Cant seem to get over him and its getting me down...

LegacyUser

I’ve been feeling a bit low lately and I was just hoping if people could cheer me up somehow...and I appreciate anyone who bothers to read and reply to this...

I was with a guy for all of last summer and we met up again over Christmas...well anyways long story short, we saw each other all of last summer but we ended up having to go to different colleges, Im in cork and he’s in Dublin, but we’re both from the same hometown. He liked me a lot though and it killed him to do this but he felt it was for the best. Anyways he ended things back in September. He thought the long distance think just couldn’t work and he said he just couldn’t do that to me because he only comes home once a month, plus he said he was going to America this summer with his best friends (who he barely sees) so we wouldn’t even have that together. I found that out at Christmas and we had a heart to heart talk. But I found out the other day that they’re not going away this summer after all (I’m not sure why). Now I feel as if, wow, they’re not going away this summer after all, and we could have actually stayed together and would have had the summer, it could have worked.

But the thing is now, I think he’s seeing a girl in his course up in Dublin...and out of all days I found it out on my birthday. Saw pictures all over facebook. I was accepting of it at first, I was actually proud of myself how little it bothered me, but now it just makes me sad that he’s found someone, Im just some girl in his past, if that’s where things are going. I’ve met guys since, and I’m kind of seeing someone in my course atm, but to be honest I don’t really like him that much in that way. I just can’t help but compare. In ways I think I just like the attention and the company because I just feel lonely. I was crazy about him and thought so highly of him, and it’s nearly eight months since and it still seems to affect my life. I can’t delete him as a friend on facebook nor his number because we always said we’d be friends, even though how hard I find it. I just can’t understand why it hurts me and I have feelings for him still. Ultimately, I think the thing that hurts me most is that I liked and cared for him so much more than he ever did for me.

I’ve tried moving on with other guys but that hasn’t worked. In the past ten years, he was the one thing that made me truly happy, something I had never been in years as I’ve had a few personal issues, and still have. Why can’t I just get over him?

MissFlitworth

It hasn't really been that long since you had the proper break up conversation, if he ended it in September but you thought that you would see him over the Summer when college was over and you'd maybe get back together you probably were carrying a torch for your relationship till Christmas. So, it's fine to still feel a bit crap about that 4 months on, especially as you thought it was only the distance keeping you apart.

It would be much better if people were completely honest when they broke up, he shouldn't have told you it was killing him to break it off with you & given you excuses about not coming home that often when it seems clear that he just wasn't really feeling it as much as you were. If he had felt the same way he would have tried to make it work.

I know you're saying that you can't delete his number & you can't get rid of him on facebook because youre supposed to be friends but, being blunt with you here, he won't be putting half as much thought into this 'friendship' as you are. Chances are he won't even notice. I don't mean to be mean but if he's seeing someone else he's already put you firmly in his past, does he ever text you or call you now?

This all sucks donkey balls at the moment but it will get better, give yourself a fighting chance though. It hasn't really been that long and you've had a couple of nasty surprises to make you feel really pants about the whole thing. Give it a bit longer

IrishEyes19

Hi, OP, I had a similiar situation in a relationship I was in. I know its hard to get over someone, and it takes ages. But I think from reading your post, that you are much better than this guy than you give yourself credit for. I really dont want to hurt you, but I think he used distance and his summer plans as an excuse to end it, only because if he had wanted you again, he would have contacted you as soon as he had some idea.

Don't torture yourself over these people. Especially when most likely they aren't giving it a second thought. Too many tears are wasted on people who don't deserve it. I'm beginning to take comfort in that luck will happen when its supposed to happen and you meet the nicest people in the least likely of places, when you least expect it.

Just remember you deserve to be happy now, let him off with his life and whoever he is seeing. And next time you run into him, dont even give him the satisfaction of seeing any pain. Just smile and keep walking. It's a tough journey getting over someone. But the day you do, you'll feel great and in regards to the guy you aren't that into. It might be time to end it so, dont become the person who hurt you in the first place. Just food for thought!! Best of luck