The dreaded job hunt

Mrs Garth Brooks

I was in a job I hated for 6 years. Last year i saved money to go back to college and do a course i always wanted to do.I am living of savings. I am almost finished and i have the option to do another year which i would like to do sometime but as everything comes down to money, i cant do it this year. So i am taking a year out and seeing what happens then.

The course i was in was very stressful. Loads of work and assignments to do. It was only until yesterday i could make time and go out job hunting. Every place i went into said, sorry there's no vacancies. I pick one part of town and called into hundreds of places. At least im trying.

After 6 years in a job i hated, and then into a stressful course. I would love nothing more than a bit of a break to do nothing. I have enough saved to see me through until september or october so im not to bothered about finding work and i certainly dont need it right now. Im handing my cv in now so hopefully by june or july comes, there might be something.

My problem is my housemate. She doesn't stop asking me about whether im getting work or not. Every week since i moved in here, she has asked me did i get work. I mentioned that i would like some part time work during college, when i first moved in.

She's worse now since there's an end in sight for college. Telling me i need work. I told her i was going on the dole to shut her up. She was not happy. Its like as if she's trying to be my mother. Its doing my head in. Is it too much to ask for a break?

Sorry for ranting, but i know myself i need work sometime. And its bad enough everyone telling me there's nothing. But jesus, i dont want someone telling me and constantly at me to get work. When it happens, it happens. And if it doesn't i would be quite happy on the dole cause i learnt how to live on €150 a week.

HugoDrax

HardLuckWoman wrote: »

I was in a job I hated for 6 years. Last year i saved money to go back to college and do a course i always wanted to do.I am living of savings. I am almost finished and i have the option to do another year which i would like to do sometime but as everything comes down to money, i cant do it this year. So i am taking a year out and seeing what happens then.

The course i was in was very stressful. Loads of work and assignments to do. It was only until yesterday i could make time and go out job hunting. Every place i went into said, sorry there's no vacancies. I pick one part of town and called into hundreds of places. At least im trying.

After 6 years in a job i hated, and then into a stressful course. I would love nothing more than a bit of a break to do nothing. I have enough saved to see me through until september or october so im not to bothered about finding work and i certainly dont need it right now. Im handing my cv in now so hopefully by june or july comes, there might be something.

My problem is my housemate. She doesn't stop asking me about whether im getting work or not. Every week since i moved in here, she has asked me did i get work. I mentioned that i would like some part time work during college, when i first moved in.

She's worse now since there's an end in sight for college. Telling me i need work. I told her i was going on the dole to shut her up. She was not happy. Its like as if she's trying to be my mother. Its doing my head in. Is it too much to ask for a break?

Sorry for ranting, but i know myself i need work sometime. And its bad enough everyone telling me there's nothing. But jesus, i dont want someone telling me and constantly at me to get work. When it happens, it happens. And if it doesn't i would be quite happy on the dole cause i learnt how to live on €150 a week.

Your housemate has no right to lecture you on getting a job.
Tell her to mind your business and whenever she starts on about it cut her off and tell her to butt out.
If she doesn't get the message don't be afraid to be rude and perhaps tell her to look for somewhere else to live or look for somewhere else to live yourself - talk to the social welfare office about making arrangements to move somewhere else if you need to.
There is a recession at the moment and hundreds of thousands many with lots of qualifications and skills are out of work and thousands are emigrating every week.
Your house mate clearly hasn't a clue so you should tell her that.
In the long term perhaps you should consider going abroad because many people have found work in Australia, Canada, the UK and so on.
If you need a break for a month or two to clear your head - then do it and tell this busy body where to stick it.

Frowzy

Fair play to you for going after your dream!

Your housemate seems to be putting pressure on you for no reason, unless she's your landlord and you're behind with the rent then its none of her business! However you still have to live there so starting a fight may not be ideal!

Next time she asks you if you're looking for a job, put down what you're doing, turn to her and face her head on and ask nicely:

"You know you've asked me that same question a lot lately and I'm wondering what your concerns are exactly?"

This will put her in the position of having to explain herself to you and hopefully she'll realise that it's an uncomfortable position for anyone.

As an aside, I wonder if you've applied to the social welfare for back to education allowance? You may be entitled to it.

Best of Luck!

Mrs Garth Brooks

I wrote this yesterday as she started on me once again yesterday morning. And didn't shut up until i left the room. I was only making a cup of tea!

Yesterday evening she apologised for starting at me. I didnt have to say anything. So she knew she was wrong. So why did she start at me in the first place? I didnt ask for this crap.

mood

Does she own the apt? If she does tell her you will have to move out if she keeps nagging you. That should shot her up!

Mrs Garth Brooks

She doesn't own it. She isn't the landlord either. But she's been there for 5 years and at times she thinks she owns the place. She isn't happy if i dont do things her way around the house. But even if she did own it, its not her place to be telling me i need work. Especially when im so laid back myself that i couldnt care less if i find work.

mood

HardLuckWoman wrote: »

I wrote this yesterday as she started on me once again yesterday morning. And didn't shut up until i left the room. I was only making a cup of tea!

Yesterday evening she apologised for starting at me. I didnt have to say anything. So she knew she was wrong. So why did she start at me in the first place? I didnt ask for this crap.

At that point you should have stood up to her and told her what she is doing is not on. Your finances are your personal business and you don't welcome this kind of intrusion into you personal business. The next chance you get you should tell her.

cafecolour

Move.

Mrs Garth Brooks

cafecolour wrote: »

Move.

I am. Once i have my exams over with, im gone.

Sibylla

Believe me housemates can make your life hell, If you're not living somewhere you feel comfortable you are not going to be happy, Let alone enjoy the summer, you deserve a break and you don't need her badgering you all the time. To be honest I would tell her to mind her own business. There is so much accommodation out there have a look around you could find a much better living situation.

going un-reg

Eh, ok firstly...

Your flatmate has no right to butt into your personal life, Just tell her outright that it's none of her business. If she doesn't hold anything over you ie. being the landlord (which you've stated they're not) well then I don't see the issue. You must be the sort who doesn't like confrontations as if it were not the case, I think you'd have told her where to shove it by now.

If she thinks she owns the place, well that's her issue and a pathetic one at that, sounds like she needs to be taken down a notch or two. (Verbally, not physically )

Like the others have said, good on you for doing what you want to do, I don't think I'd be able to stay in something for that length of time and have been happy!

I've had my fair share of difficult housemates, direct and straight to the point wins over subtle and conservative. Especially one who has a bit of an ego head! Good luck op

Mrs Garth Brooks

Well, I am finished my exams about a week. I have been looking for work and no joy. I will be signing on the dole, which i have an interview at the dole office tomorrow. So the place im in now is the only proof of address i have for the past year. My idea was to get the dole sorted, and give my months notice to the landlord next week, to get out of this place.

She really is making my life hell. She is too nosey and wants to know everything about me and what I do.
If i go out, I get the questions, who im with, where i went, what i had to drink/dinner.
If im at home cooking breakfast or dinner, she will ask me what im having. Being cheeky and giving her as little information as possible doesn't work. When she asked me once whats in the pot, i said breakfast. Its wasn't good enough so she lifted the lid. She has done quite a few times.

And as for this job junt she wants to know everything the dole office wants to know. She has even asked me for proof that im looking for work!

She has been sick for a few weeks and was staying at her partner's house. So it was a bit of freedom from the questions. Except for text messages, where she will start asking me is there mail. I try and be polite and let her know if there's mail. But that seems to be an invitation to quiz me. Where i just have ignore any further texts.

So she came back yesterday, the first time i saw her in weeks. She barged into the sitting room where i was watching TV, started telling me she lived here too while pulling the curtains open. The sun was glaring off the TV and i can never see the TV with the curtains open. People walk past the window and looks in. Im not comfortable sitting with the curtains open. She was calling me inconsiderate for closing the curtains. Started at me and I dont know why. She went off into a huff into the kitchen. 5 minutes later, came back in and apologised, then asked for a drop of milk. Thats why she apologised.

So i have to get out. If i leave tomorrow, i lose the months deposit. Sometimes i think its worth it. But its also my responsibility to find someone else to move in before I go. At this stage, I dont care. I dont want to be living with someone like this. And i know the million questions when i do move.

What do i do, do i get a place now and lose the deposit? Or do i suffer another months locked into my room to avoid her?

Piglet85

Are you at home a lot OP? Perhaps (as you say she acts like she owns the place) she feels like she should have the space to herself more often and that you're hanging around too much. Not that she would have any right to feel that way, as it's your house too, but perhaps that's the reason for her constant badgering.

If it's only another month I'd stick it out, just communicate with her as little as possible until you can leave!

Mrs Garth Brooks

I gave my notice. I haven't found anything yet but I have a month to find something.

I had enough when the housemate came back on monday and decided she wasn't going to pay the bins. It was time for renewal. Her reason, she's moving out in november. It was 270 shared between 3. Not much really. I thought that you might be able to get bags or bin tags in the shop. There's a service charge of 300 and then on top of that you also have to pay €6 for a bin tag. Well that seems stupid, why pay an extra 130 euro. She then went on to ask can I afford it pretty much hinting that I should pay. Her idea was that we can use the neighbours bin. She was meant to ask, im not sure if she did. But im not comfortable knocking on the neighbours door weekly with a bag of rubbish.

So its my first time renting, and don't know how all this works. Is it my responsibility to find someone to take over the room?

My question is should i feel guilty leaving the place, if no one wants it. The room was €300 a month and now no refuse, who will want it? Especially when there's cheaper places out there. Im sure the housemate can afford to make up the rent though with her savings from not paying the bins!