasoned out that it was owned by a farmer up the road so did the decent thing and took care of it, obviously being worried that it should be hit by a car, but had to take my belt off my jeans as had nothing else, (as in rope), to manage it with...

So we did the walk home together and I left the beast out in the front garden for the night, (with my trouser belt around it's neck), and you can imagine the looks I got the next morning!

That's some excuse!!!

Dwellingdweller

HellFireClub wrote: »

I was walking home from a nightclub a good few years ago before the days of mobile phones, after drinking my taxi fare home, came across a fairly new born calf on the road that had hopped a wall, I kinda reasoned out that it was owned by a farmer up the road so did the decent thing and took care of it, obviously being worried that it should be hit by a car, but had to take my belt off my jeans as had nothing else, (as in rope), to manage it with...

I bet the belt wasn't the only thing ye took off!

HellFireClub

EverEvolving wrote: »

That's some excuse!!!

Seriously, what are ya to do when you have 15 JD's in you and you more or less trip over a calf on the road home haha!?! Was one of the funniest things that ever happened me though, was talking to the thing and everything on the way home, asking him had he any brothers or sisters, etc!

Rds1989

HellFireClub wrote: »

Seriously, what are ya to do when you have 15 JD's in you and you more or less trip over a calf on the road home haha!?! Was one of the funniest things that ever happened me though, was talking to the thing and everything on the way home, asking him had he any brothers or sisters, etc!

Suppose ya wanted a go on them and all

HellFireClub

Rds1989 wrote: »

Suppose ya wanted a go on them and all

Beggars man, we can't be choosers!

Rds1989

HellFireClub wrote: »

Beggars man, we can't be choosers!

Ha, did you get it back to the farmer at least?

saywhatyousee

My really cheesy chat up lines said them a couple of nights for the crack. my favorite
Point to a girl at the bar gesture for her to come over to you using 1 finger.
When she comes over whisper in her ear i made you come with 1 finger imagine what i can do with my hole hand:pac::pac:

HellFireClub

Rds1989 wrote: »

Ha, did you get it back to the farmer at least?

Yeah all sorted the next day and a few pints for the finder fair play to the farmer! I've rode worse haha! :D:D

HellFireClub

saywhatyousee wrote: »

My really cheesy chat up lines said them a couple of nights for the crack. my favorite
Point to a girl at the bar gesture for her to come over to you using 1 finger.
When she comes over whisper in her ear i made you come with 1 finger imagine what i can do with my hole hand:pac::pac:

I was over in Edinburgh a few years ago (back before the days of mobile phones haha!), and we were playing this game called "bird or chat up line"... It's basically a thing where you've a circle of lads and when it's your turn, you can pick the girl you have to chat up, or else you can pick the chat up line but the lads get to pick the girl... Me thinking I was on solid ground, I picked the girl, a nice looking classy quiet dame up in the corner....

The chat up line I got landed with: "Go up to her, as her can she drive??? If she says yes, you've to drop your kaks, pull out your cock and ask her, "is there any chance you could reverse into this?!?"...

In Dublin, I'm sure I'd have been f*cked out of a club for that kind of behaviour...

DEFTLEFTHAND

Fell off a 4th floor balcony in Marbella.Managed to survive with minor injuries thank God, must have been the drink tensing my muscles up.

saywhatyousee

HellFireClub wrote: »

I was over in Edinburgh a few years ago (back before the days of mobile phones haha!), and we were playing this game called "bird or chat up line"... It's basically a thing where you've a circle of lads and when it's your turn, you can pick the girl you have to chat up, or else you can pick the chat up line but the lads get to pick the girl... Me thinking I was on solid ground, I picked the girl, a nice looking classy quiet dame up in the corner....

The chat up line I got landed with: "Go up to her, as her can she drive??? If she says yes, you've to drop your kaks, pull out your cock and ask her, "is there any chance you could reverse into this?!?"...

In Dublin, I'm sure I'd have been f*cked out of a club for that kind of behaviour...

Ha ha thats a good one.You probaly would of been charged with sexual assault aswell

Pdfile

i puked in a motts mouth before ( only a little, but if you cant lift it... i guess you shouldn't shift it... )