Would you find it hard to admit that you were abused?

letsbehonest

Would you find it hard to admit that you were abused because you are a man. Either sexually or physically at some point in your life. I have done a bit of research online and it says men find it harder to admit they were abused compared to women because they fear that people will see them as less of of a man if they do.
I know that the amount of woman that seek help for abuse and depression is much higher than men but yet more men commit suicide than women!
So do you think it's harder for men to admit to problems because there men?

SugarHigh

I have no idea. To be honest I'm really bad at trying to imagine those kind of scenarios so I don't really know how bad I'd handle it.

Otis Driftwood

I certainly think there is a massive link between male suicide and men's inability/unwillingness to express their feelings,be it depression,feelings of isolation or whatever because of the social stigma still attached to it (admitting we arent ok) and that we are supposed to "be a man" and get on with things.

Its a sad reality that many men,young and old have taken their own lives because of this.

As for the abuse question,I dont think anyone could answer the question truly honestly unless they had suffered abuse.Thankfully its something I never went through so Im not going to speculate by answering the question.

RedRebel

"So do you think it's harder for men to admit to problems because therey're men?"

I think that's been answered elsewhere a million times at this stage. Yes, yes it is. Due to social perceptions, self-perception (big boys don't cry) and the abused perceived embarrassment. I could reel off reasons all day to be honest.

In my experience men bottle things up and move on, but sometimes this approach has repercussions years down the line. Women on the other hand struggle to bottle anything up for more than a week before it spills out in an 'incident' the culmination of which revolves around you being to blame for whatever is wrong

Handsome Bob

I believe it is, it's unbelievably sad. The worst thing about it is that even when someone is man enough to admit that they're struggling, it tends to be swept under the carpet by some of the older generation. You know, the old "don't ever repeat this to your mother" attitude.

Some people say that things will get better as society moves on, but when I look at some of my own male peers (such as friends, brothers, their male friends etc etc), I'm not sure that they'll ever be more comfortable dealing with hearing that another male is struggling any better than the older male generation does right now.

Just the other week someone I know was complaining about how his mate got drunk and started to talk about their mutual friend who committed suicide a few years back. These guys are only in their late 20s. It's depressing.

Penn

I'd like to think I could admit it, but probably couldn't (depending on the circumstances)

I have pretty much been called a robot on several occasions as I don't display a lot of emotion. Its even been joked about that some of my friends are waiting for the day I explode in a fit of emotional rage, which was said for a laugh but has also almost happened a few times.

Handsome Bob

Barrington wrote: »

I'd like to think I could admit it, but probably couldn't (depending on the circumstances)

I have pretty much been called a robot on several occasions as I don't display a lot of emotion. Its even been joked about that some of my friends are waiting for the day I explode in a fit of emotional rage, which was said for a laugh but has also almost happened a few times.

I'd be a lot like you tbh, rarely have any emotional outbursts. Haven't done so in years (barring the odd drunken rant at someone :pac:). Everyone sees me as this picture of calmness and laid backness, but I'd also be worried that one day I might go into rage mode.

Galway K9

Guy no, girl yes

Kevin Duffy

letsbehonest wrote: »

I know that the amount of woman that seek help for abuse and depression is much higher than men but yet more men commit suicide than women

Er, why you do see these facts as contradictory, rather than part of the cause and effect?

CDfm

Esther Rantzen highlighted this in a campaign by Childline last year.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2009/nov/09/boys-sexual-abuse-childline

Guys do find it difficult to admit things but it is still the case that service delivery on abuse issues is always directed towards female victims and not for guys.

A schoolfriend of mine was abused by a staff member at school & no-one knew until after his suicide so his abuser , a man, was not prosecuted .

So if people expect changes social policies and service delivery should change.

The help is not there for guys.

Magic Eight Ball

Otis Driftwood wrote: »

I certainly think there is a massive link between male suicide and men's inability/unwillingness to express their feelings.

Fully agree.
They say more women seek help for depression in Ireland, yet the suicide rate is much higher amoung men.

Our health system isn't much help, their answer to any mental health problem is pills, pills, pills.

Kevin Duffy

Why are people under the impression that it's some kind of surprise or anomaly that men are less inclined to express their feelings "yet" are more commonly victims of suicide?
Surely men are less inclined to express feelings and are therefore more commonly victims of suicide.

the_syco

Magic Eight Ball wrote: »

They say more women seek help for depression in Ireland, yet the suicide rate is much higher amoung men.

Someone once said: suicide is a cry for help for women. They take pills somewhere where they'd be found before they die. Males do it to end their lives: jump in front of trains, or hang themselves in a remote area.

This has always been a problem in Ireland. It was marked down as "accidents" in the past in rural Ireland, to spare the family any shame.

Otis Driftwood

the_syco wrote: »

This has always been a problem in Ireland. It was marked down as "accidents" in the past in rural Ireland, to spare the family any shame.

Ya,Id say we will never know the true figures for it unfortunatly and as a result that means less funding for prevention and awareness,its a vicious circle.:(

CDfm

Lots of guys get embarressed about saying stuff like my job sucks or my life sucks etc

There is a huge percieved "stigma" about saying you are under pressure.

Last year suicide touched my group of friends and it was one of the guys who tried to do it all who killed himself. Another guy in the wider circle died of undiagnosed prostate cancer.

Now I go out with the lads on a tuesday and have done for years and we do talk stuff at times because its natural.

Between that & my lesbian friends I reckon I am well looked after.

LegacyUser

Unreged for this one

I dont find it hard to admit that I was bullied physically and mentally bye teachers and kids for half my life.
I find it harder to tell people about my past even to some degree my past has been delt with, its always going to be there and pain never goes away.

Ive had a mental addiction to weed and hash. Were I smoked untill i passs out sleep for 13 hours start smoking agian untill i forced my self to pass out again litereatly ground hog day for about a year.

You know when I read that I dont feel bad what I do feel bad about is the fact that I had two loveing amazing parents that, watched me do this to my self at one point i thought about ending it and it scares me to think how. close I really came at times. I feel properly anixous, over it.

I do think its harder for men to talk about there problems and I realise theres a certain Ironey that falls with it, that Im posting unreged.... When I look back I don't really remember much thankfully I just feel the anxiety that surrounds it ,the weed killed of enough brain cells to stop me.....

I wouldn't say my past is haunting, it just hurts. So no I don't really talk about it...

Infact the only person I talk about it to is a councilor ...