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Pre wedding courses?

  • 21-04-2011 8:18pm
    #1
    neris
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,084 ✭✭✭✭


    Could someone tell me what exactly happens at a pre marriage course and what the set up is. Have to try and organise ours for sometime in May and not sure what Im letting my self in for


Comments

  • #2
    artyeva
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,137 ✭✭✭artyeva


    are looking for the MRCS one or the ones like accord, etc.?

    we did the MRCS one. you book it and pay through their head office and they recommend you a facilitator in your area. you get given a date/time, and a set of questionaires, one for each of you to fill out [they're both the same questions]. it covers things like what are your and your partner's strengths/weaknesses, what attracts you to your partner, how do you deal with conflict in the relationship, lots of things along those lines, then a few things at the end about money, kids, responsibilities, etc. you fill them out and send them to the facilitator directly.

    then when you meet the facilitator it's very relaxed, and private. they'll go through your answers and you both get the chance to discuss things, be they any glaring differences or direct similarities. then she fills out the cert, and you both go on your merry way. there's only the two of you in there with him/her, it's about 2 hours but it flies.... job done!


  • #3
    detoxkid
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 621 ✭✭✭detoxkid


    artyeva wrote: »
    are looking for the MRCS one or the ones like accord, etc.?

    we did the MRCS one. you book it and pay through their head office and they recommend you a facilitator in your area. you get given a date/time, and a set of questionaires, one for each of you to fill out [they're both the same questions]. it covers things like what are your and your partner's strengths/weaknesses, what attracts you to your partner, how do you deal with conflict in the relationship, lots of things along those lines, then a few things at the end about money, kids, responsibilities, etc. you fill them out and send them to the facilitator directly.

    then when you meet the facilitator it's very relaxed, and private. they'll go through your answers and you both get the chance to discuss things, be they any glaring differences or direct similarities. then she fills out the cert, and you both go on your merry way. there's only the two of you in there with him/her, it's about 2 hours but it flies.... job done!

    Are they worth doing? I don't know if we are obliged to do one yet as haven't booked the church and my uncle who is a priest will marry us, so we might get away with it BUT is is valuable to do one anyway do you think?


  • #4
    artyeva
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,137 ✭✭✭artyeva


    you'll get some people saying that it was a complete waste of time, you'll get people saying it was a brilliant thing to do. you'll get horror stories from people that did the accord and other catholic-centred ones, you'll get religious people that loved them... these things are subjective.

    we're not catholic so this was the one we chose. you have to do your research and make a decision for yourselves. all i know is that we did it, and it was kinda fun to check in with stuff that maybe we had taken for granted but hadn't discussed in a while. it's a nice safe open place to talk about your relationship with a nice non judgemental person for a few hours, and have a coffee.

    a couple we know laughed at us [kinda b*tchily] about it when we told them that we did it, but then they're the kind of people that ridicule anything to to with talking, sharing, and would see discussing feelings as something shameful and dirty so as i said, these things are subjective.


  • #5
    Sergio
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,174 ✭✭✭Sergio


    detoxkid wrote: »
    Are they worth doing? I don't know if we are obliged to do one yet as haven't booked the church and my uncle who is a priest will marry us, so we might get away with it BUT is is valuable to do one anyway do you think?

    If your uncle will marry ye without doing the pre marriage course then i wouldnt be bothered.Ye will save yerselves over €100 as all it is in my opinion is a money making racket!


  • #6
    artyeva
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,137 ✭✭✭artyeva


    Colinboy wrote: »
    If your uncle will marry ye without doing the pre marriage course then i wouldnt be bothered.Ye will save yerselves over €100 as all it is in my opinion is a money making racket!

    oh, did yu have a bad experience at the one you did? what happened at it, i'd be interested to know.


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  • #7
    no fuss
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17 ✭no fuss


    We just did one in All Hallows on a Sat for a day 9.30-5 and it was a couple that ran it. You don't have to do any group work or anything - just questionnaires and discuss the answers with your partner. We found it painless enough as we have been living together for a few years. Topics were communication, beliefs, money, sex, children. A priest did speak to us for an hour but it was more about the logistics of a church wedding and paperwork.

    I actually thought it was worth it and I'm not overly religious but if money is tight, well then it is a bit of a money making racket.


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