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Social time with ex???

  • 01-04-2011 9:23pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    My partner has and ex (who doesn´t I suppose) they divorced 3 years ago and remain on fairly good terms, they have 2 children together who stay with us every second weekend, about once a month he travels to see them, it´s a 2 hour journey so he will always stay the night, this is fine, no problems with it at all. However a mutual friend of theirs turns 40 in July and she´s (The ex wife) phoned asking to see if there was any chance he´d go to the party, it´s an informal gathering, no invites or anything like that, he hasn´t seen this person in years but I know he´d enjoy meeting up again, he told the ex he wasn´t sure about going yet but would let her know. I feel odd about it, he´d have to stay the night, which as mentioned I don´t have a problem with when it´s to spend time with his kids, however this particular weekend they´ll be abroad with their grandparents and I´m pretty icky about the whole idea of it. I don´t for a second think she wants him back or vice versa, and I get on well enough with the ex when circumstance calls for it, but think him tipping off to a party with her is just plain weird to be honest. It was never mentioned that I´d go by anybody and I don´t want to go sit in a room with a whole heap of friends that they shared as a couple. I just find it disrespectful to me and our relationship and I´m a bit confussed by it all. Any opinions?


Comments

  • #2
    Taltos
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,830 ✭✭✭✭Taltos


    Agree with the poster above - a 2hr commute does NOT mean you have to stay over.

    Forget about the 40th what is he playing at?
    Another option is offer to book into a local hotel and go with him... This way you can either duck out of the party early or encourage him to join you for some after party fun.

    Maybe the 2hrs is totally innocent - but I do know people who travel this 5 days a week for work both directions...


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Thanks guys I appreciate the replies, I´m 100 percent sure at this point in my relationship that while they do get on, they don´t want to "get it on" it took me a while to feel this comfortable with the whole ex thing, not having being in a relationship before where the ex is on the scene in this way but it´s a situation that I have finally become okay with, he travels there fairly regularly to see the children and while they are there (they´re in a fairly isolated area) i have no problems with him staying over, it´s nice for the kids to have their dad there, they miss him. The party isnt abroad, it´s his children who will be away with the grandparents at that time. I never even considered the option of him driving home after the party, duh! I suppose she offered thinking of the drinking side of things and I really am certain she´s not trying to lure him into her bed, I guess as it´s a regular occurance she didn´t think it would be inappropriate etc.. but still all that said, I´m not comfortable with it... I´ll have a chat with him, he´s a reasonable kind of guy and over the years has been good at understanding my feelings once I explain them to him..


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