old guy in youth support group

LegacyUser

OK, the title says it all really.

The support group, I'm told, is for people aged 18-30, but this guy is clearly in his late 40's-50's.
To be frank, he makes me feel really really uncomfortable, as he's a bit odd in his nature.
The support group is for a mental health issue, but whenever it's his turn to talk, he always says, "oh, I'm fine", and doesn't really talk for long after that, as opposed to others who completely pour their hearts out, I sometimes wonder if he's got a mental health problem at all.
I'm not sure but I think he also makes new people reluctant to attend.

I don't know why the leaders of the group don't say anything to him, I mean the group says it's for young people, and he clearly isn't in that category. I think it's because, despite his odd nature, he does mean well and is polite, so maybe no one has the heart to say anything.

I don't know what to do. Maybe I'm being unreasonable about this, infact, typing this post makes me feel really guilty.

Thanks for reading.

tenchi-fan

Personally, I'd speak to a few others and if they agree with you take it the the supervisors.

He's middle-aged and pushing on old age. He probably has a mental health issue, and he probably could use a support group, but your group can't relate to him on account of the age gap.

ElleEm

I agree with the above poster. Speak with some others in the group, and then take it to the facilitator. They're obviously not strict on the age group, but it cannot be comfortable for the participants to share when this man isn't engaging as much as the rest of you. That could be somethin you speak to the facilitator about too.

IrishEyes19

I dont agree at all, First is he definately over 30? Nobody can judge anyone by age or guess for that matter.
Second apart from him not contributing to the talking, has he ever made any inappropriate gestures or said or done anything inappropriate towards you or someone else, because if you go complaining, Im sure these are the questions you will be asked and if this man is there either because he has a mental health issue and is lonely, shy and is trying to fit in. You could damage his chances by complaining.

Im not going against you by the way, just to make that clear. Im just warning you, in case it all falls back on you. best of luck

johnboysligo

I'm 25 but sometimes I look much older a good deal older maybe 35 at worst (its the hairline) and I'm starting to get a few grey hairs.
Just because I look older doesn't mean I am older cant judge a book by its cover as they say.

The leaders of the group don't say anything to him because its a support group they will only take action if he becomes disruptive or impacts the group negatively but don't forget participation is probably voluntary and no one said he has to share anything.

challenging someone to participate is a hollywood cliche when he feels the need or is encouraged he may share only what he wants to share "oh, I'm fine" is all he wants to share right now.

LegacyUser

Hi guys op here,
thanks for responding guys

he's definitely over 40, he once said some story about skydiving, or something simiar, that took part during the 90's and he said that he was only 40 then.

anyway he hasn't directly done anything inappropriate, so I guess I am being a little unreasonable. He needs support just like the rest of us.

Many thanks for taking time to read this and give some feedback.

mood

Talk to who ever is in charge. Tell them how you feel and maybe they could suggest he find a support group to suit him.

ongarboy

I agree that it seems unusual to have someone way older than the target age group participating in this group. It would be like having men sit in on women only issues groups or vice versa. I expect this guy would get better value and help attending a group that would discuss issues more in common with his age profile.

I would recommend asking one of the supervisors why the group welcomes someone clearly outside the age group it is catering for. However, I suggest you make a list of the things that bother you about him attending the group and why, so you can quantify your concerns when raising it with supervisor. If you and others are starting to feel alienated by this person's presence and feel reluctant to confide about your other issues in his presence, then the group dynamic is not working and that is something the organisers need to be aware of.