Isolated in a foreign country

LegacyUser

So the story is i'm on work experience in a different country with 5 other girls. They are quite possibly the bitchiest group of people I've ever had the misfortune of having to spend time with. They are constantly bitching about someone else when they arent around and often making faces behind peoples backs to display their annoyance at them to the others. The thing is I'm quite an easygoing person who gets on well with other people but these girls have me stumped, they're just very hard to deal with. Yesterday I had stomach pains (I often suffer with stomach pains due to an underlying condition) and told one of the other girls that I wouldnt be going into work. She turned around with a look of utter contempt on her face and said 'Well we're all sick'! (No one seemed sick to me, I thought it was an odd comment to make.) This made me feel so bad that I cried for most of that day.

The problem lies with the fact that these girls are one of the only english speakers where i am and they are my only form of social interaction and friendship. I have to rely on them for the next three months for companionship. This has made me bite my tongue and accept this kind of behaviour from them when under normal circumstances ie. at home, I'd have stood up for myself, found a different group of friends and forgotten about them.

As for the incident this morning if I retaliate or fall out with that girl the other girls will take her side because they are closer with her than me. I really can't risk the prospect of being isolated and bitched about for the next three months and this makes me feel like I have no control over anything. Going home is not an option. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

LegacyUser

Under normal circumstances I wouldnt be able to hold my tongue either but these are the only people I have for the next three months. Retaliation would just cause tension and drama and no one would side with me.

There are some locals we hang around with but the other girls all hang around with them too. We all do things together as a group and it would be unsafe to attempt to meet people on my own.

donal_cam

What's your grasp of the local lingo like? If it's anyway reasonable, I'd enquire about things that interest you, and get involved in groups that do that- it will improve your language skills, and get you out of the house and away from those girls. I was in a similar situation myself a couple of years back, and this is what I did, it worked well for me. All the best anyway, and I hope it works out for you, isolation is tough.

MissFlitworth

upsetandisolated wrote: »

Retaliation would just cause tension and drama and no one would side with me.

It sounds like there's already tension & drama and no one siding with you though OP, at least if you stick up for yourself you won't be heaping feeling like a doormat on top of that.

upsetandisolated wrote: »

SShe turned around with a look of utter contempt on her face and said 'Well we're all sick'! (No one seemed sick to me, I thought it was an odd comment to make.) This made me feel so bad that I cried for most of that day.

Why would you cry for most of a day over a stupid comment like that? Easier said than done I know you're going to have to grow a pair of balls & not let that sort of thing get to you. If they aren't your friends try not to let anything nasty they say get to you, why should you care what their opinons are. You don't have to be aggressive or anything like that but theres nothing wrong with asking someone what they mean. 'Sorry, I don't get you, are you sick as well? Really? What's wrong with you? Want me to call the dr?'

What's the story with it being too unsafe for you to make friends by yourself? Would there be an expat society (or Irish pub) around that you could go to/get in contact with? I may be being innocent here but I honestly can't concieve of anywhere that someone might be sent to for work experience that you could socialise with a group of locals but would at the same time be dangerous for you to try and make new friends, or find new short term flatmates.

On a final note, sometimes when you're with a group of people and every single one of them seems to dislike you or be annoyed with you it's worth sitting one or 2 of them down and asking if you've done anything to p1ss that person off. I'm not saying they aren't just a nasty pack of b1tches but when you're the only one in the group not getting on and they're not 15 years old you have to wonder if maybe you've done something inadvertantly that's annoying people

cafecolour

When you say it would be unsafe to meet locals without them - do you mean literally unsafe (you may end up injured) or you mean it might cause drama?

Are you sure you're the only English speakers nearby? Have you check things like www.hospitalityclub.org or couchsurfing.org?

If all else fails, I'd disengage from them a bit. Not in an unfriendly way, but read more, stuff like that. So you might be able to tolerate them more when you do deal with them.