We have updated our Privacy Notice, you can read the updated document here
Mods please check the Moderators Group for an important update on Mod tools. If you do not have access to the group, please PM Niamh. Thanks!

'Different' wedding ceremony. Help!

  • #2
    Registered Users Posts: 71 ✭✭✭ fuddy1


    Planning to get married next year. It turns out having the 'right' ceremony is more important to me than I first thought. I no longer consider myself Catholic, OH is atheist, so catholic church is out. Attended civil ceremony in hotel recently and it was a bit.....:(well not special enough in my opinion. Have looked into spiritualist ceremonies, but its a No again from OH as they 'involve' dead relatives in wedding. Does anyone have any personal experience of Humanist weddings? I know they are not legal so we'd have to do registry office thing too. Doesnt help when trying to keep cost down. Am very interested in Unitarian Church in dublin, but am worried it would have too much religion for OH. Is it different if Unitarian minister travels to wedding? will drop into the church to get more info, but any info I got here first would be much appreciated. So in a nutshell does anyone have any personal experience with humanist weddings or weddings involving Unitarian church they could share?


Comments

  • #2


    We had a humanist ceremony and it was brilliant - exactly what we wanted (as you can do whatever you want) and it was my favourite part of the day! We did the registry office the day before, which initially seemed like an inconvenience, but in the end we really enjoyed having such an intimate special day with just immediate family and no 'razzamatazz'.

    Our humanist celebrant emailed us a couple of sample ceremonies, which we cobbled together our own from. Picked a couple of readings/poems we liked, picked the songs, and that was it!


  • #2


    We had a humanist ceremony last year - it was fantastic, I'm still soooo delighted we did it that way and not in a church (neither of us are religious, like yourselves!)

    We got 'officially' married the day before in the registry office (but in Waterford the registry office actually does civil weddings now in a local hotel - they do up the room and it was really nice) By the way they don't charge you anything over the €150 fee (that you would be paying anyway) so it won't really cost you anything extra to have a legal marriage and a ceremony on two different days! We just went with parents, brothers and sisters, and two of our friends as witnesses - then all went for lunch afterwards - it was a nice warm up for the 'main event'!!!

    Also the humanist ceremony the next day was great - we picked about four poems that people read for us, and we had a harpist who played Metallica among other things ;) We also did a handfasting ceremony at the end, which is a Celtic tradition that ties your hands together (tying the knot, geddit?) - but obviously it's totally up to you what you want to put in or leave out - pretty much anything goes!!

    Anyway here is a link to the Humanist Association of Ireland, if you are interested you can contact them and they will put you in touch with your nearest celebrant.

    http://www.humanism.ie/website/ceremonies/wedding-ceremonies

    All the best with it!!


  • #2


    thanx to both of you for your replies. All other planning has come to a complete halt because i dont know what to do about ceremony. Am in process of looking up hand fastening ceremony!! Its difficult cos OH is far too sensible and just says NO to anything 'airy fairy'. Think i'll just have to decide whats right for me and then try to get him happy about it. He wants it to be 'special' and 'about us' but seems to be saying No to most of my suggestions!!:(


  • #2


    We got married last year in a non religious- but traditional Irish, including a handfasting- ceremony by a Celtic monk named Dara Molloy.
    Now, I'm like yr husband to be and hate air fairy lovey dovey stuff and really liked daras simple and personal approach to our ceremony! It was a big hit with our families too! Here's his website- he's a real nice guy: http://www.daramolloy.com/


  • #2


    Thanx! looked up Dara, looks very nice. Think he's just too far away for our (kildare/dublin) wedding. Trying to keep cost down so dont know if i can afford fee and travel expenses too. Interesting website tho. We've had another conversation tonight and looks like unitarian church is out, OH says he doesnt want God in the ceremony at all. So now I have to decide between civil ceremony and humanist ceremony..(having done the legal stuff beforehand). I just want something special!!


  • #2


    fuddy1 wrote: »
    thanx to both of you for your replies. All other planning has come to a complete halt because i dont know what to do about ceremony. Am in process of looking up hand fastening ceremony!! Its difficult cos OH is far too sensible and just says NO to anything 'airy fairy'. Think i'll just have to decide whats right for me and then try to get him happy about it. He wants it to be 'special' and 'about us' but seems to be saying No to most of my suggestions!!:(

    I actually didn't even bring up the subject of a handfasting with my OH, I would've assumed he would have thought it was hippie-ish or airy-fairy, but it was in one of the sample ceremonies we were sent by the humanist celebrant and my OH thought it would be nice, which I was (pleasantly) surprised by!


  • #2


    Digging up this old thread but we thinking something similar to this. Doing the legal thing the week before with no one but ourselves and a symbolic ceremony for all our guests on the day of the "wedding" :)

    So its not legal, but more something for our family and friends to experience and something nice to kick off the day.

    Has anyone been to or seen one of these ceremonies, outdoors, so *not* in a church or in a hotel etc, but at a beautiful location in nearby public park or a wonderful location out and about [yes I know weather dependant etc [we do have a nearby backup venue in case of crappy weather - but I'm just wondering about the core idea].

    Also wondering if we could "flashmob it" almost, and show up and do it and then leave, or would we need permission from those who run/manage park?


  • #2


    Most places like parks where people go for wedding photos require permission for wedding photos so I'd imagine you'd have to get at least the same level of permission if you're hoping to hold a ceremony. A flash mob wouldn't necessarily work either - suppose you're moved/stopped by the park staff in the middle of it? It might be a better bet to focus on venues with nice grounds - plenty of them are well used to hosting ceremonies - and not have the hassle of relying on permission. I know someone who hoped to have a naming ceremony in a pagoda in a Dublin park but was refused permission. They might have been able to do it discretely without permission if they chanced their arm as it was only about ten people and no 'celebrant' so a wedding would be a different kettle of fish.


  • #2


    fuddy1 wrote: »
    thanx to both of you for your replies. All other planning has come to a complete halt because i dont know what to do about ceremony. Am in process of looking up hand fastening ceremony!! Its difficult cos OH is far too sensible and just says NO to anything 'airy fairy'. Think i'll just have to decide whats right for me and then try to get him happy about it. He wants it to be 'special' and 'about us' but seems to be saying No to most of my suggestions!!:(

    I got married last year and we did a hand fastening ceremony. Was great as we got to write our own ceremony. Made the whole thing very special to us.

    When my wife proposed the hand fastening ceremony initially I was completely against it as well. Seemed too Airy Fairy for me as well but in the end i loved it.

    It also got other people involved in the ceremony as they have to fasten the hands so it really made it great. If you'd like any info on the ceremony itself then feel free to PM me. I have quite a bit of the research done already.


  • #2


    We had our ceremony done by the Spiritualist Union. There was no mention of dead relatives or spirits. We customised our ceremony to be about what we wanted.
    I must admit it takes effort and dedication to make a ceremony part from the crowd. Ours did a little, but not that much. You can do so much more, but unfortunately neither one of us was imaginative enough... :rolleyes:
    My favourite part was the ring-warming ceremony. We wrote our own vows and "I do's" apart from the legal bit. We had it outside overlooking beautiful parklands of the hotel. It was perfect.... :)
    I know they're not cheap, but I would recommend the SU guys. I think the Humanists should be legal by the summer, so that's another option.
    Having separate legal part and wedding ceremony wasn't for us.


  • #2


    We got married in the Unitarian church, it could be as religious or as non Religious as we liked, we didn't have any hymns or religious readings during the ceremony.


  • #2


    OP, we are getting married in August and having a spiritual ceremony - non-denominational. We have been assured that the solemniser is able to do the legal part as well.


  • #2


    Note - this is a REALLY old thread from early 2011 which I dug up, so the original posters are long married I would think at this stage...


  • #2


    Note - this is a REALLY old thread from early 2011 which I dug up, so the original posters are long married I would think at this stage...

    Apologies, sleepyhead here, I could've sworn it said 2013 :P


  • #2


    Were getting married in September and we have booked Dara Molloy. Exactly the kind of thing we were looking for. Cant wait!


  • #2


    Digging up this old thread but we thinking something similar to this. Doing the legal thing the week before with no one but ourselves and a symbolic ceremony for all our guests on the day of the "wedding" :)

    So its not legal, but more something for our family and friends to experience and something nice to kick off the day.

    Has anyone been to or seen one of these ceremonies, outdoors, so *not* in a church or in a hotel etc, but at a beautiful location in nearby public park or a wonderful location out and about [yes I know weather dependant etc [we do have a nearby backup venue in case of crappy weather - but I'm just wondering about the core idea].

    Also wondering if we could "flashmob it" almost, and show up and do it and then leave, or would we need permission from those who run/manage park?

    Hi, had a flashmob style wedding on a beach in Dublin last year. Got friends to set up the chairs, singer & musician before the guests arrived, kept the ceremony short (legal bit already done week before). Afterwards the guests walked back to reception and the chairs were loaded up again & taken back to the venue. To us & our guests this was our real wedding day, I'm a big fan of weddings in unusual places...sure why not!


Society & Culture