When I tell her....

essayef

I'm pretty much head over heels with a girl from my course in college. I'm planning on telling her how I feel next time its just me and her walking out at the end of the day. Only thing is I'm not sure what to do/say after I tell her. Do I kiss her? Do I wait for her to respond? Something else?

Any help really appreciated

Kiera

Do you have any idea how she feels about you? I ask this because if she only sees you as a mate then you could ruin everything. Has she dropped any hints that she likes you too or are you just going in for the kill without any signs?

smiles302

Ask her on a date?

I wouldn't jump straight in and kiss her. Give her a chance to answer/think about it.

essayef

Kiera wrote: »

Do you have any idea how she feels about you? I ask this because if she only sees you as a mate then you could ruin everything. Has she dropped any hints that she likes you too or are you just going in for the kill without any signs?

Well she definitely really likes me, but I'm not sure if she thinks of me the same way. She could possibly just see us as really good friends

smiles302 wrote: »

Ask her on a date?

I wouldn't jump straight in and kiss her. Give her a chance to answer/think about it.

I could be over-thinking this, but I think it would a bit strange(for lack of a better term) asking her on a date (considering how much time we spend together)

Kiera

Ok if you feel she likes you too then ask her out for a bite to eat? I wouldnt jump in for a wear after telling her you like her tho.

essayef

Ok agree on the jumping in for a kiss part! So you think I should ask her out first rather than just tell her how I feel?

Marcus_Crassus

Definitely just ask her out first. Professing your love to her straight away would be a bad idea IMO; it could scare her if you're that forward. Just take it step by step and take it slow.

essayef

Ha I wasn't planning on professing my love! Just telling her that I really like her and in more than a friendship way

Marcus_Crassus

Ha! Sorry. That sounds better, but I would definitely still go with the date first just to gauge the situation..

essayef

I'm still not really sure about the date idea. When you gauge the situation, is that not just giving me more opportunity to 'bottle it'?

Marcus_Crassus

Well, you said yourself, you're not sure whether she views you as a potential partner or good friends. So, offer her the date and her answer should tell you. If she likes you, then tell her how you feel. There's nothing to bottle, she either likes you in that way or she doesn't, you're just trying to ascertain which it is and then you can proceed to tell her whatever you like..

essayef

Ok I get you now, thanks!

Taltos

OP - take the advice above - otherwise you are going to come off way too strong - big risk you may scare her off.
You have had all the time in the world to figure out how you feel - grant her a bit of time too.

No need for anything too elaborate - why not just ask her for a bite after class, a chance to spend some time together - then play it by ear. If she asks if it a date brilliant - just laugh and say absolutely.
Chat over food - and see how the land lies before jumping in with two feet and freaking her out - for all you know she might just see you as friends - but definitely go for it

HugoDrax

You shouldn't jump the gun.

Get talking to her and when the subject of movies comes up and she starts talking about that movie she wants to see just suggest seeing it together. Tell her what time and location and arrange to see her there.
Before you go see the movie, half an hour maybe, sit and talk over a drink and get to know each other better.
Then go to the movie and sit with her. If it is a horror and there is a scary bit pretend you are protecting her by hugging her. If it's a romantic movie and there is soppy bit use this as an excuse to hold her hand when there is a kissing scene take the chance to look into her eyes and kiss her just like the couple on the screen.
After the movie go for something to eat and get to know each other even more.
You don't have to tell her you like her or love her or anything until you have been going out for a few months.

essayef

Taltos wrote: »

OP - take the advice above - otherwise you are going to come off way too strong - big risk you may scare her off.

Just on this, do you really think there's that much of a chance I'd scare her off? I'm kind of thinking that at this stage she either already likes me in that way or she doesn't?

tbh

essayef wrote: »

Just on this, do you really think there's that much of a chance I'd scare her off? I'm kind of thinking that at this stage she either already likes me in that way or she doesn't?

just say "hey - do you fancy going for a drink one night next week, just the two of us?"
Nice and casual like
If she likes you just as a mate, she'll probably say yeah but her reaction will help you gauge how she feels, and obviously if you do go for a drink, you can see how she reacts to you on the night.
If she likes you as a potential boyf, she'll say YEAH! and you're off at the races
if she doesn't like you in the same way, she can say no, and no big deal right? It was just a casual drink after all.

Pretty much what taltos said

missgroovy21

tell her you like her!!!!! then you'll know one way or the other just beware that she may not feel the same way....good luck!!!

LegacyUser

I think you could be very careful in this situ.
Things could get very awkward very fast.


I definitely think you would be wise to focus on your course and coursework. Stay focused.
You need to remember, that you are both there at the end of the day to work hard and get a degree.

Kevin Duffy

Caution! wrote: »

You need to remember, that you are both there at the end of the day to work hard and get a degree.

Yes, Irish colleges and universities are famous for being chaste and not places to meet people and form relationships :rolleyes: