Needing advice on a weight/girl problem

LegacyUser

I'll keep this brief. I have met the most amazing, beautiful, intelligent girl i have ever had the privilege of knowing. I have fallen in love with her and she has fallen in love with me. However I am seriously obese and she doesn't know this. She has fallen for the PERSON i am and not anything to do with my physical looks, she has no idea what i look like from the shoulders down. Since February i have been trying my best to lose as much weight as possible before I eventually meet up with her. She lives in the U.S. and is expecting me to come and visit her in June. I have repeatedly told her that I may not make it in June and that i need "time" to get my life in order here before i leave. She is under the assumption that i am talking about financial issues (bills, apartment lease etc.) and doesnt know the real truth that i am just trying my best to be perfect for her.

I am not obese simply because of sheer laziness and over eating, I have had serious issues that impacted my life in my teens that were beyond my control that resulted in me having a very lonely, insulated life for the last 10 years. That coupled with an unnaturally low metabolism and a general unhealthy life style has caused me to be the way I am now. Thats not important.

What is important is that i have 2ish months to get my self as healthy as possible, I have drastically changed my life for this girl in ways that i have never done before. However being realistic about it I know i wont have lost enough weight by the time she will be expecting me to come over there. She assures me that she is not shallow and i have mentioned in passing that I am very insecure about what i look like and that im worried i wont live up to her expectations and she has told me that she doesnt care. However i know that she will not want to look at me when i step off that plane.

So, should i just stop living in denial and just tell her everything at the risk of her never wanting to speak to me again or at the risk of breaking her heart? Or should i just do everything i can do to get myself right and try to delay going to see her as late as possible?
Her expectations of me are HUGE, not just hers but her families and friends too. And I AM the PERSON she has fallen for, just physically speaking... i am WAY out of her league.

Any thoughts are appreciated.

andreac

Im confused, how does she not know your size if you have already met?

andreac

sunflower27 wrote: »

They haven't met. His partner lives in the US.

OP, am presuming she has seen a photo. She must have some idea you are overweight.

Well he said in his OP that they have met so thats why i was asking...

If the girl has seen pictures then she must have some idea you are over weight and if not why not send on a few recent pics maybe?

LegacyUser

andreac wrote: »

Im confused, how does she not know your size if you have already met?

online relationship most likely. Would you exchange pictures beforehand?

Funky Kingston

Hi OP.

Firstly , I'm sorry you're battling with body issues .

Secondly , it sounds like this girl loves you a lot , that is something that not many people are lucky enough to have . IMO you need to tell her about your weight etc , it's really only fair to be fully honest with her , have you Skyped with her? like the above poster said she surely must have some idea you are overweight . It's a real compliment that you want to be the best you can for her both physically and mentally but not telling her things because it's easy to hide for now may affect your relationship..... talk to her , it will take a load off your mind .

LegacyUser

I probably should have made a few things more clear in my original post but i didnt want it to be a crazy long wall of text. She has seen my face and im guessing she has an idea that i am overweight but I'm not sure, its very hard to tell this about someone when all you can see of them is from the shoulders up. She told me that she will wait for me for as long as it takes. But i care about this girl so much and I just want to see her happy. She tells me that I have already made her the happiest she has been her entire life and she is willing to wait for me. But i cant help but feel that she could be happy with someone else without having to wait for me to come over there. If i go through with telling her about this i can foresee 2 scenarios that would occur.

1. She would be disappointed that I didnt tell her earlier, upset that I would keep something like this from her but ultimately sympathetic to my situation. She is such an understanding person and aside from the mutual romantic feelings we share she considers me to be her best friend and I her. But she would ultimately come to the realization that waiting for me to get myself right will just take too much time, considering that she wont want to spend the summer alone and will be going back to college in September. She would keep a brave face so as not to upset me but inside she will be distraught.

2. She will be taken a back by what I tell her and not be able to handle it. She might not talk to me for awhile and will be very upset. There would be a chance that i might never see her again such would be the setback as she had a very traumatic relationship that ended this time last year and it would bring all that negativity back for her.

Either way I dont come out of it in a good position but honestly? She deserves better, back when we told each other that we had romantic feelings for one another (I knew her for many months before this) I thought i would be able to get my life sorted out by now. And I have everything sorted apart from my weight. I dont care about my own feelings in this, she is the most important thing in the world to me and I just want to find a way for her to have the facility to go on and have a wonderful happy life with or without me. I dont want to pressure her in anyway and i dont want to make her feel guilty about anything in her mind that might change about me by me telling her about my physical condition.

However she is my chance for true happiness, i KNOW this. And she believes the same about me. I just wish i was honest about it a long time ago instead of starting to worry about it now. But I'm a romantic fool and I let my feelings get the better of me without focusing on the inevitable problems that were going to come down the road.

Love hurts sometimes.

common sense brigade

it wouldnt bother me if my husband was 12 stone or 20. he would be just as attractive to me. if this woman loves you then your weight will not matter. love is how you treat someone and not just words you say. own up now about your weight as her only real issue with you will probably be the fact you lied about it.

Miss Fluff

How much weight do you have to lose?

You need to tell her the truth. Tell her that you have some weight on which is making you uncomfortable/insecure and can you agree to meet in July/August? This will then give you approximately 4 months to seriously take this matter in hand once and for all. You will make serious inroads in that time if you're determined enough.

Are you in Dublin? If so I'd go and make an appointment with your local Educogym this evening and start putting some seriously hard work in. It will be worth it.

If you don't tell her the truth then you're not actually facing up to it and will continue to pile on more and more weight and make yourself more and more unhappy. Surely if your weight is acting as an impediment to actually meeting someone who you think could potentially be the love of your life than you need to address it asap rather than trying to think up excuses as to why you should delay the trip?

zxcvbnm1

How come no one has mentioned the obvious yet?

OP - you haven't met this person ever. She lives in another continent. You are not in love with her.

Also - how can this relationship possiblky work? Are you going to live in USA?

And believe me - you can be very sure that her family and friends expectations are not huge. If someone told me about some online thing they had going I would barely give it a 2nd thought.

Aside from all that though - if the weight thing is an issue then she is going to find out when she meets you.
In which case you may as well let her know in advance.

LegacyUser

zxcvbnm1 wrote: »

How come no one has mentioned the obvious yet?

OP - you haven't met this person ever. She lives in another continent. You are not in love with her.

Also - how can this relationship possiblky work? Are you going to live in USA?

And believe me - you can be very sure that her family and friends expectations are not huge. If someone told me about some online thing they had going I would barely give it a 2nd thought.

Aside from all that though - if the weight thing is an issue then she is going to find out when she meets you.
In which case you may as well let her know in advance.

I was always going to go to america for 3 months this summer regardless of whether i met her or not. That was always on the cards. And i understand that you could never really "love" someone without meeting them so perhaps my use of that word was rather inappropriate.

And yes, her parents have HUGE expectations about me. I wish i could explain this further but I cant, you are just going to have to take my word on it, or not. Makes no difference to me.

Knasher

zxcvbnm1 wrote: »

How come no one has mentioned the obvious yet?

Apparently 1 in 5 long term relationships start online now a days. And while I'd agree that a long distance relationship can only progress so far, meeting online is as good a place to start as any. (and much better than a pub or club tbh)

OP, if there is a good chance that you won't have gotten to your preferred weight by the time ye meet then you really should let her know as soon as possible about your issue. The 3 benefits are 1) if its a major hangup for her at least you will know before you get over there. 2) There is a good chance she will appreciate the effort you are putting in for her, especially if the results are physically noticeable. 3) If her major hangup is that you weren't forthright with it, she will have time to forgive you rather than landing it right on top of her and then spoiling the whole trip.

MiniSquish

Depending on how much weight you have to lose, you could easily have lost a considerable amount of it by the time you meet her. Even if you're still not at the desired weight you would still be much happier and more confident. I think that maybe you should just tell her. If she likes you as much as she says she does and you are her best friend then she would be pretty hypocritical refusing to see you because of that. I myself am over weight too and am in a Weight Loss program at the moment to lose it. I'll be at my desired weight at the end of the Summer but I know that if I had to meet someone even at the beginning, any weight loss would make me that much more confident. Just get out walking, try and go for two a day if you really want to lose weight quickly and try and eat more healthily. Are you a member of a gym? If she has seen your face and still talks to you then she obviously finds you attractive and she likes your personality too. Maybe she will overlook the fact that you are not the perfect weight (in your eyes) for her. Don't stress yourself out too much about it though OP.

sporina

you should come out with this to her. Like maybe come up with a reason to send me a few pics, of the whole you. You need to know how she would feel about you before you meet her. The reason I say this is because loosing the weight might not happen. There is a lot to change here. It is more than just diet and physical activity. We are talking about your whole life style and that will not be easy.
No matter what anyone says, physical attraction is important for most people, to a certain degree.
Just lay your cards on the table - it will be easier for you both in the long run. This will niggle at your for ever, and you are deceiving her but telling her you will be over but really you do not know when you will, or really, if ever. As if you are waiting for your weight to go down, you could be waiting for a long time.
Well thats my two pence worth..

beks101

I'm a bit confused. How honest have you been with her about your weight?

It's great that you're working hard to lose the weight, but physical attraction is a big part of the whole package, it's sort of what differentiates a friendship from a relationship and carrying a lot of extra weight is a deal breaker, romantically, for a lot of people. It's not fair to keep this girl in the dark about it completely and telling her that you're 'insecure' about your appearance does not equate to being straight with her. I can think of a handful of guys that I connect with on an emotional level, that I wouldn't have any romantic interest in because the attraction just isn't there, so to think that just having this emotional connection and that just you 'as a person' is enough is to bury your head in the sand. That's just the nature of romantic love.

Tell her you're overweight, but working hard to lose it and your feelings for her have really inspired you in that regard...but you have to tell her nonetheless.

Secondly, it's virtually impossible to healthily reduce from serious obesity to a normal weight in two months. There are no quick fixes that can change what essentially are long-term lifestyle habits and a long-term problem for you. On top of that, what if you lose five stone, meet this girl and it doesn't work out? The chemistry isn't there or the online connection doesn't translate in real life, which is a distinct possibility. Will you be able to keep the weight off and maintain a healthy lifestyle without her as your motivation? It's seriously worrying to hear you say 'I don't care about my feelings'...if things don't work out this could be a recipe for disaster for you health-wise. It's great to have someone who makes you want to better yourself, but you need to get healthy for the right reasons - you need to do it for yourself, for your own well-being and not because you want the approval of someone you have feelings for.

I don't know the nature of your weight problem, but if emotional eating or psychological problems are in any way involved, (and they very often are when someone is overweight/obese), setting this goal to revolve entirely around your meeting with this girl is a bad idea. You need to get your head straight and your priorities right first.

miec

Hi Op

I have to agree with the previous poster in that

if emotional eating or psychological problems are in any way involved, (and they very often are when someone is overweight/obese), setting this goal to revolve entirely around your meeting with this girl is a bad idea. You need to get your head straight and your priorities right first.

This is very true. Like you I have been an emotional eater, it still flares up from time to time but I eat when stressed (occasionally I can lose weight due to extreme stress but mainly I gain it). You should lose weight for yourself because you feel you are important enough, rather than do it for someone else, that is the first piece of advice I would give you.

The second is the whole online falling in love setting up expectation thing. I have also 'fallen in love online', although looking back I know I wasn't, I couldn't have, there is a whole different feel when you meet someone face to face but let us say I am wrong on this, if you care or are in love with this girl you have set off on a bad footing, you have hidden a fundamental aspect of yourself. You have a weight issue and you comfort eat. When I met my ex he was a non drinker and I sensed he had issues with drink, I was quite a heavy drinker at the time and I hid it from him, it was a constant pressure hiding this (I drank out of stress, yep swapped the choccies for the wine, now I have swapped the wine back for the choccies - but for me and not for anyone else) eventually he found out and was deeply hurt because I hid this aspect of myself, and I regret doing it, overall I am an honest person but I only wanted him to know my good side and not the other side of me, but I was letting myself down by hiding an aspect of myself.

Finally I noticed in your post you do an awful lot of thinking on behalf of this girl, in reality you can't do that because you cannot know how she will react until an event happens, you can guess, assume etc but you could (sounds like to me you have) tied yourself up in knots. The only thing anyone of us can is to aim to be as truthful as possible both with ourselves and with others. I wish you the very best of luck Op, I genuinely hope it works out.

Mighty_Mouse

I am not obese simply because of sheer laziness and over eating, I have had serious issues that impacted my life in my teens that were beyond my control that resulted in me having a very lonely, insulated life for the last 10 years. That coupled with an unnaturally low metabolism and a general unhealthy life style has caused me to be the way I am now. Thats not important.

As someone who changed lifestyle gradually & radically I can only stress how important your mindset is.
You can improve every aspect of your life by gradual improvement at the margins.
You will not wake up tomorrow and beging a perfect lifestyle that changes your weight forever.
Unhealthy living is lifestyle. Lifestyle is routine, habit. You can change your lifestype by changing your habits. Bad habits take time to break, new habits take time to form.

You can wake up tomorrow and walk a little further than you did today, eat a little less than you did today, become slightly more educated in how to be healthy, learn 1 new recipe, buy a healthy eating book, learn one aspect of nutrition, pick 1 activities to aim for ie. 5 km walk in June................train slow, gradually for it.
Try every day just a little harder than you did the day before,
Fall off the horse, get back on, the next time you fall, get back on quicker............slowly gradually, positively, build towards realistic goals, keep a more positive mindset, support your lifestyle with positive influences, read up on healty living, nuture the soul, spend less time on internet, tv, allow the mind time to think and relax...........................you can be anybody, do anything you want to be in this life by slow gradual positive progression with realistic goals and ambitions.

Chessala

anyadvicewouldbehandy wrote: »

So, should i just stop living in denial and just tell her everything at the risk of her never wanting to speak to me again or at the risk of breaking her heart? Or should i just do everything i can do to get myself right and try to delay going to see her as late as possible?
Her expectations of me are HUGE, not just hers but her families and friends too. And I AM the PERSON she has fallen for, just physically speaking... i am WAY out of her league.

Any thoughts are appreciated.

No matter what the outcome would be, it is best if you mention your weight issues to her now. If she really is in love with the person as you say she will accept it. I am talking from experience here. Of course these things can never be predicted but if she is the person you think she is, than your weight will not scare her away. If anything it will make her happy that you have trust in her.
I really doubt she has no idea that you are overweight as it will show on your face/neck as well. Not to bash here but especially in the US there are so many overweight people that I am sure she has an idea.

Also, try to put yourself into her shoes. Wouldn't you want her to tell you if the problems were reversed? I mean, if you keep postponing your visit because of it she will get upset as she wants to meet you.

Another thing to consider is that, since you say you are seriously overweight, losing weight rapidly will not automatically make you more attractive. Think of your stretched skin. If you lose weight rapidly it will hang down and you will have to conter that slowly with exercise....losing weight is not just a matter of getting the kgs down, it affects your whole body. I am pretty much overweight myself and was at the point that I weighted 130+kg (please don't ask for stones, never could work with that). This was due to problems with my thyroid ever since I was a child. Unfortunately back then it had been diagnosed too late and afterwords was treated with the wrong medication. In the last 4 years I have been steadily losing weight and I can proudly say I lost around 40kg by now. Still my skin troubles me and it is a tough fight.

Also, let me drift to two stories in my life that are connected to yours I believe.

I am 26 years old now. 5-6 years ago I had my first boyfriend, a guy from the US that I met online. A few months after we started "dating" I arranged to meet him for a week. Things went well at that time though the meeting left some aftertaste for several reasons. He was a bit overweight as well and neither of us had made a secret of our problems. The problem here is that (from my side) the "spark" was just not there, not for physical appearance though. From his side it was that I didn't want to do certain things that he somewhat expected since we had gone out for whole 4 months already (things I didn't want to do not only because of missing attraction but also for legal reasons as he was 17 and I was 21!)
Well, we broke up a few months later and it was the right thing to to. He then "admitted" to me that his family and friends didn't take my weight very well.

Fast forward to a year or so later. A friend I knew for over a year in an MMO (funnily the same MMO I met the guy back then and that I still play today) confessed to me and this time I took my time thinking about how I feel and when I was sure I felt the same we started "dating". That friend always knew my weight troubles and accepted me with them. There is no problems with physical attraction either as we love each other and I am just attractive to that person the way I am. This relationship, however, has been a big help for me to lose weight (as I always wanted to anyway) and alone the fact that I know that I am being accepted either way is a big support and makes things easier. After having dated online for 1 year we moved in together and recently had our 4 years anniversary.

Well, what I am trying to say is, a relationship can end good or bad either and it is not just dependent on your physical looks. But I think being honest with her will improve your chances for a working relationship. Don't make it a secret but let her support you. It is easier to lose weight with a clear head and a loving support by your side.

I wish you the best of luck and feel free to PM if you need to talk.

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

LegacyUser

I cant say how much I appreciate what everyone has been saying here. Im not unrealistic about the whole thing, i know i have to lose weight the PROPER way. I actually dramatically changed my lifestyle back in February when me and this girl first admitted that we had feelings for one another. Before that I was sleeping over 10 hours a night, my only meal every day was too much fast food of some kind and I got next to no exercise. Since then I have been sleeping a healthy 7 hours average a night, I have a balanced diet of fruit, vegetables, whole wheat breads and I have TOTALLY cut out all fast food altogether and also completely cut carbonated drinks out of my diet too. I exercise for at least an hour a day and push myself as hard as i can and I am already starting to feel results. But the size I am is going to lead to a lot of loose skin and there is no avoiding it. I will be far from my ideal weight even by the end of the summer and I understand that I need to tell her.

I was living in denial, telling myself that I could delay the inevitable and lying to myself saying that I could change in time. Reading everyones advice on here has made me see sense. I am going to talk to her about this on Friday when she is finished with her college stuff and explain things openly and frankly.

Whatever happens happens, and either way i know in my heart of hearts that this girl has changed my life forever. I cant ever see myself going back to how I used to live again. Its what got me into this mess in the first place.

Thanks to each and every one of you again, you have really helped me out. I might post again after friday to let you know how it went If anyone is interested.

Chessala

I am glad you could make a decision!

Best of luck to you and it would be nice if you could tell the outcome. Keeping my fingers crossed for you!

up for anything

common sense brigade wrote: »

it wouldnt bother me if my husband was 12 stone or 20. he would be just as attractive to me. if this woman loves you then your weight will not matter. love is how you treat someone and not just words you say. own up now about your weight as her only real issue with you will probably be the fact you lied about it.

This is rather naive. There is a huge difference between your husband being attractive to you regardless of what weight he might be and meeting 'a total stranger' for the first time.

OP, you have made the right decision to discuss it with her. And, as for someone here saying that that you are not in love with her because you haven't actually met, that is bullshit to me. Who you reveal yourself to be online, if you are honest, is probably the truest you will ever be. Yes, there can be shock at seeing some one in person that you know inside out, even if you have seen photos, but eventually the person can merge with the virtual reality image.

The problem is that your close relationship, while not built on lies, is built on omission of some huge facts and I'm not talking about your person but the reasons why you think that you put on weight and the effect it has had on you. Have you discussed with her the reasons that you became reclusive and why?

You'd better hope that she is the forgiving type because she would be well within her rights to feel betrayed and disrespected by you and if she decides to have nothing more to do with you, you will never really know whether it was to do with that or the prospect of you being a large man and the uncertainty will damage your self-esteem further.

I really wish you a happy conclusion to this.

thecookingapple

Other people have given you advice with the moral stuff, i will give you some pointers on weight loss.

1. porridge, fruit and water in the morning

2. a glass of water every half hour, dont worry about constant peeing at the begininning, this will subside.

3. start doing sit ups, start of with 5 every morning and night, go up by 2 everyday

4. walk more, dont use elavtors etc, start fast walking increase this to light jogging.

5.bowl of soup and fresh fruit for lunch.

6. for your dinner, between 5.30 and 7.30, instead of one main dinner, have three small portions of whatever it is your eating, i would recommend not eating potatoes, rice etc every day, have it every two days, replace these with fresh vegetables such as boiled or mashed turnip or carrots, eat salad with a small amount of lemon and olive oil on alternative days, dont eat white bread, just a good quality brown bread, dont drink anything that is fizzy, drink 100% fruit juices that are not made from concentrate.

7. move your couch away from the tv, pc,dvd etc and replace with kitchen chair, the more uncomfortable the better.

8. buy grapes, dried banana chips, mandarin oranges, apples, water melon, have these in moderation when you feel hungry and with a glass of water.

9. be come more active, if you live near a park or canal, spend a hour picking up rubbish or cans.wear protective gloves if you choose to do this.

10. join a gym when you feel like you have built up enough stamina.

loosing weight requires strenght of will, you have this, you just dont know where you put it, you will find it!

loosing alot of weight requires a complete change in mentality, it requires you as the owner of your body to know what is going into it, would you let a rat in to your house and welcome it?

loosing alot of weight requires you to lose your shame, this is not a time to care what others think, this is your time, this is what you need to do and nobody but you can change you.

set your self a goal every week, not weight loss, but walking/running an extra 5 minutes, doing an extra 100 sit ups a week in a time you would not normally do them in.

start using your brain to find out information about what vitamins, nutrition, foods etc that are good for you from the internet, you have used this site to seek help, now use the web to help yourself.

with intellgence, hard work, the right mentality and inner strenght you can be a different person physically in three months!!!!! three months!!!

good luck and god bless.

HugoDrax

Can I give you a diet and exercise plan?

Diet

Breakfast - bowl of weetabix, boiled egg, apple, glass of orange juice, slice of toast with flora and a cup of tea.

Dinner - Two pork chops, peas or beans, three boiled spuds, carrots, cabbage, a glass of milk and chocolate bar for desert.

Supper - banana, cup of tea, two cheese, ham, lettuce and tomato sandwichs made from brown bread.

Drink lots of water during the day and limit yourself to only three or four pints in the pub during the week.

Exercise - go for a walk around your local park, get off a two stops early before you got to work or return home and walk the rest of the way.Try and do a few push ups even if your face is going purple.

Do that and you won't exactly be slim but you won't be fat either.



That's really what you want anyway.

fghijkl

Please don't take any heed of HugoDrax's "diet" OP, it's awful.
I know you know have more sense ......but just in case :cool:

compaqlaptop1

There is some pretty bad fitness advice being given out here...situps for a guy looking to lose serious weight are pointless...and an obese person will not be able to do pushups. He needs to start lifting weights and getting some proper cardio.

OP I recommend going onto the health&fitness forum here and asking members to put together an exercise/diet routine for you. You could spend months slogging way making little progress and then come back looking for advice on where you went wrong....or you could get that advice now and get it right from the start. You could drop a crazy amount of weight in a reasonable amount of time, and do it healthily, if have the willpower.

And check out this thread for motivation, lots of very overweight people who have got into excellent shape - http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=108359701

There's is no way you will drop the kind of weight you are looking to drop in 2 months time. With 6 months though, you could get in great shape so you could try and delay meeting her for a bit.

NKearney50

OP go for it.

This adventure could change your life for the better.

Lose the weight, get active, get healthy for you and for her.

Online dating rocks........I fell in love with my partner after speaking on the phone for several weeks. When we met we instantly clicked. That was 3 yrs ago, we have barely been apart since. Marriage is even on the cards.

We both took an enormous leap of faith and it paid off.

Love is a powerful thing........it can change your life......sacrifices will have to be made.

But also it may not work but hey you only live once and hearts are made to be broken.

Life is about experience.........to not have loved or to not have been loved is a life not worth having.

Good luck and let us know how it goes.

Handsome Bob

Hey OP.

First things first, as everyone else said, it's time to be honest. Now, if you're as obese as you say you are, I can't believe that it wouldn't show in your face, so surely it won't come as too much of a shock to this girl when you finally fess up.

Now, this is going to sound like a cliche but it's the truth; this woman has fallen for you for a reason. Yes it's important to get healthy but it's also important that you be the person she fell for once you meet her. Don't let your lack of confidence destroy your chance with this person. Have some respect for yourself because this woman clearly thinks the world of you and it's important that you believe this, and that you believe in yourself as well.

Once upon a time I was in a similar situation to yourself, I was adored by a woman that I adored as well. But because of my hang ups over my weight, I destroyed something that could have been really special. It wasn't an issue for her but I couldn't believe that, so when the time came to step up and be the man that she fell for, I couldn't do it. Then she left.

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is this; love yourself, and she's gonna love you. Don't end up like me ffs. :pac:

LegacyUser

So chaps, i talked to her about it last night. It wasnt easy for me and Im guessing it wasnt easy for her either.

Surprisingly to me, she told me that she doesn't see my weight being a problem and If it IS a problem then its something we can work on together. She added that we will never know whether we truly like each other till we meet anyway so there is no point in worrying about it right now. This girl... is beyond amazing. So considerate, understanding and just... sigh.. I dont deserve her.

I am going to do my damn best to be as perfect for her as I can when we meet. She is worth it all and so much more. Thank you all for your words of support and your advice you have really made a difference in my life and thats not an overstatement.

Time to get myself right.

Handsome Bob

talkedtoherlastnight wrote: »

So chaps, i talked to her about it last night. It wasnt easy for me and Im guessing it wasnt easy for her either.

Surprisingly to me, she told me that she doesn't see my weight being a problem and If it IS a problem then its something we can work on together. She added that we will never know whether we truly like each other till we meet anyway so there is no point in worrying about it right now. This girl... is beyond amazing. So considerate, understanding and just... sigh.. I dont deserve her.

I am going to do my damn best to be as perfect for her as I can when we meet. She is worth it all and so much more. Thank you all for your words of support and your advice you have really made a difference in my life and thats not an overstatement.

Time to get myself right.

You've got a special one there pal, make sure you have the confidence to give the relationship everything you have.

Chessala

talkedtoherlastnight wrote: »

So chaps, i talked to her about it last night. It wasnt easy for me and Im guessing it wasnt easy for her either.

Surprisingly to me, she told me that she doesn't see my weight being a problem and If it IS a problem then its something we can work on together. She added that we will never know whether we truly like each other till we meet anyway so there is no point in worrying about it right now. This girl... is beyond amazing. So considerate, understanding and just... sigh.. I dont deserve her.

I am going to do my damn best to be as perfect for her as I can when we meet. She is worth it all and so much more. Thank you all for your words of support and your advice you have really made a difference in my life and thats not an overstatement.

Time to get myself right.

I am very happy for you. You really have a nice and understanding girl there and I truly hope that everything will be just as great when you finally meet.

Good luck for your relationship!