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Confused

  • 21-04-2011 9:46pm
    #1
    blue_0
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2 ✭


    Hi,
    I'm hoping that someone can help me out here. To explain, I'm seeing a new boyfriend since christmas and before him I've been in one long term relationship which broke down last year after 7 years. I'm really unsure about how to "act" and all that so my head is all over the place.

    I live on my own, bf lives with his parents. At first he spent a lot of time in my house which calmed down (and I'm happy about that). But now its cut back to seeing him once a week if im lucky. He has a lot on and has 2 kids that he sees most weekends so I get why I dont see him much.

    The main problem is he talks so much about commitment eg meeting his kids, meeting each others parents, friends. Thats fine. But when I said ok, meet my parents, he backed out. And twice hes invited me out with friends and cancelled at the last minute. Also, he sometimes just turns off his phone for hours on end and i cant reach him. I'm a busy enough person, have my work, have a social life etc but im beginning to feel really clingy.

    It entered my mind that maybe I'm being messed around and he doesn't live with his parents but a gf and im the bit on the side but theres no way he could spend so much time with me the first couple months if that was the case. When we are together hes amazing, fun and caring. So confused.

    I'm sorry about the length of the post. Am I over reacting or do I have reason to feel like this? I'm beginning to think I'm losing it.


Comments

  • #2
    thecookingapple
    Closed Accounts Posts: 130 ✭✭thecookingapple


    Difficult one, on one hand he has kids and rightfully they are his priority but you also should be, i suppose i will just put myself in his shoes momentarily and say that if it was me and i had a kids and i met someone who i wanted to commit to and i wanted to develop a relationship then i would involve that person and reasure that person that they have a part in my life and although my kids come first it should not be at the destruction of the relationship.

    I guess he maybe unsure of a future with you and he is holding back from introducing you to his kids, family and friends as then it would be official.

    I think its time you sat down and discussed if there a future her for both of you.

    Good luck


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