Really hot new girl at work, need some advice

samusaran253

There's this new girl at my work, I met her today. She's really hot and the only attractive (and young) girl at my work. Pretty much everyone else is an old lady in their 30s or older. Well, we talked earlier today for a bit, she was here filling out her forms and stuff to work here and I'm fairly certain she starts working tomorrow. She's really nice and so far I'm the only person there she has talked to (excluding our supervisor). Well we work in a job where it's kind of complicated as to what to do, and so I'm thinking about helping her on her first day, showing her how to do things and teaching her the rules and stuff.

I'm just going to be friendly and not like flirty or anything, how does that sound? I'd especially like a girl's opinion, how would you feel if a male co-worker was being friendly and helping you out on your first day of work? Also, I'm thinking about maybe buying her a coffee for her on her first day, does that sound like a good idea too? Please reply

beks101

samusaran253 wrote: »

an old lady in their 30s or older.

LOL. How old are you OP?

Personally I would absolutely hate for some guy to be all over me on my first day in a new job, it's a stressful enough time as it is without that added discomfort. Don't fool yourself either, we're pretty copped on when it comes to knowing these things and she'll see right through all your kind gestures and over-willingness to help her out.

Back off for a few weeks and allow her to get settled into the job. If she's as hot as you say she is she'll have no shortage of males admirers and you'll do yourself no favours by smothering her with attention and essentially creeping on her in a professional environment where you have a lot to lose.

LegacyUser

Oh wow OP i'm presuming you're very young about 16/17? You really are being very presumptuous...

I'd especially like a girl's opinion, how would you feel if a male co-worker was being friendly and helping you out on your first day of work?

I wouldn't feel anything tbh, i'd think you were just being friendly.
For all you know she could have a boyfriend, and just because she's friendly towards you it doesn't mean she fancies you.

I'm not trying to dash your hopes or anything, but if she's only started working it's a bit weird to start trying it on already, before you've even got to know anything about her, or even find out if she has a boyfriedf. I know when you're very young "being hot" is the main (only?..lol) thing you look for in a girl but play it cool, get to know her (who knows you may even find that once you get to know anything about her personality you don't even like her).

thefeatheredcat

if you're being helpful and friendly in being kind, grand if asked or think assistance is needed in breaking ice with people.

if someone was like that with what you're suggesting with me on day 1, it would scream pervy creep tbh.

be nice and kind and helpful but be respectful and get to know her too as a person and not as the "hot new girl"

oh and you never know she actually might know how to do some of the complicated stuff you do, don't take that for granted!

Mighty_Mouse

you're so keen your post reeks of hormones!!
work is a professional environment.
View her as an equal and a potential friend.
Treat as you would any other mate.

Partizan

samusaran253 wrote: »

There's this new girl at my work, I met her today. She's really hot and the only attractive (and young) girl at my work. Pretty much everyone else is an old lady in their 30s or older. Well, we talked earlier today for a bit, she was here filling out her forms and stuff to work here and I'm fairly certain she starts working tomorrow. She's really nice and so far I'm the only person there she has talked to (excluding our supervisor). Well we work in a job where it's kind of complicated as to what to do, and so I'm thinking about helping her on her first day, showing her how to do things and teaching her the rules and stuff.

I'm just going to be friendly and not like flirty or anything, how does that sound? I'd especially like a girl's opinion, how would you feel if a male co-worker was being friendly and helping you out on your first day of work? Also, I'm thinking about maybe buying her a coffee for her on her first day, does that sound like a good idea too? Please reply

whoah! slow down there sailor. Get to know her first as a friend, build it from there and then ask her out. if she says no, well at least you tried.

Katgurl

All the OP has suggested is making an effort to be helpful on her first day and buying her a coffee. I always make an effort to do that sort of stuff with new people unless I am completely and utterly up the walls, in which case I'd give someone else a hint to do it.

OP, its nice to be nice. Just don't read too much into it, if she is friendly back initially. Take it slowly getting to know her and see how you get on.

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

fungun

Permabear wrote: »

This post had been deleted.

He just said it was complicated, he didnt say that she cant figure it out because she is a woman Surely thats fair enough....where I work pretty much every new person needs a lot of help.


OP help her by all means. But remember starting a job is stressful and people new to a job might think its frowned upon to be with someone in work, or just take time to find their feet before they would even think of that. So pushing it at the start isnt the cleverest anyway. Be nice, but not overbearing, wait a few weeks/months and take it from there.

HugoDrax

samusaran253 wrote: »

There's this new girl at my work, I met her today. She's really hot and the only attractive (and young) girl at my work. Pretty much everyone else is an old lady in their 30s or older. Well, we talked earlier today for a bit, she was here filling out her forms and stuff to work here and I'm fairly certain she starts working tomorrow. She's really nice and so far I'm the only person there she has talked to (excluding our supervisor). Well we work in a job where it's kind of complicated as to what to do, and so I'm thinking about helping her on her first day, showing her how to do things and teaching her the rules and stuff.

I'm just going to be friendly and not like flirty or anything, how does that sound? I'd especially like a girl's opinion, how would you feel if a male co-worker was being friendly and helping you out on your first day of work? Also, I'm thinking about maybe buying her a coffee for her on her first day, does that sound like a good idea too? Please reply

Do not become her friend because when you have been friends with her for a month or two and then you suddenly go into fifth gear she will feel betrayed and all your hard work will seem like an act - which would be true because you felt an instant attraction for her and you never wanted to just be friends do you?

So why hold back? She is an attractive woman so you should be in no doubt that she probably has lots of guys who fancy her, ex-boyfriends who want to get back with her, nice guys giving her admiring glances on the bus or when she goes to get a sandwich at lunch and I'm sorry to say that for her you are 'Samurasan-what's-his-name' the 'nice' guy at work.

So don't get lost in the pack, step out, do the mating dance and bag her before she is snapped up by someone else.

If you try to just be friends that is as far as it will go.
You'll be sitting there getting frustrated with those older ladies for company.
If you pine away for a month or two over her and she rejects you, the grey office will suddenly feel greyer and you will feel very sore indeed.

So if she already is seeing a boyfriend and you make a move tomorrow and she says 'Thanks but no thanks' you won't feel so bad. You tried and you can tick her off your list of possibles.

If you make a move and she likes you then it's all good.

But whatever you do make sure you strike while the iron is hot or that ship will sail.

If she blows you out, why not start chatting up women you meet down the shops on your lunch break or if you are getting a coffee or sitting munching your lunch in the park get chatting to some young one throwing crumbs at the ducks? You've got nothing to lose do you?

Best of luck. We all have your back pal.:)

James400

Katgurl wrote: »

Take it slowly getting to know her and see how you get on.

I'd agree with that.

John400

Mighty_Mouse wrote: »

work is a professional environment.

Correct.

OP like it or not work is a professional environment. Nothing wrong with being helpful or friendly to this girl but if you take your eye of the ball in what you are actually employed to do it will be noticed by your superiors for a start.

What i would suggest you do is do your job to the best of your ability first and foremost, if you happen to meet this girl during the day by all means be friendly but don't start appearing around the areas etc where she is because this will freak her out.

Don't forget you actually are risking embarassment for yourself and risking your job in the process.

There is a guy who works with me who i know likes a fellow female colleague but he has to be professional whether he likes it or not.

I would agree with the concept of getting to know her better because this will give you a better idea to assess if anything is potentially there.

LegacyUser

Perhaps the best advice would be to do your job and stop seeing every woman you work with as fair game http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056232390

S23

I don't have a huge amount of advice to give you OP. I sometimes feel that these boards can be detrimental to young kids in these situations. It's all well us telling you not to be creepy and freak her out, and you might even heed our advice, but theres nothing like getting the auld knock back/slap across the face/drink over the head when you are young to get the message across and learn the lesson of how and how not to behave.

The only further thing I'll add is that Hugo Drax advice, which he's entitled to hold the opinion on, is IMO absolutely awful and unsuitable. 'Do the mating dance and bag her' :rolleyes: on her first day of work is going to make you look spectacularly unprofessional.

ergo

HugoDrax wrote: »

If she blows you out, why not start chatting up women you meet down the shops on your lunch break or if you are getting a coffee or sitting munching your lunch in the park get chatting to some young one throwing crumbs at the ducks? You've got nothing to lose do you?

Best of luck. We all have your back pal.:)

what the hell^^?!? great advice, think I read a book along those lines

and, yeah we all "have your back" .........here from the anonymous safety of our computer screens :rolleyes:

my advice is as per most people's ...don't get too in her face, do not ask her out on day one! Be helpful etc, give it time, everyone knows lots of romances do happen at work but hey, she might have a boyfriend....you can subtly find that out over the early days/weeks and then in classic Irish style make your drunken move on the first work night out or at the Christmas party :rolleyes: (or, alternatively, discretely ask her out after you've actually (over time) gotten to know her, know that she's available and that there's some sort of spark between ye)..best of luck!

tinkerbell

OP, you're in a work environment, not a nightclub. Leave her alone. It would be extremely unprofessional of you to try to woo her at work. You sound really young if you are thinking this, that just because she's the first bit of eye candy in your work place you should be all over her. Do not ask her out in work, it is just so unprofessional.

ergo

tinkerbell wrote: »

OP, you're in a work environment, not a nightclub. Leave her alone. It would be extremely unprofessional of you to try to woo her at work. You sound really young if you are thinking this, that just because she's the first bit of eye candy in your work place you should be all over her. Do not ask her out in work, it is just so unprofessional.

tinkerbell, it's a fact that a lot of people meet their partners through work. I agree, it would be unprofessional to just go ahead and ask her out on day one but I wouldn't rule out ever asking her out. It is a potential minefield though if it backfires so take your time OP and don't rush in

and to the OP, bear in mind that after you actually get to know her you may lose interest...she could be a complete head wrecker or bitch or the opposite of your type so again, don't rush in!

Mighty_Mouse

tinkerbell, it's a fact that a lot of people meet their partners through work.

True, but IMO it's usually a slow-burn, discreet, mutual attraction thing.
Whereby two people working together, over time realise that something is there.
It's never a straight-up coffee, chocolate bun, chat-up line "wanna go for a pint lovely" approach!!

tinkerbell

Mighty_Mouse wrote: »

True, but IMO it's usually a slow-burn, discreet, mutual attraction thing.
Whereby two people working together, over time realise that something is there.
It's never a straight-up coffee, chocolate bun, chat-up line "wanna go for a pint lovely" approach!!

Exactly, of course relationships happen in work - it happens everywhere! But this idea of treating the work place like "see a hot girl in a club and approach her on day 1" is just ridiculous and unprofessional.

Work relationships happen over a while, not just straight out ask the second you meet the person.

mood

tinkerbell wrote: »

Exactly, of course relationships happen in work - it happens everywhere! But this idea of treating the work place like "see a hot girl in a club and approach her on day 1" is just ridiculous and unprofessional.

Work relationships happen over a while, not just straight out ask the second you meet the person.

I agree. And I think the OP is interested because she is 'hot' and her personality doesn't even seem to come into it all that much. It sounds like he wants to 'score' rather that have a relationship with the girl.

OP if this girl is so good looking she is probably hit on all the time would would probably hate it happening in work (I would and have in the past). Just get to know her like any work colleague and if you have feeling (real feelings) for her in a few months then think about it some more.

John400

tinkerbell wrote: »

Work relationships happen over a while, not just straight out ask the second you meet the person.

Yeah, i agree.

Two people eventually can see that they have feelings for each after a while and i know of people who have met at work after knowing each other for ages. Basically feelings develop over time.

The OP is actually on dangerous ground here for a number of reasons-

*To a degree he actually is risking his job if he doesn't actually keep his eye on what he's actually employed to do. If he distracted by this girl it will eventually affect his work, not to mention his bosses noticing his work levels are dropping.

*Also, he must focus 100% on his actual job and be in his designated area in work, doing what he's actually being paid to do.

*Wandering- if he starts to wander off and appear around/ or follow this girl in work, it will absolutely freak this girl out making her think he's a nutter.

*Personal embarrasment/rumour- also don't forget colleagues have an amazing ability to suss out that two people like each other hence rumours start flying and the OP certainly doesn't need that.

And if he overdoes things in pursuit of her it will lead to personal embarrasment to the OP eventually.

Fentdog84

Give OP a break. Theres a new woman after entering his life,he's excited, he fancies her and he wants to win her over. Well, the last part is always the hard bit. There has been lots of attractive girls who I worked with but I was never able to get near. If you are getting on well with her, after a few days just ask her out for a drink after work and see how it goes from there. But don't wait too long or you will just be in friend territory forever. Best of luck, just think this time next week you could have an ultra-hot girlfriend!... Don't let the bastards get you down!!

EDIT: If she says no or reacts negatively, just back off for a day or two then just carry on your working relationship as if nothing ever happened.

joseywhales

"acting professional" is a way for incompetent people to keep their jobs, it's almost as bad as being corporate.

Go to lunch with her after a couple of days and ask her on a date, that is not being unprofessional that doesn't affect your job or your ability to solve problems at work in any way and at the end of the day thats all that matters. Obviosuly don't creep on her or get obsessed though, that obviously would affect you professional and private life.

She'll probably just say she just started a new job and doesn't want to get involved with a co-worker unless you're amazing looking or something. But at least you did and she might respect you for it. You can ask her out again in about 6 months when she's having a weak moment(i.e. drunken kiss).

John400

Fentdog84 wrote: »

Give OP a break. Theres a new woman after entering his life,he's excited, he fancies her and he wants to win her over. Well, the last part is always the hard bit. There has been lots of attractive girls who I worked with but I was never able to get near. If you are getting on well with her, after a few days just ask her out for a drink after work and see how it goes from there. But don't wait too long or you will just be in friend territory forever. Best of luck, just think this time next week you could have an ultra-hot girlfriend!... Don't let the bastards get you down!!

EDIT: If she says no or reacts negatively, just back off for a day or two then just carry on your working relationship as if nothing ever happened.

Totally disagree with that.

MissFlitworth

joseywhales wrote: »

"acting professional" is a way for incompetent people to keep their jobs

em - no, its a way of making sure that your behaviour doesn't make people you work with uncomfortable. Especially seeing as how they're stuck in an office with you for about 40 hours a week so if you act the sap that's an awful long time for someone to be sitting 10 ft away from you wondering what mad cr4p you're going to pull next

joseywhales wrote: »

You can ask her out again in about 6 months when she's having a weak moment(i.e. drunken kiss).

That made my skin crawl. Don't do that

mood

The OP doesn't even know if this girl is available! He doesn't even know if they get on or not. He is getting carried away IMO.

joseywhales

MissFlitworth wrote: »

em - no, its a way of making sure that your behaviour doesn't make people you work with uncomfortable. Especially seeing as how they're stuck in an office with you for about 40 hours a week so if you act the sap that's an awful long time for someone to be sitting 10 ft away from you wondering what mad cr4p you're going to pull next



That made my skin crawl. Don't do that

Thats fine but you can do it, that is what people do, that is why 90% of first kisses happen under the influence of alcohol.

The professional thing doesn't matter ,you're within your rights to ask anyone out and if they don't take it as a complement then thats their problem.

John400

mood wrote: »

The OP doesn't even know if this girl is available! He doesn't even know if they get on or not. He is getting carried away IMO.

Agree totally.

Let's be brutally honest here. The OP is at work so he HAS to be professional. That's the bottom line.

Also with the way things are for people generally at the moment the OP's job should most certainly be one of the main priorities in his life. A girl who he works with shouldn't be a priority for him. It can be hard to hold down a job these days.

If something develops with this girl eventually/over time at work then fair enough but your employment/ doing your best at your job should be concerning you first and foremost.

James400

joseywhales wrote: »

The professional thing doesn't matter ,you're within your rights to ask anyone out and if they don't take it as a complement then thats their problem.

The professional thing most certainly matters. You're not within your rights to put a member of the opposite sex under pressure from the minute they commence work.

Also if your superiors feel that you're doing that your P45 could well be around the corner.

Fentdog84

John400 wrote: »

Agree totally.

Let's be brutally honest here. The OP is at work so he HAS to be professional. That's the bottom line.

Also with the way things are for people generally at the moment the OP's job should most certainly be one of the main priorities in his life. A girl who he works with shouldn't be a priority for him. It can be hard to hold down a job these days.

If something develops with this girl eventually/over time at work then fair enough but your employment/ doing your best at your job should be concerning you first and foremost.

And thats how a lot of people end up marrying a job. Look I understand your point and true employers in general dont like workplace relationships. But i think if you are involved with someone at work or have a crush on them it dosent necessarily mean your work performance decreases, i think the correlation between those variables are pretty loose. At the end of the day its hard to control where and when you fancy someone. Never die wondering I say.

Distorted

Plenty of people meet partners through their work but there has to be mutual attraction. At this stage, she is going to be more interested in starting a new job than meeting a new boyfriend. Theres no need to rush and be all over her - give her the space to get to terms with her new job, be no more than friendly, helpful and polite and then in a couple of months, once she's settled in, try a few flirty comments like asking whether or not she has a boyfriend. Judge by her reaction if she's interested enough to ask her out on a date. If you are totally in her face all the time, she's going to think you are desperate and you are likely to get on her nerves.

S23

joseywhales wrote: »

Thats fine but you can do it, that is what people do, that is why 90% of first kisses happen under the influence of alcohol.

The professional thing doesn't matter ,you're within your rights to ask anyone out and if they don't take it as a complement then thats their problem.

And 76.2% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

Would you go away with your ridiculous assertions about the vast majority of people needing to be under the influence to initiate a first kiss. Maybe you're a kid and in your world boys and girls aren't mature enough to be able to approach someone or initiate a kiss without being gargled but in the real world people have no such problems. Spouting fictitious statistics as some kind of basis for opinion injects nothing to this discussion.

And the professional thing most certainly does matter. As long as he does not harrass this girl he is perfectly entitled to ask her out (on his own time not his employers and outside the workplace) and what happens there is her choice. However if she does already have a boyfriend or says no because she doesn't know this lad from adam and finds it incredibly creepy getting hit on as soon as she walks in the door then the OP is potentially compromising his professional credibility around the office. He'll very quickly get a reputation for being a bit of a lech if he hits on every girl that comes to work there on day 1. Then alleged fact that we all have his back :rolleyes: out here in internet land won't be much comfort for the 40 hours a week he's in the office where everyone thinks hes a creepy little pervert becuase of the way he behaves.

Let's be brutally honest here this isn't anything to do with wanting to date the girl. He doesn't know her at all. It's a case of pure lust based on nothing but how she looks. I do agree that work relationships can work if they are based on something substantial but I would very much doubt that a lust based interaction with someone he doesn't know would end very well for either party.

John400

S23 wrote: »

And the professional thing most certainly does matter. As long as he does not harrass this girl he is perfectly entitled to ask her out (on his own time not his employers and outside the workplace) and what happens there is her choice. However if she does already have a boyfriend or says no because she doesn't know this lad from adam and finds it incredibly creepy getting hit on as soon as she walks in the door then the OP is potentially compromising his professional credibility around the office. He'll very quickly get a reputation for being a bit of a lech if he hits on every girl that comes to work there on day 1. Then alleged fact that we all have his back :rolleyes: out here in internet land won't be much comfort for the 40 hours a week he's in the office where everyone thinks hes a creepy little pervert becuase of the way he behaves.

I agree.

First and foremost the OP HAS to be professional at work.

As has been alluded to, if he starts appearing in and around where this girl happens to be at the workplace it will eventually make her think that he's a nutter. Not good.

Also, he has to be seen to be doing his job in his designated area. If he genuinely meets her during the day then he can say 'hi' and be polite, fair enough.

Also i don't agree with the opinion that his crush won't at all affect his work, of course it could because the OP is distracted. I can only see probable personal embarassment for him and he's risking his job.

HugoDrax

John400 wrote: »

I agree.

First and foremost the OP HAS to be professional at work.

As has been alluded to, if he starts appearing in and around where this girl happens to be at the workplace it will eventually make her think that he's a nutter. Not good.

Also, he has to be seen to be doing his job in his designated area. If he genuinely meets her during the day then he can say 'hi' and be polite, fair enough.

Also i don't agree with the opinion that his crush won't at all affect his work, of course it could because the OP is distracted. I can only see probable personal embarassment for him and he's risking his job.

If everyone was that cautious and thought like that no men and women would ever get together.

With respect the OP was looking for advice not defeatism.

Ickle Magoo

Bit of realism rather than cheer-leading offered here OP.

This is the second thread you've posted in 9 days about two different colleagues. I think you need to get out more and meet women out-with the workplace because hitting on every woman under 30 that crosses your path in work is a sure fire way of getting a reputation for being a bit of a creep.

With regards to a brand new colleague, leave well alone. She's starting a new job, she's going to want to settle in and find her feet, she's not going to be interested in some guy who's only showing interested because she's the latest colleague to catch his eye, not because she's nice or single or whatever but because she's "really hot". At least give her time to get to know the job and you and find out if A) she's single, she's interested in you and C) the personality matches the aesthetics.

You are coming across as young and horny more than anything else and that's not a combination that any girl, far less a colleague is going to find very endearing, take a cold shower and a step back would be my advice.

All the best

James400

HugoDrax wrote: »

If everyone was that cautious and thought like that no men and women would ever get together.

With respect the OP was looking for advice not defeatism.

And the OP's been given good advice.

People can talk about this until they're blue in the face but at the end of the day the OP most certainly has to be professional at work.

Your understanding of cautious is professionalism at work.

As has already been alluded to if the OP starts making appearances everywhere this girl happens to be at work then she most certainly will think that's he's a nut-job.

Believe me he is actually risking his job because he's taking his eye off it by getting distracted by this girl.

John400

HugoDrax wrote: »

If everyone was that cautious and thought like that no men and women would ever get together.

With respect the OP was looking for advice not defeatism.

What's defeatist about being professional at work?

I'm not advocating that the OP is banned from talking to this girl. Not at all. If he happens to genuinely meet her during the day then he can say hello, chat to her, be polite, of course he can...as has been pointed out if he starts to appear everywhere this girl happens to be in the workplace he is giving her the wrong impression because she will think he's a lunatic.

I agree with concept of two people who meet at work generally get together after a few months and in some cases years. It is a slow burner kind of thing because colleagues initially like each other but they have to be professional then realise that something is there after a while.

Suffocating this girl with attention/delberately appearing where she is all of the time, even after a few months will give her the wrong impression. Not good.

James400

John400 wrote: »

I agree with concept of two people who meet at work generally get together after a few months and in some cases years. It is a slow burner kind of thing because colleagues initially like each other but they have to be professional then realise that something is there after a while.

That's true.

I know of two couples who met at work after initially talking at work parties/Christmas parties etc..wasn't until months/years later they got together.

joseywhales

S23 wrote: »

And 76.2% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

Would you go away with your ridiculous assertions about the vast majority of people needing to be under the influence to initiate a first kiss. Maybe you're a kid and in your world boys and girls aren't mature enough to be able to approach someone or initiate a kiss without being gargled but in the real world people have no such problems. Spouting fictitious statistics as some kind of basis for opinion injects nothing to this discussion.

And the professional thing most certainly does matter. As long as he does not harrass this girl he is perfectly entitled to ask her out (on his own time not his employers and outside the workplace) and what happens there is her choice. However if she does already have a boyfriend or says no because she doesn't know this lad from adam and finds it incredibly creepy getting hit on as soon as she walks in the door then the OP is potentially compromising his professional credibility around the office. He'll very quickly get a reputation for being a bit of a lech if he hits on every girl that comes to work there on day 1. Then alleged fact that we all have his back :rolleyes: out here in internet land won't be much comfort for the 40 hours a week he's in the office where everyone thinks hes a creepy little pervert becuase of the way he behaves.

Let's be brutally honest here this isn't anything to do with wanting to date the girl. He doesn't know her at all. It's a case of pure lust based on nothing but how she looks. I do agree that work relationships can work if they are based on something substantial but I would very much doubt that a lust based interaction with someone he doesn't know would end very well for either party.

Perhaps we work in different environments. I know plenty of successful guys in senior positions who have made passes at female colleagues and nobody really cares. I guess it depends on the OP's office, maybe check the lay of the land before you start coming on to your colleagues. Some people do care about this sort of thing and some people in offices enjoy stirring trouble for the sake of it, so they might try to blow something small out of proportion which is easy enough in confined spaces and a well oiled rumour mill.

John400

joseywhales wrote: »

Some people do care about this sort of thing and some people in offices enjoy stirring trouble for the sake of it, so they might try to blow something small out of proportion which is easy enough in confined spaces and a well oiled rumour mill.

I agree.

You see this is the danger (and it doesn't have to be a small company, rumour mills can start in any size company really) the OP pursuing this girl can open up a can of worms as regards other colleagues who suss it. Another poster made a very valid point earlier, the OP appearing everywhere this girl happens to be can give the impression to other colleagues (especially other females) that the OP is a leech/nutter.

I mean the OP just has to be professional while working.

I've a prime example, one of my best mates works in a large warehouse/company and he got on well with another female colleague at a previous work function, in fact he has a crush on this girl who would be a general manager.

He fancies her but he just has to be professional doing his job to the best of his ability in his designated area. She works in a different area but he would see her now and again, he is always polite to her and he has to leave it at that.

He knows that she's single but what can you do while working? You're risking other colleagues over-hearing/sussing out you like the girl which would obviously be a bit of a nightmare from a professional point of view.

There's probably a lot of people- male and female who like other colleagues but just have to be professional while in the work enviroment. Such is life.

James400

John400 wrote: »

I'm not advocating that the OP is banned from talking to this girl. Not at all. If he happens to genuinely meet her during the day then he can say hello, chat to her, be polite, of course he can...as has been pointed out if he starts to appear everywhere this girl happens to be in the workplace he is giving her the wrong impression because she will think he's a lunatic.

I agree with concept of two people who meet at work generally get together after a few months and in some cases years. It is a slow burner kind of thing because colleagues initially like each other but they have to be professional then realise that something is there after a while.

Nothing wrong with with talking to the girl during the day if he genuinely meets her during the day. Saying 'hi' etc.

Appearing around and about where she is during the day is bordering on weird!

Silverfish

OP has been sitebanned so I am closing this thread.