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Confused about feelings.

  • 17-04-2011 8:49pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I'm female and in my mid twenties. Always thought of myself as straight. But over the past while Ive fallen for a girl in my sports team. I don't know if she's gay, straight or bi. And have no way of finding out. Every time I see/talk to her I get a fluttery feeling inside. What do I do?


Comments

  • #2
    donkey oatey
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 261 ✭✭donkey oatey


    Sexuality is a scale (according to a psychologist called Kinsey (i think) anyway) from 1 to 10, absolutely straight to absolutely gay and tht leaves a lot of grey area (ie potential for bisexuality). At the end of the day we're people more than just guys or girls and something about this PERSON is evoking a response. I think you need to work out if you could be with her sexually. If you want to be with her then maybe ask her out to a movie/for a drink/art exhibition or whatever interest you share and be open to how she's responding to you.

    I know you said you've always thought of yourself as straight but have you fancied a girl before?

    I saw on meetup.com that there's a bisexual girls group in dublin and they're havng a monthly meeting on wednesday. There's also a lgbt helpline on 1890 929 539 from 7-9pm mon-fri. You're the only one who can work out what you're feeling but do talk about it if you feel the need.


  • #3
    santana75
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,332 ✭✭✭santana75


    Searching desperately for help! wrote: »
    I'm female and in my mid twenties. Always thought of myself as straight. But over the past while Ive fallen for a girl in my sports team. I don't know if she's gay, straight or bi. And have no way of finding out. Every time I see/talk to her I get a fluttery feeling inside. What do I do?


    I'd be wary if you're in your mid twenties and only now thinking youre gay. Like has been said already, sexuality is more often than not, a continum with lots of shades of grey. I think what defines your sexuality is what you do and think about most of the time.
    Aswell Id say make sure you're not confusing admiration for sexual attraction. I read an article on the subject of sexual identidy and it talked about how people can confuse feelings of admiration for someone of the same sex for sexual feelings. That they see characteristics or traits in that other person that they would desire to have in themselves. It also talked about how people who come from homes where there was a poor or non existent role model of the same sex present. So if you're mother ran off with the milkman when you were 10 years old and you had no older sisters to look up to, then the chances are you will look to other women to fulfill that role that was never provided for you. And these feelings of needing a role model can be confused with attraction.
    All Im saying is are you sure your feelings are sexual?


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