Can I be charged with staturatory rape?

LegacyUser

I'm fifteen, my girlfriend of a year is fourteen, we had sex and her dad found out.

What are the consequences if he deems it prudent to proceed with legal action?

seamus

Yes you can be charged with statutory rape.

However given your age and the fact that you're not a legal adult, it would be extremely unlikely for her father to bring any kind of action against you.

The consequences I'm not sure about. As you're under 16, I don't know if the typical laws will apply to you. If convicted of statutory rape, as a young man who presumably has no other offences, you will likely receive a small suspended sentence. Also, because you are less than two years older than your girlfriend, your name doesn't go on the sex offenders register.

In any case, any kind of court case or conviction is ridiculously unlikely, don't get too worked up about it. If it does happen, then the first thing you will do, along with your parents, is go to a solicitor.

Your girlfriend's Dad would rather have you sweat and **** yourself for a couple of weeks, than go to court to prosecute you for a consensual natural act between two teenagers.

up for anything

Like Seamus I would imagine your girlfriend's father is trying to teach you a lesson. I doubt that he will want his day in court because of the effect that would have on his daughter.

I'm going to sound like an old fuddy duddy here but for your own sake take up a sport or hobby and keep sex on the back burner until you are bit older. Although you probably think you are mature and a man, how would you propose to provide for and raise a child if she got pregnant and no contraception is 100%!

I know someone whose 16 year old boy was having a sexual relationship with a 17 year old girl. His mother and father didn't appreciate the Gardaí calling to their house at 6am, on the word of girl's mother that her daughter was a victim of statutory rape, and interrogating the family in their own sitting room. They demanded her son's mobile phone to check through it and told her to "be quiet" when she tried to tell them that if anything the statutory rape charge went the other way. She eventually got a half-hearted apology several days later. Would your parents be at ease with that happening?

Morag

At 15 and 14 I would hate to think what would happen if you both ended up in a crises pregnancy situation. Esp if she went on to have the baby, at 14 she could end up doing a lot of damage to her body trying give birth.

Yes her Dad can choose to press charges and after that it's up to the dept of public prosecutions to take a case or not depending on statements. Even if it never gets to court it can cause considerable upset.

I suggest you talk to your parents about it asap.

Permabear

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Taltos

Permabear wrote: »

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+1 to this.
OP - talk to your folks asap.
Her father may be trying to scare you - but he might well be serious - yes there would be terrible consequences to his family - however - he may view this as the ultimate chastity belt - you mess with my daughter and you will be arrested...

Just because many will not press charges does not mean he will not...

Peanut2011

seamus wrote: »

Your girlfriend's Dad would rather have you sweat and **** yourself for a couple of weeks, than go to court to prosecute you for a consensual natural act between two teenagers.

Seamus, i believe this part of your reply is completely inappropriate and it seems to be encouraging under age sex. :mad:

OP, yes you should be worried as you know what the two of you have done is not appropriate. You should have thought of the consequences of your actions beforehand. You should not only be concerned with the legal side but what is your girlfriend got pregnant?

IMO this is way to early to start all this. What ever happened to playing sports and enjoying your teenage years?

One minute of your "pleasure" can cost both of you and your families lifetime of problems and trouble. I can tell you for sure if that was my daughter I would be pursuing the legal side to the full extent, not just to teach you a lesson but to show an example of the two of you to any of your friends who might think it is OK to go for it.

Before anyone starts that I'm only picking on you, I'm not. It takes two to tango and she is as much guilty as you are although legally she is not. Again if that was my daughter she would be "locked up" just as long as you would. The difference is, she would not have TV privilege's.

solovely

Peanut2011 wrote: »

Seamus, i believe this part of your reply is completely inappropriate and it seems to be encouraging under age sex. :mad:

OP, yes you should be worried as you know what the two of you have done is not appropriate. You should have thought of the consequences of your actions beforehand. You should not only be concerned with the legal side but what is your girlfriend got pregnant?

IMO this is way to early to start all this. What ever happened to playing sports and enjoying your teenage years?

One minute of your "pleasure" can cost both of you and your families lifetime of problems and trouble. I can tell you for sure if that was my daughter I would be pursuing the legal side to the full extent, not just to teach you a lesson but to show an example of the two of you to any of your friends who might think it is OK to go for it.

Before anyone starts that I'm only picking on you, I'm not. It takes two to tango and she is as much guilty as you are although legally she is not. Again if that was my daughter she would be "locked up" just as long as you would. The difference is, she would not have TV privilege's.

I thought posters here were to give advice and support, not judge and moralise? Where are the mods on this one?

OP, it sounds like you have got yourself into a very tricky situation. Like Seamus said, for the Dad to go the guards would cause a lot more pain and trouble than it's worth. He probably is trying to teach you a lesson.

if you can't talk to your own parents, is there a guidance counsellor or a teacher in school you can talk to about this?

As you and your girlfriend have been engaging in a very grown up act, I think it's probably time to have a very grown up conversation with her parents. It'll be tough and maybe even embarrassing, and might mean you will have to lay off having sex for a while. But explain to them how much you respect their daughter, how responsible you were being (I presume and hope you were!!) and that you now realise maybe you should have waited another while...

Peanut2011

solovely wrote: »

I thought posters here were to give advice and support, not judge and moralise? Where are the mods on this one?

If you have not seen what I wrote than here it is:

OP, yes you should be worried as you know what the two of you have done is not appropriate.

seamus

Peanut2011 wrote: »

Seamus, i believe this part of your reply is completely inappropriate and it seems to be encouraging under age sex. :mad:

Debate for another time in the main, but my point is that the vast majority of people know that whether underage sex is right or wrong, it's an act borne out of natural urges on the part of both teenagers and particularly where they're so similar in age it's usually clear that neither party has been forced or coerced into it.

As such, only the most unreasonable tyrant would seek to have the boy convicted for it. The girlfriend's father could be such a man, but it's unlikely that he is.

LegacyUser

Op,i dont know if the guards/dpp would take this further,looking at young parents im sure the prisons would be full if we took the law seriously like the usa,given your young age i dont think much would come out of it,also worth note-

If the worst comes,this is what the law says on this-

The consent of the Director of Public Prosecutions is required for any prosecution of a child under the age of 17 years for this offence. A person who is convicted of this offence and is not more than two years older than the victim is not subject to the requirements of the Sex Offenders Act 2001. This means they will not have their name placed on the Sex Offenders Register.

Permabear

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ted1

. Esp if she went on to have the baby, at 14 she could end up doing a lot of damage to her body trying give birth.

TBH thats a load of nonsense. the female body is deigned to give birth in the teens as oppose to thirties like most peopl are having now a days, btu thats a differrent matter.

OP, nothing will happen to you. although if she were my daughter You may have got a box.

Make sure you take all precautions. If I were you i'd avoid her house for a while.

krd

Ok...I would like to start by saying, as a teenager I did something similarly as stupid. But it's Okay-ish. You are child - children do stupid things.

So, I am qualified to give you some preliminary legal advice.

First piece of advice. SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND DO NOT SPEAK TO ANYONE ABOUT IT. And for at least the next 10 to 15 years, never mention it to another living soul.

1. You are technically a minor. So, it is unlikely you could get prosecuted.

2. There's a generally accepted rule - if there is less than a two year age gap between minors, nothing happens in terms of the law. It could be a very different situation if one was 12 and another 17 - then you could be talking serious trouble.

3. Apart from the legal situation. The situation could open up a serious world of pain for you, for your parents, for the girls parents.

Speak to no one about it. ABSOLUTELY NO ONE. If the scuzzy newspapers heard about it, they would have a field day crucifying you and your family.

Welcome to the adult world, not because you've managed to get rid of your virginity at an early age - but that you've learned from this experience that silly things and stupidity can get you and other people in serious trouble.

Johnny Favourite

krd wrote: »

Ok...I would like to start by saying, as a teenager I did something similarly as stupid. But it's Okay-ish. You are child - children do stupid things.

So, I am qualified to give you some preliminary legal advice.

First piece of advice. SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND DO NOT SPEAK TO ANYONE ABOUT IT. And for at least the next 10 to 15 years, never mention it to another living soul.

1. You are technically a minor. So, it is unlikely you could get prosecuted.

2. There's a generally accepted rule - if there is less than a two year age gap between minors, nothing happens in terms of the law. It could be a very different situation if one was 12 and another 17 - then you could be talking serious trouble.

3. Apart from the legal situation. The situation could open up a serious world of pain for you, for your parents, for the girls parents.

Speak to no one about it. ABSOLUTELY NO ONE. If the scuzzy newspapers heard about it, they would have a field day crucifying you and your family.

Welcome to the adult world, not because you've managed to get rid of your virginity at an early age - but that you've learned from this experience that silly things and stupidity can get you and other people in serious trouble.

Ignore the above for starters.

I did the same at your age and was found out. A lot of unhappy parents but the whole thing died down after a while.

If her old man is going to kick up a fuss you have to get your parents involved to fight your conner. You are to young to deal with any legal implication on your own and even if the law did get involved your parents would find out anyway.

Be careful young man and try to think long and hard about the consequences if she did get pregnant.

The gene may be out of the bottle now but if you want to act like a man then you need to take responsibility like a man.

Best of luck!!!

Chessala

I may be touching dangerous ground here but have you ever considered that you are jumping the gun?
I know the age of consent in Ireland is 17 but I am more than sure that the actual age in which people have their first sexual intercourse is somewhere between 14-16.

I am not saying that what they did is right but there is no reason to tell him that what happened is a horrible thing.

You can call me lax but I grew up in a country where the age of consent is 14 so maybe I have a bit more open view on that point. It's not like she is 14 and he is an adult already. teenagers explore each other and, I assume here, that their school did teach them about protection and they used it.
Sure, no protection is 100% but that does not mean she is about to be pregnant.

I don't have children (I am only 26 myself and before you ask, I didn't do anything until I was past 20) but making the guy feel guilty for something natural is wrong in my imo either.

The girl's father sounds like someone that doesn't want to admit that his daughter is growing up and it is more than unfair that he would be the one to suffer the legal consequences. Unfortunately, if her father goes that way there is a huge chance he will try and force his daughter to say she didn't agree.

I am not taking the topic of underage sex lightly but they have been a couple for a year, did her father really think his little sunshine wouldn't do anything like that? Girls grow up too and, unfortunately, especially fathers often don't want to accept that. The number of teenage mothers has increased, I am aware of that, but to assume that they were having sex because of a lack of sports? Sorry, it doesn't seem reasonable.

Please note: I am not encouraging what they did, I personally think that having sex should be well thought through and it is always better to wait a bit longer instead of getting pushed into it. But it happened and my argumentation is based on both giving their consent and using contraception.

Neyite

Chessala wrote: »

Unfortunately, if her father goes that way there is a huge chance he will try and force his daughter to say she didn't agree..

This is irrelevant in the eyes of the law. She can say what she wants - she is under the legal age of consent so therefore under law cannot give it.

As the law in this country stands, the OP broke the law, and she did not. Unfair, but thats the rules.

up for anything

Chessala wrote: »

Unfortunately, if her father goes that way there is a huge chance he will try and force his daughter to say she didn't agree.

I am not taking the topic of underage sex lightly but they have been a couple for a year, did her father really think his little sunshine wouldn't do anything like that? Girls grow up too and, unfortunately, especially fathers often don't want to accept that. The number of teenage mothers has increased, I am aware of that, but to assume that they were having sex because of a lack of sports? Sorry, it doesn't seem reasonable.

I'm not sure how you can say there is a huge chance that her father will try and force her to say she didn't agree! There is no basis for that assumption.

I'm not saying that they had sex because of a lack of sports but that he might be better off putting his physical and mental energy into something else other than sexual relationships until he is mature enough, not for the sex, but for the results of having sex.. be it an unexpected/unwanted pregnancy or having to face a court case and where he isn't involving the other people in his life whether they want to be involved or not. With maturity comes consideration for other people and accepting the possible consequences of actions taken.

Chessala

Neyite wrote: »

This is irrelevant in the eyes of the law. She can say what she wants - she is under the legal age of consent so therefore under law cannot give it.

As the law in this country stands, the OP broke the law, and she did not. Unfair, but thats the rules.

The problem here is exactly that though. I find that law not only unfair but ridiculous. Why would the guy have a worse case here than she has? They are both under the age of consent. Therefore the only reason the girl's father can go with staturatory rape is is the fact that, for whatever reason, the actions of the girl are completely irrelevant.

up for anything wrote: »

I'm not sure how you can say there is a huge chance that her father will try and force her to say she didn't agree! There is no basis for that assumption.

There isn't a basis but you can't say it won't happen either. The fact alone that he would threaten the boy, be it only as a warning for for real, is the fact that he wants to protect his "baby girl". Of course he has the right to do so but I am talking from experience.

krd

The real problem is other authorities getting involved.

This kind of thing happens all the time.

Occasionally someone gets crucified.

I'm still very angry about what happened to me when I was a teenager.

I know what you've gone and done is wrong. At the same time going to town on you - could cast a heavy shadow over your life. If you were both a handful of years older it would be no one's business.

In my case I could have faced jail. The girl lied to me about her age - I even thought she was older than me.

But what happened - really effected our early adult life and our relationshps with our parents.

Permabear

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HugoDrax

Hi OP,

When I was 15 I was caught red handed having sex with a girl from my years in my secondary school toilets - we had been staring at each other for ages, we got talking, we went to town park to kiss like other kids and after a few months she decided that we should have sex. I was to scared to ask her so it was all her idea. She slipped out first from a science class on the day asking if she could go to the toilet and I waited a minute later to ask if I could go and we had sex in a toilet cubicle. Unfortunately the caretaker caught us in the act because he came into the toilets to change a light bulb.

We were marched down to the principal's office and our parents were called.
Her father went ballistic - he was very religious and he couldn't believe this could happen to his innocent daughter etc etc etc and he was ready to deck the principal and my father before they got him to calm down.

My father backed me up in front of her father and told him in no uncertain terms what would happen if he did anything against me and that made him back off.
When we got home it was different story and he told me what he thought of me.
My mother was bawling crying over it.

Now all the guys at school thought I was a legend and everybody wanted to be my friend including guys who used to be me up and a lot of the girls who wouldn't have talked to me were suddenly very very interested but that's another story.

I was told to stay away from the girl but I didn't because we were reading Romeo and Juliet at the time and we kind of saw ourselves as star crossed lovers. We continued to see each and we had sex again several times though we had to go to a lot of trouble to not get caught again. I used condoms and I followed the instructions on the pack because my parents had told be all about sex when I was twelve or thirteen and they even got me a book about it so I did know what I was doing.

Looking back, I know I was WAY too young to have sex at 15. I should have waited until I was older and able to deal with lots of stuff. And you should too because there is no way you can be ready to have sex at 15 - physically yes, but mentally no way.

I think the girl's father is playing games with you just like the father of the girl I had sex with.

If he does press charges and make trouble for you, he is a fool.
It's nuts that society would criminalize kids who don't know any better although they shouldn't be having sex before they are old enough.