Giving oral makes me vomit :(

LegacyUser

Its all in the title really, when i give my oh oral, i vomit. As soon as i get close to his penis i start gagging and if i persevere i vomit. Every time. I try to hide the vomitting from him but most of the time its impossible if i just stop and run to the bathroom and put on taps. He's always going on at me that he wants it more often so now i don't know what to do. I really dislike the taste and i've tried thinking about absolutely everything during to distract myself but it always ends up with me getting sick. Even when i get sick the sick feeling stays with me for hours after. Is there anyone who can help me with this or has heard about it efore. I'm worried my oh might leave over this

DeadlyTwig

I know it might be hard but please stop trying to force yourself to do it.

If he cares in any way about you then he shouldn't be trying to make you feel guilty. You've been trying to do it but can't, it's not as though you are outright refusing to do it.

Talk to him about it and if he leaves you anyway then you are better off without him.

take care x

cafecolour

That's a pretty strong reaction to giving oral!

Does he wash himself before you go down on him?

CDfm

The answer is very simple. Do not do it. I would not do stuff with my partner if it made me puke.

Tell the guy it.You dont have to be blunt about it but make a plan if you are afraid to raise an issue.

An idea might be to get a book on sex for the bedroom. You could steer him into a bookshop and go to the shelves. So the bedroom is on the agenda in a how too way.

There is no right or wrong in these things but there is experience and inexperience and turn on's and turn off's. And being adventurous is a two-way street.

Me and my OH have a book somewhere -lots of people do. You can pick them up in easons or any big book store.

S23

Don't keep doing it if you don't like it and don't worry about your OH leaving you if you can't perform the act because anyone who actually cares about you wouldn't behave like that.

It really does seem quite an OTT reaction, though, physically speaking. You're perfectly entitled to not enjoy it or not want to do it but the reaction is extreme.

Are you mentally alright with the idea of performing oral? Or is it something that doesn't exactly do it for you on any level and even the thought of the act in general doesn't do it for you? The reaction could be psychosomatic to some degree.

I'd really have to worry about his cleanliness to be perfectly honest, although, that might not be the case. As far as I am aware diet and lifestyle (amount of alchol consumed etc..) can have quite an impact on the taste of semen. Apparently a glass of pineapple juice a day is good for that.

If it's something you actually think you'd enjoy doing and want to do, for yourself and not just for the sake of doing it, then you need to explore all avenues as to why you react so strongly. If it's something you only do because you feel that you should then you need to just pack it in because you're not obliged to do anything you don't like

LegacyUser

S23 wrote: »

It really does seem quite an OTT reaction, though, physically speaking. You're perfectly entitled to not enjoy it or not want to do it but the reaction is extreme.

Telling me the reaction is extreme is a bit unfair i think. I don't choose to vomit, i would obviously prefer to not have to vomit-wouldn't anyone!!!!!

I've seen other threads here about how men shouldn't be expected to put up with no oral, that they should either leave or cheat or rarely even push the woman into doing it. Its from those threads that i'm worried he might leave me if i stop it because it seems to be common thought both from woem and men.

When i smell semen or taste it i start gagging, even if he doesn't come in my mouth if i'm doing it for a few mins i hurl. It happens every single time. I would love to be able to enjoy it, and to take part in his enjoyment b ut i can't enjoy something thats making me vomit

He works outdoors but would be clean. Depending on what exactly he has been doing that day there could be a bit of a smell but not usually a smell specifically from nether regions. Its the actual smell of semen that would put me off first with the first taste. He doesn't push himself into my mouth, he used to but we thought that was why i was getting sick so he stopped but sickness continued.

He does drink but not much. He wouldn't have a drink every night of the week or anything and i have never seen him have more than five drinks, even that is very rare. The usual intake would e two pints on a sat night and one glass of wine during week. He eats a lot of junk food, and fried food. Would this make the taste worse?

fghijkl

It really does seem quite an OTT reaction, though, physically speaking. You're perfectly entitled to not enjoy it or not want to do it but the reaction is extreme.

+1

Have you ever given oral to anyone else besides your current partner OP?
Is it just with him this happens?

I really dislike the taste and i've tried thinking about absolutely everything during to distract myself but it always ends up with me getting sick.

OP is it the taste throughout the whole act you dislike, or just the taste of cum?
It sounds like you've got yourself so worked up about the end point, the actual ejaculation itself, that the whole act now puts you off, and you've built up a huge complex about it. You don't have to swallow OP, loads of women don't.

Why don't you try just starting from scratch again OP, try using flavoured condoms to take away taste, and if you know he's not going to cum in your mouth, it might take the pressure off, make it less daunting and you less anxious. You can gradually build it up from there then, try without condom, but finish him off by hand etc...

Although OP some guys just taste worse than others, you may just genuinely not like how he tastes...

If your bf is making you do something he knows you hate though OP, get rid of him, he should absolutely have enough respect for you to not pressure you into doing things you don't want to do.

fghijkl

Telling me the reaction is extreme is a bit unfair i think. I don't choose to vomit, i would obviously prefer to not have to vomit-wouldn't anyone!!!!!

OP i don't think the comment was meant in that way, being honest it is an extreme reaction, that doesn't mean your reaction is intentional, or wrong.

If i said i had a phobia of spiders and when ever i saw one i physically shook from fear and vomited, i'm sure you'd say it was an extreme reaction.

LegacyUser

I rarely make it to the end point. I gag as soon as i can taste or smell anything. Its happened with other guys but i've never tried to force myself into it like this before. I'm just trying to get over it but its getting worse.

He doesn't want to bother with condoms as he can't feel anything with condoms. We don't use them at all, other methods of contraception.

Nothing about him coming makes me sick, i've seen it and felt it often enough, but just giving oral makes me sick. Its not about the end point at all, as i said i rarely get to an end point before i get sick.

If i have given him oral and ever go to kiss him he pulls away and asks me to brush my teeth, he says its disgusting to kiss me after i've given oral, is that a usual thing?

CDfm

Not really in the same league as oral sex.

It is not an extreme reaction if you dislike it.

Ambrosia creamed rice does the same to me. Is it the colour, smell, taste ,texture or the whole ambrosia experience. I dunno. I cant explain it. It just is. Putting strawberry jam in it would not change my revulsion.

If my partner said to me -if you loved me you would eat the rice. I probably couldnt. If she introduced anbrosia creamed rice into the bedroom she would probably expect a vomit experience.

On this it may be the whole experience or it could be the taste or the technique.

Not being flippant, but OP what is it for you. I am sure lots of other people feel the same and you probably have gels and syrups you can buy in sex shops etc for the taste.

Or is it the whole experience.

Work it out in your mind first.

Oryx

vomit girl wrote: »

If i have given him oral and ever go to kiss him he pulls away and asks me to brush my teeth, he says its disgusting to kiss me after i've given oral, is that a usual thing?

Its not unknown for a guy to act like that, and I always see it as a hell of a double standard, its his penis, he knows where it's been!

There is no obligation on you to give oral if you dont like it. Forcing yourself just makes the whole thing into a dreaded experience which could end up affecting other aspects of your sex life. (Avoiding intimacy altogether in case he wants oral).

All you can do is explain you cant give oral. If he cant handle that, he needs to find a way of dealing with it, but he shouldnt want you doing something that repulses you.

S23

Sorry if there is any confusion OP. I wasn't saying that you choose to react in an extreme fashion. I know you don't want to. However vomiting is an extreme reaction for a person to have. I would imagine the vast majority of women wouldn't vomit when performing oral. In my own experience no woman I've ever been with has done so.

So when I say it's extreme it's not a criticism of you. It just made me wonder why your body/natural reflex is so strong.

You've said it's the taste now. If his semen is particularly pungent or foul tasting it could be related to his diet. As I said various differing diets apparently leads to different tasting semen. I've no idea if drinking pineapple juice actually helps with the taste but it must be worth a go. It's hardly a big deal for him to drink a glass or two a day.

As for the not wanting to kiss you after oral because 'it's disgusting' does the same apply with him. Does he ever try and kiss you after performing oral on you? He might just not enjoy mouth to mouth activity after oral sex full stop

IrishEyes19

CDfm wrote: »

The answer is very simple. Do not do it. I would not do stuff with my partner if it made me puke.

Tell the guy it.You dont have to be blunt about it but make a plan if you are afraid to raise an issue.

An idea might be to get a book on sex for the bedroom. You could steer him into a bookshop and go to the shelves. So the bedroom is on the agenda in a how too way.

There is no right or wrong in these things but there is experience and inexperience and turn on's and turn off's. And being adventurous is a two-way street.

Me and my OH have a book somewhere -lots of people do. You can pick them up in easons or any big book store.

Exactly, you dont like it. Tell him. If he makes a fuss about it, or guilts you. He's not worth it in the end. Dont ever think you're in the wrong for not wanting it, its not to everyones liking and theres no point doing it if you hate it.

I like CDfms suggestion here. Try some other stuff. See what else pleases him. It takes two to tango. It isnt all about him.

LegacyUser

Hold on a minute OP. What 'smell' and what 'taste' from semen are you talking about? I've never experienced any smell or taste from semen, in fact it's a pretty tasteless/odourless thing. Believe me. The nearest you could say is maybe the white of an uncooked egg but there is certainly not supposed to be any unpleasant taste or smell from it?
Perhaps your BF has some sort of infection? It must be bad if he can taste it himself off your mouth after you go down on him. A healthy man should not smell/taste of anything except clean skin.

Faith

I've debated about replying because I don't know how useful this will be...

OP, I was in a similar position in the past. I had a bad experience with giving oral once and it really put me off. I kept doing it, but it got to the point when I gagged so badly when he came that I thought I was going to puke. I built up a big mental block around it, and stopped doing it for ages. I was disappointed, because I actually love doing it, but I hated the taste.

Simply put, I overcame it by taking things slowly. I never told him my issue, but I'd do things like go down on him for a couple of minutes and then change to something else, or I'd suggest he come somewhere other than my mouth (which, luckily for me, he thought was a great idea). After a while, I started to keep a glass of water nearby so that I could get rid of the taste asap if I needed to. Then I figured out that if I kind of lifted my tongue as he came, it avoided my tastebuds and, coupled with the water, I hardly noticed it. After time, it stopped being an issue at all. There are still rare occasions when I suddenly think about what's happening and my throat closes, but I find if I just pause and take a deep breath I'm grand to keep going.

So basically, you can keep giving him oral if you want to, but change to something else before he comes. Or just work on techniques of overcoming this. It seems to have become a phobia now, but there's plenty of ways both around it, and to overcome it. Don't force yourself to do anything past your comfort zone, but don't rule out oral sex completely either.

You can give him oral and when he's close to ejaculating switch to other forms of stimulation.

I've no huge issue with semen, but I'd rather it wasn't in my mouth. I've friends who are like this too. The general consensus is that there's never been any complaints about pulling away near the finish line and doing something else. The guy gets oral, he becomes stimulated to the point of ejaculation, he ejaculates. Most guys (afaik) don't put too much thought or care into where their semen ends up afterwards. As long as he has a good time, it's not that big a deal that you didn't want to swallow his sperm. And by not forcing yourself to let him cum in your mouth, you have a good time too. In fact I'd be willing to throw it out there that, in the majority of cases, a guy will get off more on you enjoying yourself in the act, than he will on you ingesting his semen afterwards. Knowing you're not going to have to deal with the sperm will probably make the entire act far more enjoyable. If your OH has an issue with this method, talk to him about it and find out why. I'm aware some guys might look forward to it to the point of getting a little pissed of, but it surely wont be a deal breaker.

LegacyUser

true-or-false wrote: »

You can give him oral and when he's close to ejaculating switch to other forms of stimulation.

While i appreciate people taking the time to reply, i have already said that i rarely get to the point where he is ejaculating before i vomit. Its not a problem thats only to do with the finish line, sometimes i would barely get down there before i puke.

I'm going to chat to him tonight and let him know that this happens every single time and i can't really live with it as is. He already feels he's mistreated in the oral area as he mentions consisitently when he feels he hasn't had it in a while. He does kiss me after giving me oral. I'm not too excited about receiving oral either, just don't get a lot of pleasure from it. Hopefully there is something we can work around but a lot of the suggestions that are made here i have already thought of or tried and haven't improved things much.

When i do get sick its the whole nine yards with the sick feeling, that acid in my throat, the cold sweat etc so its just a disaster all round

Mallei

Wait, am I missing something here? Giving oral makes you vomit and you continue to do it? Stop!

If it you hate it, then don't do it. Everybody has boundaries in the bedroom. Your boyfriend has plenty of ways to finish himself off other than forcing you to suck his ****, and if he can't deal with that then he clearly doesn't care for you very much.

Have a chat with him and calmly explain that from now on you simply will not be giving him oral sex. If he can't deal with that, then find a new partner.

FortyPlusHubby

vomit girl wrote: »

I've seen other threads here about how men shouldn't be expected to put up with no oral, that they should either leave or cheat or rarely even push the woman into doing it. Its from those threads that i'm worried he might leave me if i stop it because it seems to be common thought both from woem and men.

I must say I've never seen such threads, and the idea that a man who doesn't get oral is being mistreated is pure rubbish IMHO. I'm married 20 years, and I've never received oral from my wife. I have suggested it a couple of times, and when she said "no" I left it at that. Frankly it hasn't caused me any stress (though a general lack of sex has... but that's not the issue) so I think your OH should survive.

I think you need to discuss it with your OH and see what can be done to improve the situation. Certainly if he's sweaty down below it will be a most unpleasant experience for you, so it's important that he showers regularly. Strong foods do give rise to pungent body odours, so if he likes a lot of alcohol and/or garlicy food then he should maybe consider his diet as a contributory factor. I have heard that eating a pineapple every day for a week greatly improves the taste/odour so suggest that to him.

If all else fails, there's a raft of other sexual practices which can give just as much pleasure, so pick an alternative for him.

40pH

minidazzler

OP. if there is a smell or a taste off the general crotch region, then your man is not washing properly, simple as. There should be no smell out of that area if it is clean. If he has pubes, get him to get rid of them, they hold sweat which may be what you're smelling. Other than that if it's smegma, then he is just unclean.

cafecolour

vomit girl wrote: »

He eats a lot of junk food, and fried food. Would this make the taste worse?

Definitely does. A lot of dairy can and cabbage sometimes does.

The big one, for me, is smoking. Really affects it. Coffee can a bit as well.

Oranges and citrus in general improves the taste. Kiwi is also good. It's good for his health too.


My suggestion would be stop giving oral for now, and attempt to see if you can get yourself more used to the 'smell' of semen through gradual exposure.


And as said above, if it's a really strong smell, he needs to see a doctor, just to make sure nothing's infected. Prostate infections can be some dodgy business.

up for anything

what the actual feck wrote: »

Hold on a minute OP. What 'smell' and what 'taste' from semen are you talking about? I've never experienced any smell or taste from semen, in fact it's a pretty tasteless/odourless thing. Believe me.

I, for one, don't believe you. :mad:

There is a distinct odour and taste from semen.

I don't enjoy doing giving oral. For me, it's an unpleasant experience. I do it when I feel I have to but I don't have to like it. Try and substitute something else for it, OP. I had a friend years ago who used to tell her husband that, I can't think of a euphemism, tit **** turned her on far more than giving blow jobs. Her husband loved that and she is still happily married.

fghijkl

Hold on a minute OP. What 'smell' and what 'taste' from semen are you talking about? I've never experienced any smell or taste from semen, in fact it's a pretty tasteless/odourless thing. Believe me. The nearest you could say is maybe the white of an uncooked egg but there is certainly not supposed to be any unpleasant taste or smell from it?

That's nonsense, i enjoy giving oral so while personally i don't consider it "unpleasant" there is absolutely a taste and smell from semen, and it can vary hugely between men. There's not supposed to be an unpleasant taste or smell from tomato ketchup either, but even the smell of it makes me wretch, people have different responses to certain smells and tastes so just because it's not unpleasant to you, doesn't mean it's not unpleasant to the OP.

i've never tried to force myself into it like this before. I'm just trying to get over it but its getting worse.

OP please don't force yourself into doing something which repulses you. Sex is supposed to be enjoyable for the both of you.

He already feels he's mistreated in the oral area as he mentions consisitently when he feels he hasn't had it in a while.

If your boyfriend cares about you at all he'll respect your wishes not to do it, it's hardly the end of the world, there's a million other things you can do in the bedroom, which i'm sure he'd love, All the best OP

Corkblowin

OP, first of all I admire you trying to please your bf in a way he want even though you obviously hate the act. However I think he's being very selfish in guilting you into it and mentioning it all the time. Any guy that would leave a relationship because he's not getting any/enough oral isn't worth you making such an effort for. There are other ways as has been mentioned - Faith had some interesting ideas - but plenty of lube on your hands while playing with him would work pretty much as well - it's about intimacy and enjoyment in a relationship, not merely purely performing sex acts on each other.

vomit girl wrote: »

I'm not too excited about receiving oral either, just don't get a lot of pleasure from it

This line did catch me though. My ex was very similar, no oral for the entire relationship, and told me not to perform it on her, and her hands never went lower than my bellybutton - she had a real hangup about 'privates' and in the end it pretty much killed our relationship. Thinking about it I reckon it was pretty much down to her parents who would turn off the tv for the mildest 'raunchy' scene and so imprinted on her that nudity and sex was a 'bad' thing

The point is that it was a psychological / emotional issue, not a physical one, so I wonder is your reaction along the same vein? Just something worth considering.

I hope it works out for you - the fact you care is half the battle.

parker kent

up for anything wrote: »

There is a distinct odour and taste from semen.

I don't enjoy doing giving oral. For me, it's an unpleasant experience. I do it when I feel I have to but I don't have to like it. Try and substitute something else for it, OP. I had a friend years ago who used to tell her husband that, I can't think of a euphemism, tit **** turned her on far more than giving blow jobs. Her husband loved that and she is still happily married.

Definitely is an odour and a smell. Diet and body chemistry provide different smells and tastes. Bad diets lead to less appealing semen. Rubbish in, rubbish out if you will. Lots of fruit (especially pineapple juice) and a general healthy diet improve it a lot.

As for giving oral, nobody is under an obligation. Different couples come to different arrangements. If you really don't want to do something, you should not have to do it. If that is a deal breaker, the couple may not be that suited. I think you should be able to compromise and keep everybody happy.

Also, OP have you tried oral whilst using flavoured lubes? It may make the taste less unpleasant. Plus he should always have good personal hygiene. Maybe only try it after he has had a shower (and make sure he washes properly). Then as I say above, an improved diet would make a difference too. But if you still don't want to do it, nobody should be forced to do what they don't want to do.

Ickle Magoo

vomit girl wrote: »

While i appreciate people taking the time to reply, i have already said that i rarely get to the point where he is ejaculating before i vomit. Its not a problem thats only to do with the finish line, sometimes i would barely get down there before i puke.

Don't worry about it. Some people just have a very sensitive gag reflex while others can easily deep throat - there is enough out there to have in your "repertoire" that this one activity shouldn't be too sorely missed. Just be upfront and tell your partner you find it impossible to perform oral without puking and what else would he like instead. Everyone has their likes and dislikes, their turn ons and turn offs, take it off the menu for a while - so to speak - and don't attempt it unless YOU really feel like it and see if that helps?

All the best.

bridal

Please try not to make this into a big issue, its not. you dont like giving oral as it makes you gag, there are plenty of other types of enjoyment you can get from sex without the oral part, at least until you are ready to broach it again

As you say speak to your OH and go from there

Kimia

I sense from your posts that your boyfriend is a bit pushy on the issue. He used to push himself forcefully into your mouth? I'd be puking too. And he complains constantly when he doesn't get it? How unattractive. Maybe it's a mind thing - you associate it with being forced and you don't like it.

Also from a practical point of view, if you want to continue, try some chocolate, cream, juice etc - anything that you use to make it taste better.

Fluorescence

Your bf sounds like a pushy, selfish jackass to be perfectly honest. He knows it makes you violently ill every single time and has the audacity to complain you don't voluntarily choose to suck him off more often?? :eek: :eek: :eek:

I'd be running miles.

Count Duckula

If giving oral makes you vomit then don't do it, quite simply. Does all form of genital contact make you feel queasy? He might still be happy enough with other types of "fun". And if not then you're clearly sexually incompatible; no one is at fault, it's just that if it bothers him that much perhaps he needs to look elsewhere.

Mallei

Count Duckula wrote: »

If giving oral makes you vomit then don't do it, quite simply. Does all form of genital contact make you feel queasy? He might still be happy enough with other types of "fun". And if not then you're clearly sexually incompatible; no one is at fault, it's just that if it bothers him that much perhaps he needs to look elsewhere.

No one is at fault? The OP's boyfriend is clearly at fault. He's practically forcing her to do something that makes her throw up, and he's doing it via emotional blackmail. The guy sounds like a total sh1t.

And why does he have to get any "genital contact" at all? Assuming they're already having sex, he's getting his fun. It's not his girlfriend's job to provide him with orgasms whenever he demands them - if he's that pubescently immature he can go and use his hand.

Wibbs

Sorry, dunno how you stand for this OP. I understand doing stuff for your partner that they love but you may not be pushed about is one thing, vomiting every time is quite another.

OK forget you for a moment, what about him? Is he Mr Thickity Thick of Thickania? Good god if my girlfriend was hurling chunks during some sex act or other I'd be stopping that particular act. More like Mr Selfish of 1 Bastard Drive. I'm shaking my head here. I really am.

Honestly if he doesn't see why this is a problem and keeps looking for this then like I said he's either thick or selfish or both. I'd scrape him off so fast. I really would. Maybe I'm being harsh here, but this sounds crazy.

up for anything

FortyPlusHubby wrote: »

I must say I've never seen such threads, and the idea that a man who doesn't get oral is being mistreated is pure rubbish IMHO.

There have been lots of them and I don't blame the OP for wondering on the basis of them whether she was in the wrong or not!

Fluorescence

Wibbs wrote: »

Sorry, dunno how you stand for this OP. I understand doing stuff for your partner that they love but you may not be pushed about is one thing, vomiting every time is quite another.

OK forget you for a moment, what about him? Is he Mr Thickity Thick of Thickania? Good god if my girlfriend was hurling chunks during some sex act or other I'd be stopping that particular act. More like Mr Selfish of 1 Bastard Drive. I'm shaking my head here. I really am.

Honestly if he doesn't see why this is a problem and keeps looking for this then like I said he's either thick or selfish or both. I'd scrape him off so fast. I really would. Maybe I'm being harsh here, but this sounds crazy.

I love your way with words, Wibbs :pac:

The above really hits the nail on the head though. OP, your bf is either insufferably thick or selfish, or both.

LegacyUser

OP,

If you wanna keep trying, one thing you can try is to suck on his balls.

Most guys love this as well and it means you'll have less time with his penis in your mouth while still pleasuring him.

up for anything

up for anything wrote: »

There have been lots of them and I don't blame the OP for wondering on the basis of them whether she was in the wrong or not!

Gotta agree, there was one recently which shocked me a bit. IIRC there was one comment along the lines of if she doesn't care enough to give you oral even though she doesn't like it, she shouldn't be surprised if you cheat on her.

OP you definitely deserve some reassurance that you're not in the wrong. You're really really not.

LegacyUser

OP, if its something mandatory to BJ your inconsiderate BF, let him eat pineapple or citrus fruits couple of hours before sex, and most importantly, make sure he doesnt drink beer or eat red meats because they make the sperm taste very awful.

try the pineapple :-)

Distorted

vomit girl wrote: »

I've seen other threads here about how men shouldn't be expected to put up with no oral, that they should either leave or cheat or rarely even push the woman into doing it. Its from those threads that i'm worried he might leave me if i stop it because it seems to be common thought both from woem and men.

vomit girl wrote: »

I rarely make it to the end point. I gag as soon as i can taste or smell anything. Its happened with other guys but i've never tried to force myself into it like this before. I'm just trying to get over it but its getting worse.

No-one should force themselves to do something sexually that they feel uncomfortable with. This is a basic tenet of self respect and self confidence and if you are doing it for the above reasons, then you might want to have a think about that. I doubt that your boyfriend really expects you to have the full range of sexual techniques of a sex worker. Take some of the threads on here that suggest this is what guys are looking for with a big pinch of salt. There are many, many kind, gentle guys out there who would not ask you to do oral unless you wanted to.

I'm surprised your boyfriend hasn't noticed your reaction. What would happen if you just stopped doing it, and does your reaction have anything to do with the number of times you have to do it i.e. does he expect oral every time you have sex?

LittleBook

vomit girl wrote: »

when i give my oh oral, i vomit. As soon as i get close to his penis i start gagging and if i persevere i vomit. Every time. I try to hide the vomitting from him but most of the time its impossible if i just stop and run to the bathroom and put on taps.

vomit girl wrote: »

He's always going on at me that he wants it more often so now i don't know what to do.

vomit girl wrote: »

He doesn't push himself into my mouth, he used to but we thought that was why i was getting sick so he stopped

vomit girl wrote: »

He doesn't want to bother with condoms

vomit girl wrote: »

If i have given him oral and ever go to kiss him he pulls away and asks me to brush my teeth, he says its disgusting to kiss me after i've given oral

vomit girl wrote: »

He does kiss me after giving me oral

vomit girl wrote: »

He already feels he's mistreated in the oral area as he mentions consisitently when he feels he hasn't had it in a while.

vomit girl wrote: »

I'm worried my oh might leave over this

I'd be glad to see the back of him, to be honest. That sounds like a nightmare.

And as regards other threads here on similar issues ... everyone here (within reason) has the right to reply and just because one or two people think it's OK to cheat if you're not getting head, that doesn't mean there's entire threads saying that. In fact, very recently a mod pulled someone up for advocating infidelity.

Emme

Count Duckula wrote: »

If giving oral makes you vomit then don't do it, quite simply. Does all form of genital contact make you feel queasy? He might still be happy enough with other types of "fun".

You shouldn't have to do anything you don't want to, OP. If he isn't happy with that then he's being selfish.

Count Duckula wrote: »

And if not then you're clearly sexually incompatible; no one is at fault, it's just that if it bothers him that much perhaps he needs to look elsewhere.

I think it's the OP who needs to look elsewhere for somebody more considerate. She shouldn't have to force herself to do something that makes her vomit.

common sense brigade

If you really have such a strong reaction/dislike of semen. best advice i can give is lick and suck his penis and alternate between other parts of his body then back to the penis then kissing etc. dont stick at giving a blowjob to completion. just suck his penis and tease it to get him worked up enough then do other stuff and also sex. if you dont want to swallow semen you dont have to. make sure he washes before you go to bed. any smell down there is a no no.

aidan24326

vomit girl wrote: »

If i have given him oral and ever go to kiss him he pulls away and asks me to brush my teeth, he says its disgusting to kiss me after i've given oral, is that a usual thing?

To be honest I think if I was a girl that alone would make me not want to do it. What a dickhead.

Your boyfriend should not be trying to force you to do something that is unpleasant for you. Equally you need to figure out how you can get around this, make a genuine effort to confront your fears.

Do tell him how much you don't enjoy it, in fairness he may not be aware of just how much of a problem it is for you. And if he still insists on you doing it even still, then he's not a guy you want to be with. Simple as. I expect it won't come to that though. If you offer to substitute oral with other things (think breasts for example) I'm sure all will be well.

common sense brigade wrote: »

If you really have such a strong reaction/dislike of semen. best advice i can give is lick and suck his penis and alternate between other parts of his body then back to the penis then kissing etc. dont stick at giving a blowjob to completion. just suck his penis and tease it to get him worked up enough then do other stuff and also sex. if you dont want to swallow semen you dont have to. make sure he washes before you go to bed. any smell down there is a no no.

She's already said that even going down there makes her wretch. Helps to read at least some of the thread before you reply.

common sense brigade

and if i persevere i vomit

She said if she perseveres she vomits and that the Semen makes her gag. So i suggested not giving a blowjob to completion but use it as a form of play. occasionally going down there but not staying down there and vomiting.Compromise really.

aidan24326

common sense brigade wrote: »

She said if she perseveres she vomits and that the Semen makes her gag. So i suggested not giving a blowjob to completion but use it as a form of play. occasionally going down there but not staying down there and vomiting.Compromise really.

She actually said that they usually don't get anywhere near completion as she feels the gag reflex long before that.

wasper

vomit girl wrote: »

Its all in the title really, when i give my oh oral, i vomit. As soon as i get close to his penis i start gagging and if i persevere i vomit. Every time. I try to hide the vomitting from him but most of the time its impossible if i just stop and run to the bathroom and put on taps. He's always going on at me that he wants it more often so now i don't know what to do. I really dislike the taste and i've tried thinking about absolutely everything during to distract myself but it always ends up with me getting sick. Even when i get sick the sick feeling stays with me for hours after. Is there anyone who can help me with this or has heard about it efore. I'm worried my oh might leave over this

If turns you off then don't do it. If cares about you he will back off & respect your dislikes. He can clearly see that you run to the bathroom every time, so he has no excuse to be ignorant about it.

Emme

vomit girl wrote: »

Its all in the title really, when i give my oh oral, i vomit. As soon as i get close to his penis i start gagging and if i persevere i vomit. Every time. I try to hide the vomitting from him but most of the time its impossible if i just stop and run to the bathroom and put on taps. He's always going on at me that he wants it more often so now i don't know what to do. I really dislike the taste and i've tried thinking about absolutely everything during to distract myself but it always ends up with me getting sick. Even when i get sick the sick feeling stays with me for hours after. Is there anyone who can help me with this or has heard about it efore. I'm worried my oh might leave over this

I've just read your initial post again, OP. I think that if you continue to try to do something your body doesn't want you to do you'll end up making yourself feel worse. A lot worse. As it is you feel nauseous for hours after you try to give him a BJ, that's a form of trauma in itself.

I know you're saying that you read posts here which insinuate that girls ought to give their bfs oral all the time but don't mind everything you read here. Some of those guys advocating this could be 50 year old virgins for all that we know. I find the tone of some threads on these boards quite misogynistic.

I know you don't want your OH to leave, but you would be better off without somebody who doesn't seem to care that you suffer for his pleasure. If he insists on you going down on him even though it clearly nauseates you then it's abuse on his part. You don't have to put up with abuse, you'd be better off on your own. If you leave this guy you might have a chance of finding somebody more caring and considerate who would want you to have as much pleasure as him. Actually, you NEED somebody caring and considerate to help you get over the way you're being traumatised at the moment.

Right now you are literally making yourself sick for the physical pleasure of your boyfriend. Think about it.

LegacyUser

I think I know what types of threads the original poster was on about. There are often threads here that do nothing other than to try and fear some other women.
If you don't wear makeup, your husband will leave you, and you obviously have no self esteem or care in your appearance, or for your husband.
If you don't give oral, then he will get it somewhere else, because it's a 'fundamental' part of every sexual relationship. You should do something that you hate doing as a 'sacrifice' for the man you love.
If you don't have sex at least three times a week then your husband will cheat.(even though you are still having regular sex, but are tired and drained from work some nights, he will cheat if you don't have it every time he initiates it, because y'know you're hurting his feelings and pride and all by 'rejecting' him.)Obviously a serious lack of sex is a problem, but people come here preaching about the littlest things calling the posters selfish, or ill if they don't constantly feel in the mood for it..
If your husband has a job, and doesn't beat you or cheat on you, then you should be soooooooooo grateful, and willing to fufill his every want and need to thank him for being such a wonderful human being! Because you are "so lucky to have a good man, y'know".
Sadly, most of these replies are from other women....

I'm quoting the above from actual threads I've read here on Boards.
For the record, I have sex myself about 4-6 times a week, I do oral sex regularly, but if I'm ever not in the mood to I simply don't, I'll do something I am in the mood for instead that my boyfriend and I both like, and I would wear makeup and get dressed up if I was going to pub or nightclub or out for dinner.
I'm all for enjoying doing things that make your oh happy (him being happy would often in itself would make me happy too,)but I think that it should also work vice versa too.
I do not however think that anybody should have to do anything (especially sexual) that makes them deeply uncomfortable, or very very unhappy.
I don't expect all women to have sex as often as I do a week. Some will have more, some will have less.
Some people will like to wear makeup or dress a certain way, others will not but will make an effort in other areas of their appearance.
I don't however think there is something WRONG or 'abnormal' with women who are not like me.
Thankfully, most of the people in the threads I'm thinking off, people actually did give some helpful suggestions to the original posters about how to ease into trying new things, just to give it a go and see what it is like.
There are always a few however in these types of threads, who come preaching that the op isn't normal, is selfish, must be low in confidence etc., just because they are not willing to do something that they actually hate in order to please their boyfriends/husbands.
Seriously it's like they are auditioning for Stepford Wifes.
They seem to hero worship any man who simply earns a living and does not cheat and think that a woman is 'very lucky' to be with such a man, and must do whatever it takes to 'keep him.'(regardless of whether they enjoy doing something or not).
Why do you never see a thread telling a man that he is 'very lucky' to have a woman who does not cheat, or a woman who simply has a job? So lucky infact that he should pander to her every need and want in order to keep her from cheating, and to thank her for being sooo great. Never, because it should be just a given thing and to be expected as it should also be with males.

I never come across such backward thinking in real life. Yes, people both male and female should do little things to make each other happy, but I don't know anybody in a relationship who would expect their partner to do something that they actively hated and made them unhappy, and in your case physically sick.
All these couples are very happy because they can come to compromises. By compromise I mean finding something that they both enjoy just as much, and not one person agreeing to do the thing they hate 'some of the time'.

Thankfully vast majority on this thread are giving good advice.
It is a refreshing change to some other threads.
You can't and shouldn't keep doing something that is making you physically ill.
He either listens to your concerns, or you get well rid of him and find a man who would never want you to do something that you hated so much. There are plenty of good men like this, despite what some posters in other threads would have you believe.

vomit girl

vomit girl wrote: »

Its all in the title really, when i give my oh oral, i vomit. As soon as i get close to his penis i start gagging and if i persevere i vomit. Every time. I try to hide the vomitting from him but most of the time its impossible if i just stop and run to the bathroom and put on taps. He's always going on at me that he wants it more often so now i don't know what to do. I really dislike the taste and i've tried thinking about absolutely everything during to distract myself but it always ends up with me getting sick. Even when i get sick the sick feeling stays with me for hours after. Is there anyone who can help me with this or has heard about it efore. I'm worried my oh might leave over this

I'm a middle-aged bloke, and I have a straightforward solution to your problem - one that you've probably read countless times in this thread already.

Don't do it. Don't even try. And don't think for a second there's anything wrong with you for not wanting to.

It's your body and your mind, and if you don't like doing this then that is absolutely and perfectly OK.

And don't let any man tell you otherwise.

(Sorry if that's a bit blunt, but I honestly mean well.)

Neyite

I'd say that the discomfort you show in giving oral would be a big turn-off for most guys. It should be about mutual pleasure, not someone approaching sex with dread hoping that she is not expected to go down and therefore puke, and the other disregarding your distress and sulking like a child.

I would say to you to stop doing it, and tell him why. Lots of people dont do it, so dont feel that you have to. You dont. If he cares about you more than getting sucked off then he will want to ensure that you are comfortable and enjoying yourself.

Once the pressure is off, you might find that you want to try again - but thats up to you entirely. Personally if I experienced what you did, I would not, but if you do, ask him to prepare. His diet, and drinking habits will affect smell/taste. Lots of water, fresh fruit and veg, and ditching the junk food is the way to go here - along with a good wash. So, if you decide to persevere, at least put this rule down.

Emme

WollyScarf wrote: »

I'm quoting the above from actual threads I've read here on Boards.
For the record, I have sex myself about 4-6 times a week, I do oral sex regularly, but if I'm ever not in the mood to I simply don't, I'll do something I am in the mood for instead that my boyfriend and I both like, and I would wear makeup and get dressed up if I was going to pub or nightclub or out for dinner.

The frequency and nature of your sex life and your style of dress and makeup has nothing to do with the OP's issue.

WollyScarf wrote: »

I don't expect all women to have sex as often as I do a week. Some will have more, some will have less.

You know well that many women (and men) on these boards haven't have sex once in the last six months and some not in the last six years. For some this is by choice, for others it isn't so you're not being very tactful or considerate of these people. If you want to talk specifically about your sex life there are forums on boards for doing so.

WollyScarf wrote: »

Some people will like to wear makeup or dress a certain way, others will not but will make an effort in other areas of their appearance.

And some people, male and female, make no effort with their appearance whatsoever.

WollyScarf wrote: »

I don't however think there is something WRONG or 'abnormal' with women who are not like me.

Not all women are egotistical braggarts with no consideration for the feelings of others.

WollyScarf wrote: »

They seem to hero worship any man who simply earns a living and does not cheat and think that a woman is 'very lucky' to be with such a man, and must do whatever it takes to 'keep him.'(regardless of whether they enjoy doing something or not).

I think that a man who earns a living and doesn't cheat IS a hero, especially in Dublin where it seems to be the norm for married men to cheat. Many men suffer from peer pressure to cheat or from temptation by women throwing themselves at them.

OK, a man mightn't be a rugby forward, a top businessman or an arctic explorer, but sometimes it's hard to endure the daily grind and trials of an ordinary life with little thanks or acknowledgements for your efforts and keep on the straight and narrow. Ordinary people can be heroes too. This applies to men AND women.

I advised the OP here not to give her boyfriend oral if it makes her physically sick.

On another thread I advised a woman to compromise and wear a little makeup once or twice a month if it made her husband happy. He in turn could do something for her. It works both ways.

On another thread I advised a girl to persist with a nice man she didn't find attractive as it was early days and the attraction might grow. I'm not being backward but it IS hard to find good men (and some men might say it's hard to find good women) and once you find them you appreciate them.

I would still advise the OP here not to do anything that she's uncomfortable with or that makes her feel sick.

seenitall

Emme wrote: »

I think that a man who earns a living and doesn't cheat IS a hero,

Desperate stuff, Emme.

Having an attitude such as yours can only lead to a horribly unequal relationship, based on, frankly, not much more than desperation. Very, very unhealthy.

It would be unequal because any normal guy would surely think it crazy to put an ordinary, wage-earning, non-cheating woman on a pedestal the way you consider their male equivalents to be "heroes"; so right off the bat there is an inequality of feeling, making one person a "hero", and the other one a hero-worshipper - unequal, degrading and indicative of some serious self-esteem issues.

Just remember: when you look up to someone, you are giving them ample opportunity to look down on you; so make dam sure you are doing that for a very significant reason. I wouldn't call "not cheating" that reason in my worst nightmares!

I sympathise, but really Emme, you keep surprising me long after I thought I have read the most shocking of it... :eek: