The After Hours Rapture Thread.

MrStuffins · 20-04-2011 3:27am #1

This is the view of the very sane and stable preacher Harold Camping:

Article

The end of the world is nigh; 21 May, to be precise. That's the date when Harold Camping, a preacher from Oakland, California, is confidently predicting the Second Coming of the Lord. At about 6pm, he reckons 2 per cent of the world's population will be immediately "raptured" to Heaven; the rest of us will get sent straight to the Other Place.
If Mr Camping were speaking from any normal pulpit, it would be easy to dismiss him as just another religious eccentric wrongly calling the apocalypse. But thanks to this elderly man's ubiquity, on America's airwaves and billboards, his unlikely Doomsday message is almost impossible to ignore.

Every day Mr Camping, an 89-year-old former civil engineer, speaks to his followers via the Family Radio Network, a religious broadcasting organisation funded entirely by donations from listeners. Such is their generosity (assets total $120m) that his network now owns 66 stations in the US alone.

Those deep pockets were raided to allow Family Radio to launch a high-profile advertising campaign, proclaiming the approaching Day of Judgement. More than 2,000 billboards across the US are adorned with its slogans, which include "Blow the trumpet, warn the people!". A fleet of logoed camper vans is touring every state in the nation. "It's getting real close. It's really getting pretty awesome, when you think about it," Mr Camping told The Independent on Sunday. "We're not talking about a ball game, or a marriage, or graduating from college. We're talking about the end of the world, a matter of being eternally dead, or being eternally alive, and it's all coming to a head right now."
Mr Camping, who makes programmes in 48 languages, boasts tens of thousands of followers across the globe, with radio stations in South Africa, Russia and Turkey. After 70 years of studying the Bible, he claims to have developed a system that uses mathematics to interpret prophesies hidden in it. He says the world will end on 21 May, because that will be 722,500 days from 1 April AD33, which he believes was the day of the Crucifixion. The figure of 722,500 is important because you get it by multiplying three holy numbers (five, 10 and 17) together twice. "When I found this out, I tell you, it blew my mind," he said.
Recent events, such as earthquakes in Japan, New Zealand and Haiti, are harbingers of impending doom, he says, as are changing social values. "All the stealing, and the lying, and the wickedness and the sexual perversion that is going on in society is telling us something," he says. "So too is the gay pride movement. It was sent by God as a sign of the end."
Mr Camping, who founded Family Radio in the 1950s, grew up a Baptist. Many of his strongly held views – he does not believe in evolution and thinks all abortion should be banned – are relatively commonplace among America's religious right.
Critics point out that this isn't the first time Mr Camping has predicted the second coming. On 6 September 1994, hundreds of his listeners gathered at an auditorium in Alameda looking forward to Christ's return.
"At that time there was a lot of the Bible I had not really researched very carefully," he said last week. "But now, we've had the chance to do just an enormous amount of additional study and God has given us outstanding proofs that it really is going to happen."
Mr Camping's argument has convinced Adam Larsen, 32, from Kansas. He is among scores of "ambassadors" who have quit their jobs to drive around America in Family Radio vehicles warning of the impending apocalypse. "My favourite pastime is raccoon hunting," Mr Larsen told CNN. "I've had to give that up. But this task is far more important."

TL;DR : US Preacher reckons he has worked out the exact date of the rapture, May 21st. And 2% of humankind will be brought to heaven and the rest will burn in hell.

I gotta say, i'd love if the 2% brought to Heaven were the homosexuals! I'd imagine all these happy clappy Christians would finally get to see the true image of Jesus in this case........ trollface.jpg with long hair and a beard :P

Saila · 20-04-2011 3:29am

MrStuffins wrote: »

This is the view of the very sane and stable preacher Harold Camping:

does not compute

AlmightyCushion · 20-04-2011 3:32am

Sweet. My toughest exam is the day after that. Screw studying, I'm getting pissed.

MrStuffins · 20-04-2011 3:33am

Saila wrote: »

does not compute

I'll get your sarcasm chip seen to right away.............

dar4 · 20-04-2011 3:41am

MrStuffins wrote: »

This is the view of the very sane and stable preacher Harold Camping:

Article

TL;DR : US Preacher reckons he has worked out the exact date of the rapture, May 21st. And 2% of humankind will be brought to heaven and the rest will burn in hell.

I gotta say, i'd love if the 2% brought to Heaven were the homosexuals! I'd imagine all these happy clappy Christians would finally get to see the true image of Jesus in this case........ trollface.jpg with long hair and a beard :P

at wat stage of life do u people ? all religions ? all coluors? relalise its all about money and who got the most as a wise man once said u cant bring it with u

so from here on in lets talk about it as in wats ur porblem well this is mine

cant we talk about it if not we can keep on hurting each other with even bigger weapons

instead of peace we dont hav to agree but at least we can agree to dis agree

MrStuffins · 20-04-2011 3:44am

dar4 wrote: »

at wat stage of life do u people ? all religions ? all coluors? relalise its all about money and who got the most as a wise man once said u cant bring it with u

so from here on in lets talk about it as in wats ur porblem well this is mine

cant we talk about it if not we can keep on hurting each other with even bigger weapons

instead of peace we dont hav to agree but at least we can agree to dis agree

And the lord sayeth onto thee............. what the f*ck are you on about?

Yakult · 20-04-2011 3:48am

is confidently predicting the Second Cuming of the Lord

Staring Jesus H. Christ featuring Virgin Mary.

dar4 · 20-04-2011 3:52am

Yakult wrote: »

Staring Jesus H. Christ featuring Virgin Mary.

this time around i hav a 12 g shotgun

jews duck

and the rest of u

Yakult · 20-04-2011 3:54am

dar4 wrote: »

this time around i hav a 12 g shotgun

jews duck

and the rest of u

Jewish duck?

dar4 · 20-04-2011 4:00am

Yakult wrote: »

Jewish duck?

no they knew i was coming we did adeal

and the rest of u duck

Zillah · 20-04-2011 4:04am

This is brilliant! I love when these morons make total fools of themselves. Oh how oh how I would love to be with him when he realises he was wrong. So public, so international, so wrong.

I also wonder if he'd sign all of his 120 million dollars over to me the day before. If he really believes it he has no reason not to.

MrStuffins · 20-04-2011 4:07am

Zillah wrote: »

This is brilliant! I love when these morons make total fools of themselves. Oh how oh how I would love to be with him when he realises he was wrong. So public, so international, so wrong.

I also wonder if he'd sign all of his 120 million dollars over to me the day before. If he really believes it he has no reason not to.

This is excellent actually! Sure there are people quitting their jobs to help him, surely he must stand up for his conviction!

I'm pretty sure he'll make some sort of excuse as to why he was wrong and predict again, perhaps we're in for a wintertime rapture?

dar4 · 20-04-2011 4:11am

Zillah wrote: »

This is brilliant! I love when these morons make total fools of themselves. Oh how oh how I would love to be with him when he realises he was wrong. So public, so international, so wrong.

I also wonder if he'd sign all of his 120 million dollars over to me the day before. If he really believes it he has no reason not to.

by the way irish and at the min iv 2 50 cent and i just spilt the last bit i was drinking till i get my dole 2moro

now if u or who ever wana pick on a half drunk irish man with issuses

go ahead

ull lose

dar4 · 20-04-2011 4:18am

MrStuffins wrote: »

This is excellent actually! Sure there are people quitting their jobs to help him, surely he must stand up for his conviction!

I'm pretty sure he'll make some sort of excuse as to why he was wrong and predict again, perhaps we're in for a wintertime rapture?

i hope u got winter socks ?

Yakult · 20-04-2011 4:21am

MrStuffins wrote: »

This is excellent actually! Sure there are people quitting their jobs to help him, surely he must stand up for his conviction!

I'm pretty sure he'll make some sort of excuse as to why he was wrong and predict again, perhaps we're in for a wintertime rapture?

Seeing as I have alot of time on my hands, Im gonna go ahead and hopefully ask him directly. :pac:

jimthemental · 20-04-2011 6:20am

Ah ****, what day is the Heineken cup final?

20-04-2011 6:35am

Anyone here who is Catholic but ridicules the preacher?

RachaelVO · 20-04-2011 6:45am

I thought some "sane" morons had it down for the 21-12-12...

Well now it's going to end in May, that just messes up my summer plans..

*shakes fist at calendar* DAM YOU END OF THE WORLD, DAM YOU!!!

galwayrush · 20-04-2011 6:54am

Does he want us to send him all our money?

wildefalcon · 20-04-2011 6:56am

Hypothetically, if this doesn't happen, would he give me one of the RV campervans?

alexa5x5 · 20-04-2011 8:28am

Ive been studying for the last 7.5 years, if world ends Ill be so fooking pi$sed off, pretty much my entire life down the drain in school….then again, Im probably facing the dole anyway….come on massive meteorite!!!

20-04-2011 8:32am

But thanks to this elderly man's ubiquity, on America's airwaves and billboards, his unlikely Doomsday message is almost impossible to ignore.

Yeah? Watch me!

RedXIV · 20-04-2011 8:38am

Now see a TRUE prankster would find a way to drug the guy, let him wake up in a boiler room somewhere and have a guy dressed as the devil/Hitler tell him that he didn't make the 2%. Obviously have a recorder hidden somewhere so when he starts ripping the theory to shreds that you can broadcast it via his handily available radio stations

In a perfect world

Wibbs · 20-04-2011 8:40am

Maybe if he convinces a load of his "flock" to drink the dodgy cool aid/blow their brains out(they're bound to be armed) we'd be down millions of inbred creationist hicks by the 22nd? Result.

wild_cat · 20-04-2011 8:41am

I'm trying to think if I know any women who's due date is around then.

I'm fairly sure Damian was born to a local woman from back home about two years ago.. so surely the second coming of christ should be around the same area.

W.Shakes-Beer · 20-04-2011 8:43am

I don't know about you guys, but I plan to be laughing my ass off on 22nd of May.

20-04-2011 8:44am

Wibbs wrote: »

Maybe if he convinces a load of his "flock" to drink the dodgy cool aid/blow their brains out(they're bound to be armed) we'd be down millions of inbred creationist hicks by the 22nd? Result.

"Damn it, haven't you people ever been in a suicide cult before?!"

Mackman · 20-04-2011 8:44am

Dammit, ive got a BBQ that day, there was gonna be a bouncy castle and everything

kfallon · 20-04-2011 9:00am

May 21st isn't good for me, can they move it to the 23rd maybe so I get the two Guineas meetings in down at the Curragh!

Sorry to be awkward........ :pac:

Biggins · 20-04-2011 9:13am

Mr Harold Camping is going to look a right plonker when he wakes up as normal in May 22nd - and rightly so.

*Yawn* ...One more religious nut! Idiot.

kfallon · 20-04-2011 9:20am

alexa5x5 wrote: »

Ive been studying for the last 7.5 years, if world ends Ill be so fooking pi$sed off, pretty much my entire life down the drain in school….then again, Im probably facing the dole anyway….come on massive meteorite!!!

That's the spirit! :pac:

squod · 20-04-2011 9:20am

Rapture

hondasam · 20-04-2011 9:27am

might as well make the most of the next four weeks. One long party.

Sinfonia · 20-04-2011 9:28am

Well ****, I've got my driving test on the 20th, should I bother?

Plazaman · 20-04-2011 9:30am

Yup, done survived the last two end of the worlds, sure reckon I'll survive this 'un.

Plus my knees-a-twitchin' summit fierce, must be a storm a comin'

Faolchu · 20-04-2011 9:36am

according to this guy the crucification happened on April 1st AD33 so is this whole resurection/christianity thing just the worlds longest running April Fools gag?

rednik · 20-04-2011 9:45am

There goes my Roger Waters tickets for the 23rd.

Mr Freeze · 20-04-2011 10:09am

I think dar4 fell asleep.

Pity...

123balltv · 20-04-2011 10:56am

I dont care if the world ends tomorrow we all have to die sometimes

bring it on

SirenX · 20-04-2011 11:26am

ha wish I could see his face on the 22nd of may

MrStuffins · 20-04-2011 4:21pm

Lads, you're forgetting the big thing here............ JESUS IS COMING!!!

Every year we have big gigs in Croke Park, U2, Take That, Robbie Williams and more crap........

COME ON JESUS!! COME TO CROKER!! WE LOVE YOU IN IRELAND!

Orando Broom · 20-04-2011 4:24pm

Why does the arrival of Jesus mean that the world will burn? Maybe he'll arrive and say soemthing like 'Jaysus turned out better than I expected', like when you land in Bulgaria.

DanWall · 20-04-2011 4:30pm

The Bible says, no one knows the time.

Unpossible · 20-04-2011 4:33pm

MrStuffins wrote: »

TL;DR : US Preacher reckons he has worked out the exact date of the rapture, May 21st. And 2% of humankind will be brought to heaven and the rest will burn in hell.

Damn, my thesis is due on the 20th