Ex-Girlfriend stalking me, damaged my car.

PrettyBoy

Looking for some clarification here on what I can do ie. charges:

Story is that my car was vandalised (eggs and sugar with the intention of damaging the paint) twice this week outside a friends house. I knew it was my ex and 3 of her friends but couldn't prove it. Then, last night, it happened again while my car was parked outside my current girlfriend's house (a good 2-3 miles from where it happened the first 2 times). I saw them as I was leaving and they saw me, they jumped back in the car and sped off. I left after them and they were driving pretty eratically (running red lights, speeding, etc.).

I eventually came across them in an estate and pulled in front of them and then alongside them with the intention of saying something along the lines of "what the **** are you doing, you're paying for the damage, etc". The driver, my ex girlfriends friend, panicked when I pulled up beside her and reversed quickly, hitting my car, smashing the window and the electric mirror on the drivers side.

She drove off after that and I decided to leave it, chasing them around all night wouldn't get me anywhere. Anyway, background is I broke up with this girl over a year ago, she is now trying to make my life as hard as she possibly can. She has threatened me several times and also my current girlfriend on one occasion. She is more or less stalking me and, this week, has vandalized my car 3 times with her friends, causing at least €500 worth of damage, probably more.

Can anyone give me a vague idea on what can I do about charging her with the damage she and her friends have done to my car and about her behavior in general?

MagicSean

Go to a Garda station

cruizer101

First things first report it to the guards as soon as you can if you haven't already, just so it is on record soon after the incident.

They may be able to help advise. It could be a tricky one as it will be your word against against hers and her few friends. But other than you and your girlfriend reporting the incidents I can't offer much more advice.

PrettyBoy

I know, I'm going to report it to the Guards tomorrow but I just want to have a vague idea of what kind of charges she and her friends could face.

Criminal damage for the car?

Anything for the stalking, threats?

Forgot to mention that all of these incidents have been unprovoked, I haven't been in contact with her in months. She tries to contact me on occasion but I ignore her. I had a friend in the car with me when their car hit mine and the window and mirror smashed. Don't know if him being a witness has any significance?

MagicSean

Criminal damage and harassment for your ex. Criminal damage, harassment, dangerous driving and hit and run for her mate.

PCPhoto

you could also consider a dashboard camera or in car camera ..... just for extra proof.....they're cheap enough (I think) .... or put a camera facing the car from the house to get video evidence - without them knowing.

this should give the gardai hard evidence required to prove the case.

Do not engage contact with her - ignore her - do not chase after her.....let the gardai do their thing and fingers crossed you will get a prosecution.

Document all evidence, dates, times .... ring gardai every time damage is done or you get threatened or girlfriend gets threatened.

NWPat

From what you say, unless your ex admits to damaging your car there is nothing the guards can do, its your word against hers. As for the driver of the car who crashed into you. You left the scene of an accident and so did she, there is no way the guards could prove who was at fault. You should have called the guards there and then and not moved your car. My guess is the guards will have no interest in this at all, apart from the fact that you will be admitting leaving the scene of an accident.

blorg

There is no law against leaving the scene of an accident.

MagicSean

Ignore the above posts. Harassment is taken very seriously but can be a long investigation with no guarantees of conviction. Ive seen people convicted of criminal damage on less evidence than you have. And there is a law against leaving the scene of an accident.

MagicSean

PCPhoto wrote: »

you could also consider a dashboard camera or in car camera ..... just for extra proof.....they're cheap enough (I think) .... or put a camera facing the car from the house to get video evidence - without them knowing.

this should give the gardai hard evidence required to prove the case.

Do not engage contact with her - ignore her - do not chase after her.....let the gardai do their thing and fingers crossed you will get a prosecution.

Document all evidence, dates, times .... ring gardai every time damage is done or you get threatened or girlfriend gets threatened.

You can get a dashboard cam and four hour memory card for €50 on eBay. Home CCTV systems start at about €250

NWPat

You are right, there is no explicit law stating this, however, the law does state; that you have to leave your car for a reasonable amount of time and can only move it when its position has been marked, that you have to give your details to the owner of any damaged property and must contact the Guards at once. While I am not critisising the OP given the stress of the situation, the guards will only have his word as to what occured.

professore

k_mac wrote: »

Ignore the above posts. Harassment is taken very seriously but can be a long investigation with no guarantees of conviction. Ive seen people convicted of criminal damage on less evidence than you have. And there is a law against leaving the scene of an accident.

I suppose there might be forensic evidence that your ex gf crashed into you. Otherwise I don't see how you would get a conviction. If it was that easy what is to stop anyone if they scrape their paint pinning it on some poor unfortunate?

OTOH we can't seem to convict people who bankrupt the country :rolleyes:

I would also say to get a discreet camera to monitor your car outside your house.

What did you do to that girl to make you such a target of her and her friends

blorg

Should have clarified, I was referring to NWPat's saying the OP left the scene of an accident. He is not obliged to remain at the scene and call for the gardai if there were no injuries and the other driver has driven off. So he shouldn't worry about that. AFAIK, IANAL.

NWPat

Lets pretend I am the driver of the other car, the guards call to my house and ask what happened.
"My friend wanted to speak to her ex so I drove to his house, but as we got out of the car he came running at us. I was scared and jumped in the car and drove off. He began to chase us in his car, we were terrified and were scared as to what he might do to us. I was so scared and tried to hide from him and parked up. I thought we had lost him but then he drove into the back of my car, I was so scared I just drove off. I was just about to go and report the incident when you turned up."

Two sides to every story.

Zombrex

NWPat wrote: »

Lets pretend I am the driver of the other car, the guards call to my house and ask what happened.
"My friend wanted to speak to her ex so I drove to his house, but as we got out of the car he came running at us. I was scared and jumped in the car and drove off. He began to chase us in his car, we were terrified and were scared as to what he might do to us. I was so scared and tried to hide from him and parked up. I thought we had lost him but then he drove into the back of my car, I was so scared I just drove off. I was just about to go and report the incident when you turned up."

Two sides to every story.

yeah but that side requires that someone lies to the police. that, while possible, is what the guards are trained to get to the bottom of. Most people, when faced with the stress of lying to the police, will make mistakes and contradictions in their story and the police are trained to spot this.

Saying that while I have sympathy with the OP doing what the OP did is not recommended. You should document as much as possible from a passive point of view and let the police do their thing. Chasing after them in a car is a really bad idea, particularly if they claim you were driving aggressively.

doomed

Report it to the Gardai. Even a word from them about the complaint to her should scare her off.

The other option is to talk to a solicitor about a restraining order against her.

As to what happened already in terms of damage proof will be the difficulty.

If you treated her badly let the car damage be a punishment and draw a line under it.

NWPat

Of course this would be the first time someone had lied to the guards and they gain 100% convictions in all cases.:rolleyes: While this is a big deal for the OP, and rightly so, it will not be for the guards.

Zambia

Wicknight wrote: »

Chasing after them in a car is a really bad idea, particularly if they claim you were driving aggressively.

+1

Please try and imagine me saying this in a very calm matter of fact tone of voice.

If either car had been involved in a collision there would be Garda involvement. Imagine trying to explain to a relative of a victim. That you engaged in pursuing someone on public roads, because they had thrown some eggs and flour on your car. Especially when you have her number and could have rang her and said your piece.

Sorry to sound holier than thou it's a sh&t situation and the other advice above on the matter should help.

DonalK1981

Only thing to do is report it, your ex and her friend have to pay damages simple as. Bit nuts of them if you ask me. There may be film somewhere of your car chase, your friend and her friends all have to be asked some questions and the truth will come out.

amdublin

I think you should forget about getting anything done about the past/the original damage.

I think you should report her to the gards now, start recording everything going forward.

Don't chase her again!!! Don't engage with her full stop!

PrettyBoy

professore wrote: »

What did you do to that girl to make you such a target of her and her friends

I broke up with her over a year ago due to her behavior (ie. she refused to get along with almost all of my female friends, caused a lot of fights, constantly questioning me every time I went out without her, her unwillingness to trust me when I was around other women...believe me when I say this girl has a lot of issues). She wasn't happy and refused to accept that we weren't together anymore. She kept calling me and coming to my house, acting as if nothing had happened and we were still together. After about 3-4 weeks of this I blocked her on Facebook, stopped answering her calls, ignored her texts, etc.

She's been stalking me for months. We have a couple of mutual friends who I would prefer to stay out of it but somehow always manage to fill her in on exactly where I'm going, who I'm with, etc.

Anyway, I know there's a good chance nothing can really be done about this. I went to the guards today and told them my side, might get some kind of camera installed on my car, don't know if it will happen again.

Reloc8

blorg wrote: »

There is no law against leaving the scene of an accident.

What ?

Are you serious ?

You have not a clue - s. 106 RTA 1961

blorg

Reloc8 wrote: »

What ?

Are you serious ?

You have not a clue - s. 106 RTA 1961

There is an obligation in the case of property damage to give your details to the other party. There is no obligation to call the gardai and wait at the scene.

angelfire9

doomed wrote: »

Report it to the Gardai. Even a word from them about the complaint to her should scare her off.

The other option is to talk to a solicitor about a restraining order against her.

As to what happened already in terms of damage proof will be the difficulty.

If you treated her badly let the car damage be a punishment and draw a line under it.

To the best of my knowledge (and I admit I am a bit hazy on this as it is years since i had to deal with it) but you cannot get a restraining order or a protection order against someone unless you have been co-habiting for a good chunk of the last 12 months

I'm sure some of the legal eagles here can clarify more precisely than me but that is the general gist of it

I agree you should go to the Gardai
And catalogue EVERYTHING
They will give her a warning if her behaviour is causing you distress
(Non-Fatal offences against the person's Act 1997 don't ask me to quote section & subsection cos I don't know them :rolleyes: )

But
I will say this
And I say it as a cop's daughter and now a cop's wife
It is difficult to get convictions for harassment until things get really bad

I was stalked by an ex years ago (post 1998) he followed me everywhere he texted me constantly he rang my house all the time and sat outside it numerous times
The gardai were very sympathetic and helpful but he was brought before the court 3 times and they failed to get a conviction because the judge thought it was "Harmless Puppy Love" :eek:

He ended up breaking into my house one night when I got home after a night out, trying to strangle me and leaving me for dead when I fainted and THEN he got a conviction but still no jail time
Under Section 4, Section 5 and Section 10 of NFOAP Act if memory serves me right
He was however ordered by the court to stay away from me for the rest of my life
(i've no idea how enforceable this is in law but it seems to have worked)

Good luck!